Favorite Statler & Waldorf Quotes

[ToodlesTeam]

Here's two of my favorites, even though I have no idea which episodes they're from:

Waldorf: You never know when something funny is going to happen on this show!
Statler: Did something funny happen?
Waldorf: Yeah.
Statler: You'd never know it!

I'm not even sure who delivered each line on this one but:
-What do they call that sketch?
-The medium sketch.
-The medium sketch?
-Well, it wasn't rare and it certainly wasn't well done!

 

[izzyusa]

First off, thank you so much for having this great community!

I am trying to find what season and ep ends with Statler and and Waldorf saying:

- As they say in France: adios
- That's Spanish
- I know. I don't speak French

Thanks guys!

 

[Muppet Frog]

From It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie....

Statler: Hey! The shrimp's floundering!
Statler and Waldorf both laughing.
Pepe: You shut up okay.
Statler: He told us to clam up!
Waldorf: Oh what's he want to do muscle us?
Both laughing.
Pepe: Don't get me steamed okay!
Statler: Steamed shrimp!
Waldorf: Oh pass the cocktail sauce.
Both laughing.
Pepe: That's it! I'm coming up there!

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

Statler: "It is required of every man, that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men
Waldorf: And if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.
Statler: To witness what he cannot share but might have shared and turned to happiness.

I enjoy this line because the Muppet Christmas Carol was a movie in which Statler and Waldorf had a more defined role. Don't get me wrong I love them as the two wisecrckers, but it was cool to see them as Marley

 

[PurpleHonker]

“Well, how do you like the film?"
“I've seen detergents that leave a better film than this."

 

[Quesal]

Statler: You think there's life after death?

Waldorf: Everytime I leave this theatre

 

[Zoot Fan 1981]

Here's some Statler and Waldorf clips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=thFq7qzE5fc&feature=endscreen

 

[Scooterforever]

I can't remember any specific quotes at this time, but I loved how at the end of the Hal Linden episode, after Statler and Waldorf ran the show for an episode and found it was harder than they thought, they go back to their booth and start insulting the show again.

 

[Zoot Fan 1981]

Here's some Statler and Waldorf clips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=thFq7qzE5fc&feature=endscreen

I love the one with the octopus.

 

[snichols1973]

This one is from the intro sequence to the Mac Davis episode:

: ♫ Why do we always come here?
": ♫ I guess we'll never know
: ♫ It's like a kind of torture
& : ♫ To have to watch the show! ♫