Favorite Statler & Waldorf Quotes

snichols1973

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From The Muppets (2011):

[this one is from the trailer]
:boo:: Is this movie in 3-D?
:sleep:: Nope, the Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!

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:boo:: I'd always dreamed we'd be back here.
:sleep:: Dreams? Those were nightmares!

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:boo:: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of important plot point.
:sleep:: I hope so, otherwise I would've bored the audience half to death.
:boo:: You mean half the audience is still alive?

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Jack Black: I'm being held captive by these weirdos!
:boo:; Now you know how we've felt for the last forty years!
 

ProboSowa

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"Brilliant, brilliant!
Laughter, laughter!
How was it?
About... a minute and a half."
 

CBPuppets

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Here's some of my favorites!

Helen Reddy
STATLER: Well I'll say this for them!
WALDORF: What's That?
STATLER: They don't show favoritism, they offend everyone!

Rich Little
STATLER: There! Now that's entertainment!
WALDORF: That's what you said about the War of 1812!

Paul Simon
STATLER: Nice song!
WALDORF: Yeah, but what did you think of the fair?
STATLER: Well I've seen better "fares" on the bus!
 

Great Gommzo

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No idea which episode of the Muppet Show, but I like the one where Statler says "I've a good mind to leave this theatre" and Waldorf says "If you had a good mind you wouldn't be here in the first place!"

Also, Great Muppet Caper as they're watching the fashion show: Statler: "Here come the bikinis - we'd better syncronise our pacemakers!"
 

Misskermie

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*after hugga wugga
Statler: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
Waldorf: Why you old fool...
Statler: What...?
Waldorf: I'm not your son, and my name's not shine!
Statler: And he calls me the old fool...
 

snichols1973

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*after hugga wugga
Statler: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
Waldorf: Why you old fool...
Statler: What...?
Waldorf: I'm not your son, and my name's not shine!
Statler: And he calls me the old fool...
It seems like the dialogue order is mixed up, since Waldorf opens the after-sketch dialogue by singing:

Waldorf: ♫ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.... ♫
Statler: Why you old fool....
Waldorf: What?
Statler: I'm not your son, and my name's not Shine!
Waldorf: And he calls me the old fool.....

The Muppets Huga Wuga - YouTube
 
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