Favorite Statler & Waldorf Quotes

[Daffyfan4ever]

Here's another good one:

After Debbie Harry sings "One Way or Another:"

Statler: I wonder who she was looking for.

Waldorf: Probably the guy that booked her on this crummy show.

 

[Extell]

LOL!

Sorry, but I have not seen the Muppets Show in over 10 years! I can never find it on TV. I may one day have to break down and look for the episode collection on DVD.

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

Reply

You should order the collection from Timelife. Belive me, it will be worth it.

 

[Philip Kippel]

More favorite Statler & Waldorf quotes:

From the Debbie Harry ep.:

Waldorf: Incredible! What kind of creature would marry a gargoyle?
Statler: A gar-boy.

From the Carol Burnett ep.:

Waldorf: What's our prize if we win this dance marathon?
Statler: 3 weeks away from "The Muppet Show"!

From the Juliet Prowse ep.:

Waldorf: More! More!
Statler: Less! Less!

Waldorf: That's one of the reasons I always thought the muppets were weird. They think explosions are funny. Explosions aren't funny. Although some of them are really quite droll.

From the Leslie Uggams ep.:

Waldorf: This show has always reminded me of a sardine.
Statler: Why?
Waldorf: It's a little fishy.


From "Muppet Treasure Island":

Statler: We're heroes! We saved the pig and the frog!
Waldorf: Well...it was too late to save the movie.


From the Garth Brooks ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: What would you do if you we're a rich man?
Waldorf: I would buy the network and cancel this show.

Statler: Shakespeare would've hated that!
Waldorf: You should know. You dated his sister!
Statler: Boy, was she ugly.

From the Cindy Crawford ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: This show is off to a fast start.
Waldorf: Good. Maybe it'll end sooner.

From the Whoopi Goldberg ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Waldorf: Same as it ever was.
Statler: Same as it ever was.
Both: Terrible!

From the John Goodman ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: There's nothing like good old comedy.
Waldorf: Nothing like it on this show!

From the Jason Alexander ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: That number was a real show-stopper.
Waldorf: Too bad it didn't stop this show.

From the Tony Bennett ep. of "Muppets Tonight":

Statler: What's that song that Tony Bennett always sings?
Waldorf: "I Left My Heart in San Francisco".
Statler: Big deal. I left my teeth in Minneapolis.


From "Muppet-Vision 3D":

Statler: Hey, look! Look at the guy in the Goofy mask!
Waldorf: That's not a mask.
Statler: Oh. Sorry, lady.

Statler: Oh, Waldorf, it's that dumb bear again!
Waldorf: Yeah. Hey, bear, you're not even funny in 3D!

Waldorf: We entered a contest.
Statler: Yeah! We lost!

Statler: This is a very moving moment.
Waldorf: Yeah. I wish they'd move it to Pittsburgh.

Statler: Ooh! Aah! Oh!
Waldorf: Enjoying the fireworks?
Statler: No! Your chair is on my foot!

Waldorf: Do we have time to go to the bathroom before the next show?
Statler: We can't, you old fool! We're bolted to the seats!

 

[statler&waldorf]

s:Well, that was different.
wid you like it?
s:No.
w:Then it wasn't that different.

I also have a couple in my signature.

 

[Philip Kippel]

More favorite Statler & Waldorf quotes:

From the Mummenschanz ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Waldorf: Incredible. They remind me of puppets.
Statler: Puppets. I've always hated puppets.
Waldorf: You're a traitor to your class.
Statler: What class? I never even graduated.

From the Bruce Forsyth ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Waldorf: Now, I've seen everything.
Statler: Good! Can we leave?

From the Nancy Walker ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: I wonder how sick the frog is.
Waldorf: If he put the bear in charge, he's very sick.

From the Danny Kaye ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: There was something thrilling about being IN the show tonight.
Waldorf: Yeah. Not having to watch it.

From the Edgar Bergen ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Waldorf: Why would they have a bunch of chickens sing "Baby Face"?
Statler: 'Cause the alligators were sick.
Waldorf: That makes sense.

 

[sarah_yzma]

heheheheehehehehehehe those are funneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sarah

 

[Manda:-D]

Here's some from Sex & Violence:

S: You know, Waldorf, I've been thinking.
W: Yeah, whatcha been thinking?
S: About the younger generation.
W: What about them?
S: Don't know where they're goin'!
W: Youi can say that again.
S: Don't know where they're goin'.
W: Neither did the Kaiser.
S: He coming, too?
W: Statler....My foot's asleep.


S:And so the waiter says, "Excuse me, but you're dancing with my umbrella!"
(Both laugh hysterically.)
W: I told it funnier yesterday.

S: Waldorf, either that clock stopped, or we just died.

 

[Philip Kippel]

More favorite Statler & Waldorf quotes:

From the George Burns ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: Disgusting! Ever see eating that bad?
Waldorf: Sure.
Statler: Where?
Waldorf: Thanksgiving dinner with my inlaws!

From the Elton John ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Both: See 'ya later, alligator!

Waldorf: Hey, let's sneak out and grab a pizza.

From the Lola Falana ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: Gonzo would've been perfect for that movie he was gonna star in.
Waldorf: What movie was that?
Statler: "The Revenge of the Little Blue Geek"!

 

[Fireimps87]

from The Muppets Take Manhattan

Statler:"Hey Waldorf, its a frog and a pig."
Waldorf:"Looks like their in love."
Statler:"yeah."
Waldorf:"Makes you kinda sick doesnt it?"

Statler:"Look at that, they finally made it to broadway."
Waldorf:"Yeah I already got tickets."
Statler:"YOu did? are they good seats?"
Waldorf:"Yeah, they're for the next train out of town!"