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Favorite Statler & Waldorf Quotes


Philip Kippel

From the Muppetisms:

Statler: I went snowboarding yesterday.
Waldorf: That's nothing. I cut all the fiber out of my diet.
Statler: What? You're a mad man!
Waldorf: Born to be wild, baby! Eat my dust!
Statler: Eat your dust? If you were any older, you'd be dust!

Philip Kippel

From the Don Knotts ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: I know what's wrong with this show! It's the theater!
Waldorf: What's wrong with it?
Statler: The seats face the stage!

From the Andy Williams ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: I thought that number was gonna be good, and then...
Waldorf: Then what?
Statler: Then they raised the curtain!

From the Rich Little ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Waldorf: Wha...? What did I miss?
Statler: Oh, nothing. They just 'bombed' again.

Cantus Rock

Well-Known Member
Jul 29, 2002
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From "The Muppets Go Hollywood":

S: They say this is a very "In" party.
W: Why do they say that?
S: Because you can't get out!

From the Juliet Prowse episode of the Muppet Show:

S: The question is, what is a "Mahna Mahna"?
W: The question is, who cares?

From Muppet*Vision 3D:

(after Fozzie sprays water on the crowd)
S: He's trying to drown us! What kind of an act is that?!
W: An act of mercy!

Doh ho ho ho!

Gotta love :boo: & :sleep:


Philip Kippel

From the Marty Feldman ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: I don't think that was Sinbad.
Waldorf: No, but it was certainly "sung bad"!

Waldorf: How should we know how to get to Sesame Street?
Statler: We don't even know how to get out of this stupid theater box!

From the Liberace ep. of "The Muppet Show":

Statler: Finally, we've seen them do a good show!
Waldorf: Good! Can we stop coming now?

I also like Statler & Waldorf's wisecracks in Fozzie's monologues, the Statler & Waldorf comments in the "Jim Henson's Muppets" Game Boy Color game and even the Statler & Waldorf comments in Travelling Matt's Muppet Show outlines.


Well-Known Member
Sep 7, 2002
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I also like Statler & Waldorf's wisecracks in Fozzie's monologues,
I have yet to see one of those. Did those last past the first season?

Oh, here's another one. I don't know which ep it's from since I just heard it on MC radio. Anyway, here it is.

Statler: That was a real wire act.

Waldorf: On this show, everything's a wire act.

Statler: Why's that?

Waldorf: Because, you keep asking "Wire they doing it?"

Mary Louise

Well-Known Member
Mar 6, 2009
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Here's a quote I like from the Chris Langham episode of the Muppet Show. Statler and Waldorf are conversing in their theater box after a backstage scene...

Waldorf: Well, if you ever think about it, there are these strange pauses in this show when nothing happens onstage.
Statler: Let's not think about it!


Well-Known Member
Mar 22, 2006
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:boo: "Wake up you old fool! You slept through the show!"

:sleep: "Who's the old fool? You watched it!"



Well-Known Member
Aug 15, 2009
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man, i have so many, i can't remember most. just for nostalgia, i'd say the one from muppets family christmas is probably on my top list
"sure, we'd love to see your act."
"in fact we'd hate to miss your act."
"in fact we'd love to hate your act."

or maybe

"hey, they make a great team, the snow man's ice cold and the bear's not so hot."

hee, man, they're awesome :sleep::boo:


Well-Known Member
Apr 17, 2008
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Alright frog we watched the show

yeah unlock the doors!