Battle of the Muppet All-Stars

[Beauregard]

Loved it all! Every bit! Especially the thought buble. Very clever.

 

[Xerus]

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

And to answer your questions, Count. I decided to give Slimey and Tutter one full point each, for it would make the scoring easier for me to write. The Laff-A-Lympics had kind of the same system where if two opposing athletes get tied for first place, they'd both get 25 points each instead of dividing an odd number like 25.

I don't remember too much about that cheerleading squad episode. I remember an episode where Betty Lou, Rosita, and Zoe started an all girls' clubhouse, so I decided to make them the cheerleaders.

And all those reporters you saw won't be competing. They're just there to announce.

And to your earlier question from my last chapter, yes, I got the free frog legs idea from McDonald's. They had a contest a while back where if the USA wins a gold medal in an Olympic event, you get free food. It was also done in a Simpsons episode where the Krustyburger had the same contest.

Thanks again for reading and you all stay tuned for another event.

Xerus

 

[The Count]

Well... To your point about tieing winners for an event from Laff-a-Lympics, all I can say is...

Too true, too true.

My only concerns with the ever-expanding news team is that the athletic core that makes up each team might get depleted. But if you're in need of more characters to add to the teams... You know where to come to!

 

[Beauregard]

Indeed. However, I love these reporters! It's a very great way of intigrating them all.

I fear for your big-house team, as they don't have so many people to compete, but, judging from so far, you will solve that problem with stylel and pinash.

 

[BEAR]

Indeed. However, I love these reporters! It's a very great way of intigrating them all.

I fear for your big-house team, as they don't have so many people to compete, but, judging from so far, you will solve that problem with stylel and pinash.

The Big Blue House team can reuse their players. They don't need a different player for each game if you don't want.

 

[MuppetDude]

Yes MuppetDude. I have thought about Rhonda Rat being one of the many announcers in this tournament. I've never seen Hoobs though, and I haven't really thought about putting the Dr. Seuss characters in this fanfic, since they're really Dr. Seuss's property. And maybe I can put a Sam and Friends character somewhere.

Earlier I asked if you could put in Yertle (from "Wubbulous World), perhaps to con the bikers into buying things to cheat with. Since you'd rather not use a Dr. Seuss character, then how about Leon (from JHH)?

 

[The Count]

Then again, maybe Leon could host a small half-time swimsuit contest.

Kermit: What are you doing out here Leon?
Leon: Just warming up the crowds for you boss.
Gonzo: How small?
Kermit: What?
Gonzo: Leon's swimsuit show... How small?
Leon: Ix-nay on that.

 

[Xerus]

Thanks for the ideas, everyone. But I plan to have the reporters you saw earlier like Guy, Clifford, Spamela, and Prairie come back to report again since they did such a great job.

And I have some ideas for more characters that can be on the Big Blue House team. Woodland Valley has lots of citizens that I can choose from.

 

[Xerus]

Battle of the Muppet All-Stars

By Cullen Pittman

Day 7

LEWIS: Welcome back, sports fans to Day 7 of Battle of the Muppet All-Stars. This is Lewis Kazagger.

(The camera turns to Newsman who appears in an undershirt and busy shaving with cream on his face.)

NEWSMAN: And I’m your friendly, not ready to go on the air, Newsman!

LEWIS: Newsie! That’s unprofessional for a sportscaster. Appearing on the air all unprepared!

NEWSMAN: Hey, I overslept today! Besides, this was the first embarrassing mistake I ever made!

LEWIS: What about that time you came on the air and forgot to put on your pants?

A STUTTERING NEWSMAN: No one has any proof of that! My bottom half was behind the desk! I had pants on that day!

LEWIS(taking out a newspaper): That’s not what this old issue of the Daily Scandal says. There’re even photos.

(Newsman yanks the paper away from Lewis and sits on it.)

NEWSMAN: Don’t we have a sporting event to get to?

LEWIS: Oh yes. Let’s get an update from the cross country bike race from Telly Monster.

* * * * * *

(We see Telly Monster pop his head out of a haystack.)

TELLY: Thank you, Lewis. This is Telly, your Monster on the Spot, hitting the hay and giving you an update about the cross country bike race. We’re still in the country and we’re waiting for our cyclists to come by on this road. Wait a minute, I see one of them. It’s Beaker! He seems to have left the other bikers behind and has taken a huge lead. Just look at him go!

(We see Beaker riding his bike while singing, Old MacDonald, in his meep-meep language.)

TELLY: Uh, oh. It looks like something’s coming this way. It’s a herd of cattle crossing the pathway. And here comes Beaker coming to a stop.

(Beaker watches as all the cattle slowly walk across the path making him unable to get through.)

BEAKER SIGHING: Mee, meep.

TELLY: There must be over 100 bulls and cows getting in Beaker’s way. Beaker might be there for a long time!

(Beaker takes out his cell phone and calls Bunsen.)

BEAKER: Mee, mee, meep, moo, moo, moo, mee, mee, moo moo, meep!

BUNSEN: Yes Beaky. I can see what you’re going through on the large screen TV above the stadium. I guess you might say you have yourself a COW-lamity or an UTTER dilemma!

BEAKER GROANING: Mee, meep!

BUNSEN: Sorry about that. Fozzie begged me to send you those two puns. Anyway, there’s a device on the bike that’s perfect for removing cattle traffic. Push the big red button on the front of your handlebars.

(Beaker spies the red button and nervously pushes it. Suddenly, red paint starts to squirt all over Beaker turning him a bright red.)

A DRIPPING WET BEAKER: Mee, meep?

BUNSEN: Trust me, Beaker. Now watch the scientific magic happen.

(The bulls turn their heads and look at the red Beaker and start getting angry.)

A SCARED BEAKER: Mee, Meep!

BUNSEN: As everyone knows, the color red makes a bull angry. And now that you’re all red, they’re going to stop the pathway blocking. See, they’re all leaving the path. Aren’t I a genius?

(The reason all the bulls have left the pathway was because they were stampeding after the panicking red Beaker who had pedaled off the path as well.)

BUNSEN: Oh dear. I guess to get them to leave the path was for you to leave the path as well! I should’ve looked at my calculations some more.

(One of the bulls had butted Beaker causing him and his bike to fly into the air and land in a nice soft haystack. Beaker rose out of the haystack, took off his helmet, wiped his brow and sighed of relief. But then a cow came along and started chewing off his red hair.)

TELLY: Poor Beaker! But at least he got the path cleared so our other cyclists can cross and here they come. Now it’s Doc Hog in the lead, with Traveling Matt in second, and The Count in third. This is Telly, your Monster on the Spot, bringing you back to Lewis and the Newsman. OWWWW!

(Telly looks behind him and sees another cow chewing on some hay along with some purple fur, then Telly starts rubbing his sore bottom.)

* * * * * *

LEWIS: Thank you, Telly. What did you think of that exciting bike riding scene, Newsie?

NEWSMAN: In a minute, I think I got some shaven hair in my nose!

(Newsman starts blowing his nose with a tissue, until a camera flash goes off.)

NEWSMAN: What the….? (He turns around and finds Fleet Scribber holding a camera.)

FLEET: Oh boy. The Daily Scandal bosses are gonna love this dirt! (He storms out of the booth.)

NEWSMAN: Not again! Curse you, Fleet Scribbler! I’ll get you for this!

(Newsman runs out of the booth dressed only in his undershirt and multi-colored boxers.)

A DISGUSTED LEWIS: Why couldn’t my co-caster be a pepperoni pizza?! Anyway, on to today’s event! And because you all requested her back, mainly you single guys and unhappily married men, here’s Spamela Hamderson.

* * * * * *

PLATFORM DIVING

* * * * * *

(We see Spamela sitting in a deckchair next to a huge diving board near the pool.)

SPAMELA: Welcome back all you cool and hot sports fans. This is Spamela Hamderson reporting live from the 100 meter dive where our strong and ready to get wet athletes will be showing their grace and form on the diving board. Ooooh! I can’t wait to feel that cool water splash on me!

(Spamela gets some water splashed on her by one of the groundskeepers.)

SPAMELA: Thank you, cutie! I was sizzling like a sausage. (She takes some money from her coat and stuffs it in the groundskeeper’s shirt.)

GROUNDSKEEPER(looking at the bill): A ten thousand dollar bill. I was really hoping for a kiss from her. (Then he sadly walks away.)

* * * * * *

SPAMELA: Look, here comes our first diver now. One of the team captains of the Sesame team, Ernie!

(Ernie walks to the diving board dressed in blue Bermuda shorts with yellow duckies. He waves to the crowd and laughs his trademark laugh.)

BERT: How come Ernie gets to wear those shorts while I had to wear a Speedo in my event?!

GROVER: Maybe Ernie is more modest than you?

AN ANNOYED BERT: GRRRRRR!

SPAMELA: We see Ernie climbing the ladder of the diving board, now he’s on the top, now he’s about to dive. Wait a minute. He’s stopped for some reason.

(Ernie starts checking the pockets of his trunks and becomes very nervous.)

ERNIE: Rubber Duckie, where are you?! OH NO!!!! (Starts climbing back down.)

SPAMELA: Uh oh! Now Ernie’s climbing back down. Has he developed a sudden fear of heights, otherwise known as acrophobia?

ERNIE(shouting): No, I have Duckiephobia! A fear of not having my little water buddy with me! (He runs back into the dugout.)

BERT: Ernie, what’s the matter? You were just about to dive.

ERNIE: It’s my Rubber Duckie, Bert! I’ve lost him!

BERT: Don’t worry, Ernie. We’ll find him after you make your dive.

ERNIE: Go into the water without Rubber Duckie?! Are you mad, Bert?! You know I can’t get into a bathtub or a swimming pool without my Rubber Duckie!

BERT: Can’t you just make a fast dive and get out of the water, quickly? Spending a few seconds in the pool without your Duckie won’t kill you, will it?

ERNIE(shaking Bert around): What are you thinking, Bert?! Haven’t you heard about the buddy system? And I need my little buddy, Rubber Duckie by my side! Oh, Rubber Duckie, why have you abandoned me during this nationwide event?!

BERT(turns to the Sesame team): Listen up, everyone. We gotta find Ernie’s Rubber Duckie or else he won’t dive. Search this dugout and the entire locker room until you find it.

(The Sesame team nods and they all scatter around trying to find Ernie’s Duckie.)

ERNIE: Thank you, Bert. You’re my best friend besides my Rubber Duckie.

BERT(blushing): Anything for you, pal. Excuse me for a minute. (Bert rushes out of the dugout and heads to the referee.)

BERT: Excuse me, Mr. Referee. But Ernie’s having a little problem he needs to deal with before he dives. Can you please hold his dive back until he’s ready?

REFEREE: Well, I suppose. But if he’s not ready until after the last diver dives, your team will be disqualified.

BERT: Thanks, you won’t regret this. I hope! (Bert heads back to the dugout where everyone is still searching for Ernie’s missing duckie.)

* * * * * *

SPAMELA: Well, it turns out because of an unusual act of a lack of duckiness, Ernie’s dive will be held back later. So right now, we’ll go onto our next diver. And here he is, diving for the Big Blue House team is Pop the Otter. We see Pop climbing the ladder, now he’s approaching the diving board, now he’s jumping, and now he’s curling up like a fuzzy purple ball?

(The Pop-ball continues to bounce on the board and then jumps off, only to start bouncing on the middle diving board. Each bounce causes Pop to jump higher and higher. He then starts to fly high into the air and then so high that he ends up bouncing off a passing blimp. Then Pop zooms down like a missile until he hits the pool splashing the entire crowd.)

A WITCH IN THE CROWD: AHHHH! I’M MELTING!!! I’M MELTING!!!

(The people around the witch back away and watch her melt into a puddle.)

A GUY: Usher, clean up in the seventh row, please!

SPAMELA: That was a truly amazing dive that cute little otter displayed! Let’s see what the judges have to say.

(We see the TV monitor above and the number 9.5 appears on the screen.)

SPAMELA: Wow, a 9.5! That’s gonna be tough to beat!

POP(In the pool): Yay, I did it! OTTER POWER! OTTER POWER!

(The Big Blue House team starts to cheer as well.)

* * * * * *

(Back in the Sesame locker room, we see the Sesame team searching every corner and locker for Ernie’s missing Duckie.)

ERNIE: Oh, Rubber Duckie?! Where can you be?!

(In comes Sherlock Hemlock.)

SHERLOCK: Fear not, Ernie old bean! I, Sherlock Hemlock, the world’s greatest detective, will locate and find this missing Rubber Duckie of yours!

(He takes out his magnifying glass and starts searching. The first thing he approaches was Cookie Monster.)

SHERLOCK: Please say, AHHH, Mr. Monster.

(Cookie opens his big mouth and Sherlock starts to look inside.)

A HORRIFIED ERNIE: You mean Cookie Monster might’ve eaten my…..?!!

SHERLOCK: Relax, Ernie. I see no indigestible Rubber Duckie clogging this monster’s esophagus. So he must be innocent.

COOKIE: Thank goodness me didn’t eat Ernie’s Duckie. But me didn’t know me eat esophagus, whatever esophagus is. Is it like a Snuffle-Upagus?

(Next, Sherlock checks Oscar’s trash can.)

SHERLOCK: Are there any Duckies in there?

OSCAR’S VOICE: No, but there are a lot of YUCKIES in here. Have some!

(Sherlock gets hit in the face with some mud and starts frowning.)

SHERLOCK: He’s innocent, but very unpleasant!

* * * * * *

SPAMELA: Now here comes our next diver. It’s the Fraggle team’s star athlete, Red Fraggle.

(We see Red walk proudly to the board with a backpack on her back. Gobo follows after her.)

GOBO: Red, are you sure you want to make this dive for us?

RED: Of course I do. You all know very well that Red Fraggle was born to dive!

GOBO: But we’ve all seen you dive many times. You kind of have this habit of missing the pool and landing on the side flat on your face.

RED: Oh sure, just one or two times.

GOBO: Make that one or two thousand!

RED: Well, anyway. I’ve come up with a foolproof strategy in case that does happen again. (She starts patting her backpack.) Now, if you’ll excuse me…..

(Red climbs to the top of the diving board while Gobo watches nervously.)

SPAMELA: It looks like Red is taking her place on the board, now she’s spreading her arms apart, shaking her pigtails around. Now she’s diving! She’s doing okay so far. Wait a minute, she seems to be moving away from the pool and is about to hit the side! Uh oh! Not only will this look bad for the Fraggle team, but for poor Red’s lifespan as well!

GOBO(shaking his head): I was afraid of this!

RED: Oh, Fraggle of little faith! I told you I was prepared. (She starts reaching into her backpack.)

SPAMELA: It appears Red has come up with some kind of last minute strategy. She’s taking out a bucket with a suctioned dart attached to the bottom. And she’s tossing it on the ground next to the pool. Now she’s taking out a squirt gun and filling the bucket with water. Now she’s about to dive into it. Counting down, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! SPLAAASHHH!

(We see an upside down Red with her head in the bucket of water.)

SPAMELA: She did it! Even though she didn’t dive into the pool, it was still awesome! Let’s see what the judges say.

(The monitor shows a 7.)

SPAMELA: And the Fraggle team gets a 7, which puts the Big Blue House team still in first place!

GOBO(approaching Red still in the bucket): Sorry, you didn’t win, Red. I’ll help you out of that bucket.

RED: Don’t you dare! I never swam in a bucket of water before! It’s like my head’s wet, but the rest of me is dry! This is a whole new experience for me, WOO HOO HOO!

(Red starts wiggling her arms and legs around while her head was still stuck in the bucket.)

GOBO(sighing): Whatever rocks your world!

* * * * * *

(Back in the Sesame locker room, Sherlock is still searching for Ernie’s missing Duckie.)

SHERLOCK: Maybe I should try listening for that squeaking sound the noble Rubber Duckie makes.

(Just then, Sherlock hears a HONK. Sherlock rushes over and sees a dark blue Honker busy honking his trademark nose.)

SHERLOCK: AH HA! So it’s you who has Ernie’s Rubber Duckie!

(Honker makes a questionable honk.)

SHERLOCK: That sound proves you must still have it on you! I cannot believe you, trying to sabotage your own team by kidnapping an innocent Rubber Duckie from Ernie!

(Honker honks rapidly trying to tell Sherlock that he doesn’t have Ernie’s Duckie on him.)

SHERLOCK: And I can still hear that poor Duckie crying out for help! Release him at once!

* * * * * *

(A sad Ernie sits on a bench while Bert and Big Bird try to comfort him.)

ERNIE: Oh, my poor Rubber Duckie! GONE FOREVER!

BIG BIRD: Gee, I know how you feel, Ernie. If I ever lost my teddy bear, Radar, I’d feel the same way.

(Big Bird sits on the bench next to Ernie and a squeaking sound was heard.)

BERT: What was that?!!

BIG BIRD: I don’t know. Could it be a whoopee cushion? (Big Bird gets back up, looks at his seat, and finds it empty. Then he sits back down and the squeak was heard again. He gets back up and finds nothing.)

BIG BIRD: Must be an imaginary whoopee cushion. Wait till I tell Snuffy about this!

ERNIE: Wait a minute, Big Bird. There’s something stuck in your tail feathers. (Ernie pulls out the object from Big Bird’s tail and smiles when he sees what it is.)

ERNIE: MY RUBBER DUCKIE! I FOUND YOU!!!

BIG BIRD: Hey, you found your Duckie! But what was he doing hiding in my tail feathers?

(Ernie squeaks Rubber Duckie and listens.)

ERNIE: Rubber Duckie says he got a little bit of the jitters and was worried that he might lose the diving event. (Ernie squeaks Rubber Duckie some more.) But after seeing how sad and devastated I was, he wants to go out there and try his best for both of us.

BERT(shaking his head): I’ll never understand the chemistry between those two!

ERNIE: This is no time for chemistry, Bert. We got a dive to perform! Come on Rubber Duckie! (Ernie rushes out of the locker room past Sherlock who was still interrogating the poor Honker.)

SHERLOCK: Either you reveal that Rubber Duckie this instant or I’ll have all of Scotland Yard on your case!

* * * * * *

SPAMELA: Look, here comes Ernie making a comeback. And he’s looking more determined that ever! Now he’s climbing up the ladder while clutching onto something yellow and squeaky. Now he’s made it to the top!

ERNIE: What do you say, Rubber Duckie, shall we do a swan dive? (Ernie starts squeaking his Duckie again.)

ERNIE: Okay, we’ll do a Duckie dive instead. KEE HEE HEE HEE!

SPAMELA: Ernie just jumped off the board while flapping his arms like a duck and kicking his legs like a duck. Now he’s made a splash like a duck! Ernie must be going through a ducky day to do a dive like that. And it seemed to have pleased the judges. They’re giving Ernie an 8 putting him ahead of the Fraggle team, but behind the Big Blue House team.

(We see Rubber Duckie floating in the water while Ernie pops his head out.)

ERNIE: That was fun, wasn’t it Rubber Duckie? Uh, Rubber Duckie, where are you?! Oh no! I lost you again!

(Ernie gets out of the pool searching for his friend not realizing that his Rubber Duckie was sitting on his head.)

SPAMELA: That was weird. And speaking of weird, here comes a guy who has mastered the art of weird. It’s the diver for the Muppet Show team, The Great Gonzo!

(Gonzo comes in wearing a white robe while quiet unenthusiastic claps are heard from the crowd.)

GONZO: Thank you, thank you my adoring fans. I, the Great Gonzo will perform the greatest and deadliest high diving act you’ve ever seen.

KERMIT(in the dugout): Deadliest, Oh no! If I know Gonzo….!

(Kermit hops out of the dugout and hops over to Gonzo.)

GONZO: Oh, I’m so glad you’re here, Kermit. Hold this for me please.

(Gonzo hands his robe to Kermit and everyone becomes shocked to see Gonzo dressed in a jumpsuit covered with multi-colored light bulbs.)

KERMIT: Gonzo, are those electric lights you’re wearing?!

GONZO: They certainly are. I figured I’d give the judges and the crowd a dazzling little light show while I dive. (Gonzo starts climbing the ladder.)

KERMIT: You can’t dive into the water with electrical devices! You could get killed!

GONZO(still climbing): Cool! I’ve always wanted to see my face in the obituary! (Kermit just shakes his head in worry.)

SPAMELA: Is he really doing this? Is Gonzo really going to dive with all those electric light bulbs attached to his torso? Hmmm, I wouldn’t mind having a few guys over with light bulbs strapped to them. Oh wait. Concentrate on the dive, Spamela! We see Gonzo jumping on the board and now he’s diving!

GONZO: Showtime!(As Gonzo falls, he hits a switch on his wrist and the light bulbs on his body start flashing a red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. Then the lights on his back start flashing the letters, G-O-N-Z-O!)

SPAMELA: Sports fans, we’re seeing a beautiful but dangerous form of diving! Gonzo is giving us a wonderful light show, but he’s getting closer to the water, which might end his diving career, permanently!

GONZO: Okay, that’s enough of the light show, now to turn off my lights before I hit the water. (Gonzo tries to click off the lights, but they wouldn’t go out.) Come on lights, turn off! Why won’t you turn off?! Uh oh! Here comes the water!

KERMIT: Hop for it everyone! (Kermit, Spamela, and the referee run away from the pool as Gonzo dives in the water causing bolts of electricity to jump out of the pool.)

GONZO: WOO HAA HAA HAA! (Gonzo cries out in pain as lots of steam gushes out of the pool and colorful electric sparks were performing in the steam.)

WALDORF: Have you ever seen such a spectacular sight in your life?

STATLER: That’s nothing. The most spectacular sight I’ve ever seen in my life was my first wife’s divorce papers!

W & S: HAW HAW HAW HAW!

(Once the steam had cleared, Kermit, Spamela, and the referee rush back to the pool and found it completely dry.)

SPAMELA: This is totally outrageous! That electrical dive has completely fried all the water out of the pool. Let’s see if The Great Gonzo is alive.

(They all looked at the bottom of the pool and saw a charred black Gonzo lying there.)

KERMIT: Gonzo, are you okay? Yeesh, I don’t know how many times I’ve asked you that question!

(Gonzo opens his eyes and gets up. Then he looks at his charred covered body.)

GONZO: I’ll be fine. You know, I thought I’d get all clean if I dove into a pool!

SPAMELA: Gonzo seems to be okay! Let’s see what the judges say about this.

(The monitor starts to spark like crazy as a huge number 10 appears on the screen.)

SPAMELA: The Great Gonzo gets a perfect 10 for that death defying diving act! The Muppet Show team wins the diving event!

(The crowd looks confused, but then starts cheering for Gonzo. As Gonzo climbs out of the pool, Spamela approaches him.)

SPAMELA: Gonzo, you’ve pulled the greatest dive ever in this great sporting event. But did you ever think that going through a dangerous stunt like that would get you killed?

GONZO: Of course I did. I’ve done hundreds of deadly stunts like that all my life and somehow, I manage to come out of them alive.

(We see a Grim Reaper Muppet on the side snapping his bony fingers in frustration.)

GONZO: Sorry again, Death. But keep trying. One of these days you’ll get me. I believe in you!

(Death walks away and then looks at Waldorf and Statler.)

DEATH: Any day now, you’ll both be mine!

WALDORF: How about today?

STATLER: Yeah, rescue us from those Muppets!

SPAMELA: This is Spamela Hamderson returning you to that cute caster with the cute and funny nose, Lewis Kazagger.

* * * * * *

LEWIS: Thank you Spamela. And thank you for the compliment on the Kazagger family nose. Hear that all you girls who rejected me in high school? The sexy pig thinks my nose is cute! Anyway, we’ve just seen a wild and shocking dive by our favorite blue geek giving the Muppet Show team the victory. Let’s see how the scoring is now. Digit?

* * * * * *

DIGIT: That sure was a cool dive Gonzo pulled and look, he even autographed a light bulb for me!

(Digit holds up a yellow light bulb with Gonzo’s autograph on it. Digit gets so excited that sparks fly out of his head and the light bulb he’s holding starts to shine bright and then explodes.)

DIGIT: Aw, circuit breakers! Anyway, as for today’s scoring, it looks like the Muppet Show, Sesame, and the Big Blue House teams are leading with 2 points each while the Fraggle team is in second place with one point. Back to you, Lewis.

* * * * * *

LEWIS: Thank you, Digit. Well sports fans, this tournament started out with the Fraggle team leading, but now it seems like the Fraggles have dropped down to last place. Can they catch up? We’ll find out on Day 8 of Battle of the Muppet All-Stars.

(Newsman comes back in fully clothed, but with a grumpy look on his face.)

LEWIS: Hi, Newsie. We’re you able to stop Fleet from publishing that embarrassing picture of yourself?

NEWSMAN: Does this answer your question?! (He tosses the latest issue of the Daily Scandal on the counter top. It was a picture of the Newsman in his underwear and above it reads, MUPPET NEWSMAN REVEALS IT ALL!)

NEWSMAN: That article is a total lie!

LEWIS: I’ll say. You’re not revealing it all! You still have your underwear on!

NEWSMAN: That’s only in the front page! When I was chasing after Scribbler, my drawers got caught on a nearby nail and RIP, he got lucky with another shot!

LEWIS: Ooooh! I gotta see this! (He starts flipping through the paper.)

NEWSMAN: Camera off! NOW!!!!

(Camera goes off.)

 

[BEAR]

I was excited to see a new chapter written. I particularly liked the melting witch bit. Totally random and unexpected. Only the Muppets would have something happen like that. Also the poor Honker and Sherlock was hilarious. I enjoyed Sherlock's "old bean" line. One of my favorite British expressions. Hilarious!!