Statler & Waldorf quotes...

[David French]

STATLER: Boo!
WALDORF: Boooo!
S: That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard!
W: It was terrible!
S: Horrendous!
W: Well it wasn’t that bad.
S: Oh, yeah?
W: Well, there were parts of it I liked!
S: Well, I liked alot of it.
W: Yeah, it was GOOD actually.
S: It was great!
W: It was wonderful!
S: Yeah, bravo!
W: More!
S: More!
W: More!
S: More!

That comes from the Muppet Show Album, after the Pachalafaka number.

 

[DerekJ]

Three years going, and nobody quoted:

S: They don't write the old songs anymore.
W: Nope--Nowadays they just write new ones.

----
(And can't remember the context, but

W: Statler, you are the Old Fool that there is No Fool Like!

 

[Gorgon Heap]

(And can't remember the context, but

W: Statler, you are the Old Fool that there is No Fool Like!

Oo! Oo! I know this one!

W: "Ah, there aren't many performers who could hold a candle to Bruce Forsyth!"
S: "Of course not, they'd burn him!"
W: "Statler, you must be the old fool there's no fool like."

And I can't believe I forgot my very favorite S&W quote, the closing comment of the Don Knotts episode (first one I ever had on tape):

S: "This show is awful!"
W: "Terrible!"
S: "Disgusting!"
W: "See you next week?"
S: "Of course."

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[Philip Kippel]

How about these?

From "Statler & Waldorf From the Balcony: Episode 5":

(while previewing "The 40-Year-Old Virgin")
W: I got waxed one time. Two hours of misery...and that was just my ears!


From "Statler & Waldorf From the Balcony: Episode 6":

S: We won't be covering anything new?
W: Hollywood didn't. Why should we?


From "Statler & Waldorf From the Balcony: Episode 7":

W: After a summer filled with loud, overhyped junk, Hollywood allows us to clench our pellets in the fall with quiet, underhyped junk!

S: Since the search for the next James Bond continues, I'd like to officially offer MY services.
W: License to kill? You're lucky they give you a license to drive!
S: For me, a license to drive IS a license to kill!

(while previewing "Just Like Heaven")
W: (notices Statler crying) What's wrong?
S: I miss... Uh... I miss...
W: Relax! Reese Witherspoon isn't really dead!
S: No, I miss my ten bucks!

(after previewing "Just Like Heaven")
S: Well, I can relate to this film. Last night, when I got home, a complete stranger was in the living room.
W: Oh, was she a ghost?
S: No, I went to the wrong house again.

S: If this movie is just like heaven, I'm glad I've been a bad person.

(after watching the lost footage of Bobo's Star Wars auditions)
W: Now, I know why that footage was lost!

W: I am so sick of Johnny Depp!
S: Well, even in claymation, he can get more women than you!
W: Oh, yeah? Well, even Clay Aiken can get more women than you!
S: Ouch!
W: Oh, yeah. That might've been too mean.

(after previewing "Corpse Bride")
S: It's nice to see someone marrying a corpse. It gives us hope.
W: Amen, brother.

S: Is it me or is Tim Burton sometimes weird just for the sake of being weird?
W: I think he just likes to make an artistic statement.
S: What statement is he making here?
W: He's weird!

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Wow, a lot of those "From the Balcony" quotes are pretty darn good. There may be hope for the future of Muppet writing yet!

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[Beauregard]

The problem with them, is the bad delivery. Oops, wrong thread.

*scarpers*

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

And of course there's the one I remember.

Statler: You're allowed to say 'he**' on this?

Waldorf: He**, yeah! It's the Internet!

 

[Gorgon Heap]

I wonder if stars take it as a compliment or as an offense to be heckled by S&W. It's not their job to make friends, to be sure, but ya gotta admit, the Muppets don't attract the same caliber of stars they once did (the phone sequence with Kermit in AVMMCM could ring true to the real situation of the Muppets). Guess it's a good thing that a lot of the up-and-comers of today are Muppet generation.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[lord statler]

how many people would love to see an all WALDORF AND STATLER DVD?????

 

[Harvey Towers]

But then they wouldn't have anything to heckle...

Unless they heckled the previous heckle

Then heckled the previous heckle and then that heckle, which they would in turn heckle and then...

Some time later...

You get the idea...