Statler & Waldorf quotes...

[TravellingMatt]

(Also from the Paul Simon episode)
Statler: Brrrr. It's freezing in here. Waldorf when you
come back can you give me my coat?

(Waldorf brings Statler a goat)

This joke was recycled from a live-action segment on "Sesame Street". In the segment, David is stranded on a desert island, rubs a bottle, and out comes a genie, as played by Maria. David asks for a boat to get off the island, and gets a coat, then a goat, before finally getting his boat (a TOY boat)!

Other great S & W lines:

(From the Elton John ep)

(S & W are wearing flamboyant Elton John-style costumes)

Statler: Boy, we really look like something from the rock age!
Waldorf: No, we look more like something from the Stone Age!

***

(From the Shirley Bassey ep, after "Boogie In The Barnyard")

S & W: BOO BOO said the men in the theatre box, DON'T BOOGIE IN THE BARNYARD!

***

(From the Julie Andrews ep, after "The Lonely Goatherd")

Waldorf: Bravo! I loved it! I liked the goat!
Statler: He would...the old goat!

***

(From the Elton John ep, watching the Swedish Chef chase a chicken around)

Waldorf: "Let's sneak out and grab a pizza."

***

(After a number where Piggy leads the pigs in "Cuanta Le Gusta")

Statler: "That was your basic Latin number."
Waldorf: "No, that was your basic Pig Latin number."

***

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Daffyfan2002-

The quote from the George Burns episode is as follows:

S: That George Burns is a great singer!
W: Well so am I, Statler!
S: What?!
W: Sure! Hey, you wanna hear me sing?
S: Only if you sing tenor.
W: Tenor?
S: Ten or eleven miles away! HA HA HA HA HA!

The life after death joke is saying that sitting through the show is death, and leaving the theater is life again.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[Crazy Harry]

(after seeing Gonzo preform 'Jamboree')

W: Ther've been wars started over less then that

S: You're wrong. Nothing's less then that.

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

Reply

The life after death joke is saying that sitting through the show is death, and leaving the theater is life again.

Thanks David. I should have remembered the ones from the Elton John and Julie Andrews episodes considering they're on Timelife's first volume and I have watched that one more times than I've watched the rest of them. Lol.

 

[Drtooth]

Here are some I made up for a few comicsin which Statler and Waldorf give their commentary. Just want to know what you think!

(In one comic, they're at the movies watching a trailer for a parody of Like Mike)

Statler: What's worse than a movie about Michael Jordan without him actually being in it?

Waldorf: How about a film about Michael Jordan WITH him in it?
_____________________________________________________

(To start off my annuall Halooween Issue, I had Fozzie Bear tell some jokes about ghosts, to which, they reply)

S: Hey bear! The only thing scarey around here is the fact you're still in comedy!

W: Yeah! The only thing in this issue that won't come back from the dead is your act!

S: Face it! In the field of entertainment, you don't stand a GHOST of a chance!

Both: Dwoah! Ho ho ho!!!

 

[Crazy Harry]

S: "Take a trip" you said. "See the world you said" you said. Now we're stuck on the front of this stupid ship.
W: It could be worse. We could be stuck in the audience.

 

[Devo]

W: That was wonderful!
S: Bravo!
W: I loved it!
S: That was great!
W: Well, it was pretty good.
S: Well, It wasn't bad.
W: There were parts that weren't pretty good, though.
S: It could've been a lot better.
W: I didn't really like it.
S: It was pretty terrible.
W: It was bad.
S: It was awful!
S & W: Terrible! Eh, boo!
(I took that from after Mahna Mahna on the Muppet Hits cassette)

S: Brilliant!
W: Ah, it was terrible.
S: Well, it was good.
W: Ah, it was very bad.
S: Well, it was average.
W: Ah, it was in the middle there.
S: Ah, it wasn't that great.
W: I kind of liked it.
S: It was terrible!
W: I loved it!
S: Get 'em off!
W: MORE!
(from same source, after "Lady Of Spain")

W: Tell me, Statler, how do you like the album so far? I mean, just between you and me.
S: Well, uh, strictly off the record...
W: Yes?
S: I'd like to be off the record!
(laughter ensues)
(same again, after Cuanto le Gusta)

W: Hey, this is a great way for Fozzie to do his material!
S: Yeah, a moving target is harder to hit!
(watching Fozzie perform on roller-skates)

S: He was doing okay until he fell off the stage.
W: Wrong. He was doing okay until he came ON the stage!
(at the end of the roller-skate bit)

W: You know, on the show that wasn't funny.
S: True, true.
W: But on a record it doesn't even make sense.
(after Happy Feet)

W: Eh, Stater?
S: Yah, what?
W: Is that it?
S: Yes, its over. How'd you like it?
W: I don't know, I slept through the whole thing.
S: Well, you didn't miss much.
(End of the tape)

I'd go to Muppets Hits Take 2, but I gotta leave something else easy to find for others. :-D

Devo

Woody: What's the story, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The Bobbsey Twins Go To The Brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

What were the 2 S&W moments at MuppetFest??

 

[Drtooth]

I'm not sure about those Fozzie, cuz I didn't go !!!

But here is one of my favorites.

S: What do you think of the Movie?

W: I've seen detergents that left a better film!

I actually yelled that aloud in a movie theater once!

 

[Fozzie Bear]

MUPPETFEST MUPPET SHOW LIVE QUOTES...

WALDORF
Say, Statler, do you think "The Muppet Show" will be any better live?

STATLER
At our age, it's good to be around anything live. (THEY LAUGH)

WALDORF
Well, at least it's only for one night.

STATLER
Year, but that's the same thing they told us 25 years ago…

STATLER/WALDORF
Ho-ho-ho!! (THEME SONG DRUM ROLL BEGINS) OH NO!!!!!!
**********************************************

MUSIC: DRUM ROLL (LIVE)
(FOLLOW SPOTS CHASE AROUND THE CURTAIN UNTIL THE FIND…)

WALDORF
You know, the second half of this show reminds me of Aspen.

STATLER
Why Aspen?

WALDORF
Cause it's all downhill from here!

(THEY LAUGH)