Muppet Fan-Fiction: Weddings Are Disastrous

[theprawncracker]

I would hug you and leave an excited review... but I don't have the energy. X_X At least think of this as a wonderful, well-written review that gives you nothing but praise, Prawnie.

~ AnimatedC

*sniff* That was beautiful. The most well written excited review I've ever seen.

Thanks Cait! (((HUGS)))

 

[The Count]

Huh? Are you sure you just didn't remember to put your socks on again?

 

[Muppetfan44]

Sorry I haven't commented earlier, but I loved the last two chapters.

Floyd's rendition of never before while Kermit and Piggy danced was great! So cute and romantic, what else could a girl ask for? And Kermit's comment about not sleeping much that night, loved it, totally on the edge of PG!

The bit with Frank was also great, but it kind of left me confused. What else was Piggy trying to say about Frank? Did it have to do with MTM? I hope that gets cleared up before the story ends

Fozzie's speech was asbolutely adorable, a perfect fit for Fozzie and the occasion. Very well-written!

Piggy loved her present! yay!

Totally loving it! Can't wait for more, so post more soon please!

 

[redBoobergurl]

SQUEEL! Just read the last two chapters and OMG FRANK! I loved the rest of it too, but FRANK! And Miss Piggy's reaction to the movie was priceless. Love it, hug it, squeeze it, WANT MORE, even though I know it's coming to the end. Then you have another one for us right?

 

[theprawncracker]

Then you have another one for us right?

Well duh...

But... not necessarily the third installment... *shifty eyes*

 

[RedPiggy]

That was so awesome.

 

[Muppetfan44]

Update?

Any Updates?

Totally in suspense on how the rest of the reception goes, and where they end up going on the honeymoon. Still a little confused on the frank appearance, but loved it just the same!

Please post more soon so I can have something interesting to read after working all Labor Day in the office!

Best wishes

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 32

The weary traveler stared down at the piece of human paper in his hands.

He would never understand why these silly creatures would ever think making their writing curly would make it easier to read. He shook his mustachioed head and grumbled. He stomped forward across the “street” in the evening light, his thin brown tail dusting the “road” beneath him.

The large moving creatures that drifted along the ground with large, bright lights beaming from their eyes were no longer intimidating to the explorer. He’d gotten used to the fact that they wouldn’t hit him—if he moved fast enough.

He still didn’t understand the stiff, unmoving red creatures that were about his height that adorned most of the corners. He figured they were just really tired, or only moved when no one was looking.

The short, furry creature wearing a pith helmet and a tan coat approached the door of the large building with a blinking red sign at the top of it. A bulky harsh looking brown creature with a wrinkled head that gave off a permanently confused look stood guarding the door.

“What is a cave monster doing here?” the explorer mumbled. “There is no cave here!”

“Hold it there little fella,” Bobo the Bear said to the fuzzy voyager. “Name please.”

The creature gasped. “You speak my language?” he asked in awe.

Bobo flipped through the papers on his clipboard and read through them. “Mmm… nope, no one with that name on here, heh heh, try again pal,” Bobo said.

“Traveling Matt Fraggle,” Traveling Matt Fraggle told the bear. “The first Fraggle in Outer Space!”

“Ooh-hoo,” Bobo said. “A celebrity, huh? Well, let me tell you bub, we’ve got lots of celebrities in there and I can’t just let anyone in, ya know. Let me see if you’re on the list.”

Bobo skimmed the list again. Traveling Matt looked around and stared at the door in front of him. He looked up at the massive creature. Matt trembled slightly, then made a break for the door, out of Bobo’s sight.

By the time Bobo looked up from his clipboard, Matt was long gone. “Huh,” he said, scratching his ear thoughtfully. “Musta realized he wasn’t on the list. Heh heh, but I found his name right here. Funny little guy. Ah well,” Bobo sighed contentedly as he sat down in the fold-away chair sitting outside the theater. He closed his eyes, leaned back, and started to hum a tune he made up as he went.

Matt Fraggle was, obviously, blown away by the inside of the theater he entered. Drooping red curtains adorned the back of the room and loud, colorful things flew through the air and the ground at a frightening pace.

A blue creature with a long, curved nose entered Matt’s personal bubble alarmingly. “Hi!” Gonzo the Great said excitedly.

Matt pulled back his face nervously. “Hello yourself,” he said.

“Welcome to the Kermit and Miss Piggy wedding reception! We don’t have any food, but we might have disease! Ha ha!” Gonzo laughed wildly.

Traveling Matt gulped. “Are you some breed of poison cackler?” Matt asked, examining the weirdo from head to toe.

Gonzo scratched his head. “I’m not really sure! What are you? A cat? A mouse maybe?”

Traveling Matt stood up straight and proud. “I am a Fraggle. The noblest of all creatures.”

“Cool!” Gonzo shouted. “I don’t think we have any nobility here,” he said. “B.B. King didn’t make it…”

“I don’t understand this,” Matt said. “What’s going on here anyway?”

“I told you,” Gonzo said, “the wedding reception for Kermit and Miss Piggy!”

“Are they Fraggles too?” Traveling Matt asked.

The whatever tilted his head to the side. “Are you from the union?”

“I have no idea,” Matt said.

“Must be from the union,” Gonzo muttered. “Uh, well, everything’s up to par here! Take a look around wherever you want…” Gonzo laughed nervously. He pushed the flustered Fraggle towards the middle of the theater.

Traveling Matt clenched his backpack straps tightly. He eyed the surroundings, visibly shaking, and wondered why he wandered into this horrific place.

“Oh yes,” he mumbled, “I was invited…”

Traveling Matt meandered carefully through the theater. Gonzo took this opportunity to pull Cookie Monster and Herry Monster aside and whispered closely to them. “Hey fellas, listen,” the weirdo said. “See that… thing over there?” Gonzo pointed towards Traveling Matt who was engaging in conversation with a seat cushion. “Think you can keep an eye on him?”

Cookie and Herry exchanged glances. “Me not sure,” Cookie Monster grunted. “Me eyes no stay in one place when me head move.”

“That’s a risk we’re going to have to take,” Gonzo said.

Herry nodded. “You got it, Gonzo,” he said. “C’mon Cookie Monster, this’ll be fun!”

Gonzo watched Traveling Matt as the two monsters went to spy on him. “Huh,” he said to himself. “We let so many weirdoes in this place.”

~-~-~-~-~

Floyd slammed his fingers down hard on his guitar strings to clench the last note beautifully. He laughed harmoniously into the microphone and nodded. “It’s all you Clifford,” the beatnik called offstage.

Clifford strolled onstage casually and slapped hands with the guitarist. “Hey, hey everybod-ay,” he said into the microphone. “Those of you with weak constitutions may wish to leave the theater, ‘cause—”

“There is no stronger constitution than that of the United States of America!” Sam Eagle declared proudly.

Clifford shook his head. “Any who,” he said, “this next song is way to cute for words, so try not to get sick. Ladies and gentlemen, Robin and Elmo.”

Clifford moved from the stage—but not before lowering the microphone stand as far down as it could go.

Robin and Elmo walked onstage together—both wearing the cutest little tuxedos money could buy. “Hi everybody,” Elmo said into the microphone, waving happily.

“Elmo and I would like to sing this song for Uncle Kermit and Miss—well, I guess it’s Aunt Miss Piggy now,” Robin said. The crowd chuckled and “aww”’d.

Elmo nodded. “Elmo is ready to sing; is Robin?” Elmo asked his little green froggy pal.

“Yup,” Robin nodded. “Happy wedding day Uncle Kermit, Aunt Piggy, we love you!”

On the dance floor below the stage, Kermit and Miss Piggy readied themselves for another dance with each other. They locked hands and stared into each others eyes and—

“May I cut in?”

“May I cut in as well?”

The newlyweds looked to both sides and realized they were surrounded by Mom and Dad the Frog.

“Like we can really so no?” Kermit asked with a smirk.

Kermit and Piggy broke away from each other and steadied themselves alongside Mom and Dad; respectively.

Dr. Teeth played lightly upon the ivories of his keyboard, opening the notes to the song and releasing them through the theater.

“When the mountain touches the valley,” Robin sang sweetly.
“All the clouds are taught to fly
Thus, our souls will leave this land
Most peacefully.”

“Though our minds
Be filled with questions
In our hearts we understand
When the river meets the sea.”

Floyd picked up the tune on his bass, and Janice followed in on lead guitar. Animal tapped in lightly on his cymbals.

Kermit and Mom and Miss Piggy and Dad swayed lightly to the tune.

“Like a flower that has blossomed,” Elmo continued the song.
“In the dry and baron sand
We are born, and born again
Most gracefully.”

“Thus the winds of time will take us
With a sure and steady hand
When the river meets the sea.”

Robin’s parents watched from the wings as their son carried on the song. They met each other’s eye-line once—and made sure not to do it again, even though afterwards they both smiled wistfully.

“Patience my brothers,” the cute duo harmonized.
“And patience my son
In that sweet and final hour
Truth and justice will be done.”

“Like a baby when it is sleeping,” Robin soloed.
“In its loving mother’s arms
What a new-born baby dreams
Is a mystery.”

“I love you mom,” Kermit whispered, his head no resting on his mother’s shoulder.

“I love you too Kermit,” Mom responded. “And I’m so very happy for you.”

“But his life will find a purpose
And in time he’ll understand
When the river meets the sea
When the river meets the almighty sea,” Elmo and Robin sang, holding the last note as the band finished the song.

Kermit held tight to his mom and she held right back. “You followed your star Kermit,” Mom whispered. “I knew it would lead you exactly where you needed to go.”

The groom smiled up at his mother and gently kissed her cheek. “Thank you mom—for everything.”

Miss Piggy and Dad the Frog moseyed over to where Kermit and Mom stood; Piggy was holding Dad’s hand with a huge smile on her face. “Kermie, vous didn’t tell moi your daddy was such a rubbery legged dancer,” Piggy said, sounding rather exhausted.

Kermit shrugged. “I can’t say I knew, honestly.”

Mom shimmied over and pulled Dad’s free hand into hers. “I did,” she said.

Miss Piggy released Dad’s hand and traded it for Kermit’s. “You kids will do just fine,” Dad said, looking them over carefully. “Just fine.”

“Thanks dad,” Kermit said.

“Thank you,” Miss Piggy said softly. “Dad.”

A huge grin swept over Dad’s face and he laughed heartily before he and mom took to the dance floor for the next song.

~-~-~-~-~

“Mee mo-mo-mo mee!”

“Hush Beaker! We are trying to be covert,” Bunsen chided his assistant.

Beaker muffled his meeping and tip-toed quietly behind Bunsen, a handheld vacuum cleaner in his… hand.

Beaker mumbled something in a whisper to Bunsen. Bunsen shook his melon-shaped head slowly. “No, no, he’s in here, I’m sure of it,” Dr. Honeydew insisted.

“Mee mee me mee mo?”

“I saw a floating buzz saw enter this dark storage closet,” Bunsen explained. “I knew it wasn’t one of our Muppet Labs Flying Shavers, so I decided to investigate.”

Beaker shuddered at the mentioning of the razor and clenched on to his bright orange hair protectively.

Something darted around a wall, knocking over a hat-rack.

Bunsen and Beaker’s heads turned quickly towards the source of the noise. “Quickly Beaker, turn on the suction!” Dr. Honeydew instructed Beaker, flapping his hands giddily in his assistant’s direction.

Beaker did as he was told and flipped the little switch to turn on the handheld vacuum.

Unfortunately for Beaker (duh), he was holding the Muppet Labs Handheld Super-Suction Sucker Designed for Sucking.

Beaker was dragged around the small storage space and collided with the wall, the invention sucking tightly against it.

“Bahaha!” Waldo laughed wildly as he morphed back into his normal form. “Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!” The 3-D bug transformed into a large tongue and blew it at Bunsen. “Nice try melon-head, but ya can’t catch me!”

Waldo returned back to himself and zipped out of storage in a streak of blue. Dr. Honeydew ran over to Beaker and flipped off the Sucker Designed for Sucking. “Stop it Beaker! Quickly! After him!” Bunsen shouted.

Beaker sighed heavily and followed Bunsen out towards the stage.

Waldo popped onto the stage during the middle of a speech from Camilla about the bride and groom and all they’ve done for chicken kind over the years. “Oh, sorry ma’am,” Waldo apologized. “Didn’t mean to interrupt!”

“Now, Beaker, now!” Dr. Honeydew shouted as he and Beaker appeared onstage just below Waldo.

Beaker reluctantly flipped the switch of the Sucker Designed for Sucking and held it above his head. It sucked so powerfully that it lifted him up from the stage floor and sent him flying right towards the unsuspecting Waldo at an alarming speed.

The blue bug disappeared inside the machine and Beaker crashed into the top of the stage, pulling in the crimson red curtains adorning the top of the theater, setting off a chain reaction and sending Beaker to suck up the rest of the curtains on the right side of the stage and making the hapless assistant crash through the stage floor into the basement of the theater.

Bunsen ran over to the new hole in the stage (as opposed to the old ones) and clapped happily. “Oh Beakie we did it! We caught him! Ho-ho how wonderful!”

Everyone in the theater stared at Dr. Honeydew, extremely confused. Bunsen nervously put the tips of his fingers against his mouth. “Umm… those curtains certainly needed to be replaced, wouldn’t you say?” Bunsen asked nervously.

Kermit scrunched up his face. “They do now,” he mumbled.

Camilla clucked loudly and strutted angrily over to the hole and chaos carried on as normal.

Kermit sighed happily and stretched his arm around Miss Piggy’s shoulders. “Some things never change,” he told her.

“Which is why we go on the honeymoon,” Piggy said before swigging a gulp of champagne.

Kermit nodded. “Exactly.”

 

[TogetherAgain]

HAAAAAAAAA! Oh those last three lines are BRILLIANT!

AND! PRAWNIE! PUT ME IN TEARS, WHY DON'TCHA! When the River Meets the Sea... Robin's PARENTS! OY! YOU! <GLOMP>

And and-- STAAAAAAAAR! <happy sorta whimper> THANK YOU MOM FOR EVERYTHING! And and and PIGGY called Dad, DAD! DUDE I TOTALLY GLOMP YOU! And the comments on Dad's dancing, Kermit didn't know, but MOM knew! <GRINS>

And and and BEAKER! BUNSEN! WALDO! CAMILLA! The curtains! OY PRAWNIE I LOVE YOU! ! !

Melikes and me wants MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

[Colbynfriends]

UNCLE MATT!
Oh my gosh, so unexpected! and Robin and Elmos duet. great.