When we last looked in on room 20, they were attempting to watch a cheery Christmas special together....
(Not quite half-way through the movie, Fozzie and Catherine are both sawing logs on their respective loveseats. Kermit and Piggy are left functionally alone, but Piggy continues to act as though Kermit is not there. After a few moments, Kermit and Piggy both reach for the popcorn. Their hands brush, and Piggy’s jerks away as though Kermit is on fire. After that, she makes a point of avoiding the popcorn. Kermit sighs, but a few minutes later when her hand reaches for the carrot sticks, he reaches out nonchalantly and they fumble fingers yet again. Piggy snatches her hand away, gives him a look that would melt steel at close range, and studiously avoids the carrot sticks. The next time Piggy reaches for a bowl—pretzels this time, Kermit puts his hands out at the last minute and Piggy retreats without even touching the bowl. Kermit is now enjoying himself. Because frogs are able to look in two completely different directions at the same time, he can keep an eye on Piggy without seeming to do so. Every time she makes a move toward food, he cuts her off at the pass. She will either acknowledge him, or go hungry. When he thwarts her attempts to cadge a chocolate, she bolts up out of her chair and glares at him.)
Piggy: I know what you’re doing, so stop it!
Kermit: Oh, so you’re speaking to me now?
Piggy: Back off! (She flops back into her chair, crosses her arms and glares at the television. To her complete surprise, Kermit hops up beside her and sits on the padded arm of her chair.)
Kermit: Piggy look—
Piggy: Get off my chair or so help me I will swat you into next—
Kermit: (defiantly) Go ahead! Swat away! It sure won’t be the first time, and it probably won’t be the last! If karate-chopping me into next week is what it takes to get you to talk to me, then have at it!
(Piggy draws her arm back and Kermit winces, waiting for the blow. It never comes. Piggy crosses her arms again and wedges herself as far back into the chair—away from him—as she can get.)
Piggy: (muttering) Not worth my bother.
Kermit: I’m not going away, Piggy.
Piggy: Then I’ll—
(Kermit reaches out and clasps her plump little forearms in his surprisingly strong grip, making her look at him.)
Kermit: No matter what, I am not going away. (His expression is earnest.) I know I said some things I shouldn’t have said. I—I was jealous, and surprised. I should have known you wouldn’t, um, kiss some other frog—not unless I gave you a reason, anyway. And I haven’t, Piggy. Frog scout’s honor.
(Piggy looks away. It is entirely possible that her eyes are wet, but her chin is high and she would not admit it if it were so.)
Piggy: (a little sulky) You were never a frog scout.
Kermit: (sheepishly) No, but I am courteous and helpful.
(This elicits a thin smile from Piggy, who tries to hide it, but Kermit scoots down into the chair beside her and takes her hands.)
Kermit: Look, Piggy. I may never have been a frog scout—in fact, there are lots of things I will never be—and the top of that list is that I will never be able to be happy when you’re mad at me.
Piggy: You hurt my feelings. I—I was embarrassed, and I felt so foolish. But the worst part of all was knowing that it wasn’t really you kissing me under the mistletoe. I wanted— (She stops herself and shakes her head.) It’s not important.
Kermit: Piggy? (When she doesn’t turn to look at him, he reaches up gently and turns her face back to his.) What do you mean it’s not important? You covered the whole ceiling with mistletoe! (He moves a little closer and she does not pull away.)
Piggy: (mumbling) There was a sale....
Kermit: Oh…a sale. (They are almost kissing now. When their lips are two centimeters apart, Fozzie makes a loud, contented snore and Kermit turns and looks over his shoulder. Without warning, Piggy puts one hand on the back of his neck, pulls him back to face her and gives him a kiss that makes the one she gave Robot Kermit look like a bad dress rehearsal. Once released, Kermit looks dazed and more than a little pleased.
Kermit: Wow, Piggy. That was…that was worth almost getting karate chopped for.
Piggy: (regaining some of her diva-like bearing) What did you expect?
Kermit: (honestly) I never know what to expect. That’s what makes it so much fun. (He reaches for the box of little chocolates and passes the box to Piggy.) Everybody else is asleep—why don’t we poke the bottoms of all of these so we know which ones are the good ones. (Piggy starts to giggle.)
Piggy: You are a lunatic.
Kermit: (settling an arm around his girl) You don’t have to be to live here, but it helps. You want a chocolate cream?
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