Leyla: Whew! Alright, everyone ready?
<They are gathered around the little Christmas tree, all of them... except Robot Kermit. All are dressed in their holiday best, with Robot Piggy particularly resplendant in a bright red, V-neck, knee length dress, embroidered with golden thread. It was borrowed from Miss Piggy. Her hair is pinned back, loosely draped over her shoulders and there is a sprig of mistletoe tucked beside her left ear. Robot Piggy remains entirely unaware that she has a winder sticking out of her back. Miss Piggy remains entirely unaware of the accommdating hole Leyla cut in the dress to allow Robot Piggy to wear it. She is not looking forward to either of them discovering these facts.>
Wanda: Oh yes, we're ready.
Hilda: <dryly> As ready as we'll ever be.
Robot Piggy: Moi looks stunning...let's get the show on the road already!
Robot Kermit: <faintly, pathetically, from his closet> Is it morning yet? Can I come out now? Please? I promise I'll be good.
Leyla: <apologetically> Oh, yes, Kermit dear... I'm sorry to keep you in there so long... we have a surprise for you, though!
RK: <giving new dimensions to the word pathetic> Is the surprise that you're not going to let me out, or that you are?
Leyla: Neither, neither! I mean, yes, I'm going to let you out, right this very-
<She is interrupted by a knock at the door>
Leyla: Oh dear... just another minute dear... <she answers the door, then calls out to Jimmy.> It's Bean, looking for you, Jimmy. Make it quick please... poor Kermit's been stuck in there for way too long as it is.
Hilda: <petulantly> well, if it hadn't taken soooo long for her royal highness here to get ready...
Robot Piggy: <coolly> Some of us believe in doing more than just
throwing on any old thing.
Leyla: That's enough of that, ladies. Besides... it's not Robot Piggy's fault that it took so long. We needed to cut- <she breaks off abruptly, flushing pink>
Wanda: Yeah, of course it's gonna take forever if you have to maneuver all that fabric over that big, wide-
<Robot Piggy takes this as you might expect>
RP: Hiiiii-yah! <She sends Wanda to the floor in a classily attired heap>
Hilda: <sotto voce to Jimmy> Wanda, before the end of the first day... who won the pool?
Jimmy: <turning from the door and pulling out a notebook> Ah, let's see here...hmm...we've got...looks like it were that Swedish fellow who does all that gobbledy gook with the cookin' called it. Women's work if you ask me-
Hilda: <firmly> I didn't.
Wanda: <groggily> Did I win the pool?
Hilda: No.
Wanda: Rats.
Hilda: Not them either. Chef won.
Robot Kermit: <hopefully> I think there's an air vent in here, maybe I can-
Leyla: No! No, no, I'm coming! <she gives up waiting for Jimmy to finish his conversation and races to the closet door, unlocking it and sliding it open.> There you go, Robot Kermit, free at last! Now, come and meet our new roommate,-
Jimmy: <triumphantly> Bean Bunny! Fer a whole month!
<Everyone in the room spins around to stare at Jimmy, who has tucked the notebook away and has a friendly armed draped over Bean>
Robot Kermit: <uncertainly> Well, this is ah... this is certainly a... surprise.
Leyla: <pale faced> Uh... <laughs nervously> Yes... a... surprise, heh.
Bean: Oh, isn't this SO cute! A surprise party to welcome my surprise! ME!Yippee! <He launches into the most painfully saccharine version of "All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth" imaginable.>
Robot Piggy: <having exhausted her tolerance for this about thirty seconds
before it started.> If that thing is staying, then moi am leaving!
Leyla: <hurriedly> He's not, he's not! I'm sorry, Bean I appreciate the offer but-
<Robot Kermit has caught sight of Robot Piggy>
RK: <quietly> Oh, hey there, Miss Piggy... uh... it sure is nice to... um... see you're feeling better enough to visit us.
Robot Piggy: <staring at him like he might vanish> Oh... it's you again... <wistfully> Still taken?
RK: <confused> Uh...um... <He steps forward, then stops>
RK:<brightly> Don't worry, I uh... there's no mistletoe, this time. I promise, I'll keep my hands to myself.
Robot Piggy: <sighs> Of course.
<Leyla and all the others are distracted with trying to part Jimmy and Bean... both are near tears at the thought of being separated.>
RK: Am... am I allowed to tell you, you look nice?
Robot Piggy: <brightening> Yes, if that's the best vous have got.
RK: <cautiously hopeful> You, uh... you look n...you look wonderful.
Robot Piggy: <preening> Why thank you, Kermie... vous look very handsome.
Robot Kermit: <clearly perplexed by her flirting> Uh, I- <he pauses, a light bulb coming on (for the record... not literally)> Oh... um, Miss Piggy, I'm not Kermit, I'm Robot Kermit. <wistfully> See? I'm not trying to trick you anymore.
Robot Piggy: <tilting her head> Robot Kermit? You're not the Kermit who belongs to Miss Piggy?
RK: <ruefully> Nope... I... I'm not yours...wish I were...<quickly> but I'm not!
Robot Piggy: <smiling very slowly> So, vous are Robot Kermie. Well, Robot Kermie... moi am Robot Piggy, and moi belongs to no one... and no one belongs to moi... yet.
RK: <processes that for a second> <excessively casually> Oh, really?
Robot Piggy: <not remotely casual> Oh... really.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Leyla: Jimmy, Bean... please, please stop crying. Listen, it's not that we don't like the idea of having you around, but there's only so much closet space and with Robot Piggy getting settled that's... that's not going to last long and- <They wail even louder>
Hilda: <firmly> Bean Bunny, stop that caterwauling this instant. It's not cute at all!
Bean: <startled> It's not?
Hilda: And Jimmy, settle down and I'll make you some hot chocolate.
Jimmy: <sniffling> With the little marshmellows?
Hilda: Yes... in fact, why don't we all have some hot chocolate. You can't live here, Bean, but perhaps you can visit.
Bean: Really?
Hilda: Maybe... we'll talk. Now into the kitchen, both of you. Wanda, will you grab a few mugs?
<Wanda leads the boys into the kitchen, Hilda and Leyla hang back for a second>
Leyla: <gratefully> Oh, bless you Hilda.
Hilda: Call it a Christmas present, why don't you?
Leyla:<visibly weary> Now I can finally introduce Robot-
<Hilda stops her with a gentle tug on her sleeve and nods towards where Robots Kermit and Piggy are talking. He reaches up suddenly and gives her mistletoe a playful little tweak.>
Robot Piggy: <smiling> Watch the hair, frog.
Hilda: They seemed to have introduced themselves.
Leyla: <slowly cheering up> So they have. I'll have to let Ru know how it went. I think... I think it's-
Hilda: It's a very merry Christmas day.
Leyla: Yeah... it sure is.
Hilda: <looking into the kitchen> Jimmy! You get away from that turkey! Back to work then.
Leyla: <eyeing the two lovebirds... though neither of them are, in fact, birds> Yep... they've got things well in hand out here. <They head into the kitchen>
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