MC - The Revival

[LinkiePie<3]

~backstage, post-Pigs in Space~

Link Hogthrob: *still sucking his thumb, then slicks his patch of hair when he notices the brunette pig*

Raquel Porkbelly: *staring in her makeup mirror, fluttering her eyelashes; spotting Link from behind* How did you do, Link? <3

Link Hogthrob: Huh?

Raquel Porkbelly: I said how do you do?

Link Hogthrob: You mean how did I do? Good question, my dear: Always.

Raquel Porkbelly: ...always...?

Link Hogthrob: I may be no Marlon Brando, but I'm always fantasic.

Raquel Porkbelly: Original. -.-

Link Hogthrob: Never heard of it-- Anyway, want to come up to my dressing room, and kissy-kissy? *cheesy grin* <3

Raquel Porkbelly: But I have to get ready for the closing number, I have to meet up with the other chorus girls, soon. I'm already changed, though. So--

Link Hogthrob: *hoists Rocky up*

Raquel Porkbelly: But I--

~Link accidently drops her to the ground; a loud crash is heard~

Raquel Porkbelly: X_X

Kermit: Is everything okay, Link?

Link Hogthrob: Why not? She's just... taking a little nap. *shrugs*

Kermit: ...

Link Hogthrob: *goes up to his dressing room*

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

Nice show so far. But you guys left out the "sitck it in your pointy ear" line. Oh well.

Hey Gonzo, can I keep the light saber?

Gonzo: Uh, I think we have to give them back, they're props.

Awwww

Gonzo: I know, right!

Maybe we could just feign ignorance until someone tells us otherwise

Gonzo: Good idea.

Scooter: You guys have to give those back..

Me and Gonzo: Darn it!

(I really wish I was better at writing stuff for this)

 

[beakerboy12]

Kermit the Frog: Okay, we've got two sketches left before the closing number! We better make this big!

*commercial break*

Jim Carrey: Okay, let's see... Anyone from the studio audience wanna come up!

*Beakerboy and Gonzo's Hobbit look at each other and rush to empty seats in the audience*

Us! Us!

Jim Carrey: Ah, Beakerboy, GH!

LinkiePie<3: Hey! What about me!

C'mon up, Linkie!

Jim Carrey: Alright! Now guys, this is a magic act!

LinkiePie: Wait, I thought you were a comedian!

Jim Carrey: Well, I am, but I'm doing a magic act today! So, I want you to stick your hand into my top hat, GH!

*Gonzo's Hobbit reaches in and pulls out Oscar the Grouch*

Oscar the Grouch: Hey, will you keep it down! I'm givin' Fluffy a bath!

*Oscar goes back into the hat*

Gonzo's Hobbit: Wow!

Jim Carrey: Now for something advanced! I want you to... pick a card!

LinkiePie: Okay...

Memorize it and put it back into the deck... Now close your eyes...

*seconds later LinkiePie turns into the card she had*

Jim Carrey: Is this your card?

LinkiePie: Queen of Diamonds... Yep!

Jim Carrey: Now, I'm going to need... the frog's assistance!

*Jim drags Kermit onstage*

Kermit the Frog: Wait, what's going on now?

Jim Carrey: Now relax and, uh... hold this egg for me!

*gives Kermit egg*

Jim Carrey: Now close your eyes and say the words "Muppet Tuppet Thumpit Lumpit Stumpit!"

Kermit the Frog: "Muppet, Tuppet, Thumpit, Lumpit, Stumpit"

Jim Carrey: Now open your eyes...

*Kermit then is a human*

LinkiePie: Now this is weird...

And random...

Jim Carrey: ...And on DVD in the gift shop for only $19.95! Buy it now!

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

So, dumb question, should you turn Kermit back into a frog now?

Jim Carrey: Uh, I haven't learned that trick yet.

 

[rowlfy662]

*looking from backstage*

this is not good kermit is a human if only there was a magician that could turn back to normal

*smoke*

mumford: have no fear the amazing mumford is here i shall turn him to normal

how

mumford: by saying the spell A la peanut butter sandwiches

*smoke*

mumford: and as you can see kermit is a

duck

mumford: no no no he's a frog

*mumford looks over*

mumford: oh he is a duck oh well i tried and now i shall dissapear*smoke*

 

[beakerboy12]

*Mumford reappears*

The Amazing Mumford: Y'know! I could try again! Ah, it's simple... A la peanut butter sandwiches!

*Kermit is then turned into a peanut butter sandwich*

The Amazing Mumford: Uh-oh...

*Mumford disappears*

*onstage*

Scooter: Ladies & gentleman, Johnny Depp!

Johnny Deppt: When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation
My father said "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy why not consider a more challenging career"

Everyone : Hey ho ho
You'll cruise to foreign shores
And you'll keep your mind and body sound
By working out of doors

Johnny Depp: True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without

Everyone: And when you're a professional pirate

Polly Lobster: That's what the job's about!

Johnny Depp: Upstage, lads, this is my ONLY number!
Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him
But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him
It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood

Everyone: Hey ho ho
We're honorable men
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten

Johnny Depp: On occasion there may be someone you have to execute

Everyone: But when your a professional pirate

Grover *in pirate outfit*: You don't have to wear a suit..... what?

Crazy Harry *in pirate outfit*: I could have been a surgeon
I like taking things apart!

Floyd Pepper *in pirate outfit*: I could have been a lawyer
But I just had too much heart

Johnny Fiama *in pirate outfit*: I could have been in politics
Cause I've always been a big spender

Marlon Brando Muppet *in suit*: And me...I could have been a contender

Johnny Depp: Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet

Everyone: Hey ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're gentlemen of fotune and that's what we're proud to be
And when your a professional pirate

Johnny Depp: You'll be honest brave and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
And most importantly

Everyone: When you're a professional pirate
You're always in the best of company!

*audience applauds*

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

(side note I reeeaally wanna watch Johny Depp as Jack Sparrow sing that sometime)

Oh! Maybe the Wizard of Fraggle Rock could change him back.

: I dunno Wembley, that guy's kinda shady.

Do we have any other options?

Good point

Wizard of Fraggle Rock:
There's a story going round,
And it started long ago,
And everyone keeps telling it,
In places high and low.

And because my heart is weary,
I really want to know,
Is it true what they say, is it true?

GH
Is it true there is magic,
That we have never known?
Is it true there are powers,
That we can call our own?
Is it true there is someone,
Whose wonders stand alone?
Is it true what they say, is it true?

Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not because they told me so.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not because the story's old.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not until you really know.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not until you feel it grow.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Now I see it with my eyes.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Now I've see the glory rise.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Now I know the reason why.
Everyone
Is it true?

Beakerboy
Is it true that the doubters,
Say that they believe?
Is it true that the skeptics finally receive?
For a heart that is weary,
It matters through and through.
Is it true what they say,
Is it true?

Linkie and Rowlfy
But, I know when I wander with an achin' in my heart,
We been waitin' round and hopin',
For the magic time to start.
And now there's no more waitin',
Good news for me and you,
'Cause it's true, yes it's true, yes it's true.


Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not because they told me so.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not because the story's old.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not until you really know.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Not until you feel it grow.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Now I see it with my eyes.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Now I've see the glory rise.
Everyone
Is it true?
Wizard
Now I know the reason why.
Everyone
Is it true?

Kermit: *slaps forehead*

 

[rowlfy662]

*backstage*

scooter:wonderful number

count: was it one two three four

scooter: cue muppet sports

count: i like five maybe six
*on stage*

announcer:its time for the weird and wacky world of muppets sports

louis kazzager: welcome to a celebrity muppet sports and todays competition is peanut butter throwing tournment first to throw is Jim carrey

*Jim carrey throws peanut butter sandwich*

louis kazzager: its 60 yards next to throw is Johnny Depp

*throws peanut butter sandwich*

louis kazzager:its went 51 yards so close next is special guest thrower tv puppet ALF

*he throws*

louis kazzager: he's thrown it 70 yards he's winning not bad for a puppet

ALF: i'am not saying anything

louis kazzager: and tonights final guest thrower is

*screams*

pee wee herman: thats today's secret word

louis kazzager: *facepalm* you got to be kidding

*he throws*

louis kazzager: its 80 yards felt like he threw it past France

globey: thats over here*points to france*

louis kazzager*facepalm* anyway pee wee herman is the champ

*screams*

louis kazzager:*sigh*

*backstage*

wait a minute kermit peanut butter sandwich oh no

*commercial break*

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

So, now we have to sort through all these peanut butter sandwiches to find Kermit? How does anyone propose we do that?

We coule make a special scanner to find him.

Will it work?

...maybe

 

[LinkiePie<3]

~Angie dives into the heap of PB&J sandwiches~ :B

PB&J Kermit: ...