One of my favorite jokes of all time (**with some language):
"Because of my father, between the ages of seven and fifteen, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! [mimics his father yelling angrily] 'JESUS CHRIST!!!'
And my brother Russell thought his name was D@mmit. [yells again] 'D@mmit, will you stop all that noise? Jesus Christ, SIT DOWN!!!'
So one day I'm out playing in the rain, and my father said, 'D@mmit, will you get in here?' I said, 'Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!'"