One Shots, Parodies, & Trailers!

[Misskermie]

Well there's no difference from myself much. I am 21! If you think I'm older than Jaz, then again, I don't care about how old I am. I care that I am a girl just like Jaz.

Otherwise the Orpah section w/ the Muppets sounds like the stories might be serious. If it's a trailer, then it's probably a work-in progress.

You're 21?!

 

[Twisted Tails]

You're 21?!

Duh! Yeah that's my age and it's true, not a lie.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Guten evening, Mup Cen. So, as some of you know, I has returned. And of course, I have stories to update and will, but in the meantime, I have a question and this being the 'Gina has many ideas' thread, I thought I'd ask it here.

So for some reason, I was trying to think what story was next in the Monday series (cause today is Monday and it felt weird not having something to post) and I realize that the next story is entitled "Accident on Monday" and as you can guess, there is some sort of accident.

The original idea, or rather, the original person suffering the 'accident' had been Gonzo, but watching an episode of HIMYM, I switched it to Fozzie. Now however, after watching an episode of Fraiser, the idea is back to Gonzo. Now before you ask, no Gonzo nor Fozzie nor anyone is dying. no one dies here!

So, I'm back on Gonzo again. Oh and...now it's Fozzie.

Okay, so I'm asking you guys - in the case that either one of these guys were to be in a serious incident, which one would pull your heart strings? Fozzie? or Gonzo?

I don't like either option!

I know you don't, but you remember why I set it up like this.

I'm with the bear on this, though your original idea did have merit.

Yes it did, but again, there was a reason. And you know, I did think about Scooter in that.

why are you bringing me into this? I already have a sad story!

Hence why I didn't consider you.

Okay...discuss!

 

[Misskermie]

Well, being who I am, Fozzie would make me want a billion Teddy Bears if he was in some sort of accident.
seriously.
Only because Gonzo likes pain.


: Jaaaaaz!


IM SORRY, OK?

 

[WebMistressGina]

So, the first time I heard about the possible wedding in MMW, I came up with this idea, however now seeing the actual dress that may make an appearance, I had to go ahead and update the one shots here. Sadly, I had a second one of these, but I stupidly can't remember the exact dialogue, but if it comes back to me, you bet I'll actually write it down.


Muppets Most Wanted - Possible


The chapel was lovely and it certainly looked to be a perfect day for a wedding. This was just a scene, she knew that, but it never stopped the butterflies and excitement that happened whenever they rehearsed it.

Once upon a time, Piggy had sworn she would never do this again, unless it was real and by real, she meant the whole shebang – real church, real priest, real wedding, no ifs, ands, or buts. After the disaster of their last ‘wedding’, which seemed to be the lynch pin of their previous doomed partnership, the leading lady swore she wouldn’t put herself into that position ever again.

But as with anything and everything that involved one Kermit the Frog, Piggy was always weak for the green director and after their episode with having two Kermits – one good, one evil – she couldn’t help but give in to his suggestion that they try to lessen the damage by giving the fans what they really wanted to see, what they had wanted to see for decades – a royal wedding, something on par with any ordinary Hollywood wedding, but done only the way the Muppets could.

So once more, Miss Piggy found herself dressed as the queen of the ball, her lovely white dress pressed and styled just the way she had imagined a real wedding dress to be; her hair pinned up to frame her face and to hold the veil that sat on her head. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, especially considering this was just a scene, like ones she had done for years; she loved the camera and the camera loved her, no doubt, so why did she seem to get this feeling of nervous energy?

Oh, she knew why – she was getting married and it didn’t matter if it had been real or fake, she was still marrying Kermit and it had been all she had truly wanted since meeting him at that county fair forever and a day ago. It didn’t matter how many times her head repeated that this was just a scene in a movie, something that would yes, be preserved forever – or as long as digital film was still a thing – her heart always gave a flutter of hope; that little kernel of a dream that was actually coming true.

Shaking herself into diva, leading lady, and star, Piggy took one last look in the mirror and got ready for one of her most enjoyed and hated performance she ever did.


[hr]


This was it and it was everything she both loved and despised about doing these kinds of things. On either side of the aisle were their friends, their family, as all eyes were on her as she made her way towards the front of the chapel.

If there had ever been a more perfect day for this, Kermit certainly knew it was this one and he had planned accordingly. With their recent adventure in Europe, the frog had decided that the perfect way to end this movie was with a wedding in her favorite city – Paris, France. It had been her dream to go to Paris and to be married in the city and after their blow up the first time, it became her retreat and sanctuary, a place where she knew he wouldn’t come after her and one where no one would think to look.

Maybe it had been obvious, but she hadn’t been bothered while she lived and worked there, at least not until the frog and the crazies came bursting into her office, asking her to come back in order to save the studios. Until today, Piggy didn’t think this day would ever come really and while in reality, this was just a run through of a scene that was being shot for others to enjoy and bask in, a small part of her was a little sad at the fact that this was not real.

Stomping down on any feeling that didn’t portray happiness and elation, Piggy focused all of her energy and staring at the frog who waited for her at the front. Kermit always did make a cutting figure when he was dressed to impress; as much as he complained and whined about having to be dressed in a tux, he never the less always made sure he looked good in one. Standing up there with him were his best men, best friends since their first initial meeting all those years ago, friendships that wouldn’t have formed if not for some unusual circumstances.

Comic catastrophe Fozzie Bear looked so very adultish when he dressed for success, though he still managed to maintain his childish and young at heart outlook towards life. From the start, the bear had made it his duty to be the best bear friend a frog could have, never questioning Kermit or his decisions and always having the frog’s back.

The Great Gonzo, on the other, had no qualms in telling Kermit where he had gone wrong, especially in terms of his love life. The blue weirdo had initially been a rival for Piggy’s affection, something that was more of a competition in his mind than anything else, despite the fact that he had indeed held feelings for the diva. But Gonzo had also been a good friend, one who was well aware that his friends were made for each other, hence the reason he stood as second groomsmen.

Wait, what?

As soon as Piggy reached the stuntman, her face contorted in confusion. “Gonzo?” she whispered, urgently. “What’re you doing?”

“Standing here,” came the response, as though she had just asked how his day was going.

Continuing up to stand next to Kermit, Piggy looked back at the weirdo before looking at the frog. Per their agreement and to partially make up for their first wedding switch, both Kermit and Piggy had agreed, shook hands, and even signed a contract stating that Gonzo would definitely be playing the priest for this scene. So to see him standing in a place where a priest would not be standing was completely perplexing.

“Wasn’t Gonzo supposed to be playing the priest?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Kermit murmured, shrugging his shoulders. “I just wasn’t feeling it, so I made a last minute character change.”

It was at this point that Piggy turned and found that Gonzo’s part had been replaced by a younger man with sandy hair and a matching thin beard, completely dressed in the uniform of a priest. This wouldn’t have been an issue if Piggy knew who the man was; a good majority of their movies and scenes were always with folks they knew or whom they had worked with. Piggy had never worked with this guy before.

In fact…

Piggy looked around her surroundings, so busy enjoying the scenery of the church and the nervousness of the scene, the diva had missed the clear signs that something was amiss. It was here that Piggy realized that while the majority of their audience was clearly their friends and family, the entire wedding was supplied with folks who were friends and family. When they had done the first wedding, it made sense for them to fill the seats with folks who had been in the movie with them or who had been friends with them from the start.

As far as Piggy knew, this scene was supposed to be a small wedding, something that was only going to be confined to the general group of Muppets, but the church seemed to be filled with tons of people – the others, their friends, celebrities like Neil Patrick Harris, Ricky Gervais, Kathy Griffin, and Lady Gaga, and even the folks from Sesame Street.

Turning back to her soon to be husband, Piggy asked, “Is this a real wedding?”

“Well, I don’t know, Piggy,” he said, earnestly. “Do you…want it…to be a real wedding?”

Turning slowly towards the front where the priest stood, Piggy leaned towards him and asked, “Are you a real priest?”

The priest nodded, smiling happily at the couple. Like many there, he was a fan of the couple and was pleased as punch to be performing at this ceremony.

“Is he?”

That was directed at Scooter Grosse, who was serving as her Muppet of Honor. There was probably no one closer to Piggy – other than Kermit – than that of Andrew Grosse; no one had schemed more, planned more, and devised more than she and Scooter did when it came to getting her married to Kermit. There was no other person she would have asked to stand up with her.

And there was no other person Kermit trusted more with finding the right person for this nor for making sure that the right people were seated in the seats, with the right people standing where they needed to be.

Smiling at the diva, Scooter replied, “Please. In all the years you’ve known me, don’t you think I know how to find a priest on a moment’s notice?”

The priest waited a few seconds before he began his introduction to the ceremony, his words conveying what everyone in the church felt in regards to the couple at the front finally taking the steps that everyone knew they would make eventually.

“Real smooth, Frog,” Piggy murmured, throwing him a look. “You know it’s rude to invite a girl to a wedding and not tell her about it.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Kermit whispered. “Did you not want to get married today?”

“Well, what if I had plans?”

“Oh well, in that case…”

Kermit began to raise his arm, a signal to the priest to stop the whole thing, but Piggy managed to grab it and bring it down by her side.

“I can reschedule!”

The action still managed to distract the priest for a second, who looked at the two, wondering if there was any time of dispute that needed addressing. The two smiled widely at them, their hands intertwined by their side, a sign – to him anyway – that they were committed to having a life together.

The priest continued his presentation, speaking about love and devotion in terms of bringing people together, keeping them together regardless of adversity.

“Bet you don’t even have the rings.”

Kermit motioned for Fozzie to show the ring, the one that had been keeping a close tab on for months now, holding on to a secret that was driving him crazy until he had gotten to this day. And it was a very nice ring, a very nice ring.

“Oh.”

“Like it?”

“It’s nice,” she murmured, a little bit of surprise creeping into her voice. “It’s very nice.”

“Consider it your early birthday present.”

The priest continued his speech, but it was clear he was about to get into the heart of the matter and that was getting to the words that would join the pig and frog in holy matrimony.

“You haven’t even asked me.”

“You’re right.”

“For many of us here,” the priest continued. “This day has been a long time coming and one that we, as Kermit and Piggy’s friends and family, have waited for and are proud to be witness to today. Kermit, Piggy, we are here to witness the confirmation of a love and relationship we have known about and seen for many years. Your love for each other has been as clear as the sky, as warm as a summer’s day, as…”

“Hey Piggy?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you marry me?”

Piggy opened her mouth to respond, but quickly kept her cool as the priest droned on and on. In all honesty, the question had literally stunned her. So sure she would never hear the question at all, hearing it now – though, in the middle of the actual ceremony – was a literal thrill. It didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to milk this for everything.

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“Think fast.”

“Piggy, do you…?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed, answering the previous question from her frog in regards to marrying him, but now inexplicably answering the question that would make her his wife.

“Settle down there, tiger,” Kermit joked, causing the others to laugh as well.

Piggy chuckled good naturedly, though she did squeeze the flipper that was still slipped in hers. “Moi is so happy,” she responded. “Got a little excited.”

“Save that for the honeymoon,” Gonzo quipped, causing the room to laugh once again.

“Shut up,” the diva retorted, though it was covered up by the smile on her face. Looking at Kermit with a mock glare, she whispered, “You’re going to pay for this.”


“You know I always give back change”

 

[WebMistressGina]

Ok, gonna go three for three tonight!

So, if you've been reading my stuff - specifically the Pool Hall series - you know that I like including some text messaging that might happen. Well, if any of you have heard of DYAC, then you'll know that smartphones are sometimes not so smart and as I am on DYAC, I thought I'd share some Muppet faux pas of texting.

Some of these are based on some real DYAC texts, some I totally made up.


DYAC

Scooter: Hey sweetness! Could you stop by the store and get me pregnant?

Mandy: 0.o I think that should be the other way around, but certainly if you want to be a trend setter…

Scooter: What the? Google, you know better! Prego! As in the sauce!
Mandy: lol. I was thinking of brining sweets. I just pregnanted the oven.
Scooter: lol Vindication is mine!
Mandy: Oh for the love of…!
Scooter: We’re going to be very busy.
Mandy: Where do you get this we from? I’m the one getting people and things pregnant.
Scooter: Fine. You stay with the oven, I’ll go pregnate the store.

Gonzo: Hey Red, I cut short lunch today, so there’s a Gandalf sandwich in the fridge if you want it.
Scooter: Of course I want a Gandalf sandwich! With mayo or mustard?
Gonzo: You’ve got to be kidding. That’s supposed to say half a sandwich.
Scooter: Was it made with a sprinkle of Hobbit?
Gonzo: Shut it.

Kermit: Hey, just found out that Bernard – member him – is celebrating his sex change.
Piggy: are you absolutely sure that’s what you meant to say?
Kermit: What the? Why would the phone do that??
Piggy: I don’t know and as soon as I stop laughing, I’m going to call you to find out what you’re talking about.

Rowlf: Wanna grab a bear tonight?
Gonzo: Well, it has been some time since we’ve kidnapped Fozzie…
Rowlf: Beer. This phone…and when did we last kidnap Fozzie?
Gonzo: It’s been a while, I told you that.

Piggy: 6pm sharp, Andrew. Be there or be Sasquatch.
Scooter: Well, I can most definitely be there, but it’s gonna take me a while to find a Sasquatch.
Piggy: what the heck are we paying you for then? lol
Scooter: Apparently my role has been moved from manager to monster hunter.

Mandy: Thank you so much for dinner last night. :x
Scooter: NP. You’re worth it. I thank Godzilla every day that I met you.
Mandy: lol well both I and Tokyo appreciate the sentiment.
Scooter: You know Tokyo doesn’t.

Kermit: We’ve got all the things for the party and I think Jani made Chilean salad.
Gonzo: 0.0 0.0 0.o Huh, that…doesn’t sound like her. What the heck did they do to wind up in a salad?
Kermit: What? Or for pickles sack! Children salad.
Gonzo: Frog, this is getting worse and worse.
Kermit: This is why I didn’t want a smile phone, Godzilla.
Gonzo: I’ve never been to Tokyo and they’re lying if they say I have! Okay, so once I stop laughing and crying, I’m just going to call you. I figure I’ll be able to find out if I have to call the police or something.

Robbie: Hey, my aunt’s making a big feast tonight. Wanna come?
Macy: What’s she making?
Robbie: Sharks, green beans, and mashed pirates.
Macy:…
Robbie: Wait! OMG! Steak and mashed potatoes!
Macy: Was a little worried about that. lol
Robbie: I’m not even sure where she’d be getting sharks and pirates from.
Macy: Maybe there’s a war between sharks and pirates.
Robbie: LOL

Gonzo: Hey Princess, what’s good with a salad?
Piggy: baby jesus
Gonzo: Um….
Piggy: Pablo bunny
Gonzo: I see. Should I call a doctor or something?
Piggy: I swear I can’t leave my phone unlocked. You can thank my purse for that.
Gonzo: Well, your purse is crazy. It’s trying to eat baby Jesus and some rabbit named Pablo.
Piggy: After I answer your question, I’ll notify them immediately of the danger. Now explain.

Piggy: Miss you L
Kermit: I know, sweat pores, but you know you’re the only grill for me.
Piggy: I will figure out that hot mess in a second, but if this was from anyone else…
Kermit: I so donut mountain to truffle fat!
Piggy: Your sweet words only prove that you should just not text anymore. Though we all agree, they are the highlight and entertainment of our day.

Scooter: Hey Robbie, we’re gonna need to meet so I can tell you about the homosexual routine.
Robin: 0.o Not sure I want to have that talk, however if YOU need to tell me something, I am more than happy to sit down and talk with you.
Scooter: Dog it, Goggles! I’m not gay! And I certainly don’t want to spark to Robbles about that socket taz.
Scooter: I don’t even know what that means.
Robin: I don’t care cause I’m laughing so hard!
Scooter: So going on DYAC.
Robin: Godzilla, yes!

Chat Session –
Scooter: So, any ideas?
Piggy: I still like the idea of Peru.
Gonzo: Yeah! We should so see Machu Pikachu!
Gonzo: Wait. No…
Scooter: Not sure I want to do that.
Piggy: You know how those Peru pokemons gather together.
Scooter: That’s all we need.
Gonzo: Pikachu’s one of the good ones, right? Scooter, which Pokemons were the good ones?
Scooter: I donut. I wasn’t a fan of pokey makers.
Piggy: LOL OMG, please stop!
Gonzo: Not Gumby too!

Scooter: And this is why I wanted to go with Denver or Phoenix.

 

[The Count]

Goth, I can't press "Like" on that entire DYAC bit enough. ROTFLMAO!

If "Robbie" was Robin, who's Macy? Don't think we've been introduced to her in the Pool Hall series or your other fics yet.
All Pokemon are good ones Gonzo—except for Giovanni Rocket's mystery creature—it just depends on the person who's their trainer/owner whether they're used to fight for good or evil. *Coughfancough. *CoughtalktoRedPiggycough.

Don't know what DYAC is, but it reminds sooo much of the bit by Gabriel Iglesias that I love where he reveals that his iphone lied to his girlfriend for him, saying he went to Cinnabun instead of Cine Bar.

Thanks for a right good laugh first thing in the morning.

 

[TheWeirdoGirl]

Love, love, love these. I suspected that the wedding was going to be more than "just a scene." And I repeat Count's question, who is this Macy? I would have remembered her, seeing as my name also happens to be Macy.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Goth, I can't press "Like" on that entire DYAC bit enough. ROTFLMAO!

If "Robbie" was Robin, who's Macy? Don't think we've been introduced to her in the Pool Hall series or your other fics yet.

Glad you liked it! Macy is just a filler name; needed a girl for Robin to text and that's the name I came up with. Maybe she'll make an appearance somewhere.

Don't know what DYAC is, but it reminds sooo much of the bit by Gabriel Iglesias that I love where he reveals that his iphone lied to his girlfriend for him, saying he went to Cinnabun instead of Cine Bar.

You've never heard of D*** You Auto Correct??

Well, it's basically Fluffy's skit times a million. Basically, it's a site for people to post the times their smartphones go awry by auto correcting their text. Usually, it's supposed to help with the grammar, but often as you can see from both my made up and covers of some posts, that's not always the case.

Love, love, love these. I suspected that the wedding was going to be more than "just a scene." And I repeat Count's question, who is this Macy? I would have remembered her, seeing as my name also happens to be Macy.

Again, Macy was just a filler name, no one I've introduced yet, but now... *shrugs* who knows?

 

[WebMistressGina]

So guess what idea came back to me as I waited for Windows to update itself? That second Muppet Most Wanted scene! So this one came about cause of a part in the 'Two Women, One Frog' trailer - there's a scene where Kermit states he loves someone and I can only guess (one month before the movie) that the person he's saying it to is obviously Piggy and I'm guessing it's near the end of the movie after the fake Kermit has been found out.

And my brain came up with this! I of course am under the impression that a true, true wedding is taking place here, but I certainly don't think a proposal between our power couple would be like, a normal one...


MMW #2


Kermit stood in shock at the revelation; did she really think he would suddenly fall for someone else? Especially when that someone had literally locked him up in a maximum criminal facility? In any other instance, this would probably make him lose his cool, but he wasn’t going to this time because in all honesty, he wasn’t about to do something that would make him lose her again.

“I love you,” he emphasized. “I have always loved you, Piggy; it’s always been you even when I didn’t want it to be.”

“Careful, Frog,” she quipped. “That almost sounded like compliment.”

So she was going to play hardball, huh? He guessed he could give her that, seeing as she had thought he had been safe and sound with them, when in reality they had been hanging around with an imposter. One they had apparently been enjoying spending their time with, especially Piggy. And as was the case whenever he had to deal with the leading lady, Kermit’s appreciation of her quickly turned as he realized she had been quite happy with the imposter.

“You know what, Piggy?” he growled, thinking things over and growing increasingly angrier by the second. “At least I stayed faithful…”

“I was faithful!”

“Yes,” he deadpanned. “I could see that as you traversed around Europe with another frog.”

“I thought he was you!” she exclaimed. Gesturing to the quartet that stood nearby listening to the entire conversation, she continued with, “We all thought he was you! Are you seriously going to fault me for thinking that you could have possibly been more thoughtful, more compassionate, more passionate, more romantic?”

Passionate? Compassionate? The images those words brought to his mind did little in calming him down. “Are you implying that the reason for your confusion is because he was more romantic than I am?”

“No implying necessary,” Piggy retorted. “I’m saying it straight out.”

“Fine!” He huffed, the tight control on his already heightened fuse nearing the breaking point. “Fine, Piggy, if you love him so much, why don’t you marry him then?”

“Might as well,” she spat. “Heaven knows you aren’t planning on asking any time soon.”

“Shows what you know!” he shouted. “I had made plans to ask you right here, but now I’m not going to!”

“Fat chance!” she countered. “The day you ask me to marry you, Frog, is the day I proclaim myself the queen of Turkey!”

“Well, this isn’t going to bode well,” muttered Fozzie. While he always thought the two to be a great couple, when they got along, he still could not understand what either of them saw in the other, especially in cases like this.

“Turkey!?” Kermit shouted. “That’s what you’ve got? I think spending time with an international jewel thief has spun your mind the wrong way.”

“Maybe it wasn’t his profession that spun me,” Piggy growled. “And just so you know, being an international jewel thief is cool and spontaneous.”

“And you would know?”

“I know you wouldn’t know spontaneity if it slapped you in the face.”

“And here’s where it’s gonna get rough,” muttered Gonzo.

“Hey guys,” Walter placated, looking between the two. “Don’t fight. Everything’s all okay now.”

“You wanna see spontaneity?”

“Nothing you could do, Frog, would surprise me in the least.”

“Oh yeah?” Kermit said, taking a step towards her. “Then marry me. Today, right now.”

That…actually did surprise her and it took a few seconds before her mind caught up to what she thought she had heard. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“No, I don’t think I did,” she responded, taking a step closer.

“Even a marriage proposal between them is an argument,” Walter said, eyes wide and mouth opened in shock.

“And this surprises you because…” Gonzo said.

“You get used to it,” Scooter replied, his eyes and focus on the tablet he held in his hand the entire argument. He had been busy checking email, just waiting for the storm to die down, but now he was checking churches and priests and which ones could perform a ceremony in the next hour or two.

“Besides,” Fozzie piped up. “We’re just happy they haven’t killed each other.”


“Yet,” muttered the weirdo.


And that's as far as I got. There was some other stuff, but I can't remember what it was. Sawry. But hey, new Mup movie in like a month and I'm down to see it in theaters this time.