And here's the finish to our Trapped in a Closet parody!
“Thanks a lot, Gonzo!”
“Okay, listen,” Kermit interrupted, knowing a fight when he heard one. “Let’s not panic or anything.”
“Right,” Gonzo nodded. “Besides, Scooter’s here and he’s got a big brain…”
“Duh,” agreed Piggy.
“So?” the weirdo said, indicating the younger Muppet. “Get to it, Hoss.”
“Are you serious?” the page asked, incredulously. “I’m a manager, not a robot! And if you so much as think that you’re going to use me as some sort of handyman, fixer of doors…”
“I’ll up your pay by twenty bucks,” Kermit murmured.
“…then I’m going to need a screwdriver,” the Muppet finished. “Preferably a flat head.”
“Where are we going to find a screwdriver in a supply closet, MacGyver?” Piggy huffed.
Scooter glared at her. “I’m sure you have a nail file on your person there, Rambo,” he retorted. “Unless you have something more heavy duty that even the frog hasn’t found.”
“I’m about to lower that raise of yours,” the frog muttered.
With tensions reaching new heights, Rizzo thought it was a perfect time to emerge from his ‘nap’. Muttering to himself about uppity shrimp, the rat managed to get to his feet, surprised to see that Kermit and Piggy had joined their little group. It of course was nothing in comparison to the fact that he was now standing and Pepe wasn’t.
“Yeah!” he warbled. “That’s right, punk! Mama didn’t raise no fool. Fool!” Looking around, he nodded to the new arrivals. “Guys, Princess. Nice of you all to join us in our supply closet of doom.”
“No worries, Rizzo buddy,” Gonzo replied. “Scooter’s gonna get us out.”
“How?”
Pointing a thumb at Piggy, the stuntman said, “Pigbo here keeps a pretty handy switchblade of awesome somewhere on her person that I am most interested to discover.” Leaning over, Gonzo tried to get a peek, only to be halted by a fist in his side, bringing him to his knees on the floor. “Oh heavens! Kidneys!”
“Oh, stop complaining,” Piggy said, rolling her eyes. “You only need one.”
“Do you all mind?” the manager sneered, turning away from the door slightly. “Trying to do work here.”
“Oh!” Rizzo exclaimed, putting a hand to his heart. “Are we disturbing you? Oh, good heavens! Oh my stars! We mustn’t stop the very important work you must be doing right now! Everyone, please! Stop what you’re doing! Stop the presses! Stop the masses! Stop your breathing! The great master and boss, Lord Scooter, is about to…”
“Do you want this door opened or not?”
“I do.”
“Well, okay then!”
Pepe, who had been knocked cold earlier, managed to stumble his feet right as Scooter was loosening the last screw to the door knob. “What is going on heres?” he asked, confused. Shaking the cobwebs from his little head, Pepe watched as the stage manager was able to undo the inner door knob, allowing the door to open and granting their freedom.
Only, they weren’t exactly free.
As soon as Scooter opened the door, a pack of wild dogs was seemingly waiting outside. “Shut it, Scooter! Shut it!” Shutting it quickly, both Scooter and Kermit stood with their backs to the door, hoping to block the dogs from entering.
“Oh,” Pepe replied, eyes lighting up in remembrance. “Now I remember!”
“Remember what?” Gonzo hissed.
“Ju see,” the shrimp began. “I decided to do a good deed, si? So I rescued these nice dogs from the pounds.”
“Those didn’t look like cute little poodles to me!” Rizzo exclaimed.
“No, no,” Pepe replied, shaking his head. “The poodles, they goes fer El Pepe! No, those are the dogs from Mexico that I rescused, cause ju know, womens likes it when you rescue things.”
“We’re going to die in here!” the rat cried.
“No,” Piggy hissed. “First we’re going to have a shrimp barbeque, then we’re going to die in here.”
“Si, si,” the prawn nodded. “Except for that bbqs thing and the fact that yo soy King Prawn, h’okay!? But ju are probably right, we will probably die in here, but mira, could be worse h’okay?”
“How!?”
“How could this be any freaking worse!?”
“Mira,” the prawn said. “We could be out theres, h’okay? Like the Beakie surgeon man.”
The group looked at each other. While the theater could be a hustle and bustle of activity, there were days when only a handful of people were around; this day, as well as the previous days for the original trio that had been stuck. If Pepe was right, Dr. Honeydew and Beaker were in the theater or had been in the theater, meaning that poor Beaker was now probably running from both his lab partner and the dogs.
“You know, it’s not so bad in here,” Scooter commented. “If you put some flowers or plants around…”
“Soooo,” Gonzo began, leaning over to Piggy. “What was that thing that you and Kermit hadn’t discussed that involved little ole me?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh, c’mon! Are you sure it wasn’t something?”
“No.”
“Mira, everyone, mira,” Pepe started. “Reezo and I were doing something when Scooter came in, h’okay?” Turning to the rat, he said, “Let’s start when you discover that I am actually my twin sister, h’okay?”
“Sure,” Rizzo nodded. “What’s her name? I mean, you know, your new name?”
“Es Lupe, h’okay?”
“H’okay.”
“Is that why he’s wearing a dress?” Piggy whispered.
“It’s really better if you don’t ask,” Gonzo replied. “Frankly, it made more sense when they were doing the Spanish version of this; quite surprised that Rizzo speaks Spanish. Did you know that?”
“I don’t really care.”
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