• Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
    You are viewing our forum as a guest. Join our free community to post topics and start private conversations. Please contact us if you need help.
  • "Muppets Now" premieres on Disney+
    The Muppets fifth series of all time debuted on Disney+. Make plans to watch one of the most anticipated shows of the year. New episodes premiere every Friday through September 4.
  • 50 Years and Counting
    Read our review and discuss with fans the highly anticipated Sesame Street "50 Years and Counting" DVD set from Shout Factory featuring over five hours of beloved moments.
  • 50 Years and Still Sunny!
    Read fan reactions and let us know your thoughts on the all-new Sesame Street documentary "50 Years and Still Sunny!" hosted by Gloria Estefan.
  • The Dark Crystal: "Age of Resistance"
    After a 36 year wait, return to the great conjunction. The Dark Crystal "Age of Resistance" is a mesmerizing and beautiful prequel series now on Netflix. Renew your essence today.
  • Music is Everywhere
    Muppet Central Radio is now on TorontoCast, TuneIn, Apple, Amazon and Google. Listen to Muppet music 24/7 wherever you go with TuneIn and Apple apps and devices.

One Shots, Parodies, & Trailers!

WebMistressGina

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
913
Reaction score
655
:smile::embarrassed::concern::mad::wink::sympathy::confused::eek:

I know what you're thinking.

Gina, you've got two outstandings and you're writing another one? Well, to answer that, no. I'm not actually. See, when I get a story in my mind, it's in there until 1. I'm forced to write it down regardless of what I'm doing or 2. it leaves my brain in the dead of night like some cat burgular or residents at the Happiness Hotel.

And because some of these ideas are actually good, I don't want them to just vanish you know? But, in many cases, I don't have a story per se, but an idea that is funny or touching and I just don't have anywhere to put it. The Muppets here seem to be prime for just about any idea that I can come up with, which of course is great unless I can't think of a story for it. So, I decided, why not bring said idea to the masses and then YOU guys can tell me if I've got a story or not.

Or heck, if you wanna make a story, be my guest.

So this little piece of the Mup Cen forums I'm gonna devote to all those ridiculous ideas that I don't know what to do with. And yes, I got several. Some of these are parodies - after The Great Beartender, I've been on a Designing Women kick and several of those episodes seem to be Muppet stories waiting to happen. Also after hearing about the office sequel to Muppets 2011, I got these ideas in my head.

And some of these are noodle incidents - stories that popped up from no where (like the '75 petting zoo incident with Gonzo, what happened during breakfast that got the fab four kicked out of a restaurant, why Fozzie's banned from sharp instruments, etc)

Anyway, here's our first installment!


Title: Untitled
Genre: Parody; one shot?
Idea From: Designing Women episode, "Foreign Affairs"
Rating: PG-13


What should have been a normal day at Muppet Theatre was anything but.

That is to say that, a normal day at the theater and certainly with the Muppets was relative as to how you looked at it; the normal aspects of running a vaudeville like show in a theater, while also filming said show for television audiences could always be a hectic type of atmosphere. Add to it the cast of characters that made up the troupe and show itself and there was always a mix of trouble.

Today however, director, producer, and leader of the Muppets Kermit the Frog wasn’t just dealing with the zaniness that was his cast and crew, but something on a bigger scale. That something was a bed that was situated backstage.

Recently, one of the vacant lots up from the theater and that of Muppet Studios had been bought and turned into a furniture store. That in itself wasn’t anything bad, however it seemed that the store had a similar address to that of the studios; so in the last few weeks, the furniture that should have been delivered to the furniture store ended up being delivered to the theater instead.

A table or chair hadn’t been too bad, but apparently a new client of the store was going all out in ordering larger and more custom made pieces. Last week, it was a leopard print sectional that had found its way backstage, much to the delight of everyone who sat on it; today, it was the large water bed like furniture that was not only driving Kermit to distractions, but that of the others too.

“Why is there a bed here?” asked comic Fozzie Bear. Fozzie had been making his way to the stage in order to rehearse his act for their upcoming show, but had stopped short when he saw the bed.

“It’s that stupid furniture store up the street,” Kermit complained. “Every time they get an order, it ends up coming to us. I’ve already called them three times this morning with no response. I have half a mind to go down there and tell them what they can do with all the furniture that keeps being sent here.”

Fozzie gulped. He had seen Kermit get mad enough times to know that who ever was in charge at that store was going to regret not taking this bed back. The bear could only hope that his frog could last until the end of the day; that wish of course was immediately broken when their resident performance artist, Gonzo the Great saw the bed.

“Hey awesome!” he exclaimed, immediately jumping in the bed. The surface moved with him, causing him to rise up and sink back down. “I love these things!”

“Gonzo, get off of there!”

“Kermit,” the daredevil continued, unheeded by the warning. “Why haven’t you thought about putting one of these in here before? Not that I’m knocking the change of heart, but…”

“Why is there a bed back here?”

Scooter Grosse, the stage manager and assistant for the theater, had just come from doing some errands to discover a giant bed in the backstage area. And he was fairly sure that hadn’t been there when he left last night.

“Scooter,” the frog complained, one part exasperated by there being a bigger distraction backstage than usual and the fact that, per usual, Gonzo had gotten caught up in it. “Call that furniture store up the street and tell them to come pick up this monstrosity from our premises.”

“Sure, Chief.”

“Aw, let him try it out first,” Gonzo replied, taking a relaxing position on the bed itself. “Scooter, come over here and sit down.”

“Scooter, do not get on that bed,” Kermit warned.

“Don’t listen to him,” Gonzo retorted. “Just have a seat. You can call the furniture place while you sit.”

It literally felt like a conversation between the devil and angel on his shoulders, but Scooter couldn’t deny that the bed looked comfortable. And certainly, sitting down wouldn’t be too bad, right? Taking his chances with the devil, Scooter took a seat on the side of the bed and was immediately at ease.

It felt as though he sat down on a cloud and before he realized it, he was lying next to Gonzo on their floating distraction. “This is seriously nice,” he sighed.

“Isn’t it?” Gonzo said. “I love these things. So contoured to put you at ease and relax you. Comfy, yeah?”

“I’d consider getting one of these.”

“You should, they’re great. I wasn’t sure they even still made them. Tough market to go through, you know?”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah,” Gonzo nodded. “Well, at least in an American market.”

“You know,” replied a voice from the other side. “For once, I’d like to walk in here and not feel as though I’ve walked on to the ward of a mental hospital.”

Looking up, the two bedridden Muppets were greeted by the troupe’s leading lady, Miss Piggy. Having come in to rehearse her own act, the diva was met with an increasingly irritated frog and a large bed blocking nearly half of the backstage area.

“What is this?”

“It’s an Arabian nights gel bed,” Gonzo explained, sitting up slightly. “They’re great for your back. Here,” Moving his way to the end of the bed, the weirdo patted the area where he had been. “Try it, you’ll like it.”

“No.”

“Really Piggy,” Scooter replied, snugging deeper in the comforts of the gel. “It’s really relaxing.”

“No,” she said again, looking at the assistant. “It’s just weird.”

“Will you stop complaining and get in bed with me?” Gonzo huffed, heedless of the way that particular sentence sounded.

Neither Piggy nor Kermit could ignore it, however. “I don’t ever want to hear that sentence from you again,” Kermit replied, turning to look at the weirdo.

“That makes two of us,” Piggy muttered.

“Whatever,” Gonzo sighed. “Piggy, just get in.”

Heaving her own sigh, Piggy reluctantly got in bed, taking the space next to Scooter, and was immediately taken away from the softness and comfort of the design. As though she was riding on waves of bliss, the diva too snuggled in.

“Oh wow.”

“See!?”

“This…is…great!” she exclaimed. “Kermit, we need a bed like this.”

“No we don’t.”

Kermit turned around and tried to get to back to work, trying his best to ignore the three people he actually needed to be working today. Sometimes he was convinced that the theater was a magnet for the weird and insane, as though a portal to the Twilight Zone was just swirling around somewhere, hidden so they couldn’t find it, but there all the same.

Coming off stage was the Electric Mayhem, the official band of the Muppet Show. Kermit always tried to get them a number in the show, as it seemed their act was the only sane thing that tended to happen around there. The group began to head down to their cantina, all except the lead guitarist Janice, whose curiousity at seeing a bed backstage pushed back the idea of food.

“You’re probably wondering why we’re in this bed together,” Gonzo stated, seeing the looks the band members gave the relaxing trio.

“No,” replied band leader Dr. Teeth and that of the bassist Floyd Pepper. Used to the weird and odd happening, neither decided to ponder nor comment on what they had seen, instead following their drummer and sax player down towards questionable food.

Janice was not quite so lucky. “Okay,” she chuckled. “Like, I give. What’s up with the bed backstage?”

“It’s so relaxing,” Scooter said.

“Hey Jani, come over here,” Gonzo replied, waving the blonde over. “You have to try this.”

“Gonzo,” Kermit interrupted, turning another irritated gaze on the weirdo. “Will you stop inviting people to get into bed with you?”

By the time it had left his mouth, the frog knew he had just set himself up for comebacks he wasn’t in the mood to hear. And right on cue, the daredevil smirked at him. “Gee Kermit,” he said, smiling devilishly. “I haven’t done that since I got myself a steady girlfriend.”

“Please,” Piggy retorted. “Even that didn’t stop you.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“Okay,” Kermit sighed, turning back around and focusing on the desk in front of him, as well as the work he needed to do on it. “I’m not talking to you people anymore.”

“Great,” Gonzo said. “Janice, come over here and try this.”

Shrugging, the blonde walked over and got into the bed, taking the other side of Scooter; she was usually up for trying something at least once and this time did not disappoint. “Like whoa.”

“Nice?” Piggy asked.

“Like we totally need this in the studio,” the guitarist gushed. “Where did we get this?”

“I dunno,” the weirdo shrugged. “Something about the furniture store up the street. But I say we totally buy it from them. Whadda think, Kermit?”

“I’m not listening.”

“So awesome,” Janice sighed. “Like, what is this for anyway?”

“The bed?” Gonzo asked. “Or the gel?”

“All of it.”

“Oh,” the daredevil began. “Well, it’s supposed to be good for your back, cause of the gel and stuff. Trust me, the stuff is soothing. Camilla and I had one when I wrenched my back on this job once; talk about your relaxing afternoons.”

“Like, I’m so sure it was the bed that was relaxing.”

Gonzo smirked at the blonde. “Oh, the bed helped.”

“Sounds like you need all the help you can get, Gonzo,” quipped Piggy.

“Believe me, Princess,” the daredevil winked. “The bed was the added bonus.”

“Do you all really think this is an appropriate conversation to be discussing in front of Scooter?” Kermit complained, throwing separate looks at the parties involved.

“Andrew’s a big boy now,” Piggy replied, throwing a motherly arm around Scooter. “It’s important he learns these things from people he knows and trusts.”

“You know, when the guys and I lived in this apartment building,” Janice went on to say. “And like, there was this couple who lived across the hall from us and I swear, they were like rabbits. Totally surprised when they even left the apartment.”

“You know, I never believe those couples who say they’re with each other all time,” Piggy mentioned. “You have to have a break at some point. Girl’s gotta eat.”

“Not if you bring the food to her,” Gonzo pointed.

“Really?” Kermit replied, annoyed that no matter what he seemed to do, he could still hear their conversation behind him. “This is the conversation you’re going to have today?”

“We’re changing the subject.”

By then, Gonzo had started bouncing slightly at the end, which caused small ripples and waves to move throughout the bed frame, causing the girls to giggle in delight. “Like, it’s totally fun having a bed in the office,” Janice laughed.

“Yeah,” the weirdo said, holding his arms out as he began to crest on the mini waves. “It’s kinda like surfing, but without the water and the fear of drowning.”

“You know, if I’m disturbing you all by working,” the frog muttered. “I’ll turn off the lights and go home.”

“Come on, Kermit!” Gonzo insisted. “Get in here. It’s a great bed! It’s supposed to help you relax and relate to people in a whole new way.”

“I don’t want to relate to any of you in a whole new way.”

“I’ll remember that for later,” Piggy retorted.

Scooter, who had by this time fallen fast asleep, turned over and threw an arm around the person nearest to him, which happened to be Janice. “Well, Scooter’s certainly relaxed and wants to relate to us in a whole new way,” Gonzo joked.

“Aw, leave him alone,” the guitarist chastised. Patting said arm across her body, she continued with, “He was up all late last night trying to type up a proposal with no Internet. He called me to find out the definition of ‘antidesiccants’.”

Both Gonzo and Piggy looked at her. “Why did he call you?” the diva asked.

“Because I know the definition of antidesiccants,” Janice replied. “It’s the compounds which are applied to plants to reduce dehydration and drying.”

Again, the daredevil and diva stared. “That’s incredible,” Gonzo whispered. “Why do you know that?”

“I know all the word oddities and their definitions.”

“Why?”

“Cause I like learning,” the guitarist. “And like, they’re weird and weird stuff fascinates me.”

“That’s amazing,” Piggy said, in awe. “Completely random and insane, but amazing none the less.”

“Love you, baby,” murmured a sleeping assistant.

Piggy smiled before leaning over him and saying, “And we love you.”

“Hey girls,” Gonzo chuckled. “Come down here. Come down here and we’ll displace all the gel so when Scooter wakes up, he’ll be on this great big mound.”

“Alright, that’s it,” said Kermit, turning from the, obviously, only place of sanity. “I want everyone out of that bed. Right now.”

“Aw!”

Blurry eyed and still a bit sleepy, Scooter woke when he realized he wasn’t cuddling a pillow or Mila Kunis. “What’s going on?”

“Daddy Kermit’s kicking us off the gel bed,” replied Piggy, as she too stood.

“Aw!”

“I’m serious!” the frog cried. “Everyone off that bed! Scooter!”

“Yeah?”

“Call that furniture store, call them right now and have them take this back. Today.”
 

newsmanfan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
2,927
Reaction score
1,663
------------
What? You're stopping THERE?

*pout*

But I like this! *bouncing lightly on the bed* Boingy, boingy, boingy...

:news: What's that?

A bed.

:news: Even with my glasses off I could see THAT. *scowl* What are you DOING on it?

I'm not sure. Come help me figure it out?...

Very very cute idea. This whole thing is adorable. The only gripe I have is that I just can't imagine Piggy ever using the phrase "completely random and insane"...it's much too modern-slang for her. Piggy doesn't do slang. Perhaps this revelation of Janice's could be...oh...I don't know...je nais se qua? (sp)
------------------
 

WebMistressGina

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
913
Reaction score
655
------------
What? You're stopping THERE?

*pout*
That's all I had. *shrugs*

But I like this! *bouncing lightly on the bed* Boingy, boingy, boingy...
Glad you did! I liked it too, which is why I needed to write it down. That's definitely a side story to a much bigger one, I just haven't found the bigger one yet. The episode of DW that this is based on has Suzanne and Anthony posing as Suzanne's maid so that she can pass the citizenship test to stay in the States.

And as hard as I tried, I just can not think up a good storyline in which Piggy or Gonzo or Scooter need to dress in drag. Believe me, I tried! I have tried!

Very very cute idea. This whole thing is adorable. The only gripe I have is that I just can't imagine Piggy ever using the phrase "completely random and insane"...it's much too modern-slang for her. Piggy doesn't do slang. Perhaps this revelation of Janice's could be...oh...I don't know...je nais se qua? (sp)
------------------
OOOOH! Je nais se qua is actually a good one, thank you! I have noticed that I've started taking the French out of Piggy's vocabulary; it could be that I just forget and then I hastily put it in somewhere or that the whole French thing was a 'young' Piggy routine, part and parcial of the allure of Miss Piggy and I think after being on her own in Paris, that sorta died out.

I mean, she's still Miss Piggy, but she's not a...I dunno, naive as she has been maybe?

Or it could also be that my last two freelancing assignments were about stuff in France and I personally find the clients to be unreasonable and quite frankly, my job gives me more respect and more pay than I'm willing to deal with these people. I'm thinking it's number three.

So, funnily enough, I did have another story that I thought was just a half of a story, but when I thought about, I think it's an actual story, so I'm gonna go with it.

I think the next one here was the idea I had about Fozzie juggling swords; I mentioned it in 6 Ball as that's where my mind took me, but again, for the life of me, I can't figure out where to put this and it's one of those 'scenes of a story'.

That's up next!
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
30,986
Reaction score
2,814
Er Kris, the phrase you might be looking for is "je ne sais quoi".
And seriously, bouncing on the bed? I expected you to know better, that's how we got Hobgoblins! *MST3K.

Good ficlet Gina. It accomplishes what a story should: it has a beginning, middle, and somewhat of an ending. Sure, the conflict with the furniture store didn't get resolved, but it leads the reader to continue with their own conclusions as to whether it might or won't.
Thanks for this, please keep writing/posting. :smile:
 

WebMistressGina

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
913
Reaction score
655
Er Kris, the phrase you might be looking for is "je ne sais quoi".
And seriously, bouncing on the bed? I expected you to know better, that's how we got Hobgoblins! *MST3K.

Good ficlet Gina. It accomplishes what a story should: it has a beginning, middle, and somewhat of an ending. Sure, the conflict with the furniture store didn't get resolved, but it leads the reader to continue with their own conclusions as to whether it might or won't.
Thanks for this, please keep writing/posting. :smile:
Well, it's not really a full story, as I mentioned. It's really a scene that be placed in a story, I just haven't found that story yet. Basically I had it in my head and wanted to write it down before I completely forgot it.

Now with that said, I actually did have two more scenes for this, cause I can imagine this being the complete and total headache that you could imagine it to be (for Kermit).

Oh! I completely forgot to show you guys where this idea came from. Here is said episode -


Again, I still can't figure out a good reason for having someone dress in drag for the A story, so any ideas, let me know!
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
30,986
Reaction score
2,814
Er, why have characters in drag when you can pluck some one of the one-time females people complain the Muppets lack? Like Wanda or Mildred or Hilda or Gladys or Winny or Maureen or...
 

WebMistressGina

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
913
Reaction score
655
Er, why have characters in drag when you can pluck some one of the one-time females people complain the Muppets lack? Like Wanda or Mildred or Hilda or Gladys or Winny or Maureen or...
Cause it's part of the storyline, or rather, if I followed the story line of the DW episode. In it, in order to prevent Suzanne's maid from being deported, Suzanne gets Anthony to dress up as her maid, in order to fool INS, so that the maid can stay in the states.

Usually if I come up with a parody idea I like to actually follow the episode, but in this case I just couldn't come up with a good idea in which to have someone dress in drag. And truthfully, depending on the combination, it probably would have been a Miss Piggy Mup Adventure with either her and Scooter or her and Gonzo, but again, just can't think up the A story for that to work.

So instead, you get the B story about the bed. Watch the episode above to get the whole gist.
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
30,986
Reaction score
2,814
Okay...

Those embedded links don't show up when I'm reading posts, and I don't go to YouTube much because of their jerkish stop-and-go player though the rest of my family gets whatever they download without any problems. *:grouchy:

As for your plot ponderings... Does it "Have" to be a male in drag for it to work? Here's a suggestion. Let's say Maureen's Piggy's maid/assistant who has to be protected/hidden from INS or whatever law enforcement agency's coming after her. In order to fool them (somewhat successfully or not as Muppets tend to do), what if Piggy then drags out Gorgon Heap in his Fielding the Butler persona from the Sherlock Holmes sketch? That could technically fulfill the plot elements you want I guess. *Shrugs, up to you what you want to do, so dare and be, er, sorry, lapsed into song quote mode for a sec.
 

WebMistressGina

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
913
Reaction score
655
Okay...

Those embedded links don't show up when I'm reading posts, and I don't go to YouTube much because of their jerkish stop-and-go player though the rest of my family gets whatever they download without any problems. *:grouchy:
Huh. That's weird. Are you sure you have your browser set to play videos and stuff? Is flash installed? Java?

As for your plot ponderings... Does it "Have" to be a male in drag for it to work? Here's a suggestion. Let's say Maureen's Piggy's maid/assistant who has to be protected/hidden from INS or whatever law enforcement agency's coming after her. In order to fool them (somewhat successfully or not as Muppets tend to do), what if Piggy then drags out Gorgon Heap in his Fielding the Butler persona from the Sherlock Holmes sketch? That could technically fulfill the plot elements you want I guess. *Shrugs, up to you what you want to do, so dare and be, er, sorry, lapsed into song quote mode for a sec.
Well, anytime you take someone and put them in drag, yes it's funnier.

Again, if I'm going to go all out and do this per the episode, someone should be in drag. Here's a quick summary - also for anyone who can't see the player -

So episode starts with Julia chastizing Charlene for having the Arabian gel bed delivered to them instead of their client, who apparently wasn't home to accept it. Before too long, Mary Jo, Charlene, and Anthony are riding around on the bed (most of Julia's comments I've given to Kermit)

When Suzanne comes in to work, she's dressed pretty shabbily. Turns out she's dressed as her maid Consuella, who has just gotten a letter that she is going to be deported unless she gains citizenship. The reason Anthony gets involved is because he speaks Spanish, which Suzanne does not; that's how he ends up helping her and because the official they speak to knows Suzanne as Suzanne and not Consuella means that Anthony is the one who has to be dressed as the maid.

Other than the bed segment, there are several lines that I enjoyed that I thought were just perfect Muppet lines -

1. the conversation about the Halls (the clients) sex life causes Mary Jo and Charlene to reflect that they had been a little tacky in conversation that day.

2. I think my absolute favorite conversation in the whole episode -

Charlene: (after Suzanne and Anthony have left) I wonder what's keeping Suzanne and Anthony.

Julia: Charlene. Are you serious? Suzanne just left here with a six foot black dressed as hazel in order to defraud the United States government and you're wondering what's keeping them? Well, it's been three hours, I don't think you have to wonder anymore. They're in prison.

I can just see this exchange between Fozzie and Kermit and all I know is that Piggy is one of these offenders; I just can't decide if I wanted Gonzo or Scooter to be the accomplice. And because there's money involved (that's primarily how Anthony gets talked into this), that can't really be a motivation, as all three (Piggy, Gonzo, and Scooter) are fairly well off (in my series) that money would seem moot.

And I hope that helps!
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
30,986
Reaction score
2,814
Well, I don't rully see why it can't be a background monster at random. But given he's already gone to jail with her and he'd probably get the bigger kick out of it as it might expand his wardrobe options, go with the weirdo.
*Knows I'll regret it, but what if Scooter tries passing himself os as his sister Skeeter?


Then again, the oneshot was fine as is, maybe move on to other ficlet scenes or your neglected stories proper?
 
Top