Old Friends Who've Just Met

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 10

Flames erupted from the windows of a C.O.V.N.E.T. office building.

Me: Flames! Wheeee!

Gonzo: You sound like me.

Inside a rocket was perched on its side in the middle of the room with all the desks and office supplies pushed to the edges of the room.

Me: Ah ha! The third rocket is found!

Gonzo: Isn’t that only two?

Me: ...I’ve told you math isn’t my best subject...

Gonzo: Well maybe if you didn't spend the whole period drawing in your notebook...

"Oh dang it Clyde," Butch’s voice said from inside the ship. "You forgot to turn off the emergency brakes!"

Clyde stuck his head out the window of the rocket and looked at the burning office supplies and the singed hole in the wall behind the exhaust of the rocket. "Oh come on Butch, can’t we do this when it’s not five in the morning?" Clyde whined.

"No we cannot!" Butch shouted as he pushed Clyde out of the rocket’s window. "We have the opportunity to follow an alien into space and discover an entire alien race, getting us huge promotions! We do this now!" he shouted out the window.

Gonzo: He’s pretty pushy.

Me: Yeah, he pushed Clyde right out the window.

"Okay, okay fine..." Clyde said.

"That’s better," Butch said. He let out a big yawn. "You know what Clyde? Why don’t we do this when it’s not five in the morning."

Me: He’s pretty lenient too...

Gonzo: That, or dumb as a post.

"That’s a great idea Butch!" Clyde said genuinely.

Butch rubbed his knuckles against his chest. "Yup, that’s why I’m the brains of this outfit."

Gonzo: His outfit has brains? By the way, who’s his taylor? I love that outfit!

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Sweetums snored loudly as he slept on the couch in the living room at the Muppet Boarding House. He dreamed of his performance with Rita Moreno on The Muppet Show. He thought that Robin’s Frog Scout mistress; Mrs. Appleby; had come to pick him up to go on a Frog Scout field trip at 6:00 am. It was now 6:30 and Sweetums hadn’t been awake since the other Muppets left to see Gonzo off.

Me: Little did Sweetums know...

The door to the boarding house burst open and several Muppets darted in.
"BATHROOM! BATHROOM!" Animal shouted.

Gonzo: THAT’S appealing...

"Hokay peoples listen up, today’s breakfast special es cinnamon raisin bread, cinnamon rolls and cinnamon flavored coffee, hokay?" Pepe said.

"Man what’s with all the cinnamon?" Zippity Zap asked.

Me: Have I ever mentioned how much I love Zippity Zap? He’s rully cool.

"Well we were going to have cereals, but someone ate it all," Pepe glared at Rizzo.

"Hey, a rat’s gotta eat!"

"And eat and eat and eat!" Zippity laughed.

Me: Hehehe.

Kermit scrunched up his face and walked into the living room where Sweetums was just now waking up. "Hey Sweetums, everything go alright this morning?" Kermit asked.


Sweetums rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Yeah boss, everything was fine, Robin left," he said, not knowing he how right he was.

Me: I know how right he is...

Gonzo: Me too.

Me: Well we HAVE been here this whole time.

"Oh good. Well, you’ll be happy to know that Gonzo made a successful launch," Kermit said as he sat down in an armchair.

"Great," Sweetums yawned.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY FOO FOO?!" Miss Piggy screamed from the kitchen.

"Man, no way did I stick your stupid dog in the oven!" Floyd remarked. "Not that I haven’t thought about it numerous times."

Smoke and the smell of singed fur erupted from the kitchen doorway.

Me: Ewww, singed fur...

"Ker-miiit!" Fozzie shouted.

Kermit sighed. "I’ll get the fire extinguisher, again!"

Gonzo: Kermit buys fire extinguishers in bulk...

All progressed as normally as possible within the Muppet Boarding House. And all of its inhabitants remained blissfully unaware as to the whereabouts of their little froggy friend.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Zongo and Flanzgo awoke Onzgo from a nap he took in his chamber and told him that Gonzo was due to arrive at the space station soon.

"Righteous," Onzgo said. "Come, let us go to the docking bay and meet Gonzo when he arrives."

The three of them left Onzgo’s private chambers and made their way down the large hallway.

"Finally," Onzgo said. "With Gonzo here, our people will finally get to live without fear."

Me: Awww, he cares so much...

"I just hope Uncle Gonzo knows what he’s getting himself into," Flanzgo sighed.

Gonzo: I still can’t get over that...

Me: You mean what you’re getting yourself into?

Gonzo: No, the fact that I have a niece.

Onzgo chuckled. "Don’t worry my child. From what I know of my little brother he doesn’t need to know what he’s getting into, because it will not matter to him."

Gonzo: I guess that’s true...

Me: Sha! Remember that incident with the lightbulb, set of coasters and gallon of lemonade.

Gonzo: HA! Yeah! Wasn’t that AWESOME?

The three of them arrived at the docking bay in time to see the rocket land inside. The door on it’s side opened automatically and stairs slid down from the ship to the floor.


Inside the ship Gonzo ushered Robin towards his suitcase. "Quick Robin get in, you can’t be seen!"

"Brother Gonzo!" Onzgo’s voice called from outside. "Welcome home!"

Gonzo turned to the door. "Home," Gonzo said softly.

Gonzo: Home...

"Okay Gonzo, I’m ready," Robin said from inside the suitcase.

Gonzo rushed over to the suitcase and closed it shut. He took a deep breath and descended the stairs.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Officer Barretta knocked on the Muppet Boarding House door. After a few seconds, Kermit opened the door. "Oh, hi-ho Officer, we didn’t expect to see you this soon," the frog said.

Gonzo: There’s that weird referenced officer.

Me: YOU’RE calling someone weird?

Officer Barretta tipped his hat. "Morning Kermit, the DNA scan went better than expected and we’ve found a match to the hair we found in your basement," he handed Kermit a file folder.

The frog opened it and saw two pictures, one of a large blue monster, and the other of a smaller pink one.

"That’s Butch and Clyde there. We thought you’d like to know the culprits of your robbery. I’m ready to dispatch a team to arrest them and have your rocket returned."

"Oh no, we wouldn’t want that," Kermit said. "It was probably just a mistake. And these guys look friendly enough, I tell you what Officer, we’ll handle this one if that’s alright."

Me: Aww, look how compassionate Kermie is.

Gonzo: It still creeps me out that you call him Kermie...

Me: Thus is the life of an ushy gushy guy...

Officer Barretta smiled. "I shouldn’t have expected any less from you Kermit. Good luck," he said as he returned to his squad car.

Kermit closed the door and walked back inside. "Hey everybody, the police found our notorious rocket robbers," Kermit said as he walked into the dining room where all the Muppets were at the table eating breakfast.

"Groovy," Dr. Teeth said. "Are the men with the badges, the po-lice, the fuzz, the P.I.G. going to dispatch their forces to send them to the hoosgow, the joint, the cooler?"

Me: REFERENCE!! The names the good doctor gave to the police is a direct reference to what he called them in "The Muppet Movie."

Kermit sat down at his spot at the head of the table. "Uh, no Dr. Teeth, I think we’re gonna handle this one."

"Kermit, we’re going to deal with vicious robbers?" Fozzie moaned.

"Well Fozzie, they look nice enough," Kermit said handing the bear the folder.
Fozzie opened it and looked at the pictures. "Oh yeah, they look like Muppets. Hey, and look here, they work at that government agency that took Gonzo that one time!"

Me: Ooh, C.O.V.N.E.T. is found!

"Their C.O.V.ies?" Bobo asked. All of the other Muppets turned and stared at him. "Heh heh heh, that’s what I call ‘em C.O.V.ies."

"Bad guys! Bad guys!" Animal chanted.

"Well, we don’t know that for sure Animal, but we’re gonna find out," Kermit said. "Who’s with me?"


"You mean, who’s witcha to go to a secret government agency, deal with robbers, and possibly get injured in da process?" Rizzo asked.

"Well, uh, yeah," Kermit said.

"I’m out," Floyd said.

Me: Ooh yay! More Muppets for me to name!

"I have a lot of stuff to clean up down in the basement still."

Me: Beauregard!

"Mee mo mee mee mo mo mee."

Gonzo: May I?

Me: Surely.

Gonzo: Beaker.

"Sorry Kerm I got a date and-"

Me: Clifford.

"It’s like this Kermit I have to work again."

Me: Janice.

"JOHNNY FIAMMA’S SCARED OF ROBBERS!"

Me: Sal.

"QUIET!!" Fozzie shouted. "How many times do we have to go over this?" Fozzie asked. "Kermit has done so much for us, why can’t we do this one thing for him?"

Me: And now everyone just apologizes in the order they well...Had a reason to apologize.

"Aw man, I was only kiddin’."

"I suppose I could clean up later."

"Mee me mo."

"Like I guess I could totally call in sick."

"Man I feel like half a cent."

"JOHNNY FIAMMA FEELS LIKE HALF A CENT!"

"Well there you go Kermit," Fozzie said. "We’re all with you!"

"Oh good," Kermit said, his stomach growled and he scrunched up his face. "Just right after breakfast okay?"

Me: Never get between a frog and his stomach. Oh? Was that it. Cool. Back to the dorm Gonz!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Kermit buys fire extinguishers in bulk. Good to know. I can't say I blame him.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Wow, like, I'm sorry I haven't said anything here in so long! I just love Gonzo's reactions to this story, and of course it goes without saying that I love the story itself!
My my, Camila sure is getting grumpy in her old age...

 

[The Count]

Great stuff... Rully like it when you tell us who said what in a big group scene like that.
Post more soon... Commentary that is.

 

[theprawncracker]

Thanks guys! I'm gonna try and get the next chapter of commentary up later today! I've got nothing better to do without school today...

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 11

Thunderous applause and cheers roared through the landing bay as Gonzo descended the stairs. Onzgo, Zongo and Flanzgo moved forward through the cheering crowds. Onzgo laughed and quieted down the crowd. "My brother from Earth!" Onzgo said as he walked towards Gonzo.

Gonzo: Ah, what a nice homecoming.

Gonzo grinned. "Hi!" he said. "I’ve missed you all so much!"

"We have missed you too my courageous brother, and we cannot thank you enough for coming on such short notice," Onzgo said as he embraced Gonzo with a hug.

"Hey, I couldn’t let you guys die out. I mean, you’re my family," the weirdo said, smiling.

Me: Die out...Way to be forward Gonz.

Gonzo: Way to be forward mister writer...

Zongo and Flanzgo stepped forward slightly. Onzgo looked back at them, "Oh my how rude of me, please allow me to introduce your niece, Flanzgo," he motioned to his daughter. "And of course you already know Zongo," the alien placed his hand on Zongo’s arm.

Gonzo: Niece! Oh, I’m so glad I have a niece...I fell just like Kermit now.

Me: But Kermit has a nephew.

Gonzo: Don’t you think I know that? I’ve lived with him ya know.

Zongo extended his hand to Gonzo, who shook it. "Hi Ed, nice to see you again. Oh, and Bobo...Er, Rentro, says ‘Hi.’"

Zongo nodded and smiled. "Good to see you again Gonzo. I hope you have no hard feelings towards me."

"No no, of course not."

Gonzo: Speak for yourself Gonzo!

Me: You’re speaking TO yourself Gonzo...

A small opening on the zipped part of Gonzo’s suitcase allowed Robin to peer through. The small frog looked at Flanzgo who was introducing herself to her uncle.

Onzgo peered down at the suitcase. He saw the speck of dark green inside and the white eye glancing around.

Onzgo grabbed Gonzo’s shoulder and led him out of the docking bay. "Come my brother, there is much more to see."

Me: Ooh, Onzgo knows!!

"Great," Gonzo said. "Oh and by the way, I never got your name either."

Gonzo: There’s that Great Gonzo thing again.

Me: Mm-hm. And another flaw I felt in MFS, was that your brother never introduced himself to you Gonzo. Let alone any of the other Gonzonians.

"Ah," Onzgo nodded. "I am Onzgo, the Uber-Gonzo. And you, you are Gonzo. My brother, and the true ruler of these people."

Gonzo: WHAT?!
"What?!" Gonzo shouted.

Me: You are REALLY good at that...

Onzgo chuckled. "I will explain in due time my brother. But for now," Onzgo whispered. "We need to do something with your luggage."

Gonzo gulped. "You noticed?"

"I see many things, but don’t worry, your little friend is in no danger as of now."

Gonzo nodded. "Is there anyway I can call my friends? Kermit always worries about Robin."

Me: If that ain’t the truth...

"Quiet," Onzgo urged. "The walls have ears. Come we must go to Des Filmer, he can help you contact this Kermit."

Me: There’s good ol’ Des Filmer again. Gotta love ‘im.

A small section of the wall directly behind the alien brothers shifted and moved along to an open door. The door slid shut automatically. Zongo turned around and eyed the door.

Gonzo: Ooh, what was that?

Me: That’s called a period Gonzo.

Gonzo: Oh nevermind...

"Zongo are you coming?" Onzgo asked.

Zongo stared at the door for a moment before answering. "No no, you need this family gathering."

"If that is your wish, we shall abide by it, come now Gonzo, Flanzgo, we must make haste, we are not safe," Onzgo said as he pushed his relatives along.
Zongo walked up to the door he was eyeing and entered a number into a key pad, making the door slide open. As the door opened, a large monitor inside the room flashed off and Zongo felt a light breeze near his waist. "What on Gonzonia was that?"

Me: I like that line, "What on Gonzonia."

Gonzo: Cute, it’s a cute line.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Exod tapped his fingers on the arm of his throne while his other hand rested on his chin. An alien servant was kneeled at his feet, rubbing them.

Me: Ugh, I HATE that guy...He’s so mean. And this scene is so hard...

Another alien entered the room, this one wearing a medium-sized black cape and a red suit underneath it. "My lord, we have received a message from Xaldin, apparently, this Gonzo the Gonzonians are relying on, had a little stowaway," the alien grinned menacingly.

Gonzo: Oh no! They found Robin!

Exod kicked the servant at his feet as he stepped off his throne. "This is going to be fun then, isn’t it Xander?"

Me: Oh Xander...

Gonzo: What about him?

Me: ...Oh...Oh Xander...

The one called Xander half bowed. "What is your order my liege?"

"Contact Xaldin again, tell him to put our plan into motion now. And let’s include this stowaway in our little ploy as well."

Gonzo: OH ROBIN!!

"As you wish master," Xander said, leaving the throne room.

The servant boy that was kicked by Exod cowered in the corner of the room staring at the tyrant.

Me: I REALLY hate Exod...

Exod turned his head to his slave. "And just what are you looking at?" he asked, extending his arm with his hand half-clenching.

The servant grew wide eyed and its mouth began to fall open. "No!" the boy shouted. "Where did that come from?! It’s not possible!" the boy screamed in terror.

Me: And thus...Exod’s true powers are revealed...

Exod laughed. "How do you enjoy staring down your greatest fear?" the alien overlord laughed.

The boy whimpered in the corner as Exod left his mind-prisoner, overcome with fear.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Zongo examined the monitor that had flipped off when he entered the room, typing things, trying to find the source of the call, if it was a call that was.
Suddenly, the screen turned itself on again. "Xaldin? Xaldin, if you can hear me, put the plan into motion, and take the new Gonzonian’s stowaway and bring him as well," said the alien on the screen.

Gonzo: *gulp*

Me: Ditto.

Zongo looked puzzled. "Xaldin?" he asked aloud. "Who is Xal-" Zongo fell to the floor.


From behind the man emerged a shimmering silver alien, holding a large metal rod. He dropped the rod and moved towards the screen, pressing a button on the control panel and speaking into a speaker with a shrill, chilling voice. "You got it Xander," Xaldin said, turning of the monitor.

Me: Eeee, that Xaldin is evil too...

The alien walked to the wall and climbed up it with his sharp talons on both his hands and feet, then changing his skin to replicate the wall, making him completely invisible.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

"Alright Mahna, who would you like to call?" the host asked.

"Mahna Mahna," a firey orange-haired Muppet said.

Me: Ooh! I love this scene! It was actually inspired by my little brother who had the idea for Mahna Mahna on Who Wants to be a Millionare.

"Alright AT&T could you get them on the phone please?" the host said.

A ringing sound was heard over head in the studio, then a clicking sound, signaling that someone had picked up.

"Hello Snowths? This is Regis Philbin from ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire.’ I’m here with your friend Mahna Mahna, who’s already used two of his life-lines on the one-hundred dollar question and he still needs your help, so here he is, thirty seconds, start now!" the host said.

Gonzo: Wow, he’s used all of his life-lines...

Me: Well you would know a lot about that, wouldn’t you Gonz...

The number thirty appeared on the screen and began ticking backwards. "Mahna Mahna," the Muppet said.

"Doo do doo do doo," two voices said over the "phone."

"Mahna Mahna!" the Muppet shouted trying to get an answer.

"Doo do doo do."

"MAHNA MAHNA!"

"Doo do doo do doo, doo do doo, doo do doo, doo do, doo do doo do doo!"

Me: Hehehe, I love that song.

The time ran out and Mahna Mahna slammed his head down and began to weep. "Oh, that’s too bad," the host said to him.

Clifford laughed. "Man oh man, that never gets old," he said as he walked by the television screen holding mail and going towards the dining room. "Mail guys!"

Me: Ooh! I love mail calls!

Kermit set down his newspaper. "Anything for me Clifford?" the frog asked.

Clifford shuffled through the mail. "Uh, yeah, here ya go, postcard," the purple Muppet handed Kermit a postcard with a dessert on the front.

Kermit read the postcard. "Oh good, our writer’s enjoying her stay in Israel and should be back to work Monday," the frog smiled.

Me: REFERENCE!! That’s a reference to Lisa who spent all that time in Israel this summer.

"Hey, how come the hatrack gets a vacation?" Bobo asked.

Me: Another REFERENCE!! To my own story "It Feels Like Christmas" where Bobo referred to Lisa as the hatrack.

"You mean you don’t?" Rizzo asked.

"Good grief," Kermit said as he returned to his morning paper.

"Hey Kermit," Rowlf said. "Maybe you should give Mrs. Appleby a call and make sure Robin got off safely?" the dog asked.

Me: Ooh, Rowlf, you HAD to bring that up.

"Good idea Rowlf," Kermit said, beginning to get up.

"Yaber hoo der soonermon woofles!" the Swedish Chef announced, carrying a tray of waffles out to the table.

Gonzo: The cinnamon is still shining through...

Kermit sat back down. "But, uh, now breakfast is here, so let’s eat."

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

"Puppetry?" Gonzo asked.

"Puppetry," Des Filmer responded.

"That’ll never catch on," Gonzo said.

Me: OH I LOVE THAT PART!!

Gonzo: What about it? It’s just some silly puppet thing...

Me: And you’d know all about that...

"Well maybe not, but it’s still our only means of immediate contact with Earth," Onzgo said.

Gonzo shrugged. "Okay," he said, slipping on the electronic glove. "It just feels so weird..." he mumbled.

Me: It should!!

"What if no one answers?" Robin asked from his seat on Flanzgo’s lap.

"Oh, they will," Des said. "Look, they’re getting ready to eat those waffles as we speak!" he said, motioning to the monitor that showed the Muppet Boarding House dining room. "Actually, we kinda need to hurry."

"Oh right," Gonzo said, pressing a button on the glove. "So now I just talk and move my hand in the same motion?" Des Filmer nodded. "Alright, here goes nothing," he cleared his throat, then began to speak and move the two separated sections of his hand up and down. "Kermit? Kermit are you there?"

Gonzo: So THAT’S how that sandwich talked...

On the monitor in front of Gonzo, Kermit jumped from his seat in surprise, sending coffee all over the floor. Beauregard got up from his seat to find a mop, but all of the other Muppets stared down to the head of the table at Kermit’s seat. "Uh, yeah," the frog said, stumbling over his words.

Gonzo: How do you stumble over words?

Me: Gonzo, it’s just a turn-of-phrase.

Gonzo: How do you turn a phrase?

Me: Sheesh...

"It’s me, Gonzo!" the blue weirdo said, still performing the art of puppetry.
"Gonzo?" Kermit asked, staring down at his talking pancakes as well. "But how?"

"Same way a tray of hospital spaghetti can talk to me I guess," he said. "But this is important Kermit! Robin stowed away in my suitcase, he’s here with me now."

"What?!" Kermit shouted. "But-But-Robin-he went to Frog Scouts-Sweetums saw him off!"

"He’s right here Kermit," Gonzo said. "If his hands were big enough, I’d let him talk to you."

Kermit exhaled. "Is he in danger Gonzo?" Kermit asked calmly.

Gonzo gulped. "Well, sort of," Gonzo said.

Gonzo: Uh oh, I may be in trouble here...

"Sort of? What does that mean?"

"Well, there is the threat of an alien overlord..."

"ALIEN OVERLORD?!" Kermit shouted, finally losing control.

Me: He he, gotta love Kermit’s little anger spats.

"Kermit, calm down, I’ll get him home safe, I promise," Gonzo said. "I’ll make this stay here as short as possible. Then I’ll fly back and bring Robin home safely."

Kermit shook his head. "But Gonzo, this may be your only time with your family. What if a group of me and the guys took another of the rockets and flew up to get Robin?"

Me: Oh, Kermie cares so much!! He’s such a good friend!

Gonzo: Yeah, and he’s got great health insurance...

"Kermit, I quit my stunts to be with you guys, I can’t let you endanger yourselves like that."

Onzgo gasped behind his brother when he heard that he quit doing his stunts.

Gonzo: Oh HE doesn’t know?!

"Don’t worry Gonzo, I’m sure we’ll be fine," Kermit said. "It’s just a little space flight, we’ve been through...Er...Well nothing bigger, but surely something worse," the frog smiled.

Gonzo laughed a bit. "Ok Kermit, you win. Just make sure Camilla stays back, I don’t think she’d like anti-gravity too much. You know how her giblets act up."

Gonzo: It’s true, they do. But they’re still very cute.

Me: And painful...

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Uh, no, no I don’t, and I really don’t care to. So I guess we’ll see you soon?"

"I guess so," Gonzo said. "Bye," he said, taking off the puppetry glove. "Well Robin did you hear that?" Gonzo asked turning around. "Your uncles coming to-" he stopped. Robin and Flanzgo were nowhere in sight.

Gonzo: ROBIN!??

"What is it Gonzo?" Onzgo asked, as he and Des Filmer just now turned around as well. "No! Flanzgo! No!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Robin the Frog cowered in front of a large shadow. Flanzgo was restrained behind the frog. "Hello my green little friend," Xaldin said revealing his rows of sharp teeth. "Are you ready to meet Exod? Soon-to-be ruler of all, master of manipulation-"

Me: Ooh, that guy rubs me the wrong way...

"Terrifying tyrant!" Flanzgo shouted.

"Ooh, that’s a good one princess," Xaldin said. "I’ll have to submit that one to the writers! He he he!" he laughed. "Now!" he shouted. "Enough of this, it’s time to go," he pushed Flanzgo into a pod, and grabbed Robin around his waist and hopped in as well. "Destination: Exod! Ha ha ha ha!"

Me: REFERENCE!! That's a reference to Lisa's "Destination: Home"

The door of the space pod slammed shut, and it jettisoned from the Gonzonian spacecraft.

Gonzo: We CANNOT tell Robin about this when we get back to the dorms!!

 

[Leyla]

Love the Lisa references especially, Prawnie!! Good job! Very funny!

Me: Oh, Kermie cares so much!! He’s such a good friend!

Gonzo: Yeah, and he’s got great health insurance...

<giggles> Oh, so that's why Gonzo sticks around. I still love it when you call Kermit, Kermie, my dear ushy gushy guy friend! <hugs>

 

[The Count]

Not tell Robin? But didn't Lisa read him this story already? So he should know what happened by now.

Loved the bit where Gonzo's talking through the cinnamon on the waffles to Kermit.
What, is there an echo in there?
Funny stuff... Keep it commentaring!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 12

Kermit stared down at the file folder, then up to a door. "Well, this looks like the place," he said to the other Muppets behind him.

Me: Ooh, looks like Butch and Clyde confrontation time!

"Oh Mr. Kermit sir, I am so sorry that this is the only functioning spacecraft we have left," Bunsen said.

"Not as sorry as Beaker is I’d say," Kermit scrunched up his face while Beaker shivered around the parking lot. "And anyway it’s better this way, cause can kill two birds with one stone."

Gonzo: Kermit’s gotta be careful with those puns.

"BA-GAWK!" Camilla shouted.

Gonzo: See?

"Good grief, everything’s a pun with us isn’t it?" Kermit sighed. He shook his head and rapped his fist on the door. There was no answer. He knocked once more. Still no answer.

"Well, looks like noone’s home, let’s go, maybe we can try back in a few years," Rizzo said, as he began to walk off.

Gonzo: Brave, brave Rizzo...

"Hold it there," Bobo said, pulling Rizzo back. "I worked here long enough that I know all the weak spots, watch," the bear said as he approached the door.

"Oh great, what’re ya gonna do Smokey? Start a fire?" Piggy asked sarcastically.

Me: I love this interaction between Piggy and Bobo.

"Hey," Bobo said sternly, pointing a furry brown finger at the pig. "Only you can prevent forest fires sister."

"Oh brother," Piggy grunted.

Gonzo: Piggy has a brother?

Me: *rolls eyes*

Bobo walked up to the door and tapped it gently four times in four different places. Then he gently placed his pinky finger on the door and it collapsed on the floor. "See, what did I tell you?"

The Muppets shuffled into the C.O.V.N.E.T. office building and looked around. "Hello?" Kermit called into the dark, quiet building.

Gonzo: Ooh, spooky, you should’ve brought Uncle Deadly with us.

Uncle Deadly: *pops up* You rang?

Me: AHH! Uncle D. WHAT are you doing here?!

Uncle D.: I thought I’d drop by and make sure you two weren’t slacking on your duties. Ooh, shh, I love this part.

"See, I told ya no one was home," Rizzo smirked.

"Hey look over there Kermit!" Fozzie said, pointing in the direction of a rocket ship and a charred circle of office supplies.

"That’s my rocket!" Bunsen shouted.

"Moo mo mee!" Beaker argued.

Uncle D.: How could you tell he was arguing?

Me: Well, he does it so rarely, it’s easy to tell when it happens.

Uncle D.: Mm, I see.

"Oh yes Beaker, I am sorry, our rocket," Bunsen apologized.

Kermit looked around the office once more. "Well, I guess you were right Rizzo, noone’s home."

"Well whadaya think we should do now boss?" Scooter asked.

"Well I don’t have time to wait around, I’ve got to take this rocket up and get Robin home," Kermit said, hopping into the rocket. "Dr. Honeydew, could you enter the coordinates?"

Gonzo: So they’re taking the ship?

Uncle D.: Weren’t you paying attention you twit?

Gonzo: Ooh, twit, that’s a new one!

"Oh, but of course Mr. Kermit," Bunsen said.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Robin and Flanzgo thudded against the jail cell wall as Xaldin tossed them inside. He pressed a button on the side of the cell causing lasers to shoot down from the ceiling, making bars to prevent the prisoners from escaping.

Uncle D.: Ah, and now we see the dreaded Exod in action.

"Exod will be with you in thirty minutes or less, or else you’re free! He he he he!" the monster cackled off down the corridor.

"Alright!" Robin said. "Now all we have to do is time how long it is until he gets here, and maybe we can get set free!"

Me: Little Robin, always optimistic.

Flanzgo was curled up in a corner of the cell with her knees pulled to her chest. "I don’t think so Robin," she whispered. "I think it’s time to give up."

Gonzo: And apparently my niece is not.

"Give up?" Robin asked softly. "We can’t give up princess. I was taught to never give up, no matter how bad things look!"

"Come on Robin, it’s hopeless," Flanzgo said. "We’re trapped in a jail cell under the mercy of a horrific alien overlord! How can we not give up hope?"

Me: Ooh! Song cue!! Wheee!!

Uncle D.: Has he done this the entire time?

Gonzo: Did you expect him NOT to do it?

Uncle D.: A phantom can hope...

"Well by singing a song of course!" Robin said. "It’s not that easy bein’ green
Havin’ to spend the day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer
Bein’ red or yellow or gold
Or somethin’ much more colorful like that.

"It’s not easy bein’ green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over
‘Cause you’re not standin’ our like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky."

Me: And now Flanzgo sings!

"Robin," Flanzgo said. "I’m not green. I could never be green...Look at green: Green’s the color of spring
And green can be cool and friendly like
And green can be big like an ocean
Or important like a mountain
Or tall like a tree," Flanzgo sang.

Robin nodded. "That’s the whole point Flanzgo! You got it now! When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why
But why wonder?
Why wonder?
I’m green,"

"You’re green," Flanzgo sang.

"And it’ll do fine
It’s beautiful, and I think it’s what I want to be." Robin sang.

"I get it now," Flanzgo nodded. "Even though you’re green, you never give up, right?"

"Left," Robin smiled.

Me: Eeeeee!! That’s a reference to my lovely other half Lisa!! She ALWAYS says that on MSN when we chat...

Flanzgo laughed quietly deep inside the cell.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

"Oh no...Robin..." Gonzo whispered.

"My daughter!" Onzgo shouted. "Not my daughter," he moaned. "We must do something, brother Gonzo, we must act now! Des, find Zongo. Bring him to my quarters."

Des Filmer nodded. "I’m on it."

Me: Go Des go!

Des left the room and Onzgo turned to his brother and placed his arm on his shoulder. "Gonzo, I must explain this to you, now."

Gonzo: It’s about time!

Uncle D.: Oh, he’s been left in the dark this entire time?

Me: Well you were too...Until I posted this chapter that is.

Gonzo nodded. "Alright, if it will help Robin. I’ll do anything."

"That’s good to know," Onzgo said. "Now, you must be wondering how and why you are the true ruler of the Gonzonians, correct?" Gonzo nodded. "You my brother were born after I was. Making you the second born of our father, the first Uber Gonzo. You were born on a spacecraft in the middle of a massive war between our planet, Gonzonia, and the planet of the evil overlord Exod, Exodia."

"Wait a sec," Gonzo stopped his brother. "He was named after his planet too?"

Gonzo: Interesting.

Uncle D.: Very, nice plot development here Ryan.

Me: Thanks Uncle D.

"Indeed, as it turns out, you and Exod were born at the same time, also the same time a pact was being signed between the two planets, declaring that each of you would be ruler of their respective planets after the current rulers passed on."

"But what happened? How did I get to Earth?"

Gonzo: Yeah yeah, HOW?!

Uncle D.: Not a very patient weirdo is he?

Onzgo sighed. "Exodia attacked. They threatened to destroy our entire planet if we did not declare Exod the ruler of Gonzonia as well. Naturally we refused, Gonzonians are true to their word. So, our mother, Zonzo, and our father, Ganzgo placed our entire species on two spaceships. They were on the battle craft, as were you, while I remained on the other as captain."

Me: Huh, forgot I named Gonzo’s parents...

"And then...And then they sent me out of an escape pod to Earth...Right?" Gonzo asked.

Onzgo nodded sadly. "Then the forces of Exodia wiped out our planet, and the war ship." The alien rubbed his forehead. "Luckily, I was able to blast the space station away to a far away galaxy."

"And you became Uber Gonzo?"

"You were presumed dead, along with the other half of our species on the battleship...I was the only remaining member of the royal family...I had to take the throne."

Gonzo: Well I’m NOT dead!

Uncle D.: Pity, it’s lonely ‘round this side of the spectrum.

"How did you find me? I mean, if you didn’t even know I was gone, how?"

Onzgo chuckled (for the first time since Gonzo had arrived), "We received a transmission from Earth. It was The Muppet Show."

Me: Oh I love that part...

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

"Si, I will go, hokay?" Pepe said.

"And then you’ll tell Gonzo," Rizzo told the prawn.

"Si I’ll tell him," said an annoyed Pepe.

"Good."

Uncle D.: Ah those two, always arguing over something.

"Okay Kermit, that’s everyone," Scooter told the boss standing at the doorway of the of the rocket.

Kermit gulped. "Great..." he said. Fozzie, Rizzo and Pepe boarded the ship.
As Piggy began to walk over, she was stopped by Camilla. "Byock, bawk byok, bawk bawk bagawk," she clucked.

Gonzo: Oh Camilla, that’s so sweet. Ryan, how’d you write that so beautifully?

Me: ...Um...Years of practice...I think.

Piggy frowned. "Beg pardon?"

"Byock bawk bawk bawk bagawk!" the chicken said.

"Right, sure, whatever!" she muttered. "I coulda held up that job at the T.V. station if I knew I had all this stupid alien stuff seven years ago..."

Me: REFERENCE!! Muppets From Space!!

Gonzo: I thought we agreed it was all a reference to Muppets From Space...

"Don’t worry boss, me and the gang will keep in constant contact from the theater," Scooter reminded the frog.

"That’s right Mr. Kermit, with the new Muppet Labs Tele-Transmitter!" Bunsen and Beaker ran forward, handing Kermit a seemingly normal telephone.

"Dr. Honeydew...This looks just like a regular phone," Kermit said.

Uncle D.: They all look normal at first...

"Exactly!" Bunsen shouted. "But it stretches to the outer reaches of space and never charges you for roaming!"

"Mee me mo mace!" Beaker repeated.

Me: To quote...Someone, I forget who, but the Muppets definitely need free roaming with all the other money they spend.

Kermit scrunched up his face. "You guys are always on the cutting edge..."
"Hey there Kermit," Bobo pushed forward in the crowd. "Mind if I tag along? I’d love to see Ed again," he chuckled to himself. "Baby steps sir, baby steps, heh heh."

"Well sure Bobo, no problem, we could always use another...Er...Well we could use more help," Kermit told him.

"Alright Mr. Kermit sir, the coordinates have been put in, all you have to do is flip the front switch and pull back the brakes, and you’re on your way!" Bunsen told the frog.

Me: Here they go!!

"Bring our little buddy back Kermit," Rowlf told him. "We’ll be right here waitin’ for you to get back."

"I only wish I was going," Link Hogthrob said. "After all I have had much more experience as a space captain..."

Gonzo: Yeah, he flew the Swinetrek like I drive!

Uncle D.: Badly.

Me: Fer sure.

"Hey, if any of youse guys needs an osteopath when you get back, you know which monkey to call!" Sal shouted.

"How many times to I have to tell you Sal?" Johnny asked. "It’s a boneologist, and why would you bring that cute little monkey from ‘Aladdin’ into this? He’s never available for private parties!"

Me: HA! I LOVE Johnny!

Kermit shook his head and walked to the driver’s seat of the rocket (This one being considerably bigger than Gonzo’s). He flipped the switch and released the brakes, sending flames erupting from the back.

"Down Animal, c’mon man, sit!" Floyd shouted, trying to hold onto Animal’s chain.

"SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP!" Animal shouted, finally breaking free from Floyd’s grasp. He jumped up into the door and closing it behind him.

Me: Animal! Come back Animal!

"Heh heh, looks like Animal’s becomin’ our resident ‘Rocketman!’" Dr. Teeth laughed.

Uncle D.: And the good doctor gets in his quip.

Me: Yup! And we get the commentary done!

 

[The Count]

Great as always... Will have to do until some of the other authors decide to update their stories.

Post more when you can. Oh, and about that reference to your lovely other half... Sideways!