Chapter 8
Rizzo snored loudly as he slept in his hammock. Random items of mass collecting were flying over his head.
Me: I love that line, random items of mass collecting!
Gonzo: Yeah! Most of it is in our closet!
"Rizzo?" Gonzo asked as he shuffled through his things. Rizzo snored. "Rizzo?!" Gonzo shook Rizzo’s hammock.
Rizzo slowly awoke from his slumber. "Wha-What? I didn’t eat all da corn casserole I swear..."
Gonzo: Yes he did. He eats all of everything.
"Rizzo where’d my postcards go?" Gonzo asked his roommate.
Rizzo rubbed his eyes. "Postcards? Ugh, dey’re under da sets of colored pencils, why?"
Gonzo rushed over to a stack of multi-colored pencils, throwing them behind him. "Well, on one of those postcards are the coordinates of my family’s space station."
Me: Why do you have a stack of multi-colored pencils?
Gonzo: Hey, you’re the writer.
Me: So I’ve heard...
Rizzo watched his roommate from his hammock. "So, you’re really gonna do dis?" he asked.
Gonzo turned around, he was holding a blue and a red pencil in his hand. "Yeah Rizzo, I’m really gonna do it," he said turning back to the pencils.
Gonzo: No I am not!
Me: Yes you are!
Gonzo: No I am not!
Me: Yes you are!
*Camilla waddles in furiously*
Camilla: Bawk buck buck baaaawk!!
Gonzo: Oh Camilla! Hi babe!
Rizzo jumped down from the hammock and walked over to his best friend.
"It’s not gonna be da same here without’cha ya know."
Me: ...Camilla WHAT are you doing here?
Camilla: Bagawk! Byuck buck bawk!
Me: Oh...Well if THAT doesn’t explain everything I don’t know what will...
"Yeah well, I think you’ll all survive."
"But will you?"
Gonzo stared at Rizzo. "What do you mean?"
Camilla: Baw? Buck bawk bagawk?
Gonzo: Oh, don’t worry honey, he’ll explain soon.
"Well, dat spaghetti did say dat your family was up against somet’in’ dat could wipe out your entire species. So what’s to stop it from wipin’ you out?"
Camilla: BAGAWK?! Buck byuck bagawk?!
Gonzo: Oh, Ryan wrote it.
Camilla: *furiously pecks me*
Me: OW! What did I-OW! Do to deserve-OWWW!! This?! OW!
"Well, the spaghetti also said that if I came I’d be able to defeat whatever it is they’re up against, so maybe it won’t have a chance."
Rizzo sniffed as he held back tears. "But...But what would I do without you Gonzo? I need ya bud."
"Oh Rizzo," Gonzo patted the rat on the back. "I’ll be okay," he smiled. "And if I don’t come back, who’s gonna be your roommate with all this stuff in here?"
Gonzo: Apparently Ryan will be my roommate no matter what...
Me: NOT IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND OFF OF ME!!
Rizzo laughed. "I guess you’re right. So, did ya find da postcards yet?"
Gonzo pulled out a small stack of postcards from beneath the colored pencils. "Yup, right here!" he shifted through the interstellar postcards. "An here’s the one with the coordinates! Um, Rizzo, I gotta go get these to Bunsen and Beaker at the theater, I’ll talk to you later, ok?"
"But Gonzo-"
"Later!" Gonzo shouted back as he ran down to the basement.
Rizzo shook his head and began to re-stack the colored pencil collection.
Gonzo: I hope he puts those back in the right order...
Me: I’D LIKE TO ORDER A THREE PIECE CHICKEN DINNER!!
Camilla: BAWK?!?! *continues furiously pecking me*
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Robin was at the kitchen table with a set of crayons. He was coloring on a piece of blank white paper. A boomerang fish flew over the frog’s head and Lew Zealand ran by, "Hang on Jana!" he stopped and turned to the table, he saw Robin and stopped to talk. "Hey, hey, Little Mr. The Frog! What’re you doing?" Lew asked.
Me: OWWW!! REFERENCE!! YOW! IT’S A REFERENCE TO THE MOPPET FAMILY!! OWWWW!!
Gonzo: How come he gets all the pain?
Robin looked up from his drawing at Lew. "Oh hi Lew, I’m just drawing some pictures," Robin said.
"Wow, well if you need any inspiration, just let me know and I can do my boomerang fish!" he ducked down and popped back up holding a fish in each hand. "Watch! I throw them a-way!" he threw one of the fish away and it smacked Bean Bunny in the back of the head. "And they come back to me!" he said, waiting for the fish to come back. "Hmm, Mairin needs more training..." he said, walking off.
Robin shook his head and returned to his pictures. A loud thumping was heard coming down the stairs, Robin turned back around and saw Gonzo. "Hey Gonzo, I have something for you!" Robin said.
Gonzo: Ooh, what is it? What is it??
Me: IT’S PAINFUL!!!
"Can it wait Robin? I’ve really gotta get this to Bunsen," he said waving a postcard and running past, right out the door.
Gonzo: Oh, but I wanna see what he made!
Me: OW! You will! OW!
"But...I drew it myself," Robin whispered. He grabbed a piece of paper and looked down at it. On the paper, Robin had drawn a picture of Gonzo floating in space and Robin standing on a mini Earth. At the top he’d written, "Close to my soul, and yet so far away." Robin frowned, "Well, I guess I can give it to him later," he put the picture off to the side. "But, he is going to go back there Thursday..."
Gonzo: Heh, that’s a cute reference to the song Ryan.
Me: CAMILLA WOULD LOOK CUTE WITH A SIDE OF FRIES!!
Camilla: BAGAAAAAAAAAAWK!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"
I did it Johnny’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!" Sal Manilla, Johnny Fiama’s butler’s monkey, sang.
One of the lenses in Clifford’s sunglasses cracked, he tossed them off his face. "Alright, next!" he shouted from the front row of seats in the Muppet Theater.
Me: OW! Before I-OW! Forget, this scene was-OWWW! Inspired by my good friend christyb!! OW!!
Kermit scrunched up his face as Scooter marked something on yet another checklist. "Well boss, that’s all the acts," Scooter said.
Kermit sighed. "I guess we’ll never find anyone to replace Gonzo’s act."
Gonzo: They’re REPLACING me?
"Hey," Sal shouted. "What was wrong with my act?"
Gonzo: Yeah, I liked it, it was painful.
Me: I KNOW THE FEELING!!
Johnny Fiama joined his monkey on stage. "What was wrong with it? What wasn’t wrong with it? You were insulting me Sal!"
"Sorry Johnny, I was just expressing my inner feelings," Sal shrugged.
"You’re inner feelings? Since when do you have inner feelings?"
"I’ve always had inner feelings! You just don’t pay attention to me!"
Me: OWOWOWOWOW!! I REALLY LOVE WRITING-OWWW!! JOHNNY AND SAL!! OWWW!
Gonzo: You do it pretty well too. Hey Camilla, you hungry?
Me: YES!! SHE’S HUNGRY FOR HUMAN FLESH!!
Johnny was examining his fingers. "Oh what? Sorry Sal I wasn’t paying attention. Oh and, uh, could you go get me a canolli?"
Sal sighed. "Yeah Johnny, no problem..." the monkey said as he walked off.
The front doors of the theater burst open and Gonzo darted inside. "Kermit, Kermit, Kermit! Where are Bunsen and Beaker?"
Gonzo: Hey! Look Camilla! There I am!
Camilla: *gets off of me* Baw...*lays head on Gonzo’s shoulder*
Me: Finally...A break...Finally...I’m not being henpecked...
Camilla: Bagawk! Bawk pun! BAWWK! *returns to furiously pecking me*
Kermit turned around. "Nice to see you too Gonzo, but, uh, last time I saw Bunsen and Beaker they were backstage testing something on...Er...Someone."
Gonzo: Heh, they always are...Don’t you agree Camilla?
Camilla: *pecking harder* Bawk! Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!
Gonzo: Die! Die! Die! Die! Who’s dieing?
Camilla: BAGAWWWK!
Gonzo: Oh, Ryan? Okay, have fun honey.
Me: CURSE YOU CORNEL SANDERS AND YOUR FAST FOOD CHAIN!!
"Thanks Kermit!" Gonzo said as he ran backstage still carrying a postcard. The set of postcards he had were all from his family in space, each of them telling him of how everything was going, or in the case of the special card in Gonzo’s hand, how to find them if he ever needed to.
He found Bunsen and Beaker backstage just as Kermit had said. They were standing over a gigantic speaker with Floyd Pepper, who was holding his bass. "Are you sure about this man?" Floyd asked.
Gonzo: Ooh, neat machine.
"Oh positively Mr. Pepper!" Bunsen exclaimed. "With our new Muppet Labs Agitated Amplifier you’ll be able to blast your rock and roll until you can’t rock and roll any more!"
"Mo more!" Beaker shouted.
Gonzo walked up to the front of the speaker and looked up at the scientists and their musical man. "So what? I just hit a note?" Floyd asked.
"Ooh yes, an E preferably!" Bunsen said.
Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Gonzo: Ooh, nice tone.
"Me mee me mo!"
Floyd shrugged. "Alright," he brought his hand down on a string. The speaker blared and created a small breath of wind that blew Gonzo’s hair tufts back. "Whoa man!" Floyd shouted. "This is groovy!" he said before playing a series of notes, getting harder on each one, and finally slamming down on the guitar, sending Gonzo flying across the stage in a gust of jamming bass.
Gonzo crashed on the other side of the stage, breaking through a crate. He jumped up and out of the crate and back onto the stage looking himself over.
Clifford laughed. "Got a new stunt idea, eh Gonz?" he asked.
Gonzo: You bet I do!
"No!" Gonzo shouted, making the others jump in their seats. "I’m lucky I’m not hurt!"
"Whoa man, chill out," Clifford said.
"Chill out? Chill out?! I just had a near-death experience!" Gonzo yelled.
Gonzo: Wasn’t it cool?! Oh wait, I get it! Chill out, cool, I see the next joke coming up.
"Gonzo this isn’t the first time," Kermit said.
Gonzo: That wasn’t the joke I thought about...
"Actually it’s the 41,578th time," Scooter remarked. Everyone turned to Scooter. "Well someone has to keep the numbers."
Gonzo: Hmm, I didn’t know he kept the numbers...I wonder if he’s counted how many pecks that is.
Me: ABOUT THE SAME AMOUNT AS THE AFORE-MENTIONED NUMBER!
Gonzo shook his head and stormed off the stage, back to Bunsen, Beaker, Floyd and the Agitated Amplifier. "Here," Gonzo said, handing Bunsen the postcard. "These are the coordinates I need to head to tomorrow."
"You alright man?" Floyd asked.
"Yeah, I’m fine," Gonzo muttered.
"Um, the rocket will be ready for you tomorrow Mr. Gonzo," Bunsen said.
"Mee mo mo," Beaker echoed.
"Great," Gonzo said as he left the theater through the backstage door into the alleyway.
Gonzo: Heh, "Great" "Gonzo" I like it Ryan, nice touch.
Me: OW! CAMILLA HAS AN EVIL TOUCH!
Camilla: BAWK BUCK BUCK BAGAAAAAWK!!
He began to walk out onto the sidewalk. He kicked a tin can in front of him into the street. A car drove over it, crunching it and sending it flying back at Gonzo’s feet. Gonzo looked down at the can and lifted his eye sockets. "That could be me..."
Gonzo: Ooh, neato! Hey Ryan, that can somewhat resembles you!
He heard the theater door open and close, and he heard small footsteps down the stairs. A hand sat on his shoulder, "Gonzo, you know Clifford didn’t mean what he said," Kermit said, trying to comfort the weirdo.
Gonzo nodded. "I know Kermit, I know. I’m just really under a lot of stress right now."
Me: AND I’M UNDER A LOT OF PAIN AND POULTRY RIGHT NOW!! OWWWW!!
"We all know that Gonzo, and we all feel for you. We’re all pretty stressed out right now too, ya know," Kermit said calmly. "What with the robbery, having to replace you in the show and well...You leaving Gonzo. We’ll miss you."
Gonzo: Awww...Isn’t that sweet Camilla?
Camilla: Byuck bawk bawk!
Gonzo: Oh sorry, I didn’t know you were busy.
"I’ll miss you too Kermit," Gonzo said. "I wish you all could come with me, I wish that you could just visit, and I’d visit too, then I could go back there with you."
Gonzo: HEY! I remember that! It’s a *ahem* REFERENCE!! To Ryan’s other story "Sometimes It’s Better to Go"!
Kermit smiled. "Did you make that up?" Kermit asked sarcastically.
Gonzo: No, Ryan did.
"Awhile ago, yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for seven years."
"You’ve had that long haven’t you?"
Gonzo: I dunno, Scooter keeps the numbers.
Me: And I don’t know how long-OWWW!! I can keep alive!! OWW!
Gonzo nodded slowly. "Yeah well, I’ve kept myself entertained, with some help of course."
Kermit grinned, "Glad we could be of service, now come on, let’s go back inside, it’s getting ready to rain," he said, looking up at the clouds forming in the sky above their heads. "And besides that," the frog said, pushing Gonzo towards the door. "I need your help picking someone weird and wild to replace your act. Not that we’re hard pressed to find that sort of thing around here..."
Gonzo: Cute, cute chapter. Now come on Camilla, let’s head back to the dorms!
Camilla: *get off of me* Bawk! *steps on my chest* Humph! *walks off with Gonzo*
Me: Oh...I’ll never...Eat chicken...Again...