Old Friends Who've Just Met

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 17

"Kermit!" Uncle Deadly reached his clawed blue hand towards the fire.

"PATIENCE DEADLY, PATIENCE," Death placed a bony hand onto Uncle Deadly’s shoulder. "THIS IS NOT OVER YET."

Me: Ooh hoo hoo hoo! I LOVE this chapter!! Gonzo, you brought the Kleenex, right?

Gonzo: Yup!

Me: Good, we’re gonna need them...

Uncle Deadly turned his blue head grimacing at Death. "Not over? They have fallen Death! We must go there now!"

"YOU ARE BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE THE OTHER FOOLS HERE MY OLD FRIEND, TRUST ME. PATIENCE IS THE KEY." Death reassured the phantom.

Deadly inhaled through his nostrils. The dragon-like creature returned his focus to the fire and hoped beyond all hope that Death was right.

Me: Oh me too!!

Gonzo: You?! You’re not halfway down the chasm!

Me: *sings* Halfway down the chasm is a cliff where I hang...

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

"SAVE FROG! SAVE FROG!" Animal repeated as he ran through the halls of the Exodian space port.

"Yeah yeah! Robin needs us!" Fozzie said.

"Si si, even little frogs need helps, hokay?" Pepe chimed in as he and Rizzo ran along side Fozzie.

Bobo hobbled in with Piggy wiped out on his shoulder. "Hey guys?" Bobo panted. "Slow down, Piggy can’t jog...She...Passed out..." Bobo said.

Me: DOUBLE REFERENCE!! One to The Muppets Take Manhattan and another to my story "Sometimes it’s Better to Go."

Butch and Clyde tagged behind the others. "Hey, hey Butch?" Clyde asked his boss. "Are we good guys now?"

"Well...Uh...Yeah I guess, it seems like these guys here need our help, although, we aren’t licenced psychiatrists, so we can’t help that much," Butch said as they both continued towards the throne room.

Me: That is so true...

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Gonzo and Kermit fell down the crack on the planet’s surface that Exod had opened. "Kermit! Don’t let go of my hand!" Gonzo called down.

Gonzo: EEEE!!

"I wasn’t going to!" Kermit called back clenching Gonzo’s furry blue hand with all his might.

Gonzo scanned the rocky sides of the cracked wall, he saw an opportunity and grabbed it, literally. He reached out his free hand and held onto a ledge of cliff halfway down the hole.

Gonzo: OH WHAT A CATCH!

Me: And you didn’t even have a glove.

"Kermit, are you alright?" Gonzo asked, still feeling the presence of Kermit’s hand in his.

"I’ve been in better situations," Kermit gulped.

Gonzo: I WOULD THINK SO!

Gonzo breathed recklessly. "Please don’t leave me Kermit," Gonzo said.

Me: *grabs Kleenex*

Kermit gulped. "I won’t Gonzo, I promise."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Exod’s laugh echoed through the halls and the throne room, he had won.

Me: NO!

Gonzo: NOOOOO!

Or so he thought, Onzgo hoisted himself up off the floor. "Exod!" he cried in rage.

Me: HAHAHA! Take THAT Exod!

Exod turned back to the leader of the Gonzonians. "Onzgo," he nodded.

"You have taken this too far!" Onzgo stamped his foot. "Not only have you not released the Earthling prisoners, but you have destroyed my brother!"

"I love it when my work goes appreciated," Exod said as he began to stroll over towards Onzgo.

Gonzo: I HATE that guy!

Me: Me too Gonzo, me too.

"I will wipe you out!"

"You would try."

Me: Beau loved this scene...

Onzgo closed his eyes and inhaled. "This is the last straw," he said calmly.

"Daddy don’t," Flanzgo reached a chained hand towards her father.

"Let me be," Onzgo told her. He reached to the top of his head and took off his jeweled crown. His head reached to nearly the top of where the crown would have been.

Me: I love this scene too!!

Gonzo: I haven’t been this nervous since my last stunt with the safety pins!
"And just what do you plan on doing with that thing?" Xaldin cackled out from the top of the throne.

Onzgo turned his tall head to the throne, he stuck out his three fingers and pointed them towards the creature. "This!" he shouted, sending Xaldin flying back against the wall in a blast of psychic power.

Me: OH SNAP!

Gonzo: You do realize you’ve got Uncle Deadly and Ed on your back for that now.

Me: *shrug* I enjoy it...

Onzgo stood battle ready staring Exod in the eyes. "It is time," the UberGonzo said loudly. Onzgo charged forward towards the arch ruler Exod without fear.

Gonzo: ONZGO!!!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Kermit held tightly to Gonzo’s right hand with both of his, and Gonzo held onto the ledge with his left.

"Kermit...I’m so sorry..." Gonzo finally said.

"Gonzo...You have nothing to be sorry for, you’ve done nothing wrong!" Kermit argued.

Me: OHHHH!! Gonzo GIVE ME those Kleenex!!

"Oh but Kermit...I brought you all here on this crazy space journey...Now we’re all basically doomed...Oh Kermit..."

Kermit smiled and looked up at Gonzo. "This looks familiar
Vaguely familiar
Almost unreal yet
It’s too soon to feel yet
Close to my soul
And yet so far away
I’m going to go back there someday," Kermit sang softly.

Me: OH IT’S THE SOOOOONG!!

Gonzo: MY song!!

Me: And mine too!

Gonzo: Who said?

Gonzo looked down at his friend with his huge nose. "Sun rises, night falls
Sometimes the sky calls
Is that a song there?
And do I belong there?
I’ve never been there
But I know the way
I’m going to go back there someday," Gonzo chimed in.

"Come and go with me
It’s more fun to share
We’ll both be completely
At home in midair," Gonzo continued.

"We’re flyin’ not walking
On featherless wings
We can hold onto love
Like invisible strings," Kermit finished the verse.

"There’s not a word yet
For old friends who’ve just met," both friends sang in harmony.

"Part heaven, part space
Or have we found our place?" both of them nodded at once.

"You can just visit," Kermit sang alone.
"And I’ll visit too."

"I’m going to go back there with you," they both finished the song.

Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEE!! That is the BEST SONG EVER!!

"Yeah," Gonzo nodded.

Gonzo: Yeah.

"We love you you know Gonzo," Kermit smiled.

"I know Kermit, I know. I love you guys too."

Me: *sniff sniff* *blows nose in Kleenex*

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Xander and Xaldin watched as Exod and Onzgo did battle with each other, Exod erupting geysers and Onzgo hurling psychic energy. "Go boss!" Xander called.

Xaldin tipped his head towards him. "You should be a cheerleader," he said sarcastically.

"Oh I was," Xander replied.

Me: HA! I forgot that part!

Xaldin slapped his head, so he had his hand over his eyes when Piggy and the others ran into the throne room.

"Miss Piggy!" Robin shouted from his chains on the wall.

The frog’s small voice didn’t stop the fighting for a second, Exod and Onzgo continued to attack each other with their respective powers.

Fozzie gulped. "Oh Piggy...Do we have to?" he whined.

Me: Of course you do!!

"You better believe it bub!" Piggy growled.

"Nice alliterations, hokay?"

Me: HA!

"Don’t worry Robin, Piggy’s comin’!" Rizzo called over.

"Yeah, and so are you!" Piggy grabbed Rizzo by the jacket and dragged him along. When none of the others followed, Piggy shot them a glare making them hop to it.

Xaldin began to get annoyed. "How many of these Earthlings are there?"

Me: One thing you’ve gotta learn about the Muppets, they always come in groups!

"Hey!" Robin called to the alien. "One thing you should learn about the Muppets, we always come in groups!"

Me: Yeah! That!

Gonzo: Dang writers...

Xaldin hissed at the frog and jumped off the throne landing right in front of the others. "Hello Earthlings, come to join the party, eh?"

"Oh there’s a party!" Clyde said. "Butch, we should’ve brought an appetizer!"
Butch shook his head. "Every time there’s a party you forget one Clyde! Every time!"

Me: Those two! I love ‘em!

Xaldin blinked. "Are these guys for real?"

"Oh yeah," Piggy rolled her eyes. "They really are that dumb."

"How come you guys are getting all the good jokes?" Fozzie asked.

Me: Poor Fozzie.

"Blame da writers," Rizzo said.

Xaldin tilted his head. "Excuse me, but I came here to fight you and..."
"Oh no excuse us little fella," Bobo said. "Please go right ahead."

Gonzo: Gotta love Bobo.

"Thank you," Xaldin replied. He jumped into action and camouflaged into the room.

"Look what ya did Clyde, you scared ‘im off!" Butch yelled.

"I did not, he just turned-" Clyde was knocked over.

"He he he he!" cackling echoed around the Muppets.

"What the-" Pepe started before he was picked up off the ground and hurled across the room.

Me: Flying shrimp!

Gonzo: That’s not even funny.

Rizzo began to hop around in fear, "Oh my go-Where did he-How are we gonna-OH SOMEONE HELP US!" the rat shouted.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Gonzo looked up. "Rizzo?" he whispered. "Rizzo!" he shouted in realization. "Kermit we’ve gotta do something!"

Kermit’s fingers were beginning to numb. "There isn’t much we can do Gonzo!"

"But we have to help them! We just have to!"

Kermit frowned. "We can’t..."

Gonzo: WE HAVE TO!!!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Flanzgo watched in horror as her father was hit with a geyser, then regained happiness as Onzgo blasted Exod with psychic energy. She looked down at her hands, her wrists were still chained, she looked down the chains, they stretched all the way to the back wall. She looked at the back wall, Zongo was still knocked out, hanging silently, and Robin...Robin shouted, cheering on his friends from Earth, but Flanzgo could see through him, he was hurting inside, his uncle had fallen. Her uncle had fallen as well.

Gonzo: I’M her uncle!!

She crawled over to the crack in the floor dragging her chains behind her. "Uncle Gonzo! Can you hear me?!" she shouted down the hole.

"Flanzgo?" Gonzo’s voice echoed up. "Flanzgo! Can you help us?"

Me: She caaaaaaaan!

Flanzgo looked around. "I...I don’t know...How far down are you?"

There was no response for a second. "Probably about thirteen feet!"

"How do you know that?" Kermit’s froggy voice asked.

"It’s a weirdo thing."

Me: OH I LOVE THAT PART!!

Flanzgo looked around. "There’s nothing here for me to throw down!" she began to breath recklessly, "I’ll think of something! I promise!" she put her hands up to her mouth to make her voice louder. She looked down at her wrists. "Wait! I’ve got it!" she threw her hands over the side letting the chains fall down the chasm. And as Kermit’s fingers began to slip from Gonzo’s grasp, the two friends began to realize that Flanzgo was their last hope.

Me: GO Flanzgo GO!!

 

[The Count]

Mmm... Delicious commentary, thank you Ryan. The song and the chains and the fights and the everything... Now please post more of either this or the new story.

Oh, and before I take my leave... Get him Uncle D!
*Lightning shoots from the phantomly dragon's palms... Me thinks this knave has yet to learn his lesson.

Then keep blasting him, just as Camilla pecked him when he wouldn't lay off the egg jokes.
Uncle D: Certainly my fiend...
*Keeps blasting with lightning palms.

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 18


Me: This may in fact be my favorite chapter.

"Okay you rats, move that thing, yeah over there, uh huh," Scooter shouted to some rats carrying a piece of scenery for Miss Piggy’s pig musical number for the next show. "Hey hey, wait," Scooter stopped the rodents. "Phil, what are you doing?"

Me: Now, up there see where it says "pig musical number" well actually that’s a typo. It’s supposed to say "big musical number."

Gonzo: Big, pig, what’s the difference?

Me: I would duck next time you see Piggy...

Scooter asked a tall headed Muppet wearing medical goggles, gloves and an apron who was helping the rats with the scenery. "Oh, well you know, I’m just trying to help out my little vermin companions here Scooter sir," Dr. Phil van Neuter told the go-fer.

Me: Hey! It’s Dr. Phil!

Gonzo: I don’t think he’s a real doctor...

Scooter shook his head. "No no Phil, we hired you as a veterinarian, not a stage-hand."

"Not that he was qualified for either," Rowlf remarked.

Me: I love Rowlf’s little quips...

"Oh sure," Dr. van Neuter said. "Hire me as a vet, oh, and why don’t you give me an assistant, Mulch, than use him as an extra in a movie and not me! Yeah, yeah, fine! Humph, c’mon rats, let’s go!" the doctor said escorting the rats off stage all except a larger one in a white under shirt.

"Hey der Scooter, don’t let da doc get to ya, he’s a few scalpels short of a dissection kit, if ya know what I mean," Bubba the Rat told Scooter.
Me: Hey! It’s Bubba!

"Yeah Bubba I know, I know," Scooter scribbled something off his list. "We wouldn’t’ve hired ‘im if you hadn’t convinced us that his other job at the C.O.V.N.E.T. alien hospital didn’t bomb," Scooter muttered.

"Did somebody say bomb?!" Crazy Harry jumped up from behind Scooter and pressed down on his dynamite plunger exploding dynamite in the rafters above making them crash down into the seats.

Me: Ah, the old jokes are always the best...

Gonzo: Unless you’re Fozzie.

Scooter covered his eyes and shook his head. "No way we’re gonna have a show ready when Kermit gets back..."

Uncle Deadly had come to check up on the Muppets after the explosion. If Kermit gets back. He thought to himself.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Gonzo watched as the chains came into view above his head, stopping six feet above his head.

Gonzo looked down at Kermit and growled. "Kermit, I’m gonna lift you up, grab the ledge!"

Gonzo: OH BE CAREFUL GONZO!!

Me: He’s talking to himself again...

Kermit gulped letting a finger slip out of Gonzo’s grasp. "Okay Gonzo."

Gonzo lifted his hand hoisting Kermit up, one of the frog’s hands fell loose. Gonzo lifted faster bringing Kermit up to the ledge. "Grab on!" Gonzo shouted urgently.

Kermit extended his free hand and grabbed onto the ledge. He let his other hand fall free of Gonzo’s and grabbed on with it as well. Gonzo did the same.

Gonzo: Oh thank goodness!

"Flanzgo, we can’t reach it!" Gonzo called up the chasm.

Flanzgo moaned. "Oh Uncle Gonzo hold on please! I’ll get help!"

"Gonzo?" Fozzie overheard. "Hey, hey Piggy, I think that girl over there said Gonzo was down that hole over there!" Fozzie told the kung-fu fighting pig.

"Oh yeah right," Piggy said as she karate chopped the thin air. "Gonzo’s on the space station with Kermit!" she was wacked in the back and she turned to hit back, but missed the invisible alien.

Gonzo: Oh well she certainly pays attention...

"Gonzo, is Kermit still alright?" Flanzgo called down.

"Kermie?!" Piggy shouted. "HI-YA!" Piggy screamed, kicking the invisible Xaldin in the side, making him visible again and knocking him over. "Humph," she snorted. "That’ll teach you to mess with a platinum princess," Piggy flipped her hair out of her face and scooted over to Flanzgo’s side. "How may moi help dear?" Piggy asked.

Me: Well if that won’t get a pig going...

Flanzgo looked into the lady pig’s eyes. "The chains, they won’t reach!"

Piggy stared down the hole and inhaled deeply. "Alright, I’m going to grab your feet and lower down a bit, alright?"

Me: I really really love this scene.

Flanzgo nodded fast as Piggy grabbed her feet and drooped her down the side. When Flanzgo was lowered Piggy’s arms length Flanzgo called down again. "Can you get it Uncle Gonzo?!"

Gonzo’s breath was reckless, he reached up his free hand and missed the chain by a few feet. "It’s still too short!"

Piggy’s face clammed up as Flanzgo’s weight began to weigh down on her dainty diva arms. "Fozzie! Help!" she called to the bear.

Fozzie turned around and gasped. He began to bite his fingers.

"Um...Um...Okay, okay, I’ll go get help, gotta go get help...Um...Um..."

Me: No Fozzie go help!

Gonzo: Yeah Fozzie HURRY!

"No Fozzie you help! NOW!"

Me: Yeah! That!

"Oh oh, gotcha gotcha!" Fozzie ran over to grab Piggy by the ankles. "Okay, gonna lower you down, lower you down...Oh, I can’t look!" Fozzie let go of one of Piggy’s feet to cover his eyes as Piggy was sent halfway over.

"Grab me grab me GRAB ME!!" Piggy screamed as Fozzie re-grabbed her ankle and lowered her down the rest of the way.

Me: Have I mentioned that I love this chapter?

Piggy’s scream awoke Zongo from his unconsciousness. He looked around and saw Robin hanging next to him. "What-Where are we?"

Robin turned his head to Zongo. "Well, uh, I’m not exactly sure, but Mr. Onzgo, and Exod are fighting, and everyone else is trying to save my Uncle Kermit and Gonzo from down that cliff."

Zongo gasped. This was not going well at all.


Me: Huh, what makes him think that...

"How ‘bout now Kermie?" Piggy called down.

"No! We can’t get it!" Kermit’s voice called back to Piggy.

Me: Oh their voices!! Calling back to each other! How sweet!

Gonzo: That probably wasn’t meant to be ushy gushy when you wrote it...

"Um...Help!" Fozzie cried as he began to slip down with Piggy and Flanzgo below him. "We are falling!!"

Butch turned his blue head over and saw the others falling. "Uh-oh, Clyde, take care of this, I gotta help!" he ran off, tossing Clyde a beat-up Xaldin from his hands.

Me: Ha! Poor Clyde.

"But-But..." Clyde stuttered. "Butch, don’t be a hero!" Clyde called after his best friend.

Butch turned around laughed at Clyde. "Heh, there’s a first time for everything bud!" he said before continuing over to Fozzie’s feet.

Me: Ah! That there was a torture line a gave to Lisa and Leyla awhile back.

"What’s goin’ on?" Butch asked, grabbing Fozzie’s feet before he even had an answer.

"The chains won’t reach, lower me down, we’ve got to help our friends at the bottom!" Fozzie replied.

"Right!" Butch nodded.

Gonzo: OH PLEASE LET THE CHAINS REACH!!

Flanzgo began to whimper as she was lowered down more. "Uncle Gonzo," she cried. "Please, please tell me it reaches!"

Gonzo grabbed up and got hold of the chains, Kermit grabbed the other chain. When they let go of the ledge, their weight pulled down on Flanzgo making all of the ones above her jerk down as well.

Me: I had so much mathematical trouble writing this chapter...See at the beginning I said that the chains stopped six feet above Gonzo, and then I started lowering down Muppets and I had to figure out how many of them were six feet...It was a mess. Almost as messy as trying to figure out the math of me and my other half giving each other high fives.

"PULL UP PULL UP!!" Piggy screamed in fear.

Butch began to pull backwards. "I can’t! It’s too heavy!"

Me: Oh Piggy, always weight conscious...

Gonzo: As she should be.

Me: You’re not gonna be conscious at all once she gets a hold of you...

"Watch it bub!" Piggy shouted back.

"His name’s Butch!" Clyde shouted as he grabbed onto his best friend and began to pull as well. "C’mon pull!"

Bobo grabbed onto Clyde’s furry pink back and pulled with all his strength, "I gotcha small fry, don’t fret!"

"Hey, who ya callin’ small fry?" Rizzo asked as he grabbed Bobo’s leg with his entire body and tried to pull.

"Si si, we aren’t small fries, hokay? We are small onjon rings!" Pepe pulled Rizzo’s tail with all four arms.

Me: Oh Pepe, you silly silly prawn.

"PULL PULL!" Animal chanted as he pulled Pepe and the others along finally making a bit of headway moving the chain of Muppets inch by inch.

Eight Muppets and an alien princess were either dangling or precariously perched over the side of a bottomless chasm, pulling with all of their might to save a frog and a whatever. Just another day in the life of the Muppets.

Gonzo: Ain’t it the truth...

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Exod stuck out his hand, causing a pointed rock to fly up from the ground. Onzgo jumped back before it could hit him and sent a blast of psi-energy through the rock and towards Exod, who dodged and glared towards the alien ruler.

Me: I REALLY love this chapter!!

The ruckus stopped for a moment as the two rulers stared back into each other’s eyes.

"We...Are even..." Exod breathed out.

Onzgo controlled his breathing, he couldn’t show signs of weakness. "I would sacrifice my entire being to destroy you."

Gonzo: *wide eyes*

Exod didn’t know how to respond, so he erupted geysers in a circle around Onzgo. Onzgo took control of the steam with his mind and blew it back into the ground causing it to crack all around the floor.

"Do not test my power," Exod barked.

"I already have," Onzgo said calmly. "And you have failed!" he shouted with an extended hand and a blast of energy, knocking Exod on his back side.

Me: WOOOOOO!!!

"My lord! My lord my lord my lord!" Xander shouted as he darted over to Exod’s side. "Are you okay?"

Me: AUGH! Xander stay AWAY!

Gonzo: What’s going on?

Exod glared up into his servant’s eyes as Onzgo prepared another attack. As Onzgo fired, Exod grabbed Xander by the neck and hurled him into the line of fire.

Gonzo: *collapses*

Me: Oh...Oh Xander...I’m sorry...

The psi-beam hit Xander directly, sending him flying back against a nearby wall. The loyal servant fell from the wall to the ground silently and stayed that way.

Onzgo fell to his knees. "What have you done?!" he said.

Me: *blows in Kleenex*

"I have done what was necessary to win!" Exod stood up from the ground.

Me: YOU HEARTLESS FIEND!!!

Onzgo shook his large head. "But winning...Is more important to you...Than your own brother?"

Me: And THAT is where the fact that Exod kills Xander kills you inside too.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Death stroked his long wooden scythe. He pondered life, death, the pursuit of happiness...The usual. Life, the Muppets all lived, they lived well. The Muppets died, or at least Uncle Deadly did anyway, and Statler and Waldorf couldn’t be too far behind. Happiness...This one was tough. The Muppets tried to always remain happy and care free, but, when they get themselves into the situations such as they were in now, the pursuit of happiness seemed farther away.

Me: It took me awhile to write that paragraph...

Uncle Deadly reentered his private room quietly, Death didn’t notice his arrival. The phantom watched his employer and his scythe, the two were never separated. Uncle Deadly approached the cloaked arch angel. "The Muppets are doing well Death," the dragon-like creature informed.

Death nodded his hooded head. "I EXPECTED NO LESS."

Me: *nods*

"What about the others?" Uncle Deadly asked intently.

"SEE FOR YOURSELF, I THINK YOU’LL BE PLEASANTLY SURPRISED," Death motioned towards the roaring fire with his bony hand.

Gonzo: But what about Xander?!

Uncle Deadly strolled to the fire and looked intensely into the flames. He saw the chain of Muppets sprawled out across the throne room floor and smiled. "They do know how to handle things," he chuckled.

"NO MATTER HOW ODDLY THEY DO IT," Death replied.

Me: Hehe!

"Well you can’t use the word ‘Muppet’ without having the word ‘odd’ to accompany it."

Me: Too true, too true.

"I’VE COME TO REALIZE THAT OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS."

Uncle Deadly grimaced, "Try being with them for thirty years my friend, you learn a lot more."

"YOU’VE DUG YOUR OWN GRAVE UNCLE DEADLY, METAPHORICALLY AND PHYSICALLY," Death said from inside his hood.

Uncle Deadly laughed once more. "And I have come to learn that over the past few years my old friend."

Me: Those two are really good together...

Death turned his head and looked directly at Deadly’s blue face. "AND THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT UNCLE DEADLY, ALL LIFE IS ALWAYS TEETERING ON THE BRINK OF LIVING AND DYING, SO WHEN DEATH DOES FINALLY COME, ALL LIFE FORMS ARE TRULY OLD FRIENDS WHO’VE JUST MET."

Me: And THAT is where the title comes into play!! Man oh man! This is the best chapter!!

Uncle Deadly smiled and placed his clawed blue hand on the black cloak. "You know, they really do need a word for that."

Gonzo: It’s effective either way.

Both friends laughed, Death’s laugh was warmer and gentler than usual, perhaps because of the suddenly roaring fire at their feet.

Uncle Deadly glanced down at the flames. "Death, what’s going on with the fire? The picture’s been muddled."

Death stood up in a flash. "DEADLY, STAY HERE," he told the phantom.

Me: Oh no...

"What? Why? Where are you going Death?" Deadly tried to protest, but it was no use, Death disappeared in an eruption of black flames around his body. Uncle Deadly jolted back to the fire, he stared hard into it. He began to realize where Death had gone. He just hoped he wouldn’t return with one of his friends in his arms.

Me: *deep breath* It gets really intense after this...

Gonzo: I can’t wait!

Me: Well you’re gonna have to! We’ve got a party to get ready for!

 

[The Count]

Not to mention the party's partly in your honor, o honored auteur.
Love the commentary... But moreso, I rully like the image of the Muppets chain lowering themselves to rescue the frog and thw whatever... And the jovial conversation between Death and Deadly, before the former left to fetch the new soul to cross over.
Please keep it coming, not much left!

 

[Beauregard]

I have a confession. Or maybe two? No, just one. I didn't finish reading this story until today.

Actually, it's two. I had two chapters left that I didn't read until this afternoon. I'm sorry.

But I have to tell you that within just the final two chapters I cried, and I smiled, and I laughed, and I "Awwww"ed. Uncle Deadly's mention of his funeral...it brings tears to be eyes each time I think about it, it really does.

I'm very sorry that I didn't comment on (or finish) this story before, but, it was amazing.

 

[The Count]

Please... Ryan prawny sir... Can we have some more please? Commentary, that is. Please?

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 19

Flanzgo felt her feet come back to the ground. "Uncle Gonzo, I’m at the top, you two are just at the bottom of my chains!"

All of the Muppets behind Flanzgo were pulling with all their might. Piggy’s face scrunched up as she used all of the strength from her karate chopping arms, Fozzie was glad that she was using that strength to help, and not hurt; him.

Me: Hehe! I’d be happy about that too Foz!

Flanzgo’s body was up enough on the cliff that she could stand and hold onto her chains with both hands and now able to help pull. "Come on you Muppets, we’re almost there!"

Me: Ooh! She called them "you Muppets" neat!

Piggy’s purple gloved hands wrapped around Flanzgo’s waist, Fozzie grabbed Piggy carefully, as not to touch anything he wasn’t supposed to. Butch held onto Fozzie with his brute strength, and Clyde tugged on the blue monster’s waist while Animal, Bobo, Rizzo and Pepe used all ten of their arms at once to save their friends inside the chasm.

Gonzo: *counts the arms to double check*

Me: *does the same* Pity Scooter isn’t here, we need someone to keep the numbers.

Gonzo: Should I count his arms too?

The slack of the chains reached the top of the cliff and slid along the throne room floor while the others began to step back in unison with each other in their arms.

Finally, a green hand and a blue hand were seen by the group (Or at least, those in the group that didn’t have their eyes closed from pulling so hard, which were about two of them).

Gonzo: Which two was that?

Me: I don’t know!

When the bodies of the two friends finally came to the top, the instant loss of weight sent the "chain" gang flying backwards on top of one another.

Me: Forgot I called them the "chain" gang.

Kermit and Gonzo lay on their stomachs, finally feeling land as opposed to suspension. "Kermit..." Gonzo said. "We’re okay."

Gonzo: WHOOPIE!!

Flanzgo carefully set herself up from on top of Miss Piggy. "Sorry Miss Piggy," she said.

"Oh, no problem at all dear," Piggy said. "Now," she grunted. "Could you...Ugh...Help me up?"

"Yes...Please help her up..." Fozzie moaned from beneath the pounds of weight.

Me: HA!

Flanzgo grasped Piggy’s hand and pulled her up, Fozzie and all of the others stood up as well.

"Oh Kermie!" Piggy shouted running to her green groom.

Me: *sings* Uuuushy gushy...

"Gonzo Gonzo Gonzo!!" Rizzo squealed as he ran past the others towards the weirdo.

"Rizzo buddy!" Gonzo said.

"Ooh, hey look over there Butch!" Clyde said. "It’s one of those wrestling matches you love to watch on pay-per view!"

"That ain’t no wrestlin’ match! ...Although those outfits do look like wrestling garb." Butch stroked his chin.

Me: Those two...

Gonzo: Are about as smart as Beauregard.

"What?" Gonzo asked. He turned around and witnessed his one and only brother engage Exod in life-threatening combat.

"Robin!" Kermit pointed to the wall. "Animal, Butch, get him down! And Ed too!"

Me: Of COURSE Kermie notices Robin!

Gonzo: It’s KERMIT! NOT Kermie! KERMIT!

Me: Sorry...

"Oh, hey, I can get him Kermit," Bobo said. "Us C.O.V.ie’s gotta stick together," the bear smiled. All of the Muppets ran to the wall, all except Gonzo and Flanzgo.

The two aliens stared across the chasm and at the leader of their people. A psi-wave split across the room towards Exod, who dodged, and countered with a shard of broken rock from a pillar he brought up from the ground. "Uncle Gonzo," Flanzgo placed her hand on her uncle’s shoulder.

Gonzo gulped. "I have to help him."

Gonzo: YEAH YOU DO!!

Me: You know they have pills for talking to yourself.

Gonzo: Speaking of which, have you taken your ushy gushy pills mister?

Me: *shifty eyes*

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

The black flames erupted in a roar in front of Xander’s motionless body. Death emerged from the flames and moved toward the body. He shook his head slowly. "THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN," he sighed. He picked the alien up into his arms and stepped back into the still flowing black flames.

Me: Ooh! Death on Gonzonia!

Gonzo: But only Xander has died.

Me: ...

The slight distraction wasn’t enough to turn away the violence ensuing between the two enemies that were Exod and Onzgo.

Gonzo ran over to the outer lining of the pseudo ring that was drawn around them. "Onzgo! Let me help you!"

"Gonzo, you can help by getting your friends and family out of here! Now!" his brother shouted back.

Me: Oh Onzgo...He’s really at the end of his rope here.

Gonzo turned his body back to the wall where the prisoners hung. Zongo and Robin had been successfully removed from the wall and their chains, thanks to a little help from Animal. Gonzo turned back to his brother. "Alright, Onzgo I’ll get my family out of here, when can you come with us?" Gonzo asked.

Gonzo: Ooh! Nice job Gonz!

Me: Sheesh...

Onzgo blasted Exod with a shot of psi-power, knocking him on his side. "I will not be going with you my brother." Onzgo said courageously.

Gonzo rose his eyebrows. "What? Of course you are, let’s go!"

Gonzo: They’re actually eyelids.

Me: Whatever.

Gonzo: Yes?

Me: Good grief...

Onzgo shook his head slowly. "The only way to bring Exod’s terror to an end...Is for me to use all of my psychic powers in one mind-blowing blast. Literally."

Me: WHAHAHA!

Gonzo: *collapses*

Me: That too.

Gonzo’s could barely breath. "But...But...You can’t..."

Onzgo smiled. "Do not worry for me my brother, it is every Gonzonian’s wish to go out with such a bang! Let me live out my last act audaciously, courageously and all around groovy-like."

Me: Mm! Do it Onz! This is your ride! Take it all the way!

Gonzo smiled back at his brother for the last time. "I understand completely. I’ll miss you," he hugged his brother.

Onzgo hugged back. "I will miss you too little brother. I love you, be sure to let my dear Flanzgo and all of my friends to know the same."

Me: *sniffs* Where are those Kleenex?!

"I will, I promise."

Onzgo grasped his brother’s hand with both of his. "Take care of them Gonzo," he said quickly before darting off.

A tear slipped from Gonzo’s eye down his long nose and hit the floor. "Goodbye," he said to his brother quietly and gathered his friends. "We have to get out of here, and fast," he told all eleven of the people who gathered around him looking for guidance.

"But how?" Robin asked. "We’re stuck here!"

Me: Oh! Innocent little Robin!

"Yeah we don’t even have a spaceship!" Rizzo said.

Gonzo looked around, "We need to find a place where we can contact Des Filmer, he said he’d bring a ship when we needed him!"

Me: Good thinking. It’s almost as good as the writing...

"Well dis es a good idea, hokay?" Pepe said. "But how are we going to find a transmissions room?"

"Maybe he could help us," Kermit pointed towards Xaldin who was propped up against a wall, nursing his wounds.

Me: Oh Kermie! Always willing to cooperate with anyone!

Gonzo: *wakes back up* IT’S KERMIT!!

"Kermit, are you crazy?" Fozzie asked. "He’s the bad guy!" the bear whispered.

Gonzo took one last look around the throne room. "It looks like we don’t have any other choice! C’mon!" the weirdo ran off with all of the other Muppets following behind him.

Gonzo: What’d I miss?

Me: The chapter.

Gonzo: Oh...Pity.

Flanzgo stood with her eyes glued on her father’s attempt to distract Exod as his prisoners escaped.

"Flanzgo we have to go!" Zongo told her.

"I...I can’t...I won’t...I won’t leave my father."

"It’s what your father wants princess," Zongo tried to tell her.

Me: Oh I love this scene...It was one of the first I envisioned.

Flanzgo’s knees buckled, she fell at Zongo’s feet. Zongo kneeled down and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You must princess. It is your royal duty."

He took the alien by the hand and pulled her along with him towards Xaldin and the rest of the gang. Flanzgo cried, Zongo’s eyes began to mist and Onzgo prepared to die.

Me: Gonzo give me those dang Kleenexes!!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

Death returned to the Muppet Theater with Xander’s motionless body in his arms. He lay the alien’s body down on the ragged couch inside Uncle Deadly’s quarters.

Uncle Deadly walked up behind Death slowly. "What...What has happened to him?"

Death stood up straight. "HIS BROTHER. HE HAS FINALLY BEEN FREED FROM HIS BROTHER."

Me: *nods* That’s right Death.

Uncle Deadly placed his hand on the alien’s chest. "But he’s..."

Death nodded. "HE HAS DIED. AND THAT IS THE ONLY WAY HE COULD BE FREE."

Gonzo: Wow...

Uncle Deadly sighed. "What will we be doing with him?"

"I HAVE NOT DECIDED YET." Death declared. "BUT ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN, EXOD WILL NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH XANDER’S SOUL EVER AGAIN."

"And Exod is his brother...?" Deadly asked.

Me: Duh, where have YOU been...

"YES, AND THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ENDANGERING THE LIVES OF YOUR FRIENDS."

Deadly nodded. "Than perhaps it really is best for this one to stay away."

Death had a sudden thought. "PERHAPS NOT," he said. "PERHAPS HE DOES HAVE A USE BACK ON HIS PLANET OF EXODIA. BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL."

Me: Ooh!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

​

"We interrupt this fan-fiction for a Muppet Newsflash!" the Muppet Newsman said from behind his desk. "Our studio has just been informed that the tour bus carrying the Senior Citizen Penguin vacation club has crashed on a beach near San Francisco, California! One can only wonder how those poor penguins; who are used to such chilled environments; are handling the hot summer day."

Gonzo: WHAT?! You interrupted THAT for THIS?!

Me: *innocent*

Suddenly, a group of penguins fell from above the Newsman’s head. "Whack quack quack whack!" the penguins quacked around the newsroom.

Me: This is one of my favorite parts of the story...

"What is going on here?" the Newsman asked.

A penguin ran up with a cue card in his hands and held it up in front of him, it read, "DANCE."

Me: HAHA! ZANY!!

Gonzo: You’re not kidding...

"This is no dance hall! This is a newsroom!" the Newsman said.

The penguin held up another cue card from his stack that read, "AWW."

"Don’t try that sympathy with me Zany! This is no time for cue cards!"

"SIGH" the next cue card Zany held up read.

Me: Hehehe! I love that penguin!

Gonzo: I’m sure Hilda will be happy to hear that...

"Will you please knock it off you insane penguin! The heart rates of the readers are dropping rapidly!" the Newsman shouted. "Oh no!" he shouted, looking up as crates of heart shaped chocolate that fell from above, burying him underneath.

Me: I LOVE it!!

Zany held up another cue card that read, "AHH." He looked down at it and shook his head, he shifted through his pile of cards and found a different one, he held up his last cue card reading "LAUGH." Zany and all of the other penguins continued to dance around the studio and laugh.

The Muppet Newsman poked his bedraggled head from beneath the candy. "Ugh...We now return you to our regularly scheduled fan-fiction..."

Me: Nope, now we return to our regularly scheduled dorm room.

Gonzo: WHAT?! You can’t leave me there!!

Me: You sound just like the other readers...

 

[TogetherAgain]

<Sings> These are a few of my favorite things:

Me: Of COURSE Kermie notices Robin!

Gonzo: It’s KERMIT! NOT Kermie! KERMIT!

Me: Sorry...

No, no you're not sorry... NOt at all...

Gonzo: What’d I miss?

Me: The chapter.

Gonzo: Oh...Pity.

Don't'cha hate it when that happens?

Me: Nope, now we return to our regularly scheduled dorm room.

Gonzo: WHAT?! You can’t leave me there!!

Me: You sound just like the other readers...

Heh, yeah, I seem to recall getting mad at you over this chapter...

 

[Beauregard]

Quote:

Gonzo: What’d I miss?

Me: The chapter.

Gonzo: Oh...Pity.

Don't'cha hate it when that happens?

I know the feeling. *innocent*

 

[theprawncracker]

I know the feeling. *innocent*

I bet you do...