Muppet Fan-Fiction - Men Are Pigs

[TogetherAgain]

<Swoons>











...<twitch>...





<recovers>

MORE PLEASE!

 

[The Count]

Woo-hoo! Funny was the part with the guys and ice cream. The rehearsals at the theater! Yaey! Uncle D! Yaey! The girls snooping backstage, uh-oh. Robin gets the medal of bravery for going above and beyond the call of duty for putting up with Aunt Marge. Good thing Kermit and Rowlf caught the parties eavesdropping on their mock-performance.

Two things though...
Posted by Chest of Drawers: Robin nodded, and smiled at Kermit. "You guys may remember this song," Rowlf said. "First sang it back in 1979..."
Didn't Robin already leave after Aunt Marge by this point? So how can he smile up at his uncle


Posted by Duke of Chutney: Link’s legs flailed as he tried to pull his head out of a garbage can.

Piggy muttered and stomped off. "That frog had better hurry up and win me back," she said angrily.*
At first, this didn't jive with me, seemed disjointed from the rest of the chapter. But then I remembered this followed the restaurant dinner. That is, if said scene continued with the pigs there if it is the frog and bear left to move on to where we saw them here. Nice work, more please!

 

[theprawncracker]

Oh, good catch, Ed. That "Robin" there was indeed supposed to be Rowlf. Oops.

And as for the Piggy and Link scene... I just wanted a Piggy and Link scene.

More to come at some point!

 

[The Count]

You'd better deliver on that... Or I know someone who'll be seein' stars by tomorrow.

BTW: Could you please send me complete corrected copies of all your fanfics so far, except for Don't Trip The Driver since I have that one please? Copies for me and for Sis. Thanks.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Oooh loving it, loving it! Can't wait to see the song performed! I want to read more! More please!

 

[theprawncracker]

Sure Ed, I'll get you all the fan-fics asap!

 

[Beauregard]

Did you know this is part 1 of a trio?

 

[theprawncracker]

*shoots a penguin at Beau* READ DARN YOU!

*ahem* Anyway gang, next chapter's coming, got a great song in it. One that... well, lemme jus tsay, if you didn't see it coming... I dunno, you just shoulda saw it coming. Enjoy!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 17

Rowlf’s fingers flew across the keys. Scooter titled his head at the unfamiliar tune, this wasn’t what they had rehearsed earlier. "Ya can’t live with ‘em, ya can’t live without ‘em," Rowlf sang.

"There’s something irresistable-ish about ‘em," Kermit sang.
"We grin and bear it ‘cause the nights are long
I hope that something better comes along."

The stupidly single men looked at each other. "How is this gonna win our girls back?" Clifford whispered.

"How is this gonna win us back?" Skeeter whispered.

Uncle Deadly gasped. "Sh! We’ve been spotted!"

"Brawk?" Camilla clucked quietly.

"Quickly!" Deadly whispered. "Out! Go!" he shouted, pushing the three girls out of the theater.

"It’s no good complainin’ and pointless to holler
If she’s a beauty she’ll get under your collar," Rowlf sang.

"She made a monkey out of old King Kong," Kermit sang.

"I hope that something better comes along," they both harmonized.

"What are you guys doing?" Scooter asked. "This isn’t the song Robin wanted to do!"

"Sh!" Kermit told the go-fer. "Women in the roost," Kermit said.

"C’mon," Rowlf said to the others. "You know the words, sing along!"

Floyd shrugged, and joined in the next verse. "Man, but what could be better
Than a saucy Irish setter
When puppy love comes on strong?" he sang.

"Or a collie that’s classy," Gonzo sang. "A laddie needs a lassie."

"A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life," Clifford added.

"I don’t mean to scare ya, my friend
But I betcha, come Father’s Day
The litter-bug’s gonna getcha," Kermit sang.

"The urge is righteous
But the face is wrong," Rowlf sang.

"I hope that something better comes along," they all sang.

"Still, it’s fun when you’re fetching," Scooter sang.
"And agree to see an etching."

"That you keep at your lily pad," Kermit sang.

"There is no solution
It’s part of evolution," Gonzo sang.

"The pitter-patter of souls," Clifford sang.

"The little feet of tadpoles!" Rowlf sang.

"Tadpoles don’t have feet!" everyone shouted at the dog.

He played back and forth between keys and stared at them. "Yeah, sorry about that. Two, three, four!" he counted off.

"There’s no limitation
To mixin’ and matchin’" Floyd sang.

"Some get an itching for
A critter they’ve been scratching," Gonzo sang.

"A skunk was badgered-"

"The results were strong!"

"I hope that something better-"

"I hope that something better-"

"I hope that something better comes along!" they all sang.

"Beep bob, squeetily dop, boody do do. Yeah!" Rowlf scatted.

"Heh heh heh," Clifford laughed. "That was good, that was good," he said. "But how the heck is it s’pposed to win us our girls back, man?"

"It isn’t," Uncle Deadly said, from the ceiling above.

Everyone looked up at him. "Man, oh man." Floyd shook his head. "Everybody but us seems to know what’s goin’ on!"

"What’s he mean, Kermit?" Gonzo asked.

"Yeah frog, dog, spill it," Clifford said.

Kermit looked back up at Uncle Deadly. "Are they gone yet, Uncle D.?" he asked.

"Indeed," Uncle Deadly said, hopping down from the rafters.

"Oh good," Kermit said. "Well, your women were watching from behind the curtains."

"What?" Floyd, Clifford, and Gonzo shouted.

"I thought Fozzie, Pepe, and Rizzo were keeping an eye on them!" Gonzo said.

"Well that explains everything," Clifford said.

"So, wait," Floyd said. "That ain’t what we’re gonna do to win back our girls?"

"You kiddin’?" Rowlf asked. "That song would make your girls leave so fast, they’d leave skid marks."

"They already did leave that fast," Uncle Deadly said.

"Point proven," Kermit said.

"Well then what’s the real song?" Gonzo asked.

Rowlf started up on the piano keys again. "Why don’t we show you?"

<~><~><~><~><~>

Skeeter, Camilla, and Janice trotted down the sidewalk. "Ugh," Skeeter groaned. "I can’t believe they’re gonna do that song!" she said.

"Like, rully," Janice said.

"Brawk bawk byuck bagawk!" Camilla clucked.

"Yeah, and if Robin thought to do that to win us back, the whole family must be relationship challenged," Skeeter said.

"Oh, fer sure," Janice said. "I mean, like, Kermit lost Miss Piggy, and now, like Robin wants them to sing that."

"Brawk bawk!" Camilla clucked, pointing ahead of them.

"Well speak of the little green devil, there he is!" Skeeter said.

"Uh oh, but he’s with, like, a big puce devil," Janice said.

"Ugh, this could get painful..." Skeeter said. "C’mon, let’s catch up to them..."

<~><~><~><~><~>

"What’re we gonna do?" Fozzie whined.

"I t’ought we were going to find de womens," Pepe said.

"We are!" Rizzo said.

"Well d’en, isn’t d’at what we are going to do?" Pepe asked.

"But we don’t know how to do it!" Fozzie said.

"Oh, well d’at is simple, hokay?" Pepe said. "We take it one step at a time."

"Hey, hey guys," Rizzo called to the bear and the prawn.

"Si?" Pepe replied.

"I didn’t find da girls we’re lookin’ for, but I found Miss Piggy!" he said.

"Should we go talk to her?" Fozzie asked.

"We have a choice?" Pepe asked.

"Alright meat bag, move it!" Piggy shouted to Link, who wobbled behind her, covered in trash.

"Goodness," Fozzie said. "What did she do to him?"

"She trashed him!" Rizzo shuddered. "She probably hit him up too!"

"She’s getting closer! I t’ink we should probably run, hokay?" Pepe said.

"Where to? Where to?" Fozzie asked.

"Da t'eater!" Rizzo said. "Quick!"

Fozzie turned around and started to run away, screaming.

"How very discreet of him..." Rizzo said, running after the bear.

"Si, he’s quite de- hokey pokey!" Pepe shouted. "She’s chasing us!"

Piggy had pulled off her heels and was pumping her legs towards the rat and the prawn.

"How did de bear get so far ahead of us?" Pepe asked.

"I don’t know, just keep running!" Rizzo said.

"At d’is rate we’ll lead her right to de t'eater!" Pepe said.

"Good," Rizzo said. "Make her Kermit’s problem."

"Come back here shimp! You too vermin!" Miss Piggy growled. "I heard what you said about me!"

"What did jou say, Ritzo?" Pepe asked.

"I just said d’at she trashed Link, and probably hit him up, too!" Rizzo said. "Oh no..."

"Why would jou say such a thing, hokay? Jou are going to get me fried, and jou turned into ratatouille!" Pepe shouted.

"I didn’t mean it! I just meant d’at she probably hit him up for money!" Rizzo said.

"Oh," Pepe said. "T’ink we should tell her that?" he asked.

"No time!" Rizzo said. "We’re at da t'eater!"

The bear, the rat, the prawn, and the pig burst into the theater.

Link hobbled up to the theater door, tossing a banana peel off his nose. "What a rotten story..."

 

[The Count]

Oh I don't know about that... This is proving to be quite an enjoyable story at that.

Good song choice... Funny how they all keep glaring at Rowlf for that one line about tadpoles.
The girls are gonna catch up with Robin and Aunt Marge? Oh gosh, don't let the plans slip little green stuff.
And don't let the pig find out about the real plans either uncle green stuff.

Post more please!
*Pelts the janitor with more penguins... You'll have to forgive him Prawny, he's a bit slow. But so long as you don't call Fozzie not funny, he doesn't care about being called slow along with Bo either.