Chapter 32
Death paced the grassy field of the boss’s office. The archangel paced the ground around the coffee table.
"If you wear a rut in my Kentucky blue grass, you will pay," said The Boss, with a snarky overtone to her voice.
Death stopped and looked to his employer. "WHEN?"
"When what?" The Boss asked.
"WHEN WILL I BE READY TO ADMIT THAT I CARE FOR THEM?" Death asked softly.
The Boss sipped from her coffee cup slowly, pondering the question. She closed her eyes and smiled at Death. "You just asked when you’ll be ready to admit it... Which means..." she paused, leading him onto the next line.
Death looked up above him. "WHICH MEANS I ALREADY KNOW IT INSIDE. I JUST DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT."
"Hey! Don’t finish my sentences!" said The Boss with a heavenly smirk.
Death grinned on the inside. "YOU KNOW..." he said, still gazing at the space above him. "I THINK A CHANDELIER WOULD LOOK LOVELY IN HERE."
The Boss looked up at her plain tiled ceiling. "Can’t, union thing, ya know?"
"TRUST ME, I KNOW. DID YOU KNOW WE DON’T EVEN GET DENTAL UP HERE?" Death asked.
"Yes, I know that, I established that. Tooth Fairy got to obsessive about it."
"FIGURES..."
<X>X<X>
Benny swung the scythe in Deadly’s direction, the phantom dodged and hopped backwards. "Stay out of this Clifford!" he shouted to the co-host.
"Not today, dude," Clifford jumped on stage. He ran towards Benny with no real plan in mind.
Uncle Deadly sneered. "Stop it!" Deadly dove towards Benny as he moved Clifford’s way. "You’ll get killed!"
"Not exactly," Daniel interjected. "With Death currently out of a job, everyone on Earth is technically immortal."
Everyone inside the theater turned and stared at Daniel. "Carry on..." Daniel whispered.
The squabble continued, and if any other Muppets were there, or not in dire peril, one of them would’ve made a joke about the word squabble. But, considering all of the Muppets within the theater were in dire peril as of this moment, no one made a squabble joke.
However, they did all continue to squabble.
Squabble, squabble.
>X<X>X<
The bus carefully drove down the dimly lit road. Kermit clenched his sleeping nephew's chest, just as he had ever since he'd been rescued.
Kermit looked the pitch black bus up and down, from Butch trying not to doze off in the driver's seat to Sweetums completely dozed out in the very back.
His Saturn-shaped eyes stopped on the one thing that had always been able to stop them, no matter what situation.
Miss Piggy's dainty violet eye lids were carefully closed over her ever-so-diva eyes. Her rosey cheeks moved gently up and down as she breathed in her sleep.
Kermit smiled and reached his spindly arm out to caress her cheek or brush it through her hair, he hadn't decided yet. As he drew dangerously close his porcine princess let out a loud snore through her snout. Kermit darted his hand back in shock or awe, he hadn't decided yet.
His scrunched up face was instantly drawn back into a shocking grimace as Piggy's eyes shot open and she shouted: "Gotcha!"
"Piggy," Kermit whispered. "What are you doing up?!"
"Doing research short, green, and lovesick as a teenage boy," the swine swooned.
Kermit frowned more than he already was. "Researching what?" he asked carefully.
"Why vous Kermie, what else could capture moi's attention so valiantly?" she batted her eyelashes.
"I could think of about half-a dozen chocolate cakes that could..." Kermit muttered.
"You wanna say something say it to my face googly eyes!" Piggy growled.
Kermit gulped. "Oh, um, alright, Miss Piggy, your face looks ravishing in this glorious moonlight."
Piggy knew how to play this game, and she was tres good at it too. "Oh, it does, does it?"
Kermit scratched his head with his hand not already occupied by his nephew's little body. "Of course it does," the frog said. "I'd say more but I have Robin underneath me, see and-"
Oh Kermie, mon cher," Piggy brushed the top of his head. "Do not tell me about Robin's darling little body, tell me about MOI'S darling
little body."
"But Miss Piggy, I would never lie to you!"
"SAY WHAT?!"
"I mean-um, well you see..." Kermit scrunched up his face again. "I don't really know where I'm going with this..."
Piggy tossed her golden locks to the other side of her head and smirked at the frog. "I do," she grinned.
"Sheesh," Kermit scrunched up his face. "Piggy, Robin!"
"Vous know just as well as moi that sweet little Robin knows just as much, if not more, about this relationship than vous," Piggy said sweetly.
Kermit sat his nephew gently underneath the bus window. He checked his nephew's stability, smirked and turned to Miss Piggy. He rested his green elbows on his green knees and turned green when he looked up at Piggy's face right in front of his.
Or course, he was always green. "Hi Piggy," he gulped.
"Hi Keeeermie," she grasped his hands right out of his grasp. How Kermit could lose grasp of his own hands was still very unbeknownst to the poor frog.
"You know mon capitan," she swooned. "There's something tres, tres romantic about a dark bus in the middle of the night. Wouldn't you agree, mon cher?"
"Well it depends on the bus," Kermit smirked, taking the ball back into his court.
"What could be more romantic than this, the bus where it all began. The bus where vous whispered to moi the words that set moi's heart forever ablaze."
"And what words would those be Piggy?" Kermit asked.
"Motorcycle cop," she said blankly.
Kermit frowned. "For the last time Piggy, 'motorcycle cop' is
not a sweet nothing!"
Say what you will," Piggy pulled Kermit's hands towards her chest. "But I know that they were words of
passion!"
"Here we go," Kermit tried rolling his eyes, but realized that it was beyond his limits, as was letting the pig win this one.
Piggy planted one right on Kermit's cheek. "Yes Kermit my love, here we go!"
"But Piggy we wouldn't want to wake the rest of the-" Kermit's mouth was closed over in a pucker of piggy passion.
When Kermit was freed from his sufficient suffocation he scrunched up his face. "Now Piggy don't hold back," he said sarcastically.
"Oh Kermie, I'd never hold anything back from vous," Piggy grinned.
"Well than could you quit holding back my hands?" Kermit asked.
"Oh Kermit, we will forever be bonded by our hands," Piggy said sweetly.
"Well we'll be bonded by hands, not necessarily ours, but hands nonetheless..." Kermit said.
"How many walls are gonna break in these stories frog?" Piggy asked.
Piggy's lips hit him square on his lips. Kermit resisted for nearly half a second then decided it was futile effort and kissed right back.
"Hey you two lovebirds!" Butch shouted from the driver's seat. "Don't rock the bus!"
"Rock the bus?" Floyd shouted from the back. "Sounds like a song to me! Heh heh! Hit it Dr. Teeth!"
As the band began to wail into the night all of the other Muppets on the bus sat up and started laughing their heads off. Including Robin.
"They were all awake...The entire time..." Kermit said in shock.
Piggy flipped her hair again. "I know," she patted her frog on the head.
"This was all just so you could..."
"Show them how much vous really do care about moi," she kissed him on the head.
Kermit's face had never scrunched up more than this. "Nice timing Butch!" he shouted up the bus. "A little late, but that's forgivable."
"Good night Kermie," Piggy waved the frog away as he returned to his seat next to Robin.
"How much did you see?" Kermit asked his nephew.
Robin shrugged. "No more than usual."
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