Chapter 31
The Electric Mayhem bus was once again pulled off on the side of the highway with a pack of motorcycles behind them. The only thing different about this time was a horse and a weirdo riding said horse.
"Where’d ya get the pretty pony?" Clueless asked Gonzo.
"Actually, he got me!" Gonzo told the goat.
"Ohhh, I see." Clueless nodded. "And how much did you cost?"
"Quit fraternizin’, dumby," Polly told the goat.
"But Polly, I can’t fraternize, I didn’t even go to college," Clueless blinked.
Kermit, Rizzo, and Beaker stepped off the bus. The three of them walked over to the pirates as Gonzo hopped off the horse, landing on Beaker, pushing his head down in his head.
Gonzo stood up and dusted himself off. "Whoops, sorry," he began dusting Beaker off as well.
Rizzo punched Beaker’s chest, popping his head back out. "Welcome back bud," the rat told his best friend the whatever.
"Thanks Rizzo. Oh, and Rizzo, this is Phillip." Gonzo motioned to the horse.
"It’s a pleasure," the horse nodded at Rizzo.
"Oh, oh yeah?!" Rizzo yelled. "You think it’s a pleasure makin’ me look like a complete idiot in front of everybody ‘cause you always run away whenever I see ya?!"
"Sorry about that," Phillip said. "But we horses have very overactive bladders."
"Whatevah..." Rizzo muttered.
"Yes?" Gonzo asked.
"Not you!" Rizzo shouted.
"Mee mo mo mee me me?" Beaker asked.
Gonzo and Rizzo looked at each other. "Sure," they both nodded.
Kermit shook his head and went again to face Polly. "Polly, what’s the matter with you? You gotta be crazy chasing me halfway across the country!"
Polly leaned over to Kermit. "Right context, wrong movie," he whispered.
Kermit scrunched up his face. "What do you want with us now?"
"Well, actually, Mr. the Frog, sir, we were hoping for... Erm... Jobs," Polly said.
"Jobs?" Rizzo asked.
Polly nodded. "Yeah, Benny fired us! He just took the keys, then disappeared into thin air!"
"The air was actually kinda think," Clueless pointed out.
"Quiet!" Polly shouted. "So whadaya say Kermit?"
Kermit tilted his head. "Uh... Give me a minute to talk things over with the others. While you wait, talk to our negotiations expert." Kermit stepped back and pushed Beaker in front of Polly.
"Mee mo," Beaker waved.
Polly lowered his eyelids. "Oh brother..."
Kermit huddled up with Rizzo and Gonzo. "Okay guys, we’ve got a whole mess of sleezy pirates wanting a job."
"I don’t see the problem here," Gonzo said.
"They could
kill us!" Rizzo shouted.
"Again, don’t see the problem."
Kermit frowned. "Maybe you guys aren’t the best ones to ask."
"Heh, maybe you should ask Phillip, the horse who’s a wise a-" Rizzo started.
"Good idea, Rizzo," Kermit cut the rat off, glaring at him. "What do you think, Phil?" Kermit asked.
"Me?" the horse doubled back. "Why me?"
"Because no one else here can make an educated decision," Kermit said.
"Go figure," Gonzo smiled.
"Oh," Phillip nodded. "Uh, could you repeat the question?"
"Should we give a buncha no-good, cut-throat, down-right mean pirates a job workin’ for us at our theater?" Rizzo asked.
"I don’t see why not," Phillip said. "They’ve got good credentials."
Kermit frowned. "I can’t believe I’m taking advice from a horse..."
"You can’t be serious!" Rizzo shouted.
"I’ve been told that for fifty plus years," Kermit smirked. "Polly," he turned to the lobster, who was mid-argument with Beaker. "Welcome to the family."
"Yay!" Polly grinned. "Here that fellas? We’re part of the family!"
The pirates cheered wildly and ran to hug Kermit, Rizzo, Gonzo, and Beaker.
"Does that mean we get to come over for Christmas?" Clueless asked.
"Uh, I suppose," Kermit said as Angel Marie squeezed him into a bear hug.
"Mee mee mo!" Beaker shouted as Old Tom hugged him.
"Whoo!" Gonzo shouted. "What friendly people!"
"Good grief..." Kermit sighed. "Thanks Phillip..."
"No problem greeny, no problem."
<X>X<X>
Don’t move. Uncle Deadly thought to himself.
He’ll sense your movement.
Benny walked down the aisle in between the red seats, throwing J.P.’s body into a random seat about halfway down the aisle.
Skeeter nearly jumped from her hide-out beneath the seats, but Scooter restrained her.
Daniel and Clifford peered over the balcony at the gray man walking with the scythe.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Benny called.
Uncle Deadly tightened his grip around the stage curtains as Benny neared the stage. Deadly’s breath caught in his chest, his body heat increased drastically, he knew that a battle was waiting to ensue. He just hoped he could hold Benny off long enough for Death to return.
Benny jumped over the band pit and landed hard on the stage. Deadly dug his nails farther into the curtain concealing him.
Benny’s head jerked towards Deadly’s hiding spot. He flashed his pointy yellow teeth. "Olley olley oxen free!" Benny shouted, firing a blast from the end of the scythe, hitting Deadly square in the chest and tearing down the other set of curtains.
The blast sent Deadly flying backstage, colliding with a hat rack. Deadly stood up slowly and propped the hat rack back up. "Sorry sir, don’t write me out of the show again," Uncle Deadly whispered. The phantom growled, shooting himself back on stage, squaring off with Benny. "Let’s go."
Benny sneered. "‘Bout time!" he sliced down at Deadly with the scythe.
Uncle Deadly dodged quickly, jumping into the air. The specter hurled down a ball of lightning from his hands down at Benny, knocking him square in the chest.
"Go Uncle D.! Go!" Skeeter shouted from the seats.
Benny hissed. "You brought back up I see," the gray man regained his balance. Skeeter shirked back into the seat quietly. "That, my dear Deadly, was a mistake you won’t live to regret." Benny aimed the scythe toward the twins. "And neither will they!"
"NO!" Deadly cried. The phantom jumped at Benny, tackling him onto the floor, misfiring the scythe’s blast, taking out a large chunk of the seats.
Benny pushed Deadly off of him with the scythe and aimed the blade at Deadly’s neck. "You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do this," the gray man sneered.
"You’ll have to keep waiting!" Clifford shouted, jumping from the balcony.
Benny stared at the co-host. "How many stooges did you bring along Deadly?"
"Four!" Daniel shouted, attempting to jump from the balcony, but falling on his face.
Benny snickered. "Oh, I’m really frightened. Two twins, a catfish face, and an ice cream man from ‘Hello Dolly’."
"And a fiendish phantom!" Deadly kicked up from the floor, hitting Benny is his chest. "This ends tonight." Deadly stood over Benny’s body. "No matter what the outcome."
Benny Vandergast’s eyes changed to blood red as he hissed at Uncle Deadly. "I wouldn’t have it any other way!"
He jumped up and the fight continued.
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
