Chapter 18
"Hey Floyd," Sweetums nudged the guitarist with his huge foot. "Floyd, could ya get a message to Robin for me?"
Floyd raised his eyebrows at the monster. "Well I could try, what is it?"
"Tell ‘im that we’re halfway there!" Sweetums told the musician.
"Man, how do you know that?" Floyd asked. "We still don’t know where we’re goin’."
"Well the little fella likes to be kept up to date," Sweetums said. "Just go ahead and tell ‘im."
"Alright man, hey, Zoot, you wanna pass a message up the bus?" Floyd woke up the burnt-out sax player.
"Wha’?" Zoot said with his groggy tone.
"Tell little green stuff that we’re halfway there."
"Right," Zoot yawned. "Hey bunny Bean boy," Zoot tapped Bean on his shoulder. "Tell Robin that we’ve lost half our hair."
Bobo blew a loud, off-key note on his tuba when Zoot passed Bean the message. "Oh alright Zoot! Hey, did you know Zoot rhymes with cute? Zoot cute! Zoot cute!"
"Yeah whatever man," Zoot said before falling back asleep.
"Zoot cute, Zoot cute...Wait, what was it I was s’posed to pass onto Robin?" Bean scratched his head. "Oh now I remember! Hey mister Johnny Fiama sir?"
"Hey bunny boy, whadaya think you’re doin’?!" Sal threw his arms out to the side and made a monkey wall between Bean and Johnny. "No one talks to Johnny Fiama unless I says so, got it?!"
"Oh right, well could you just pass a message onto Robin for me?" Bean asked.
"What?! You want Johnny Fiama to pass on a message?!" Sal shouted.
"Well you could do it just as well actually," Bean smiled.
Sal gasped. "You think that anyone could do anything as well as Johnny Fiama?! Johnny Fiama is the perfect specimen of anything!"
"Oh, well then could you have him tell Robin that we’ve halved his share?" Bean asked.
"Get outta here!" Sal picked Bean up and drop kicked him to the back of the bus.
"Hey, hey Pepe, did you hear dat about Robin only gettin’ half his share?" Rizzo nudged the prawn.
"Si, but I t’ought de bunny said dat he traded his staff for a chair," Pepe said.
"Really?" Beauregard asked. "I heard that he didn’t do his math while he was there."
"I think you’re all daft as that bear," Sam muttered.
"Brawk bagawk byuck buck brawk!" Camilla clucked.
"No Camilla, honey, I don’t think you’d look better with a mass of hair," Gonzo reassured his hen-honey.
"Hey Clyde, do you think I should model for
Vanity Fair?" Butch asked his best friend.
"Oh Butch! You wouldn’t dare!" Clyde said.
"Gah!" Piggy shouted. "Robin, don’t look sweety, moi’s going to be shooting a glare," Piggy said to the empty seat next to her. "Robin?"
Piggy looked up and down the aisle for the little frog’s hyper presence, but it was no where to be seen, or heard. "Kermie dear, is Robin with vous?" Piggy called up the bus.
Kermit looked down the aisle at Piggy. He was sitting next to Rowlf in the front seat. "No, I thought he was back there with you."
Piggy looked around once more. "He’s not dear, are vous sure he isn’t around there?"
Kermit gulped. "Dr. Teeth, you better pull over."
"Say it once, say it twice, it’ll always be easier said than done, ain’t that nice? Heh heh," Dr. Teeth chuckled as he pulled the bus off the highway onto the side of the road.
"Has anyone seen Robin since we left the gas station?" Kermit stood up, taking back control of the bus.
"Yes Kermit!" Sam stood up straight.
"Oh great Sam! Where is he?" Kermit asked.
"Yes, I do believe that America is the greatest nation," Sam saluted.
Kermit sighed. "I think we’re still having some hearing troubles."
"Why would we need bubbles?" Fozzie said from the seat next to Kermit.
Kermit scrunched up his face. "Robin!" Kermit shouted down the bus. There was no answer. Kermit began to walk the length of the bus, checking every seat, every nook, every cranny for his nephew. "Robin?!" Kermit shouted as he began to run up and down the bus. "Robin!"
"Kermit, Kermit," Gonzo grabbed Kermit by the arms, steadying him. "Calm down, we’ll just turn the bus around and get Robin at the gas station."
Kermit took a deep breath and nodded. "You’re right Gonzo. Alright Dr. Teeth, turn this bus around, back to the gas station!"
"Right on my happily hoppin’ froggy friend," Dr. Teeth turned the bus around and began to drive back towards the gas station.
<X>X<X>
Benny held Deadly by his neck up against the brick wall at the back of the stage. "I’ve got you now Deadly," Vandergast hissed in the phantom’s face.
"You’ll never win Vandergast," Deadly squirmed in the gray man’s grasp.
"Oh, but I already have." Benny threw Uncle Deadly to the wooden floor of the theater. Deadly massaged his throat with his clawed blue hand as he glared at Benny Vandergast.
"I won’t let you get away with this," the ghostly blue, dragon-like creature sneered.
Benny picked up Death’s scythe and rubbed the handle. "It seems that there’s not much you can do."
"Well this may come as a shock to you," Deadly fired a bolt of lightning from his palms. "But there’s more to me than meets your beady red eyes."
Benny grinned. "You know, my eyes only glow red when I get angry." Benny extended the scythe out in front of him and fired a burst of heat from the tip of the blade.
Deadly rolled on his side to dodge the flames. "How did you learn to control the scythe?!"
"Who said I had control?!" Benny fired another shot, burning a hole through the stage floor.
Deadly crawled back up to his feet and began to run away. He had to get to high ground.
"So now you run, like a coward!" Benny fired another ball of flames.
Deadly ducked to prevent a complete singing. He sent a surge of electricity out of his palm, trying to buy himself time.
"If you can’t stand the heat," Benny shouted. "Stay out of the theater!"
Benny shot a massive fireball from the end of the scythe, it hit Deadly square in the small of his back and blasted him through the door backstage at the Muppet Theater.
Deadly landed on the alley sidewalk on his snout. The ground was cold. Deadly had never been cold before this, not that he could remember anyway.
Benny Vandergast stood at the hole in the door. "If you dare set foot in my theater again, you’ll be a reduced to a pile of zombie ash."
Deadly huddled into a ball on the cold concrete beneath him. "I’m sorry Death," he whispered. "I’m sorry Kermit..."
>X<X>X<
"Hey, hey Angel Marie," Clueless said to the green pirate. "Let’s play ‘I Spy.’"
Angel Marie nodded. "Okay," he said. "I’ll go first. I spy with my little eye, something that is...Red."
"Hmm...Is it your secret love for a passionate woman that you conceal and will continue to conceal for the rest of you tortured, turmoiled life, because you know you’ll never be able to win her heart?" Clueless asked.
Angel Marie looked at Clueless awkwardly. "No."
"Oh," Clueless said. "Then is it Polly?"
"Yeah!" Angel Marie shouted. "Okay Clueless, your turn."
"Alright then, I spy with my little eye, something that is red, ooh, and yellow and there’s some blue and green and white on there too!" Clueless nodded in satisfaction.
"Hmm, is it Polly in a tie-die t-shirt?" Angel Marie asked.
"Yeah! How’d ya guess?" Clueless asked.
Angel Marie laughed. Suddenly, he saw a red, yellow, blue, green, and white bus driving the opposite way. "What a weird colored bus."
"Hey Polly!" Robin shouted. "That’s my Uncle Kermit’s bus!"
"WHAT?!" Polly gasped.
"Well, really it belongs to the Electric Mayhem but-"
"Boys! Turn these bikes around!" Polly shouted to the rest of the pirates. "We got a bus to catch!"
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