Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[The Count]

*Ahem... Just a reminder to Bryan, Kim and Kyle, once they come in and go through their Christmas cards, that I still need them to weigh in on the potential new pledge seeking to have his application answered.
Hope to hear from you soon and have a good day.

 

[Ruahnna]

Catherine: So he's home now?
Layla: Yeah. But for a little green guy, he sure seems blue.
Catherine: Um, I've been thinking about that some. I have an idea. Maybe. Sortof. But look, don't worry about my roomies. Kermit and Piggy worked their stuff out--they always seem to.
Layla: Wanda said as much. (whispering) What happened?
Catherine: (hesitating) Um, I don't actually know. We were all watching a movie together and then, (embarrassed) um, Fozzie and I dozed off. When I woke up, Piggy and Kermit were all cozied up in one of the recliners.
Layla: (squealing) Oh--thank goodness. So they're back to normal.
Catherine: Bickering happily all the live-long day. I may have to hurt one of them before it's all over, but at least I don't have to keep them from hurting each other. Besides, I'm going to need their help to do something for Fozzie.
Layla: You said you had an idea? Maybe? Sortof?
Catherine: Oh! Yes--actually, it was something you said the other night. You know--it's not Robot Kermit's fault he's crazy about Piggy. He was designed that way.
Layla: I know. It's a shame that there isn't--oh. (Catherine is nodding and smiling.) Oh! Oh oh! Do you think, um, do you think that would be safe?
Catherine: I'm pretty sure it won't be, but I can't think of any other resolution. Do you want to come with me to see Dr. Bunsen and Beaker?
Layla: (paling a little) Um, Bunsen and Beaker? You aren't thinking of using--
Catherine: (grabbing Layla's arm) Yep. I sure am. One thing Piggy taught me--use whatever you've got.
Layla: Wow--now I know what you mean about not being safe.
Catherine: (determinedly) But it will be fun! Fun fun fun!
Layla: If you say so....
(They crunch through the snow across campus.)
Catherine: Is, um, your renter's insurance paid up?
Layla: (looking at her dormie out of the corner of her eye) Why do you ask?
Catherine: (evasively) No reason, no reason. Just making conversation. Oh--look! There's the lab now!
Layla: I can't look. (Puts a gloved hand over her eyes and plunges through the door to Muppet Labs.)

 

[The Count]

OK... One less hurdle to worry about.
As for my little fictional fidgeting... Thought it all aligned perfectly, not sure, it always comes back to waffling.
*Determinedly... OK, that's it , I'm going to take a stand and...
*Decidedly... Keep flip-flopping.
Oh well, Wednesday isn't too far off away. Can post then or keep conversing with my fanfic peers to get everything hashed and in order before taking the plunge.

 

[Leyla]

<Leyla, blinded by her own fluffy blue glove smacks straight into Beaker, who is consequently knocked into a threatening-looking Goldbergian contraption. He is snagged by a metal claw and dragged helplessly inside of it, shrieking in meeped terror.>

Leyla: <peeking out from her glove and wincing> Oopsie.
<Bunsen, sporting a welder's mask with the visor up and a heavy apron reading, "Q. E. D. Scientists r^2 QT 2 compute!" sidles up and peers curiously into the machine.>
Bunsen: <cheerfully scolding> Oh, Beakie. I know you love playing with the THRS but we have company!
Catherine:THRS?
Bunsen: Oh, yes. The Total Hair Removal System. Beakie's crazy about it, and it's easy to see why!
<Beaker is dropped in a smoking heap on the floor, bald as a rolling stone.> (Not that kind. You know. The kind that gather no moss? Nevermind. <mutters> Last time I let Fozzie give me a joke.)
Leyla: <hushed, to Catherine> I'll have to get him something nice for Christmas.
Beaker: <feeling his head and looking distressed.> Meeep! Mee mee mee me meee!
Bunsen: <whose eyes, if they were visible, would be lit up with an unholy gleam> Say! That gives me a great idea!
Catherine: <trying to rescue Beaker> Now, uh, let's not get distracted here. Leyla and I wanted to know if-
Bunsen: Now that Beakie is completely hairless, he is now the perfect subject for testing out my new "hair-ifying" invention!
Beaker: <surprisingly expressive in his horror> Meep-ifying!
Bunsen: No, no. Not terrifying, Beaker. "HAIR-ifying!"
<Beaker plainly disagrees with this assessment>
Leyla: Just when I think it doesn't get crazier than my roomies-
Catherine: <nodding> -you meet everyone else's. But, anyway, we should really-
<Bunsen has led the trembling assistant towards another odd contraption that somehow manages to look exactly as Goldbergian as the THRS while looking completely different as well.>
Bunsen: In you go! <He shoves the recalitrant Beaker into the gaping maw of the machine. Appalling, unnatural noises follow for some minutes. Getting impatient with the amount of time it's taking, Dr. Honeydew wanders over to where Leyla and Catherine are watching in quiet sympathy. Over Beaker's wails, he gets their attention.
Bunsen: Well, on to business. What can I do for you?
Leyla: <hesitating, then turning to Catherine> Uh...are you sure this is safe?
Catherine: <hushed> I already told you that I'm sure it WON'T be.
Leyla: <swallowing hard> Well, as long as you're sure. <deep breath> Dr. Bunsen, we'd like to enlist your help-
Beaker: MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
Leyla: Um... yours and Beakers, in, er...helping my roomie to cheer up. You see, he's got this fixation on Miss Piggy and-
Bunsen: Oooh, that can't be good for anyone's health or peace of mind.
<in the background, Beaker continues to shriek>
Leyla: <slowly> Riiiiiight. Um. <she looks helplessly at Catherine.>
Catherine: We know that you've built robots before, and we were hoping you could, um...
Leyla: It could distract him from Piggy! Er... I mean, she could!
Bunsen: <puzzled> Miss Piggy could distract him from Miss Piggy?
Leyla: <triumphantly> Exactly! Goodness knows no one else could! So, will you help us?
Bunsen: I'm sorry... help you what?
<Their response is interrupted by a Beaker sized furball rolling between them like a tumbleweed.>
Catherine: Uh....
Beaker: Mee mee mee mee mee mmmigggeee!
Bunsen: Oh! You want me to build a-
Catherine and Leyla together: Build a robot Piggy!

<Bunsen considers this for a moment, nodding in growing enthusiasm>
Bunsen: You know, I do believe it could be done! Yes... with Beaker's help, I should be able to build a Robot Miss Piggy to give Robot Kermit a robotic friend!
<At the mention of his name, Beaker lets out a weary little cry of despair>
Bunsen: Oh, and isn't that conveniant, Beakie! You're all covered in hair! Perfect for testing out the hair matrix, which would the most tricky part of designing her! Although, there is the karate matrix to consider as well, and the diva protocol... hmm... we have lots of work ahead of us, Beakie!

<The ball of hair quivers weakly.>

Catherine: Ah... well, we'll... we'll just leave the two of you to it, then! Ta!
Leyla: Thanks a million!
Catherine: Yes, thank you.
<They begin to leave>
Leyla: So, do you suppose you could give me any tips for keeping Robot Kermit out of trouble when Robot Piggy's around?
Catherine: <long pause> No.
Leyla: Ah.

 

[theprawncracker]

Ryan: GONZO HELP ME!!
Gonzo: What what what?!
Ryan: The finals!! They're attacking!! AHHHH!!!
Gonzo: It's not moving-
Ryan: But it's invaded! That's what they want you to think-that they're not REALLY alive-But they are Gonzo! They ARE!!
Gonzo: ...Ryan, I think you need a break.
Ryan: I can't Gonzo! Gotta study! Gotta study study study!!
Gonzo: Then why are you on the computer?
Ryan: ...Touche salesman...

 

[The Count]

Same reason as me Gonzo... He needs something to slay those finals with.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

MN: So how'd your excursion with the terrible twins go?
Nora: Stu wanted to buy this fancy new junior chemistry set. Dr. Diablo, I think it's called. He claims it's for Cait but I know all too well he's going to try to use it himself.
MN: Did you let him get it?
Nora: Yeah, on the condition that he not use it between 8 p.m. and 2 a.m. The chemicals kind of do strange things during that time.
Storyteller: Never a dull moment in your house. Now, what's on everyone's agenda tomorrow?
MN: I've got to go to a party at the paper, and there's going to be a huge party at my parents' place.
Nora: On the same day?
MN: Yeah, it's why I was delayed in posting the last photos of Richard's quilt. I was busy helping prepare soup, bread and cookies for about fifty people. And I've got a bunch of presents to wrap.
Nora: Woof. I've got to wrap presents tomorrow and go help my grandmother decorate her place.
Storyteller: And Gillis and I are going to lead a special caroling session in honor of the Festival of the Bells. One of several, actually.

 

[BEAR]

Bert: So you mean the reason you've been so upset is because you don't know what to get for the Secret Santa exchange?
Telly: That's right.
Ernie: Well, why didn't you say so, Telly? We can help you! I need a new baseball mit.
Bert: Ernie!
Telly: No, Ernie. I'm not your Secret Santa.
Bert: Well, whose Secret Santa are you?
Ernie: He can't tell you that, Bert. It's a secret. Khekhekhe!
Bert: Right. Then don't tell us. But you know, Telly, sometimes the best presents are ones you make yourself.
Telly: They are?
Ernie: Right, Bert! Like the rhythm drums I made for you out of those old oatmeal boxes that one Christmas?
Bert: Uuh...yeah!
Telly: But what can I make?
Ernie: What do you like? A lot of times, if it's something you'd enjoy, they'd enjoy!
Bert: Sure! Like those nifty bottle cap Christmas tree ornaments I made for Ernie! Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh!
Ernie: Umm...right, Bert.
Telly: Hey, I think I'm getting an idea. Thanks, guys!
Bert: You're welcome, Telly.
Ernie: Yeah, good luck!
Telly: Bye! (runs off)
Bert: Say, where are those bottle cap ornaments, anyway? They were so beautiful! I didn't see them on the tree.
Ernie: (stuttering, it's obvious he's hidden them away) Umm...uuhh...gee, I dunno, Bert. I'm sure they're around. But hey, what about those drums? I haven't seen them in a long time. What do ya say we get 'em out and play a little "Drummer Boy"?!
Bert: (also hiding the truth) Ummm...Ya know what? I probably forgot to pack them and they are back in our apartment on Sesame Street. Silly me! (Nervous laughter) Eh-eh-eh-eh.
Ernie: Oh.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Beth: Ack! I'm never going to get everything done!
Red: What?
Beth: Christmas is in less than a week! I'm not done shopping yet! I haven't watched my Christmas specials yet!
Wanda: Don't worry, there's still lots of time
Abby: What do you still need to buy?
Beth: My parents presents
Abby: I can help! I made an ornament for my mommy and daddy.
Beth: I suppose I could do that.
Wanda: Would like me to go shopping with you tonight?
Beth: That sounds good
Red: And we can watch all the Christmas shows over the next couple of days while we wrap gifts!
Beth: That sounds good too. Thanks guys, I'm feeling much less stressed now
Abby: Good! *plows into Beth in a hug*
Beth: Oof, thanks Abby.

 

[Ruahnna]

Muppet Labs: Where SOMETHING is being made today!

(Kermit and Piggy and Catherine are walking across campus together. It is snowing—a beautiful day.)
Catherine: (stopping in front of a big imposing building.) Hey guys, I need to talk to you about something.
(Kermit and Piggy look at each other, shrug, then look up at Catherine attentively.)
Kermit: We’re listening.
Catherine: (having a little difficulty broaching the topic) Um, this is sortof hard. I’m not sure…how would you feel if you had to be separated from the one you loved the most forever?
(Kermit and Piggy looked at each other, more than a little alarmed. Kermit steps in front of Piggy protectively.)
Kermit: Look—if this is about the chocolates, then that was all my….
(He is looking at Catherine’s face. This is obviously not about the chocolates.)
Catherine: What chocolates?
Piggy: Nevermind. You were saying something about separating us? (She reaches out and holds on to Kermit’s hand very tightly.
Catherine: What? Oh—no! No no, guys. Not you two. (makes a “dopey me” face) I didn’t mean you two. No one’s trying to separate you.
(They look relieved, but Kermit’s arm slips around Piggy’s waist. Seeing it, Catherine makes a melancholy sort of face.)
Kermit: What’s wrong?
Piggy: You look upset.
Catherine: No, I’m not upset. I just—I want to show you something, and I want you to think really hard before you comment. Can you do that?
Kermit: Sure.
(There is a resounding silence from Piggy. Kermit pulls her hand and gives her a scrunchy face, and she relents.)
Piggy: Oh okay. What is it already?
(Catherine pushes open the door of the building—the Muppet Labs building. They walk in.)
Catherine: Dr. Honeydew and Beaker have been working on something for me and Layla and, um, Robot Kermit.
Piggy: What? Don’t you dare say that…name…. (She shuts her mouth with obvious effort.)
Frog: (with hands on hips) What about Robot Kermit?
Catherine: (very quietly) He’s lonely.
(Piggy and Kermit look at each other, obviously confused. Suddenly, Piggy spins around and looks at Catherine pointedly.)
Piggy: You did not ask him to live with us, did you?
Catherine: Noooo. I, um, we were thinking along different lines.
Piggy: (suspiciously) What lines?
(Dr. Honeydew approaches, with a rather beat-up looking Beaker following cautiously.)
Dr. Honeydew: Oh—welcome! Welcome to Muppet Laboratories, where the future is being made, um, well, most days, anyway. I guess you’re here to see the model.
Beaker: (proudly) Mee mee meep moo! (He presses a button and a large silver cylinder begins to rotate.)
Catherine: That’s right.
Piggy: What model? If there’s going to be another model on campus it had better not be one of those stringy little….
(Everyone falls silent as the tupe spins open. Inside, what could only be described as Piggy’s twin stands still and lifeless. Her blond hair is full and glossy, her cheeks slightly pink. Her physique looks, well, familiar, even in the institution-style dress they have dressed her in. She is wearing bright yellow cleaning gloves. Piggy presses back against Kermit, who puts his arms around her. They are clearly too flabbergasted to speak.)
Kermit: What—who is that?
(Catherine looks at Dr. Honeydew. He shrugs and smiles.)
Catherine: Um, Kermit, Piggy—meet Robot Piggy.
(Without warning, her head snaps up and she looks at them in obvious surprise.)
Robot Piggy: What are you looking at?
(Catherine hastily puts a hand over her mouth, which might be smiling. Kermit starts to smile, too, looking from his girl to the robot version of her in delight. It is impossible to guess what he is thinking, but whatever it is, he is enjoying himself. Piggy looks too startled to move. She looks into the big blue eyes of the bot and finds Robot Piggy staring at her with the same look of shocked recognition. It goes on for at least 30 long seconds, then Robot Piggy tilts her head slightly to the left.)
Robot Piggy: You have a much better ensemble that these two clowns provided.
(Dr. Honeydew laughs. Beaker puts a hand over his mouth.)
Piggy: (archly) Thank you, dear, but I must say you manage to do a lot with what you’ve been given to work with.
(Kermit continues to look from one to the other.)
Catherine: Oh, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker—she’s, she’s marvelous.
Robot Piggy and Piggy: Thank you.
Kermit: And this is—this, um, Piggy would be for, um, Robot Kermit?
(Two identical blond heads snap around and glare at him.)
Robot Piggy and Piggy: What do you mean, for Robot Kermit?
(It is Kermit’s turn to back up against Catherine protectively.)
Kermit: I just meant that, um, (whispering) help me!
Catherine: I think what Kermit was trying to say is that this, um, beautiful bot might enjoy meeting another bot. They’d probably have loads in common.
Robot Piggy: (whispering audibly to Piggy) He’s cute. Is he yours?
Piggy: (firmly) Yep.
Kermit: Now wait just a minute, um…. (He subsides after getting two identical “don’t mess with me stares)
Piggy: But he has a, um, a brother. He’s cute, too. A little pushy, maybe.
Robot Piggy: I don’t mind pushy. I can push back.
Catherine: Maybe we can set you two up on a, um, blind date, or something.
Robot Piggy: (holding out the folds of the dress) Not in this thing.
Piggy: I can help you there, dear. In fact-- (she takes off her silk scarf and passes it over to Robot Piggy, who takes it and drapes it fashionably around her shoulders) There—that’s better. (Some. Not much) We’ll work on it.
Catherine: (aside to Dr. Honeydew) Can she—is she ready to leave?
Dr. Honeydew: I’m afraid not. I’ve got to run a few more diagnostics before I think it would be safe, um, heh heh, I mean advisable to let her go with you.
Robot Piggy: What do you mean, I can’t go? I feel fine.
Beaker: Mee mee moop me.
Robot Piggy: What do you mean I’m still plugged in. (She turns around and sees, to her obvious horror, that she is indeed still tethered to the wall by an electrical cable.)
Dr. Honeydew: I haven’t, um, put the, um, (whispering) winding mechanism in yet.
Robot Piggy: What? What was that?
Catherine: (diplomatically) You can’t come home yet. Dr. Honeydew is still running some, um, medical tests. And besides—you don’t want to be seen outside in those clothes.
Robot Piggy and Piggy: You got that right.
Catherine: Um, Piggy—would you like to go and bring something a little more suitable for, um, Robot Piggy to wear?
Piggy: (excitedly) Oooh! We could play dress up! (She starts excitedly for the door, pauses, then runs back and plants a big wet smooch on Kermit, who staggers at little after she has let him go. Piggy gives Robot Piggy a hard look.) Mine. Got it?
Kermit: (weakly) Sheesh…
(Robot Piggy shrugs elaborately.)
Robot Piggy: The goods ones always get taken.
(Piggy exits.)
Dr. Honeydew: Oh, good. I was hoping I could get Kermit to help me test a couple of things before we…. (He presses a button, and Robot Piggy reaches out, grabs Kermit and plants an identical big wet smooch on the startled amphibian. He is decidedly weak in the knees when she lets him go, but he looks very happy.)
Kermit: (faintly) Double sheesh.
Catherine: Anything else?
(There is a moment—just a moment—when Kermit suspects what might be coming next. It passes, and before he can react, Robot Piggy shouts “Hi ya” and sends him sailing across the room to crash into some Christmas presents.)
Dr. Honeydew: Kermit?
Kermit: (standing slowly and holding his middle) Oh yeah. Just perfect.
Catherine: (helping Kermit to his feet) You okay?
Kermit: I will be.
Robot Piggy: When can I get out of here?
Dr. Honeydew: Soon. Very soon. Is Layla coming to get her?
(Catherine nods.)
Catherine: She said to call. Robot Piggy, honey—Piggy will be back soon with some clothes, okay? And Kermit and I will see you later, alright?
Robot Piggy: (a little sulky) Oh alright.
Catherine: Oh, thank you Dr. Honeydew! Thank you Beaker!
(Catherine leans down and kisses Dr. Honeydew on the top of his little bald head. He blushes and giggles, and Beaker lines up hopefully. Catherine laughs and kisses the top of his tufty red head fondly.)
Kermit: Don’t look at me—I’ve had quite enough kisses for, um, this morning. (The little smile is back on his face.)
Catherine: By Robot Piggy—we’ll see you soon!