Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[BEAR]

Telly: (walking down the sidewalk outside the dorm house) Hmm...what can I get? There's gotta be something I could give.
Easter Bunny: Hey, did I hear someone say they needed something to give? As in a present?
Telly: Yeah, that was me! Who are you?
EB: Why, I'm the Easter Bunny!
Telly: The Easter Bunny? But isn't Easter not for another four months? What are you doing here at the Muppet Dorms in the middle of winter?
EB: Hey, I celebrate Christmas too. Besides, I thought I'd get a head start on the Easter rush. Now what's your story, kid? You look a little down.
Telly: Well, you see, I need to get a Christmas present for my friend, but I'm having trouble coming up with just the right thing.
EB: No problem! You've come to the right place!
Telly: I have?
EB: That's right, my little purple friend! Have you considered something along the lines of a beautifully colored egg?
Telly: An Easter egg?
EB: Of course an Easter egg! (cheery music starts) Not many people realize what a unique gift an Easter egg can be!
Telly: Oh yeah?

Easter Bunny: (sings) Buy your friend an Easter egg for Christmas
Easter eggs are useful as can be
Take your Christmas money to your local Bunny
And you can lay an egg beneath the Christmas tree.
Easter eggs no longer just for Easter
They're versatile in just so many ways
It's the universal gift
So give a pal a lift
And buy a Christmas Easter egg today.
Telly: I dunno. I mean, I don't think he'll get much use out of it. He is a gro--
Easter Bunny: What do you mean? Who wouldn't like a festive Easter egg?!
Telly: Well...
Easter Bunny: There's so much you can do with them besides hide them in the back yard!
Telly: There is?!
Easter Bunny: Sure!
You can make a nose with it
You can smell a rose with it
You can touch your toes with it
You can even pose with it
You can bake a pie with it
You can make an eye with it
You can name it Fred--Hi, Fred!
Or Break it on your head!

Soooo give your friend an Easter egg for Christmas
I only have a few so don't delay
Here's your chance, so grab it
See a local rabbit
And buy a lovely Easter egg for Christmas today!
(end of song)

Telly: Wow! I never realized Easter eggs could be so fun! You've talked me into it and I'll take a whole dozen.
EB: You got it!
Telly: Oh, but I don't really have much money.
EB: Oh. Well, I'm a sympathetic bunny, so I'll tell ya what...They're on the house.
Telly: Really?!
EB: Consider it a gift. Merry Christmas!
Telly: Gee, thanks, Mr. Easter Bunny!
EB: Oh, you can call me Harvey.
Telly: Thanks, Harvey! And Merry Christmas! Haha! (Telly excitedly starts walking back to room 29 with a carton of Easter eggs) This is so great! Harvey was right. Who wouldn't like an Easter egg. They're so colorful and...(suddenly tripping over a toy left in the middle of the hallway) Whooops!!! (Telly falls over the egg carton smashing every single egg) Oh no!! The Easter eggs are ruined! Now what am I gonna do? These are ungivable. (Telly takes the carton of now smashed Easter eggs and throws them away in the 2nd floor common room trash can) I guess I'll just have to look for something else. (goes back to room 29)

 

[The Count]

Thanks for letting me know Ryan, he's welcome here any time... Even if a certain undead personage kicks him out of the theater...

Well, just got a great surprise. Or rather my mom did, as my sister just got back from her first semester of studying medicine in Mexico. She'll be here for the holidays... And if that isn't a true blue miracle, I don't know what one is.
Sorry to "borrow" your sigline Bry.

Good night everybody.

 

[BEAR]

That's okay, Ed. You may take from my sig line anytime. Besides, it shall be changing a bit later tonight to go with the next holiday review.

 

[Erine81981]

Well guys. Since I pretty much rested up I'm going to watch some TV now. Anyone want to join me? *looks around to see Herry, Cookie, Grover and Maurice all asleep*

Grover: *in the chair beside the love seat* Zzzzzzzzz........

Herry: *leaning against the same chair that Grover is in* Zzzzzzzzzzz.....

Maurice: *asleep in the other chair* Zzzzzzzzzz.......

Cookie M: *on the floor in front of the TV with a box of cookies* Zzzzzzzzzzz......

Oh well. Guess they got to tired of waiting. *chuckles and turns on the TV* Oh also....tonight the dorms were brought you by the letter "Y".........and by the number "18." Muppet Dorms is a production of a Muppet Central Workshop. Good night everybody.

 

[The Count]

B-Day Announcement.

Hello from the dorms' management team.

Exciting news... First of all, I'm waiting on all members of the admissions committee to weigh in on their current assignment, check your PM boxes those of you who are committee members.
Secondly... Today, December 17, is Little Bird's birthday. And because of a slight oversight on my part, we will also be celebrating Emmett Otter's birthday which was December 15. The party will be held later this afternoon/evening, I hope to see some familiar faces there. If you can't attend the party, then I'd hope you left some token of appreciation letting Emmett and Little Bird know that their birthdays are important to the rest of us and we wish them a joyous one to the both of them.

That is all, have a good day.

 

[Ruahnna]

Heckle the Halls with lots of surprises....

(The classrooms are still full, the hallway mostly empty. In a moment, classes will be letting out. Catherine, Piggy and Kermit are waiting in the hallway for Fozzie’s Advanced Heckler Defense Strategy to let out so they can take Fozzie out to lunch at Everybody Eats. Catherine looks at her watch again. Not quite five minutes to go. Behind her, Kermit and Piggy are bickering amiably—as they have been for the past several days. The topic is ridiculous and irrelevant—something about the “true” color of Christmas, and Catherine has tuned it out with effort. The bell rings and students of all persuasions begin to surge into the hall. Catherine cranes her neck, and Kermit and Piggy take enough notice of it to at least suspend their argument to help her look. No one emerges from the classroom where Fozzie is supposed to be, but they wait patiently.)
Catherine: Thanks for coming, guys. I hope this will cheer Fozzie up. He’s been really down about this class.
Piggy: Last night when I got up to make myself a little snack, he was just sitting at the kitchen table staring into space.
(Kermit and Catherine are both staring at her, and Piggy bristles at once.)
Piggy: (snappishly) I can make a sandwich by myself, okay?
Catherine: (muttering to Kermit) Good to know….
Piggy: Oh, shut up.
(Catherine laughs and puts a conciliatory arm around her.)
Catherine: Okay, Honey—sorry. Couldn’t resist. And Fozzie was just sitting there?
Piggy: Uh huh. Staring wide-eyed at the wall.
Kermit: And I know he hasn’t been sleeping. I can hear him tossing and turning in the next room, and sometimes he gets up and paces.
Catherine: Oh, poor thing! I didn’t know that! I hope we can cheer him up. I’ll be glad when this Heckler Defense Strategy—
(Someone touches her arm. Catherine turns and finds a polite young man smiling at her apologetically.)
Keenan: Hi—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be eavesdropping, but I thought I heard you mention the heckling defense class?
Kermit: That’s right. We’re looking for our friend, Fozzie Bear.
Keenan: Yeah—he’s in my class. We got out early—about thirty minutes ago. (He nodded toward the classroom across the hall.) My girlfriend’s in the class across the hall, so I’m just hanging out until her class gets done.
Kermit: Gee thanks, um—
Keenan: Keenan. Keenan Jacobs.
Kermit: Thanks, Keenan. Did you see which way Fozzie went?
Keenan: (apologetically) Sorry—I didn’t. It was kindof crazy. I didn’t notice. (He eyes the trio with interest.) So, you guys are friends of Fozzie?
Piggy: We’re his room-mates.
(For a moment, Keenan looks startled, then his face clears.)
Keenan: Oh, right! You guys are in the Muppet Dorm.
Kermit: Um hum. Uh, say—you’re in this class with Fozzie?
Keenan: Right.
Kermit: What’s it like?
(Keenan sighs and runs a hand around his neck.)
Keenan: It’s not a cake-walk. Those old guys are tough.
(There is a ripple of excitement and Catherine, Kermit and Piggy all stare at each other. Old guys? What old guys? Kermit finds his voice first.)
Kermit: Pardon me, but—old guys? What old guys?
Keenan: The instructors. (He looks puzzled for a moment, then his face clears.) Oh, that’s right. I guess most of the students haven’t ever seen them. They stay up in the sound booth for the whole class—says it adds to the impersonal nature of the heckler in the audience.
Catherine: (dryly) Oh, is that right.
Keenan: Yeah. So I guess I’m probably the only one who’s ever seen them outside of class. (He smiles ruefully.) Had the flu around Halloween and had to schedule a makeup test, so I went to their office off campus.
Piggy: Off campus, huh?
Keenan: Yeah. Some sort of business. I think they work for a movie place—doing online reviews or something like that.
Piggy: (indignantly) Why I ought to—
Catherine: (interjecting smoothly) Um, Keenan, could you tell me the name of these two instructors. I remember it wasn’t in the admissions manual.
Keenan: Oh, sure. There’s um, Mr. Radisson and Mr. Hyatt.
(There is another electric pause, and Fozzie’s three room-mates find their faces settling into angry masks.)
Catherine: (as sweetly as possible through gritted teeth) And how about the address of their, um, office?
Keenan: No problem. He scribbles something on a page of his notebook and tears the page out. Kermit takes it and looks at it, nodding to himself.
Catherine: Gee, thanks Keenan. We sure appreciate your help.
Keenan: No problem. Happy to assist.
(People are streaming out of the classroom now, and a young lady with straight blonde hair in a shining braid joins him. He waves and moves off.)
Kermit: Good luck on your exam!
(After he is gone, there are three very annoyed people left in the hallway. They exchange looks and nods.)
Kermit: (naturally assuming the leadership role) Okay, guys—first, let’s find Fozzie and take him to lunch. I don’t want him to know about this. Then I say we pay a little visit to “Mr. Radisson” and “Mr. Hyatt.” Hmm?
Catherine: Count me in!
Piggy: Lead on, Mon Capitan.

 

[The Count]

Hmmm... And here I thought there'd be some sort of party tonight for Emmett and Little Bird.
Oh well, I'll just leave their presents with a card from all of us...

*Deposits a Happy Birthday card along with a jug of Mama's Barbecue Sauce and a second jug of apple juice, wrapped inside a warm fluffy blanket at Room #8's door for Emmett.

*Leaves a Happy Birthday card along with a packet of Birdseed Crispies, a knit ski cap, and a vibrant red winter sweater for Little Bird outside the door to Room #27.

 

[tvlistingman]

LITTLE BIRD: Guess what Ed and the Count gave me!!!

PETER: What is it Little Bird

LITTLE BIRD: a packet of Birdseed Crispies, a knit ski cap, and a vibrant red winter sweater for Little Bird outside the door to Room #27.

ZOE: Cool, Little Bird

BABY BEAR: Peter, Zoe and Me got something for your birthday

LITTLE BIRD: What is it?

BABY BEAR: It is mini birdseed cookies

PETER: Here they are

LITTLE BIRD: Thank You, Peter, Zoe and Baby Bear

PETER: You're welcome, Little Bird

BABY BEAR: That's awesome

LITTLE BIRD: How do I look, guys

PETER: Whoa, you look stylin' Little Bird

LITTLE BIRD: Thank you!!!

ZOE: You are dressed for winter!!!

 

[The Count]

A huge sigh of relief can be heard downstairs from the first room of the dorms...

Mmm, finished!
Count: Vas the essay exam?
Yep... Will send it to Mom so she can give it a once-over, and then I'll go through it after she sends it back and do a bit of finetuning myself. But the main thing is that I'll be able to sleep well tonight, not worrying about having to work into the midnight hours on that headache.
Count: Vonderful.
Yeah, come on, let's see if there's anything of the football games left on TV.

 

[Leyla]

<Leyla is sitting outside, bundled up in thick winter clothes and a large navy blanket. She's got a lit candle in front of her and and matchbook by her feet. Every once in a while a gust of wind will blow out her candle and she strikes a match and lights it again.>

Leyla: <frowns at the matchbook> Gonna need to pick up some more matches this week.

After a while Wanda approaches, similarly bundled up and holding a flashlight with rapidly failing batteries.

Wanda: Leyla, honey? Are you ready to come in now?

Leyla: <softly> He 's been missing for a long time now, Wanda. I'm.... I'm sick with worry. I miss my robot.

Wanda: <letting the flashlight drop to her side> I know. I... I actually miss him too.

Leyla: <crossly> You shouldn't say it like that, Wanda.

Wanda: <taken aback> I'm... I'm sorry I didn't mean-

Leyla: You say that like it's some sort of concession on your part. He's a good roommate, and a good friend, And it just isn't the SAME without... <she chokes on her words>

Wanda: <cautiously> Are you sure, you're not... you know, just remembering how you WANT to remember him? I mean, he was pretty annoying... as far as robot frogs go.... and let's not forget how thrilled you were with him when he pulled that trick on Piggy.

Leyla: I haven't forgotten anything, Wanda. He's definately got a mischievous side, but, you know, he's... he's sort of like a kid. He doesn't understand that he upsets people. His heart is in the right place.

Wanda: Leyla... robot's don't have-

Leyla: Fine! His artificial heart, is in the right place... even when the rest of him isn't! Kermit and Piggy are fine now.

Wanda: Last I saw them, they were arguing about colours.

Leyla: Exactly. They're fine now. Ru told me as much, anyway... actually... we've been talking a lot lately, and we think we have a plan to help Robot Kermit feel a little more... at home here. There's a lot to do before Christmas though, and first we've got to find him!

Wanda: <comfortingly> He couldn't have gone far. He did leave that nice photo of Piggy and Kermit, the REAL Kermie, at their door two days ago. I guess it's a peace offering.

Leyla: See what I mean? He's a NICE robot.

Wanda: ...yeah, I guess you're right. <she shifts awkwardly> Well, I... it's getting cold. Don't stay out too long?

Leyla: I'm Canadian. I don't mind the cold that much. I'll see you in a bit, Wanda. Keep Jimmy from drinking all the egg nog, please.

Wanda: Yeah, okay. <she leaves as quietly as she came, stumbling a little since her flashlight has gone out.>

<Twenty minutes later a rather woebegone frog flops into the snow beside Leyla>

Leyla: Hey Kermit. Everything okay with you and Piggy? Did you decide what colour Christmas is?

Robot Kermit: Uh... Leyla, it's... it's me. Robot-

Leyla: <tackling him with a hug> Kermit!!!

Piggy: <from out a window> What about my frog?

Leyla: Oh. Um... this one's mine, Piggy! Go snuggle with your own. <to RK> Oh, you're back! I missed you!

RK: I heard. You- uh, you really want me back?

Leyla: Well, as much fun as it is to sit in the cold air night after night with no one for company but a candle...<she lets it go> Yes, of course I do.

RK: And...uh... everyone else?

Leyla: Them too, silly frog. Uh, silly robot frog.

RK: <contritely> I'm sorry.

Leyla: <just as contritely> Me too... but, don't worry... I think... I think by the time Christmas rolls around, we all be feeling much better.

RK: Really?

Leyla: <smiles secretively> Absolutely. Now, come on inside. I saved you some egg nog, and that wasn't easy with Jimmy around! He's crazy about the stuff apparently!