Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[BeakerSqueedom]

Hmmm... Maybe Newsy has a lead on Cookie's whereabouts on today's noontime or 5 o'clock news. Sounds like Bunsen's been borrowing techfrom Reed in an attempt to build his own universal translator thingamajiggy. Still has a few hiccups to work out, but it's generally underschtandable.

[OOC: Trans-thingamajigwas not used.
The German part was....just a bit of a correction on that comment of yours.
Not as flawless, but worth a shot.]

 

[The Count]

Hee... That was a Fantastic Four reference Squeekers. Your translative techniques are positivamente digno de honores (positively honorably worthy).
Take care gang. Maybe fics will get updatage soonerishkibbible or something like that.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Oh, sorry.
Airhead moment.
Yes, Eddie...
more fics will be updated today.


Bunsen:
I think...
I think it's working now.

Claudia:

YOU SPEAK ENGLISH!

Beaker:
Meee.

Bunsen:
Don't worry, Beaker.
You will always be...er...sexy...
Er....even without the spanish.

Dr. Van Neuter:
WARRRUUUMM?

Claudia:
Doc?

Dr. Van Neuter:
Nah, I'm just joking around.

Claudia:
(Faints)

 

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty stands in the doorway of the room.

Lefty: Da weirdest ting just happened...

Tony: Somebody take you for a nickel?

Lefty: Smart guy, eh?

Tony: What happened, Lefty?

Lefty: I walked into da room wit da scientists...and all of a sudden, I began speakin' Spanish!

Tony: Why?

Lefty: How should I know? I just was!

Tony: Say something in Spanish now.

Lefty: I can't! Dat's what I'm tryin' ta tell ya! As soon as I left da room, I couldn't remember a woid I said!

Tony (turns on TV) Huh. Wonder what's on TV...

Lefty: Ah, forgit you! I don't need you or your play!

Tony: Finally gave up, huh?

Lefty: Nope. I wrote my own!

Tony: What?

Lefty: I wrote my own play.

Tony: You wrote your own play?

Lefty: Yep!

Tony: When?

Lefty: Dis mornin'.

Tony: You wrote a whole play this morning?

Lefty: Yep. I scribbled it on a buncha napkins while I was havin' my coffee...(Lefty pulls dirty, wadded napkins out of his pockets; some fall to the floor) I have da tee-ater's next masterpiece right here! Ya want me ta read it?

Tony: Nope.

Lefty: Okay. (reads from napkin) Gerrble-junka-poiunearr...oops! It's upside down...riiiiight! (turns napkin rightside up) Okay. Act One, Scene One...

 

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty's play...

As Lefty reads, he imagines an elaborate production...

Lefty: Da stage is empty. A single spotlight picks up me. I stand and address da audience...

Lefty (on stage, wearing his usual getup) Hello...audience. I'm glad ya could make it ta my show. Sorry dat it cost more dan a nickel, dough. But when ya see da talent up here, I bet yer gonna end up payin' more by da time ya leave!

Wow, I never taught I'd have my own show. My roommate was writin' a play, and he wouldn't let me be in it, even dough I broke my back auditionin' fer him!

(loud boos from audience)

Heh heh...dat's okay...I had my friend Crazy Harry attach wires to his head while he was sleepin'...da next mornin' my roommate wasn't in da room...he was all over da room, if ya get my meanin'! (winks)

(The audience applauds wildly)

Lefty: An' now ta start da show, I'd like ta sing youse a song...(turns to pianist) Maestro!

(Music begins; Lefty starts to sing)

Lefty

All youse people are good ta me...
All youse people believe in me...
All youse people are friends ta me...
All youse people paid yer money ta see me!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Hit it!

(The lights come up, revealing a full orchestra pit; the music picks up speed, and Lefty begins dancing across the stage)

I gots money from my mommy,
I gots money from my dad,
I gots money from my grandpa,
Twenty bucks, hey, dat ain't bad!

I gots money from my sister,
I gots money from my bro,
I gots money from da cop,
SHHHHHH! He doesn't know!

I gots money from my uncle,
I gots money out of hock,
I gots money from my auntie,
I got two bits from Mr. Spock!

I gots money,
I gots money,
I gots moneeeeeeeeeeey!

(The curtains open to reveal a large chorus line of dancers, all dressed exactly as Lefty)

Lefty: Ladies and gentlemen...Lefty and da Rights!

Chorus (sing, as Lefty weaves in and out of chorus line, ad-libbing "riiiiight," etc.)

He gots money from his mommy,
He gots money from his dad,
He gots money from his grandpa,
Twenty bucks, hey, that ain't bad!

Lefty: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Chorus

He gots money from his sister,
He gots money from his bro,
He gots money from the cop,

Lefty & Chorus:

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Chorus (whispering)

He doesn't know!

He gots money from his uncle,
He gots money out of hock,
He gots money from his auntie,
He got two bits from Mr. Spock!

Lefty (giving Mr. Spock's hand sign, but inexplicably using Mork's catchphrase)

Na-nu, Na-nu!

CHORUS
He gots money,
He gots money,
He gots moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!

(The lights go down again, save for a single spot. Lefty sits on the edge of the stage and crosses his legs, a la Judy Garland)

Lefty: Ya know...I like money. Naw, scratch dat...I love money! An' I love da fact dat youse people paid a lotta money on accounta seein' me in poison here tonight, when ya could have gone to a movie or somethin' more edumacational. But money soitenly rocks my woild, as I'm sure ya know...and if ya don't...what are ya doin' here? Ya knew comin' in dat I was a money-hog, so ya already knew what you was gettin' into...riiiiiight! An' if ya don't like it, ya kin leave, what do I care? I already got yer money, riiight, riiiight! An' don't even bother goin' back to da box office tryin' ta get yer money back! Dere ain't gonna be any refunds! In fact, if ya looked at da posters an' billboards outside of dis thea-ter, it clearly states in gigantic, bold letters, even bigger dan my own name: Absolutely, Positevely NO Refunds! (mouths "I love you")

(Lefty stands, and the lights come up)

Let's take it home, goils!

(Lefty joins the Rights in the center, and does a kick line with them, as the number comes to an end)

Lefty & Chorus

Oh, I love my money,
It ain't funny,
How I love my money,
I love it so...

An' if ya don't like me,
Well dat's too darn bad,
'Cause you've already spent
Way too much on my shoooow!

(wild applause)

Lefty: Tank you! Tank you! Aw, yer too kind! Tank you! Tank you so much!

(thousands of roses are thrown on the stage from all directions; Lefty continues to bow)

Really! Yer all too kind! Stop it, please! Really! Aw, you're all so wunnerful...you're...

(a thorn from a flying rose hits Lefty in the eye)

Lefty: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUCCCHHHHHHH! Who trew dat? HUH? Who trew dat rose? I wanna know who trew dat (the loud applause washes over Lefty's next word, which is rather naughty) rose! Dat's it! Lower da coiton! Lower da coiton! Da show is over! It's over!

The curtain falls.

 

[The Count]

*Good sigh. Okay, another portion of that thing's been sorted out. Now I can rest for a little while before taking up the cause for another round. Hey Count, I'm waiting for aFraggle DVD to arrive in the mail.
Count: Oh, what for?
I'm gonna watch a few episodes and see if there's enough to draft a sort of research into the judicial systems of the cavé dwellers, both Fraggle and Doozer alike. Might also watch the Fraggle Wars episode, could line up an interview with Beige if Erin can help me with that.
Count: Sounds interesting.

Yep... *Hits the sac for a good rest-up.

BTW: Ryan, Erin, Kim, Kyle, Bryan, Beth, I need your answers on the current application for residency here at the dorms. Thanks, I'll stay in contact with you all.

 

[Katzi428]

Prairie:sighPoor Lefty.He wants to be in a show so bad!
Rosita:Hey Prairie!You write plays!Why don't you put Lefty in one of yours?
Yeah...that's a good idea!
Prairie:It's a good idea.Except I haven't gotten any ideas of what to write a play about.My brain feels empty.
You'll come up with something. I have faith in you Prairie.Just keep thinking.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
Lefty...what in the name of...

Claudia:
Shush it, Doc!
He was GREAT!
ENCORE! ENCORE!

Dr. Van Neuter:
Look, I have a song to go with that shake.
Hold on.

Tryin' to steal our spotlight.
I'll show him a thing or two.

[Pushes Claudia back in her seat roughly]

[New York theme plays]

Start givin' the dough
I'm takin' it today!

I want to be a part of it,
money, money!

These valuable greens
are longing to stray (into my pocket).
And through the very heart of it---money, money!

I want to wake up in a bank that doesn't sleep!
To find I'm king of your hill, top of your heap!

These little dorm blues
are meltin' away.

I'm gonna make a brand new start of it
in that old green.

If I can spend it there!
I'll spend it anywhere!

It's up to me, money, money!

Claudia:
OOF!

Dr. Van Neuter:
Money, money!

I wanna wake up in a bank that doesn't sleep!
To find I'm number one, top of your list, king of your hill!

A numberrrr onnnneee!

Theeesseee liitttlleee dooorrrmmm bluuueesss!
Areee melttiiinngg awwaaayyy!

I'm gonna make a brrraanndd neeeww staarrtt offf itt!
in that--old green.

And if I can spend it there!
I'll spend it anywhere!

It's up to me,

Money.

Monneeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

[Audience boos at Neuter]

BRING BACK THE THEIF!

Claudia:
(Shakes head at the poor muppet)
You heard them...
Bring back the theif.

 

[The Count]

Well... If you say so...

Uncle D, help a bat brutha out.
*The dragon takes to the organ, electrifying it with a sort of shuffle-up surround spook sound eminating out of the ol' pipes.

Me, with a sort of raspy sinister soul voice:
Oh the shark has.
Pretty teeth dear.
And he shows his.
:big grinearly whites.
Just a jackknife.
Has old Mac Heath babe.
And he keeps it.
Outta sight.

Now the shark bites.
With his teeth dear.
Scarlet billows.
Start to spread.
*Picking up the tempo.
Fancy gloves wears.
Old Mac Heath babe.
So there's never!
Nevah any trace of red.

Out on the sidewalk.
Sunny morning doncha know.
Lies a body there.
Just oozing life.
Egad!
Someone's sneakin'.
Round the corner.
Could that someone...
Be Mac the Knife?

There's a tugboat.
Down by the river doncha know.
Where cement bags.
Are drooping on down.
That cement is just.
It's meant for weight there.
5 will getcha 10 there.
O Mac he's back in town.

Now did ya hear bout Bobby Miller?
He disappeared oh yeah.
After drawing out.
All his hard-earned cash.
And now Mac Heath's babe.
Living like a sailor.
Could it be...
Our boy's done something rash?

Count, getting in on the act:
Now Suzy Tawdry!
Me: Oh Jenny Diver.
UD: Look out miss Lollie Lang yeah!
Me: And ol' Lucy Brown.
Yes the live ones.
Are the right bait.
Now that Mac's...
Baaaaaaaack intooooown!

*Song ends with a reprise of the last verse, with a longer version of the last two lines.

 

[BEAR]

*Good sigh. Okay, another portion of that thing's been sorted out. Now I can rest for a little while before taking up the cause for another round. Hey Count, I'm waiting for aFraggle DVD to arrive in the mail.
Count: Oh, what for?
I'm gonna watch a few episodes and see if there's enough to draft a sort of research into the judicial systems of the cavé dwellers, both Fraggle and Doozer alike. Might also watch the Fraggle Wars episode, could line up an interview with Beige if Erin can help me with that.
Count: Sounds interesting.

Yep... *Hits the sac for a good rest-up.

BTW: Ryan, Erin, Kim, Kyle, Bryan, Beth, I need your answers on the current application for residency here at the dorms. Thanks, I'll stay in contact with you all.

Bryan: Bert, would you send this note down to Ed for me?
Bert: No problem! (walks over to window where Bernice sits) Bernice, please take this down to room 1.
(Bernice takes note in beak)
Bert: Thank you! Air mail. Eh-eh-eh-eh!

(The note reads: Ed, I got 4 okays back from Beth, Kathy, Ryan and Kyle. I say yes too. I don't really know them yet, so how can I say no?)