One Man's Monkey, Part III
Don: You really should stand up for yourself more, Sal. Your loyalty to Johnny is an inspiration, but you deserve to be treated better.
Sal: Gee, thanks, Don.. the closest to a compliment I ever get from Johnny is “get over here you stupid monkey!”.
Don: You see what I mean? You’re a great monkey and anyone would be very lucky to have you around.
Sal: (shrugging with disbelief) Really?
Don: You look after Johnny without a second thought.. I don’t think he’d be half as successful without you. He’d probably still be living with him mom.
(They both chuckle.)
Sal: Yeah, but Johnny’s not so bad. You get used to him after a while.
Don: You “get used to” being underappreciated and overworked.
Sal: Well, I mean.. it’s not as bad as all that. Johnny means well, really, he does.. he just doesn’t express himself very well.
Don: (nods) If you say so, Sal. I just think you could use more independence, you know? I don’t mean anything against Johnny Fiama.
Sal: Yeah, I know.. I can usually tell if someone means offense to Johnny. You’re just looking out for me.. it’s kinda nice for someone to be thinking about me for a change.
Don: All right, Sal.. I’m sure you know what’s best for — (pauses, noticing that Sal is tearing up). Sal, what’s wrong?
Sal: Nothing.
Don: Come on, Sal. . .
Sal: (wiping his eyes) It’s just odd for someone to be just talking to me, you know.. without asking me to do something or spending the whole time talking about themselves. I’m not used to it, that’s all . . . well, until now, I’ve never really experienced that before. It’s a heartwarming feeling, whatever it is.
Don: It’s friendship, Sal.
Sal: (smiling) Yeah…
(some time later, as a gesture of thanks, Sal insists on ironing Don Music’s shirts)
Johnny: (entering the room) Sal! With my own iron?!
Sal: (shaking his head) It’s not whatcha think, Johnny!
Johnny: I can see.
Sal: I was just.. helping.
(Johnny spins around and leaves the room.)
Sal: (running after him) Oh, no! Johnny, wait for me.. Johnny? I can explain!
(I enter the room, after nearly being knocked down by an outgoing Sal)
Randall: What's wrong with them?
Don: I tried to make Sal feel more appreciated, and he wanted to thank me for looking out for him by ironing my shirt.. over my protests, even.. you know I look better in wrinkles.
Randall: Of course you do, Don.
Don: Well, anyway, Johnny caught him ironing my shirts and took it personally.
(Sal finally catches Johnny on the steps outside the MC Dorms.. Sal sits down beside him)
Johnny: (turning away) Don’t talk to me.
Sal: I was just ironing his shirts, Johnny.. we’re roomies, it should be ok to help each other out sometimes.
Johnny: I put a roof over your head Sal.. we spend almost all of every day together.. that’s not something most friends have.
Sal: We’re really friends, Johnny?
Johnny: (turns toward Sal) Of course we are.. You don't think I'd hang around with just any monkey, do you? I don’t spend so much time or talk so much with anyone else.. and I like to think that you do the same.. That man is trying to take you away from me, Sal.
Sal: Gee, Johnny, I don’t think so.. I think he was just trying to help.. he doesn’t know us that well, yet.. he’ll get used to it.. you’re my best friend in the whole wide world, Johnny.. and nothing’s ever gonna change that.
Johnny: That’s nice, Sal.. Ma always liked you.
Sal: That’s good.. she makes great cannolis!
Johnny: Well, all right, Sal.. let’s go back inside. I've to work on some jokes for next week's show.
Sal: Great, Johnny! You know, I can’t imagine anyone ever taking your place.
Johnny: (nods) And I don’t want you ironing that man’s shirts.
Sal: Ok, Johnny.
(A short time later, Johnny and Sal enter the room to Don, once again, banging his head on his piano)
Don: I'll never get it! Never! Never!
Johnny: Earthquake!
Sal: Save yourself, Johnny! Flee!!
Johnny: No, No.. save Tony Bennett!!
(They rush over to stabilize a wobbly Tony Bennett)
Johnny: You got him there, Sal??
Sal: Yeah.. I got him. It'd have to be a real earthquake to knock him over now.
Johnny: (getting up from Tony's side and collapsing into his desk chair) Good.. just hold him there.. I'll let you know when Don's tantrum is over.
Sal: Right, Johnny!
Johnny: Boy, am I exhausted. Whew!
Randall: (shaking my head) Back to old times...
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