It Was Me
Chapter 4
~~~
As Miss Piggy, and I rode inside the limo, Miss Piggy angled her face straight to me, as if my face shown its manly; undying glow. She batted her thick, black eyelashes at me again in such a flirtatious manner--
"Oh, Link... mon capitanie..."
I gulped, "Y-yes, Miss Piggy?"
"Isn't the night beautiful, mon chere?"
"Yes, my dear. The moon has such a glow, but the moon isn't you at all... the view is too small to make a comparison between a big pig, and a shiny, microscopic circle."
Miss Piggy glared at me. "What?!"
I redeemed. "Yes--I--I mean no... your glow's as, uhh, shiny as the moon's."
"Is that so," she smiled. "You know, Link. You flaunt in such a sexy way, no man could ever do. I mean, you're so macho, so ravishing, so..."
She pulled me closer aganist her chest, then my lips pressed aganist Miss Piggy's wet lips-- we kissed. I was quite dumbfounded.
"How about a smidge of chapstick next time? That was kind of dry. No offense, honey."
Miss Piggy angerily wailed. "Link... how could you say such a replusive thing to me
Listen Buster, that is no way to flatter a woman. Don't you understand that hurt me?" she sniffed.
I redeemed again.
"No."
"Link. At least say something compassionate, or I'll throw you into the heap!" she cried.
"Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I suffer from stupidity, but you know I'm beautiful."
Miss Piggy giggled.
"Link, dear. I think we're here already. Can vous be a gentleman, and lead me to the fancy dining facility?"
I cringed nervously, trying my best to man up, "Y-Yes, dear."
I slowly got out, then offered Miss Piggy my hand to dispart from the limo. I was the one who had to tip the chauffeur a twenty.
I eleganty held the door open for Miss Piggy. I tipped my hat,
"After you, my dear."
"Merci, g
rand garçon."
"Pardon?"
"Link, you stupid boy... I meant 'Thank you, big boy.' How silly of moi."
I jumped into the conclusion, "That I am, but
I'm a man."
"Link. Would you kindly hold my purse. I must run to the little girl's room."
I nodded my anwser, and held her purse casually as I waited.
Miss Piggy. Oh, Miss Piggy, my heart, and soul-- everything had to go her way. Women.