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LinkiePie<3
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Well, this is going to be my "new" first Muppet fan-fic, starring Link Hogthrob as our protagonist and narrator. <3
~Chapter 1
It was a typical evening in the late 1970's. I, Link Hogthrob was looking for employment in the theatre industry. Soon, I had come across an ornate, yet ancient looking theatre, titled Muppet Theatre. The theatre was at least a century old. Though, for a man as handsome as me, I would bring in a little sunshine of my natural curse. Hey, I like sunny days.
"Wayne, Wanda... you're fired!"
A certain sage-colored amphibian outraged himself at some Nelson Eddy and Janet McDonald look-alike humanoid Muppet beings.
"But Kermit. We-"
'"Kermit! I am the Wayne Cornelius Butkus III. Why do you have to be so conceited? It's like that you've never heard of me; Wayne Cornelius Butkus III! I was topped on the Billboard, twice in Japan. I am the star!"
"Wayne!"
I slowly opened the door, and wore a small welcoming smile.
"Why, hello." I entered backstage. "I am looking for a frog, named Kermit T. Frog. I am currently looking for a job at the Muppet Theatre. Why, I am an unbelieveable actor, and crooner. I--"
Some fair-haired crooner stepped in, toward my face. I guess he was not that appreciative by my presense. He must be envious. I hoped.
"A star? Impossible. You're a pig! A pig! It all must be surreal. Kermit, you just can't--"
"I think he's kinda cute, Wayne. So, shuddup!" She shared a warm smile, and introduced herself. I felt much better. "Hello there, sir. I am Wanda--"
"Why, thank you, my lady." I slowly knelt down, and kissed the female singer's velety hand. She sighed, blushing her wealed cheeks; tickling her throat into a vague giggle.
Her crooner grunted.
"Why , I..." He paused, stifly, like I'm supposed to keep track of our small talk. "Come on, Wanda. Let's proceed, now! This joint is now going to stink with pig manure. Pigs! Bah!"
I watched the duo jolt out of the theatre. The chesnut-haired crooner pretty much annoyed me in total disgust. Though, I sympathize his fine young maiden. Now they're fired, I would have more of an opportunity to find employment. Which the frog is fair enough to offer, to a pig!
Kermit welcomed me with a smile. He shooked his webbed hands, clasping my porcine-like fingers. He introduced himself to me, and I introduced myself to him. To begin our conversation, I started to ramble about my employment history at the Sty High Theatre. Yes, I was in a few musical productions, of course. I was the leading player in most of the productions.
Kermit seemed to enjoy my company.
"Well, then, Mr. Hogthrob. It's good that you have the interest to work at the Muppet Theatre. Well, I'll scheldule you for a job interview in a few days. I do have this new televised sketch that would be perfect for a pig, like you."
I sighed.
"Is that supposed to be an offense, Kermit? You shouldn't make a pique. It would emotionally hurt the species. Otherwise, I would like to see the script. May I?"
His reply seemed rather dull.
"Yeah... whatever."
Kermit was just so kind enough to give me the privilege to audition. He handed the fair-conditioned; 8-paged script to me. I glanced through the script, and studied the dialogue.
Hope got me, there.
"Well, pretty simple, there. It was quite alright."
Kermit smirked a small smile. He was full of appreciation.
"Well, Mr. Hogthrob. I think I've found my captain, here. We'll see, though. You must audition first."
"Sounds good to me." I changed the subject. "Though, who's going to be moi's mate? Miss Piggy?"
"It may be possible. She is our biggest star. She-"
I cut off, letting out a scoff.
"Is that supposed to be a pun? She is our biggest star!"
"That's enough now, Link. Now, well, we do have other female pigs who have the urge to audition. I'll get my list, now."
I crossed my legs in a sophisticated manner. I was fiddling my thumbs, unpatiently as I watched the frog-like employer grip onto an average-sized clipboard; which included a list of the porcine cast members who desire to audition for that role.
"Well, then... we have Miss Piggy, Lydia the Tatooed Pig, Lonnie Swaunne, Loretta Swine, Martha Hoghorn, Annie Sue Pig, Bertha Sow, and Raquel Porkbelly. Does that help you, there?"
I nodded.
"Okay, I don't really need to know that." I quickly glanced at my watch. "Well, I got to go now, Kermit. I'll see you in a few day. Oh, and don't forget to schedule the appointment for my job interview. I must be fabulous, which I am."
Kermit pursed his lips, vaguely letting out a big sheesh!
I proceeded out of the theatre, and walked home. I just had to. It was football, and poker night with the boys. Well, time for some chips and beer!
~Chapter 1
It was a typical evening in the late 1970's. I, Link Hogthrob was looking for employment in the theatre industry. Soon, I had come across an ornate, yet ancient looking theatre, titled Muppet Theatre. The theatre was at least a century old. Though, for a man as handsome as me, I would bring in a little sunshine of my natural curse. Hey, I like sunny days.
"Wayne, Wanda... you're fired!"
A certain sage-colored amphibian outraged himself at some Nelson Eddy and Janet McDonald look-alike humanoid Muppet beings.
"But Kermit. We-"
'"Kermit! I am the Wayne Cornelius Butkus III. Why do you have to be so conceited? It's like that you've never heard of me; Wayne Cornelius Butkus III! I was topped on the Billboard, twice in Japan. I am the star!"
"Wayne!"
I slowly opened the door, and wore a small welcoming smile.
"Why, hello." I entered backstage. "I am looking for a frog, named Kermit T. Frog. I am currently looking for a job at the Muppet Theatre. Why, I am an unbelieveable actor, and crooner. I--"
Some fair-haired crooner stepped in, toward my face. I guess he was not that appreciative by my presense. He must be envious. I hoped.
"A star? Impossible. You're a pig! A pig! It all must be surreal. Kermit, you just can't--"
"I think he's kinda cute, Wayne. So, shuddup!" She shared a warm smile, and introduced herself. I felt much better. "Hello there, sir. I am Wanda--"
"Why, thank you, my lady." I slowly knelt down, and kissed the female singer's velety hand. She sighed, blushing her wealed cheeks; tickling her throat into a vague giggle.
Her crooner grunted.
"Why , I..." He paused, stifly, like I'm supposed to keep track of our small talk. "Come on, Wanda. Let's proceed, now! This joint is now going to stink with pig manure. Pigs! Bah!"
I watched the duo jolt out of the theatre. The chesnut-haired crooner pretty much annoyed me in total disgust. Though, I sympathize his fine young maiden. Now they're fired, I would have more of an opportunity to find employment. Which the frog is fair enough to offer, to a pig!
Kermit welcomed me with a smile. He shooked his webbed hands, clasping my porcine-like fingers. He introduced himself to me, and I introduced myself to him. To begin our conversation, I started to ramble about my employment history at the Sty High Theatre. Yes, I was in a few musical productions, of course. I was the leading player in most of the productions.
Kermit seemed to enjoy my company.
"Well, then, Mr. Hogthrob. It's good that you have the interest to work at the Muppet Theatre. Well, I'll scheldule you for a job interview in a few days. I do have this new televised sketch that would be perfect for a pig, like you."
I sighed.
"Is that supposed to be an offense, Kermit? You shouldn't make a pique. It would emotionally hurt the species. Otherwise, I would like to see the script. May I?"
His reply seemed rather dull.
"Yeah... whatever."
Kermit was just so kind enough to give me the privilege to audition. He handed the fair-conditioned; 8-paged script to me. I glanced through the script, and studied the dialogue.
Hope got me, there.
"Well, pretty simple, there. It was quite alright."
Kermit smirked a small smile. He was full of appreciation.
"Well, Mr. Hogthrob. I think I've found my captain, here. We'll see, though. You must audition first."
"Sounds good to me." I changed the subject. "Though, who's going to be moi's mate? Miss Piggy?"
"It may be possible. She is our biggest star. She-"
I cut off, letting out a scoff.
"Is that supposed to be a pun? She is our biggest star!"
"That's enough now, Link. Now, well, we do have other female pigs who have the urge to audition. I'll get my list, now."
I crossed my legs in a sophisticated manner. I was fiddling my thumbs, unpatiently as I watched the frog-like employer grip onto an average-sized clipboard; which included a list of the porcine cast members who desire to audition for that role.
"Well, then... we have Miss Piggy, Lydia the Tatooed Pig, Lonnie Swaunne, Loretta Swine, Martha Hoghorn, Annie Sue Pig, Bertha Sow, and Raquel Porkbelly. Does that help you, there?"
I nodded.
"Okay, I don't really need to know that." I quickly glanced at my watch. "Well, I got to go now, Kermit. I'll see you in a few day. Oh, and don't forget to schedule the appointment for my job interview. I must be fabulous, which I am."
Kermit pursed his lips, vaguely letting out a big sheesh!
I proceeded out of the theatre, and walked home. I just had to. It was football, and poker night with the boys. Well, time for some chips and beer!
