Dealing with depression and anxiety

[ShMuppetgal96]

It's been a while since I was here!

Anxiety has definitely not always been the greatest part of my life, but medication and other coping methods are a big help. The only time I think I was ever really depressed was after I recovered from COVID. I just had this gloom hanging over me for weeks after I came out of isolation.

 

[fuzzygobo]

Did you suffer from COVID, or the isolation from it?

 

[ShMuppetgal96]

Did you suffer from COVID, or the isolation from it?

I did have COVID- contracted it at work. It didn't get serious, but I was still shaken up by it.

 

[D'Snowth]

I haven't ever really posted in this thread before, mainly because I haven't really suffered from any kind of serious depression or such since before this thread was created (for several months in 2004, for over a year from 2006-2007, and a semi-depression in 2010), but I've been out of sorts for the past couple of days, because the other night, for the first time since about 2007 or so, I finally had a complete and total creative breakdown.

I know this sounds frivolous and trivial, but I've been working on the same project off and on for three years, and the entire production process has been such a headache - it's been needlessly difficult, and if I'm being honest, it hasn't really been turning out quite as I have envisioned. But not just that, it's also really eaten up more than just my time and effort, it's eaten up quite a bit of my money as well; over the past three years, I've spent over $200 on various different aspects, making it my most expensive production so far . . . and there's been a number of times where I've run out of money and would basically have to halt the project for a time, hence one of the reasons why I've been working on it off and on all this time.

But, if this reminds me of anything, it's that I honestly cannot work on the same project for too long, because burn out does set in . . . one of the reasons I do some of the things I do is because I enjoy the entire creative process of whatever my artistic endeavors are, but honestly, I have not had much fun or enjoyment with this one. At all.

I decided to just chuck the whole kit-and-cabootle the other night and call it quits . . . and now, if you can believe it, I'm regretting doing that, because now I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that my breakdown was too irrational and that I should get back on the horse and keep going since there's not too much left to finish.

I'm a very complicated individual.

 

[Any Del]

If anything I would just do the production when you have the money and or if you feel motivated to do it and stop when you feel like you've done enough. Trying to force yourself to do a project would make you become a slave to your own work and takes out the enjoyment of doing it.

Also I would like to add on that being with my toxic parents has ruined my creativity a bit as well because some days I don't feel like working on my animated series project due to the anixety and pstd from dealing with them.

So I say finish the project since there's not much left to do right? And then once you're finished you will feel accomplished and proud of yourself for not throwing in the towel before you came close to the finish line. You got the Snowth! You can do this!

 

[LittleJerry92]

I mean….. I’ll admit, I feel like living in this stressful apartment with basically being able to hear everything around me has ruined my creativity a bit….. I feel like it’s been tough being able to have creative thoughts come in my head just because of all the noise around me. It’s so hard just drawing something without having to hear stuff going on from my neighbors next door or hearing the trucks outside.

All this place has made me want to do is get stoned. I hate it.

 

[D'Snowth]

If anything I would just do the production when you have the money and or if you feel motivated to do it and stop when you feel like you've done enough.

Like I said, that's pretty much what the pattern has been like for three years. I've already missed my deadline; I'd give up on it altogether if it wasn't for the fact that I've been promising this all this time, and people are waiting to see it . . . that, and I'm tired of planning something, and then some sort of unforeseen circumstance puts the kibosh on the entire thing - that happens to me more often than not, it makes me feel like a hack sometimes. At least last year, COVID was actually a legit reason for not being able to work on a project I had been planning (just sucks that it had to be Steve D'Monster's Sweet 16 special).

But I will say this: if (and when) I do finally complete this thing, I probably won't be making another MORON LEAGUE entry for a looong time (even though it's actually been a looong time since I did the last one).

 

[Any Del]

All right, fair enough then.

 

[D'Snowth]

I will say this though, if I know a particular project or production of mine is going to be a lot more involved than ordinary, this is the exact reason why I try to work on it in as far in advance as possible to allow time for these kinds of potential complications to arise and be remedied . . . even then, in some cases, I'm still not able to completely finish it until like the very last minute - I was kind of hoping that would be the case this time, but unfortunately, it wasn't.

 

[fuzzygobo]

If the only deadline you have to meet is one set by yourself (as opposed to being under contract to a client, where a project has to be delivered at a certain date and under budget)
by all means put it on the back burner until you feel inspired again.

I got a project that’s been simmering for years, but I can still work at my own pace with nobody breathing down my neck. I’ve even scrapped a few things, but then years later an idea hits and part of it can be grafted somewhere else, and the results are usually better.

Sometimes conflict (especially when my alcoholic dad was still alive) spurs me on and I get creative breakthroughs. The well never completely goes dry.

Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.