I haven't ever really posted in this thread before, mainly because I haven't really suffered from any kind of serious depression or such since before this thread was created (for several months in 2004, for over a year from 2006-2007, and a semi-depression in 2010), but I've been out of sorts for the past couple of days, because the other night, for the first time since about 2007 or so, I finally had a complete and total creative breakdown.
I know this sounds frivolous and trivial, but I've been working on the same project off and on for three years, and the entire production process has been such a headache - it's been needlessly difficult, and if I'm being honest, it hasn't really been turning out quite as I have envisioned. But not just that, it's also really eaten up more than just my time and effort, it's eaten up quite a bit of my money as well; over the past three years, I've spent over $200 on various different aspects, making it my most expensive production so far . . . and there's been a number of times where I've run out of money and would basically have to halt the project for a time, hence one of the reasons why I've been working on it off and on all this time.
But, if this reminds me of anything, it's that I honestly cannot work on the same project for too long, because burn out does set in . . . one of the reasons I do some of the things I do is because I enjoy the entire creative process of whatever my artistic endeavors are, but honestly, I have not had much fun or enjoyment with this one. At all.
I decided to just chuck the whole kit-and-cabootle the other night and call it quits . . . and now, if you can believe it, I'm regretting doing that, because now I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that my breakdown was too irrational and that I should get back on the horse and keep going since there's not too much left to finish.
I'm a very complicated individual.