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*scoops Drue up in hands* *puts hands behind back* PeaPea, Drue and I need to have a quick chat about...your birthday present! I saw this gorgeous mop in the Argos catalogue you'd simply adore. Do excuse us *sprints upstairs to bathroom before PeaPea sees Drue*

Oh dear PeaPea please don't give me that look. Listen, I'm A Celebrity's on in a minute, we could just sit and watch that. I know how you like that Myleene Klass. Now, make room for a slim one! *sits down* Oh dear, PeaPea, is that a wet spot on the sofa, did you spill something? *stands up* Oh...

Oh dear...erm.......PeaPea you just sit right there. I think there was something in Heat about washing pie out of your hair. Or Closer. Or Sneak. Or Cosmo Girl. Or was it FHM? Wait there, I'll go and get every magazine I own and then I'll just get some of this Head And Shoulder's "For Green...

PeaPea there's nothing wrong with a bit of normality every now and then. For example, before I would have gladly thrown this banana cream pie at your face. But instead I am going to set it down on the table here..*leans over and trips over Sneak magazine left on floor, throwing pie at PeaPea* Oh...

*enters* PeaPea will you stop that infernal singing! I'm trying to read my NME! Hey have you read this, apparently "everything apart from what we tell you is *turns page* terrible!" Wow, how did I go my whole life without reading a magazine! *puts Kasabian on*

Well Mr. Beauregard. I hope that your birthday was fab. Unfortunately, I wasn't there for most of it. But, as your MSN buddy and husband, I feel it is vital that I wish you a happy birthday. And you must come on MSN so I can send you your amazing (not really) card which I made myself. Love...

*comes in* I'm sorry Vibs we're all out of potatoes *sits down* So, babies, what can I do you for? You don't want to borrow my Hello magazine do you? Cos I'm not quite finished with it. I don't suppose you babies have heard about the new reality TV show airing on....oh you're babies...

Of course...*goes into kitchen*

*comes back in with tray* DanDan: What am I thinking? You're babies!!! Would you like some milk instead? *goes back into kitchen* Fem: Woof! Woof woof!

Ahhhh ok, sorry I didn't see your age there, m'dear

DanDan: *stares* You know what we need? Some tea *goes to kitchen*

DanDan: *adjusts glasses* Did 2 fairy babies just appear from nowhere? That's very unusual...Oh well. Tea?

Aren't there only 2 surviving Beatles now?

*at DanDan's shoe...which has been turned into a bungalow* DanDan: *in armchair reading OK magazine* Wow....Nicole Ritchie lost 2 pounds today. She now weighs the same as a small kitchen...*turns page*...utensil. Fascinating. Oh! I'd better fill Fem's doggie bowl *Fem runs downstairs with...

I heart Clip, he's way cute

When I was your age, Walt Disney was still frozen!

Play With Me Sesame! And that's now! :o