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Sorry? What for, she's not dead *shouts* DANDAN!! WAKE UP!! *blinks* See, she's asleep. DANDAN!! *blinks* She's just sleeping, honestly. Over-reacters or what? *blinks* DANDAN!! WAKE UP, DANDAN!! *blinks* WAKE UP!! *blinks* *blinks again* WAKE UP, DANDAN!!

*blinks* *blinks again* *blinks* Dead? *blinks* Don't be silly. Of course she's not dead. She's probably fallen asleep again. She snores when she's awake, but by golly she's a peaceful sleeper. *blinks* Of course she's not dead. *blinks* Don't be... *blinks* Don't be silly

Oh not now...DanDan's gone to Hawai and I have to stop her before she's put in that prison again!! Why did I get forsaken with this incessant blue thing??? ARGH!!

Fem: What?? Where did she go? She didn't go to Hawai again did she? I told her...she's been banned...*sigh* I could kill her!!

Fem: Do you need a hand...err, a foot with that tea? I always make DanDan's, she has it the same every time. Milk, 2 sugars, 3 lice. At the same time every day. Come to think of it, she needs it about now. She could die if she doesn't. Well...not literally. Thank the lord, I don't know what I...

Fem: What? What's the matter? Has she been chewing on electric cables again. I'll kill her!! Well...not really. I couldn't kill DanDan. Despite everything I do love her...she's my best friend. Anyway, where's this tea?

Fem: I'm fine on "left foot red" it's just when "red foot blue" follows that I struggle. Now where is DanDan, I need to get her home and sit her in front of TV and tuck her into bed.

*Fem Taeer enters* Fem: Do any of you know where DanDan is? It's almost time for Teletubbies, she never misses it...

*in croaky voice* It was the one they called...Donald...*dies*

DanDan: What's the difference? *turns off light* *turns on light and lies down* DanDan: It's been a good run.... *bows head*

DanDan: *smirks* That's what I thought until a certain Thursday on a certain holiday on a certain Costa Del Starbucks. Let's just say... Fem Taeer: *sprints in* Don't listen!! Just don't!! I've heard this story too many... *faints*

*DanDan looks up* Twister??? I remember once, on holiday in Costa Del Starbucks...we were on a nudist beach and someone suggested....never mind....

*takes Battleship from inside pocket* *opens lid* DanDan: Oh dear, it's full of shredded newspaper. *Snubs jumps out of window* SNUBS!!! *dives* Fem: *enters* DanDan, you.... *eyes bulge* I'll just....*leaves*

*opens coat to reveal several board games* Take your pick...

*bashes stereo with fist* That should quieten the place down a bit. Now...who wants a good ol' game of hamster golf?

*comes out of wardrobe* DanDan: Wow, it's stuffy in there. *jumps out of window after raccoon* *comes back upstairs with raccoon in arms* I can't believe you released Snubs into the wild *Sobs*

*from inside closet* DanDan: MY RACCOON!! SNUBS!! SNUBS COME BACK TO ME!! SNUBS *sobs loudly* I'll get you for this, Marin *sobs even more loudly*

*DanDan takes knife out of pocket* DanDan: I'll teach you to... oops *puts knife in pocket and produces a racoon* I'll teach you to insult this 104 year-ol.... *falls asleep*

*the two fall ontop of grandma* DanDan: I cooked your turkey. And he's mine!! *Fem enters holding bus pass* Fem Taeer: DanDan, you forgot your b.... DanDan: I'LL TEACH YOU TO STEAL THIS HERMAPHRODITE'S HUSBAND!! Fem: *backs away* I'll come back later...

*stands over Grandma* I didn't fight 3 wars, swallow 12 umbrellas and marry 910 mice to have my husband stolen from someone 20 years younger than me!!