I am totally sorry for the wait on this, but it's here. This is the LAST section for this overly chapter featuring our boys' exploits. After this, we'll see what the bride and her bridesmaids got up to.
Two days before I do
Tuesday morning began with slight hangovers, though nothing that hadn’t been experienced before, thankfully. Nothing a good breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, and other things couldn’t cure. The group decided to enjoy the complimentary home breakfast fare that was being offered in both the main house and on the patio area; the weather was beautiful that day, the sun shining overhead and fluffy clouds hanging in the sky.
“For what ails you,” said a voice replied near Scooter’s shoulder, revealing Kermit handing the redhead a second mug that he held in his hand.
“This is why you’re my favorite person,” the page sighed, gratefully.
“That’s a lie and you know it.”
The two stood and just listened to the sounds around them, while also listening to Fozzie cry in happiness about seeing cookies on the counter. Throwing an arm around the younger Muppet’s shoulder, Kermit asked, “Having fun, Scooter?”
“This is the best trip ever, Kermit,” Scooter whispered. “I can’t begin to thank you for all of this.”
“Hey buddy,” the frog said, patting him on the shoulder. “It was no trouble at all, just want you to have a good time. It’s your bachelor party.”
“Any other person would’ve gone the traditional route and you know it.”
Chuckling, the frog asked, “When have we ever been traditional?” Sobering, Kermit looked at the younger Muppet. “As your best man, I wanted you to have a good time,” he continued. “Doing things you like to do. Who knows? Maybe you’ll take your kids on the same trip one day.”
“I do plan to bring Amanda back here,” Scooter nodded. “Sans children.”
“For creation of children then.”
Scooter’s mouth literally dropped. While he knew, knew, Kermit could have a wicked sense of humor – you couldn’t not with this group – his very suggestion had completely shocked him with what was just said. Probably because Kermit didn’t just throw out innuendos like beads at Mardi Gras, but delivered them with deadly accuracy when least expected.
That of course didn’t mean that Scooter couldn’t play the same game.
“You’re one to talk,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “No good is going to come with me finding little out of the way cottages near that vineyard you liked so much.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You seem to forget, Boss,” Scooter whispered, seeing the other members of their finally heading out on to the patio with their plates. “I was with you when you bought that ring. Ever think maybe I’ll a little too young to be called, ‘uncle’?”
Thinking he had gotten the last word on that conversation, Scooter took a bigger sip from his mug, only to watch the delicious liquid go flying from his mouth in a classic spit take when he heard Kermit’s comeback of, “It’s not for lack of trying, I can promise you that.”
“Scooter, you alright?” Gonzo asked, watching the redhead cough up his warm coffee.
“I’ll…I’m going to get you for that, Frog,” the page sputtered, following Kermit as they joined the others at a table.
“What’s he talking about?” asked Fozzie.
“I have no idea,” Kermit shrugged.
[hr]
Breakfast was leisurely, the combination of good food, good weather, and good friends helping to make the morning enjoyable. Afterwards, the group went to pack up in order to head for their last destination, that seemed to be a secret to even the others.
“You guys don’t know where we’re going?” Scooter asked, cornering the others as Kermit went to go check them out of the cottage.
“This is news to me,” Gonzo said, shrugging his shoulders. “I thought the wineries were our last stop and we were headed home.”
“This isn’t like Kermit to keep stuff from us,” Fozzie muttered, ignoring the looks Gonzo and Floyd threw at each other. Actually, this was exactly something that Kermit would most likely keep from them, especially if there was a chance the bear knew about it beforehand. Fozzie had a lousy track record of keeping things a secret, worse still was that he could be easily bribed by sweets.
“You know, we don’t give enough credit to Boss Frog to being sneaky,” Floyd mentioned, grabbing his bag and heading out.
“So let’s say Kermit does have another stop planned,” Scooter continued, following the bassist out, along with the others. “Where exactly are we going?”
“As much as we think we know that frog,” Gonzo groused. “There’s a hidden layer and depth to him we will surely never know.”
“That doesn’t exactly inspire my confidence, Gonzo.”
“It wasn’t supposed to, Red.”
With the group checked out and bags loaded, Kermit gave up the passenger seat for the groom, giving Fozzie directions to take the 101 and then the 405. The others were still highly confused as this was the exact way to get back to Beverly Hills, which is where they started their trip. Figuring the frog had just been toying with them and the real ‘destination’ was actually when they returned, the friendly atmosphere returned, with joking and games as the bear drove.
At least until they came upon the turn off to head back into the city proper and Kermit told Fozzie to keep driving; not only to keep driving, but to head on to the I-5 further down the freeway. “Alright Frog,” Gonzo demanded. “Where’s the bear taking us?”
“If I told you, Gonzo,” said frog replied, calmly. “It would ruin the surprise.”
“Kermit,” Fozzie asked, frightened. “Are you abducting us?”
“How am I abducting you when you’re the one driving?”
“Are you making me abduct us!?”
“Fozzie, stop it,” Scooter hissed, trying to calm the bear down.
“Yeah man,” Floyd added. “I’m not trying to reach those musicians in the sky any time soon. Besides, you gotta think about this. The I-5 heads down south towards Long Beach, San Diego, and Tijuana.”
“We’re going to San Diego?” Scooter asked.
“We’re going to Tijuana?” asked Gonzo, a smile on his face.
“No,” Kermit said, addressing the page before turning to Gonzo. “And I thought you weren’t allowed back there.”
“What?” Gonzo giggled, nervously. “Who…who told you that? That’s silly. I can totally go to Tijuana. I just…I just can’t go to Tecate. They won’t let me back there.”
“Why can’t you go back to Tecate?” asked Fozzie.
Gonzo’s eye slightly glazed over as memories returned to him – the bars, a bicycle, a cute little goat named Lucinda, a fight, and a river of Tecate beer flowing down the road…
“It’s best not to ask,” he said, nodding to himself. “Also, stay away from Tecate beer. It’s just…it’s just not worth it.”
His backseat companions just looked at him. “There are so many things I don’t know about you,” Kermit murmured, shaking. “Much of the time, I feel it’s better to keep it that way.”
“I’m a question wrapped inside mystery blanketed by an enigma,” the weirdo replied. “I’m like an intrigue taco. Hey! We should have tacos for lunch.”
“I love tacos!” exclaimed the driver.
“Words fail me,” grumbled the frog.
The trip continued, though non-frog passengers were still confused as to where they were headed, especially after they passed Long Beach, Costa Mesa, and San Clemente. Perhaps they were headed to San Diego, however Kermit kept his lips sealed until he told the bear to take a left on Cannon Road before turning right after passing the Gemological Institute. This put the group onto Legoland Drive, however it didn’t seem to register to the front seat passengers until they saw the huge water slides come in to the vision.
“Kermit?”
“Turn in to the parking lot, Fozzie,” the frog said, smirking when the bear gave a small squeal as he did. Luck was definitely on their side, as the parking lot wasn’t nearly as full as it would have been on a weekend, which allowed the Studebaker to park near the front entrance. The group got out of the car, both Fozzie and Scooter in stunned excitement as they looked at the very large sign that hovered on an arc above the entrance.
“Welcome to LEGOland,” Kermit said, smiling at seeing the childlike glee on the groom’s face. “Alright, children, gather round.” Handing each of them an envelope, he continued with, “Here are your tickets and spending money. Compliments of her royal highness.”
“You are the bestest best man ever.”
“Kermit,” Fozzie asked, clearly just holding back on rushing the entrance with his young redheaded friend. “Kermit, can…can we go? Can we go in?”
“Please, Kermit, can we?” echoed Scooter.
Sighing good-naturedly, Kermit said, “As long as the two of you are LEGO buddies. Don’t get lost! We all have our phones, so call after an hour or so and we’ll meet up for lunch, okay?” Both nodded, eagerly. “Alright, go on. Git.”
Both bear and page went running head long through the parking lot towards the entrance, not at all heeding Kermit’s warning to “Stay out of trouble!”
“You realize that you just let those two go running into the park, by themselves?” Gonzo asked, a knowing look on his face.
“Yeah,” the frog sighed. “That’s probably gonna come back and bite me.”
[hr]
While luck would have it, letting Fozzie Bear and Scooter Grosse roam LEGOland by themselves wasn’t the utter destruction he thought it would be. Of course it meant that the two had branched off into different areas of the park and he only saw them during lunch and when he had Floyd try to find them before the park closed at 6pm. The leftover trio spent their time enjoying the Coast Cruise, which was a boat ride that explored the different parts of Miniland before heading to the LEGO version of Las Vegas.
Kermit wouldn’t learn what his two little rogues had done until they managed to get them to leave the park and back into the car in order to head to their hotel. It was clear that the duo hadn’t listened at all to his ‘stay together and with your LEGO buddy’ speech before heading in different directions. Scooter had immediately headed to the Build and Test area, after stopping in to MindStorm in order to sign up for a tour so he could – hopefully – build a robot the next day.
Fozzie had discovered Fairy Tale Brook, letting it be known that the bear was a sucker for classic fairy tales and that endeared him to the kids he made friends with on the ride, because that was the only thing that would make him head over to the Heartlake City Boutique. A group of 3 to 5-year-old little girls had begged the bear to accompany them and there wasn’t a Muppet alive who could say no to a 3-year-old.
It was a short trip, despite them covering the front part of the park in separate teams, however it was just the beginning, as Kermit told the group they would have most of the day tomorrow before they would need to head back home. Scooter was getting married on Thursday afternoon and he was not about to experience Piggy or Amanda’s wrath should they not be there in time.
Over excited, both Fozzie and Scooter were out for the count as soon as they hit their bed, heads full of adventure and stomachs full of food from dinner. “The kids are out,” murmured Gonzo, as he sat down next to Floyd in the spa at their hotel. They were only five minutes away from the park and there was a shuttle that came every hour that would take them back and then turn around to deliver them to the hotel.
The bassist chuckled and nodded. “The rest should knock out the sugar, so they’ll be ready for tomorrow,” he quipped.
“You and the princess have probably spent a truck load of money on this,” Gonzo mentioned, nodding to the frog who was lazily lounging in the spa.
Kermit smirked, before splashing water at both and getting indignant sputters. “It’s not like we don’t have the money,” he said. “Besides, you took care of everything else.”
“Not everything,” Gonzo said, blushing a bit. He did take the price for the flowers off Piggy’s hands, as well as the suits – though the two argued over that for weeks – it wasn’t anything that Kermit hadn’t done for this trip. Paragliding wasn’t all that expensive really and the stunt weirdo didn’t mind spending the money or more. This was Scooter’s wedding after all.
“You only get married once.”
“If you’re lucky,” Floyd cackled.
“Scooter’s lucky,” Kermit admitted.
“We’re all lucky,” Gonzo said, nodding to them each other. “The three of us are lucky enough to have found our other halves or at least, the person who doesn’t mind putting up with us for the rest of their lives.”
“Spoken like a true husband,” the frog joked.
“Joke all you like, Frog,” the plumber quipped. “You’re gonna be in the same place I am in a few months. Actually, you’ve been a happy husband for way longer than I have. You’re just making it official.”
“Sometimes official is good,” Kermit shrugged. “So far so good on every front. I don’t want anything happening to ruin Scooter’s big day. He deserves this.”
“And he’ll get it,” the bassist said, a look of fierce loyalty on his face. Floyd may joke and tease, but he was a loyal friend and one of the handful of people who loved Scooter like family. He had been an only child too and it was music that pulled him away from being lonely; he sometimes understood Scooter better than some of the others and he had gravitated to the teen as a mentor and older brother figure.
Oh he knew Kermit and Piggy were the kid’s parentals – the fellow redhead could never see himself thinking of Piggy as his mother, but he could admit she totally had mother instincts that were being wasted on babysitting their lot – and he was happy in the role of older, cooler brother.
“Don’t you worry, Boss Frog,” he continued. “We got everything set up after that church fail. You won’t even recognize the place.”
“I hope so,” said frog sighed. “Maybe we should take off a little early tomorrow. That way we get the groom back in time and we can make sure everything is set for Thursday. And he doesn’t suspect a thing, right? I mean, this is Scooter and when he wants to know something…”
“Frog, you worry too much,” Gonzo said. “We got everything under control. Everything’s gonna work out, watch.”
[hr]
One day until I do
Wednesday morning loomed brightly, which of course started off with a trip to LEGOland. The park didn’t open until 10am, so breakfast was just a quick trip to the complimentary breakfast bar in their hotel. Scooter wasn’t sure what the plan was today, especially when his wedding was set for tomorrow, but his best man had given him four days of awesome and whatever he had in store for today would surely be worth it.
He certainly hadn’t thought Kermit would get him passes to the railroad museum, with an actual ride on an actual train and he certainly didn’t think he’d ever get around to going to Yellowstone and he totally didn’t see Kermit taking them all to LEGOland…okay, that one was Piggy, but still. To be honest, Scooter hadn’t been sure what he expected when he had gotten that call Saturday morning. Oh, he knew if Kermit was in charge, nothing scandalous was going to happen, but they were males and they had taken five days off to celebrate his getting married.
Anything could have literally happened.
Even Gonzo – who Scooter had been convinced was going to talk them into something – had been tame…well, if you call paragliding tame.
But he had fun, he truly did, but he couldn’t help but want to head back and get ready for his wedding. That thought literally stopped him in his tracks – they had gotten a good two and half hours into the park before their stomachs started grumbling for food. They started walking back towards the center of the park, where a good majority of the food stands where when it hit him that he was getting married.
“Scooter?”
“Grofer, you cool?”
“Hey buddy.”
It was Kermit’s hand on his arm that brought him out of it, realizing that he had stopped in the middle of walking and the others had returned to where he stood.
“I’m getting married tomorrow,” the redhead whispered, as though the thought had finally entered his stream of conscious.
The frog smiled at him. “Yeah, we know,” he said, in the same low tone Scooter had used. “And we’re gonna get you back so you can relax before the big day. But we need to get lunch first.”
Pulling his arm slightly, Kermit was able to get the younger Muppet to move along, the others filing in behind them. “But Kermit,” Scooter replied, shaking his head to get the cobwebs to leave. “I don’t have a church. I’m getting married tomorrow and I don’t have a church. Or a minister! Oh my God, this is going to be a disaster!”
“Scooter…”
“I can’t believe it didn’t think of this!” the page continued, now working his way into a full blown panic attack.
“Scooter…”
“I shouldn’t be here,” he said, looking around for the exit. “I shouldn’t have even taken this trip! Not that I haven’t enjoyed it, Kermit, cause I have, but…I got so much to do! I’m not sure I even paid the caterers or the flowers…”
And then Scooter did something he rarely did and would never, ever do in public, especially in a park full of children.
He swore.
Loudly.
“Scooter!” the others shouted, surprised and alarmed at how their normally cool and usually unruffled stage manager had somehow veered into total and complete epic panic meltdown.
“C’mere,” Kermit growled, dragging the boy towards the nearest food stand, all the while looking around to see if anyone just happened to notice. Being celebrities, especially being the Muppets, meant that everywhere they went, everyone pretty much knew who they were. Maybe it was the day or maybe it was just the time of year, but they actually hadn’t been bothered too much on this trip.
Even here, where they were surrounded by kids, only a few had stopped them to get autographs or photos – though in Kermit’s case, it was hugs, always hugs and not always from the kids either. Luckily, no one seemed to pay any mind to them this time, which allowed for the group to get to a table.
“Listen to me,” the frog whispered, staring straight at his assistant, who looked ready to start another tirade. “Andrew, look at me. Look at me and listen. It’s all taken care of.”
“It is?”
“Yeah,” the frog nodded, smiling softly. “Remember? As soon as you said the church got flooded, we take care of it.”
“Okay,” Scooter said, his voice sounding strangely as it did when he was a child. It was deeper now that he was an adult, but this was the voice of a child who looked to the adult in his life to straighten things out and lead him through the nightmares and boogeymen that lived in the world. “But I don’t…I don’t know where it is. And Mandy doesn’t know where it is.”
“We’ll get you there,” Kermit promised. “And Piggy, Jani, and Cam will make sure Amanda’s there too. Don’t worry, buddy. We got this.”
With that logic, Scooter finally took a deep breath and exhaled. There wasn’t anything to worry about. Kermit had it and if Kermit told him the moon was made of cheese and the sky was really a dark purple, Scooter would believe him. He trusted him.
“Okay,” he said, nodding. “I trust you. Always have, always will. I’m okay. I’m okay now, guys.”
Giving his cheek a little pat, Kermit replied, “That’s my boy. C’mon, you’ll function better with food in your tummy.”
[hr]
During lunch, Scooter’s episode nearly vanished, especially once Kermit told him they were leaving right afterwards to head home. That seemed to lighten the mood somewhat or at least calmed Scooter down from where he had been. He had apologized several times for his outburst, truly not understanding why he had been so panicked; he had been fine up until learning that the church had flooded, but once he had been told it had been taken care of, he wasn’t as angsty about it.
Why he would forget that little detail, he didn’t know, and he knew the others just wanted him to shut up about it because as far as they were concerned, the problem had been solved.
The drive back didn’t take nearly as long as their other drives, a mere two or three hours depending on traffic, but it seemed to be even more exciting than leaving had been. It had been nice, more than nice, hanging out with the guys and Scooter realized that this was something they hadn’t actively done since getting back together. In times past, regardless of what was going on, the group had always seemed to make time for each other, until at some point that traditional started eroding. Maybe not erode, but definitely splintered, as they started going their own ways, maybe seeing the oh-so-obvious writing on wall.
But since getting back together, they were trying and this just proved it. The bonds they had before certainly hadn’t died out and Scooter remembered why he had always looked forward to coming to the theater after school and during the summer. It was a short trip and there were a lot of things crammed into those five days, but they were fun and he got to hang out with some of his favorite people.
They really should do this again.
“Of course we will,” said Gonzo.
So lost in his thoughts, the page hadn’t realized he had said anything at all until Gonzo answered him. “We’ll totally make a point of it, Scooter,” Fozzie said, meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror.
Scooter smiled. Oh, he would make a definite point of it. “Yeah, we will, Fozzie.”
Nothing surprising happened on the way back, though Scooter noted that mysterious phone calls from Piggy to everyone but him was a bit strange. Actually, that should have worried him, if he hadn’t been wondering what Amanda was doing right now. She had mentioned they were also returning from San Francisco that day and that Piggy had very much insisted that she stay the night at the house. Just when he was about to chat her back – they had been involved in an intense game of Words with Friends – and ask why, Gonzo piped up, “Okay Red, we’re hit your place first, get your finery for your big day tomorrow and then head over to my place.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“Boss Hog kicked out the frog,” Floyd chuckled.
“Technically,” Kermit said, turning in his seat to face those in the back. “I volunteered to let the bride and her bridal party stay the night. Gonzo just happens to be…closer to the place you’re getting married at.”
Wait, what? “So we’re…what exactly?” Scooter asked.
“We’re having a sleepover!” Fozzie exclaimed.
“Good gods, man,” Gonzo admonished. “That makes it sound like we’re ten year girls. It’s a man party, say it like that.”
“So, what’ll we do?”
“You know,” Kermit shrugged. “What we’ve been doing. We’ll hang out at Gonzo’s, watch a little tv or a movie…”
“And eat popcorn and candy,” Fozzie supplied.
“Maybe have a beer or two,” added Gonzo.
“Then we’ll braid each other’s hair and talk about which boy we like, from which band,” Floyd finished, wagging his eyebrows.
Scooter stared at him for a second before asking, “Did you hear that Zayne left One Direction?”
“Who?”
“How do you not know who One Direction is?” Gonzo questioned, looking directly at the bassist.
“Cause I’m a real musician,” Floyd stated, as though he had just informed Gonzo that, yes, the earth was round.
“Hold that thought,” Scooter said, before turning to look at Gonzo. “And you know One Direction because…?”
“What?” the weirdo asked, giggling nervously. “How do you…? It’s in the news. It was in the news! You know I watch the news! On…on…on a daily basis.”
“Not one of your better saves, Gonzo,” Kermit chuckled.
And that was how the big boy band debated started and wouldn’t really be concluded for another two years.
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