• Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
    You are viewing our forum as a guest. Join our free community to post topics and start private conversations. Please contact us if you need help.
  • "Muppets Now" premieres on Disney+
    The Muppets fifth series of all time debuted on Disney+. Make plans to watch one of the most anticipated shows of the year. New episodes premiere every Friday through September 4.
  • 50 Years and Counting
    Read our review and discuss with fans the highly anticipated Sesame Street "50 Years and Counting" DVD set from Shout Factory featuring over five hours of beloved moments.
  • 50 Years and Still Sunny!
    Read fan reactions and let us know your thoughts on the all-new Sesame Street documentary "50 Years and Still Sunny!" hosted by Gloria Estefan.
  • The Dark Crystal: "Age of Resistance"
    After a 36 year wait, return to the great conjunction. The Dark Crystal "Age of Resistance" is a mesmerizing and beautiful prequel series now on Netflix. Renew your essence today.
  • Music is Everywhere
    Muppet Central Radio is now on TorontoCast, TuneIn, Apple, Amazon and Google. Listen to Muppet music 24/7 wherever you go with TuneIn and Apple apps and devices.

Two Ball Waltz


Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2012
Reaction score
OMG! It's been forever! Do you realize this story was started a year ago?? :eek:


So it took forever and a day, but the muse finally came up with something today and here's part one of my story updates (yes, you can look forward to a Deadly Delay one later I hope). Here's your obligatory "OMG GINA!" summary -

Scooter Grosse has come to the decision that Amanda Cosgrove is the girl for him. After getting ring help from Piggy and advice from Kermit, our boy wonder finally popped the question during the annual Thanksgiving dinner. But that wasn't the hardest thing he needed to do - injured wedding party and a flooded church threw the couple for a loop, but you know the Muppets always protect their own.

As best man, Kermit and the boys took Scooter on a train ride, sailing through the air, down the urban trail, and to a place called LEGOLand for his bachelor party. Not to be outdone, Scottie Coulter - as gay of honor - is planning to make the bachelorette party legen... wait for it...



Here's your long awaited update!

Chapter X

On Tuesday morning, while the boys were sleeping off hangovers to prepare for their drive to LEGOland, back in Beverly Hills, Miss Piggy was trying to get an overly excited teenager off to school. Robin, Kermit’s nephew, had been living with them for what seemed like a short time, but his presence had certainly lightened the atmosphere in the house.

It wasn’t to say that Kermit and Piggy weren’t getting along these days, in fact it was better to say they were getting along more now than they ever had before. Having Robin the house actually did prompt a whole ‘playing house’ scenario that none of the trio wanted to really acknowledge, however it did seem as though they easily fell into the part of the growing and traditional family.

Piggy was actually surprised at that; despite knowing Robin since he was a child, the diva would be lying if she said she entered into this agreement without a lot of doubts. Oh, she didn’t doubt that Kermit and Robin were peas in the same pod or that Jimmy – Robin’s father – didn’t think the two of them could watch over his son. No, the doubts were solely on her abilities to be the feminine figure in the young frog’s life. It didn’t matter if she had agreed to this wholeheartedly in the face of Kermit’s doubts, it was the fact that she had never really been a mother before and didn’t really have any mother type figures she herself could look to. And no matter how she tried to ignore it, that disastrous babysitting job with Bobby Benson’s babies always entered her mind as a stunning failure.

The fact that Kermit entrusted her to not only watch a teenager, but a close member of his family to boot, had to mean something.

Contrary to popular belief, Robin loved spending time with Piggy, especially now when he was at the age of noticing girls and wanting to be noticed by girls and if he needed a woman’s advice, Piggy was who he went to. But it wasn’t just that; his uncle’s girlfriend was the best to hang out with. When he was younger, she certainly did intimidate him, but after a while he just realized that was her show persona; the real Piggy was sweet and caring, but firm should he get out of line. It was only in his teens that he started calling her his aunt, despite the fact that she had insisted on it when they first met, because it was the first time he actually felt like she was, even if she and his uncle never officially married.

This short week had proved just how much Kermit, Jimmy, and Robin trusted Piggy to make the right decisions for someone other than herself.

That Saturday, after Kermit’s departure, Robin had decided it was time for him to be up. As a sophomore in high school, Robin was fairly active in different fine arts classes, but especially theater, and they had just finished up an original play the night before. That of course lead to a cast party that didn’t end until 11pm, when Robin was set to be home. Knowing he’d be wrecked the next morning, the power couple had let the boy sleep through the morning. It didn’t take long – like his uncle, Robin was also a somewhat early riser – and he ended up getting out of bed a little before 9am, when the smells of breakfast entered his nostrils and his brain.

Stumbling out of his bedroom, he went into the kitchen, mumbling a greeting to his aunt as he headed towards the coffee maker.

“Just one,” he heard, reaching for a clean mug on the counter.

“You know I’m almost sixteen,” he grunted. “I think I can handle more than one cup of coffee.”

“You can have two,” was the response. “To wash down all the food I made you.”

“I’m a growing boy,” he retorted, turning from his coffee to deliver a kiss to her cheek. “Uncle Kermit and the guys leave?”

“Yeppers,” replied Piggy, scooping some eggs and hash browns on a plate, which was accompanied by a small stack of pancakes. “They left about an hour or so ago, a stunned bachelor trailing behind them.”

Robin chuckled. Living in the house, he was privy to the going ons that were taking place behind the scenes with Scooter’s wedding. He had been a part of the emergency crew that set up the church for Scooter’s nuptials and his aunt was letting him go see the wedding present she and his uncle had gotten him.

He even had a surprise of his own that he hadn’t told any of the adults yet.

There had been a year, back when he had been barred from coming back to Hollywood, that the young tadpole was convinced Scooter had taken his place in his uncle’s heart. Just hearing about how Scooter had done this or was doing this would send a dagger to his heart; had his uncle forgotten about him? Dropped him for the red haired manager? As much as he knew that thought was ridiculous – everyone in the Muppets loved him, including Scooter – his traitorous teenaged mind wouldn’t stop the thoughts that entered.

It was only after his mother’s death and he found himself not only back in Hollywood, but on a semi-permanent basis, that Robin realized how his aunt and uncle relied on the manager and that by default, Scooter would do anything Robin asked of him. They had been close once, as close as a five-year-old could be to a teenager, but they were certainly friends.

Now that he was a teen himself, Robin liked the times he spent with Scooter. They did have a lot in common – both were displaced due to their guardians, but at least Robin could head back to Leland and was surrounded by family. Scooter didn’t have that, not unless he hung out with the group in general. Robin knew Scooter didn’t exactly have a loving relationship with his own uncle, though he had never gotten the complete picture, even after JP Grosse’s death. What he did know was that JP had left everything to Scooter, who was still young at the time, and it had scared him so. So much that he had begged Kermit to oversee everything that pertained to the Muppets.

Scooter was essentially an orphan after that and that was when Robin stopped being jealous. Besides, if Robin had to choose an older brother, the manager would be his first choice.

“Scooter’s gonna be so surprised,” he said, smiling when Piggy plopped a plate full of food in front of him. Despite being a bit on the scrawny side, Robin was the typical teenaged boy and could eat his weight and then some in food.

“Only if no one tells him about things,” Piggy said, giving him a look.

Placing his hands up in placation, he said, “He won’t hear anything from me. My lips are sealed you know.”

“They had better be,” she replied. “You and Rowlf are going to be checking on things for me while Moi is gone.”

“I remember, Aunt Piggy.”

The two sat in compatible silence, each enjoying their breakfast. Piggy marveled at the teen, not so much at how the years had passed, but sometimes how much of Kermit she could recognize in him. She saw some of the same traits in Jimmy as well, some of which she had seen from meeting their mother. But there were times Robin would do something so very Kermit, it could sometimes unnerve her.

“Any plans today, Robbie?”

“My only plans are spending time with my gorgeous aunt,” came not only the reply, but with a smile as well.

“Hmmm,” the diva smirked. “Moi thinks there is an alternative motive, but the sentiment is lovely. Moi never turns down flattery.”

“It is the way into a woman’s heart.”

“And where did we hear this?”

“From someone who doesn’t have as nearly the amount of expertise as you.”

Somehow their conversation had changed and Piggy had a pretty good idea what the new subject was. “Moi is going to guess that our current subject is about a girl.”

“What?” Robin giggled, nervously. “No, no, I just…” Taking a deep breath, he rushed with, “I was just wondering if Scooter would mind if I brought a da…um, a friend to the wedding. If that was okay. Do you think he would mind?”

“A plus one, huh?” she asked. “I’m sure if you asked, it would be fine. Who exactly are you planning on bringing?”

Robin knew it was a long shot to get this past his aunt of all people, but he had to ask and he knew it was better asking Piggy than perhaps Scooter first. “You remember RJ? Becky Jo?” he asked. “She was one of my friends who were here for Thanksgiving?”

“The cute little turtle you spent most of your time with?” the diva asked, knowingly.

“I didn’t spend ‘most of my time’ with her,” Robin shot back, indignantly. “I did have four other friends there and…and…you spend all your time with Uncle Kermit, so…there.” There was a pause in the tirade before Robin’s brain caught up to his mouth. “I’m digging myself deeper into a hole, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” Piggy nodded. “But don’t worry, Moi is certainly enjoying it.”

“I’m sure you are,” the teen deadpanned. “The point I’m trying to make is…do you think Scooter would mind terribly if I brought a guest to the wedding.”

“Of course he wouldn’t mind,” the diva replied. “Moi is sure he’d more than happy about you bringing a date.”

“It’s…it’s not…it’s a plus one!”

Piggy just looked at him. “That, dearheart, is the definition of a date.”

As much as Robin wanted to debate the issue, he knew his aunt would see right through him. He did want to ask Becky Jo out and Scooter’s wedding was the perfect excuse, especially knowing she had never been to a wedding before. Robin had only been to a few, mainly those in his family, so this would be the first actual non-family wedding he’d ever been to. Not that he didn’t consider Scooter family, he did! And he certainly knew how wild a party the Muppets could throw and he was hoping that would give him a moment to get Becky Jo alone, so he could ask to see her again.

It had only been a few months before Thanksgiving when Robin realized that the quiet turtle he met his freshman year during drama was now in most of his classes and seemed to want to spend time with him. And he absolutely wanted to spend more time with her. She was cute, funny, smart, everything he completely wanted in a girl. He of course didn’t know if she felt the same way, though he hoped so, but he wasn’t going to be so moony to think that they would be together forever, but if he could have her as his very first girlfriend…

The rest of the weekend had been just as Robin had said – time with his aunt, without anyone’s influence. It wasn’t often that he got to spend time with his aunt without his uncle around and they always had fun together. That weekend they finished up any loose ends before she would head out for the bachelorette party, driving into Hollywood proper to see Thoreau for a final fitting for Robin.

Monday morning came faster than the teen had wanted – who wanted to go back to school after the weekend? – but for Robin it was even more exciting, as he was on a mission of utmost importance. Piggy would be leaving on Tuesday for the bachelorette party, which meant Rowlf got to watch him until Thursday, when they would then head out to the wedding. His legal guardians had decided to keep the teen from school on that Thursday and Friday, though only with the caveat that he make up any work either before or immediately after his return. Robin couldn’t be happier – not that he would have to miss school and make up work – but the fact that he was now old enough to partake in all the wild and crazy things he had only heard about.

First things first, of course. He needed to get to school.

At least twice a week, Robin had the fortune of getting a ride to school; in recent months his friend Eli had become an official member of the driving public and his parents allowed him to drive to school. But as much as Robin looked forward to that – and to his first driving lessons with Rowlf while his aunt and uncle were gone – there was something about being driven to school by his aunt or uncle. He knew many of his friends hated being seen with their parents these days – there were times when even he had desperately wanted the floor to swallow up every adult he knew to save him from the embarrassment of a childhood story – but more often than not, he didn’t think the adults in his life were the plague.

Monday morning saw pig and smaller frog leave the house and take the scenic route to school, scenic being that they stopped to get breakfast and coffee, before Piggy dropped him off at the loading/unloading zone. “Want a ride back?” she asked, stopping him before he could completely leave the car.

“Nah,” he said. “Might take the bus back. Unless Spence wants to do something. Is that okay?”

“As long as Moi knows about it beforehand.”

“Will do!” he said, on the verge on getting out. At the last second, Robin popped back in to give his aunt a kiss and a “Bye, Aunt Piggy. Love you!”

“Love you, too,” she sputtered, surprised by the kiss, the sentiment, and the speed at which it had happened. With one blink, Robin was already out of the car and heading towards his circle of friends, who gave her friendly waves when they saw her. Sometimes she was still surprised on these turn of events, shaking her head and pinching herself just to make sure this wasn’t all a dream and that she needed to wake up.

Shaking herself out of it, she nodded to the group, gave one last wave to her honorary nephew, before pulling out of the parking zone.


With needing to leave fairly early the next day, Piggy had all but invited the bridal party to just spend the night on Monday so they could just leave the next day. While Janice and Camilla weren’t strangers to staying at Hotel Frog, Amanda hadn’t, not even when she, her father, and Scooter had left well into the night on Thanksgiving. The house was big enough and the owners never really had a problem with people staying over, especially if any party of theirs involved alcohol – anyone who drank stayed, no exceptions.

Late afternoon saw Piggy lounging on one of the couches, in between Scottie and Amanda, while Janice and Camilla sat across from them, laughing at whatever story, tidbit, or gossip they could think of to pass the time. Scottie, who had always felt comfortable around women he loved and adored, was having the time of his life; it was one thing to be asked to be the best man/gay of honor at his best friend’s wedding, it was another when he got to share in the bridal party with three celebrities.

He had been introduced to Janice and Camilla earlier that day, when he had gotten the text that he was coming over to Piggy’s for the pre-bachelorette party and then they would leave for the official one. Their trip to San Francisco wouldn’t take nearly as long as Scooter’s bachelor party, but Scottie had gotten some primo destinations in mind, not only for his best Manda Panda, but for the other members of the party as well. Living in San Fran himself, Scottie knew all the best spots, especially for the night life, and he’d been dying to show it off to Amanda for years.

They had the house to themselves or would until around 4pm, when Piggy’s nephew would return home from school. A little after the hour, they watched as the door open and a teen frog entered, his eyes and hands preoccupied with the daily mail, as he closed the door behind him. “Lucy, I’m home!” he called, walking into the living room and looking up. “This is every male teenagers’ dream,” he gasped, looking around at the assembled group.

“Four beautiful women sitting in my living room!? I must be dead, cause this is obviously heaven.”

This is your nephew?” Scottie couldn’t help but asked. For some reason, he had been picturing a child, not a clearly grown and flirting teenager.

“Oh, the cheek he gets from his uncle,” she retorted. “Scottie, Robin the Frog. Robin, this is Scottie.”


“And you remember Amanda, of course.”

“Of course!” the teen said, smiling and bowing for the red head. “Aunt Piggy, you know I never forget a pretty face.”

“And yet, Cami and I sit here, unnoticed,” Janice sighed.

“Jani, there is enough of me to go around,” the teen smirked, throwing in a wink because he could.

“Father and uncle,” Piggy lamented to Scottie. “Horrible influences.” Turning back to her nephew, she said, “Robbie, bridal party’s gonna have a bit of a sleep over so we get started bright and early tomorrow.”

“Excellent,” the teen replied, bouncing slightly. “I hope I’m invited.”

Pointing a stern finger at him, she said, “Homework first and then we’ll talk. But far be it for me to starve you to death, so any suggestions for dinner?”

“Well…” Robin thought. “There is that awesome Indian place that delivers or that Greek place. You know the one with the gigantic pizza? If I’m a good boy, could we have Indian?”

“Good boys get their homework done,” countered the diva, holding out her hand for the mail that had been collected.

Walking behind the couch, Robin handed over the daily mail, stating a cheerful, “You got it, Boss.”

“Anything interesting?”

“Bills, bills,” Robin replied, though instead of heading to his room, he leaned over the back to watch his aunt flip through the mail.

“Moi is assuming this gaming magazine is for you, even though Scooter’s name is on it.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the teen nodded. “However, mine eyes and hands shall not touch its glossy cover till thy work is done.”

“Alright Shakespeare,” Piggy groused. “Go be scholarly somewhere else.”

“Aye aye!”

By the time dinner approached, Robin bounded back into their midst, this time the kitchen to present Piggy with the paper he’d been typing up on his laptop; his American cinema class was doing a theme month, this time on strong feminine leads and why they were important to the movie landscape. The paper was very good and only needed some minor corrections; other than that, Robin had made up any homework that he was planning to miss and was free to join them.

Once he made his corrections.

It totally did not escape Scottie’s – or anyone’s – attention that Piggy had settled quite nicely into a domestic routine, that included homework checking for the miniature version of her soon to be brother-in-law. It surprised Amanda as well; not knowing Piggy as well as say, Janice or Camilla, the diva still seemed like a larger than life persona, a hurricane personified really. She wasn’t even married yet, but she could easily see dropping off any child or children with the power couple and being safe in the knowledge that they would watch over their children if they couldn’t.

That was a sobering thought and one she hadn’t yet addressed with her fiancé.

It was rather morbid, but Amanda couldn’t forget the fact that both of them had lost a parent when young and in Scooter’s case, neither of his parents had been around. Looking at Robin, whom she knew had lost his own mother recently, the need to be sure of who they could turn to in case of the worse seemed to rear its head at the worse possible moments. Shaking herself out of it, she decided to put that on the backburner, a discussion for the time when they decided to start trying for children, and instead concentrated on having a good pre-bachelorette party party, or the PB squared, as Robin was calling it.

Amanda didn’t want to admit it and probably shouldn’t, but this was the first sleepover she’d had since she was about six and probably the most fun she’d ever had. Not only did it feel as though this was all for her – though clearly, it was – it almost felt like she had passed that last barrier into being accepted into this huge family of people on her future husband’s side. Like…she was family now, even though it wouldn’t be official for another two days.

And they not only extended that to her, but to her dad and even Scottie, whom she could see had placed himself firmly in the circle of Piggy – they had even performed a ritual to make him an official member of the Axis of Evil (“Oh, Scooter’s gonna just love this!” Robin had chortled). If this could be a part of what she could look forward to, well…it was not all bad.

The Count

Staff member
Jul 12, 2002
Reaction score
Everything in this update is perfectly believable. Robin attending high school. Piggy falling into the role of main domestic. The further plans for both teenage frog and bride-to-be. I applaud thee and eagerly look forward to reading whatever's next.

BTW: What kind of girls are Lindsey and Mallory from that famous Thanksgiving dinner that took place earlier?
Oh, and I may or may not be here later... Currently enjoying a grand thunderstorm today on All Souls Day. We'll see if I still has electrickery as the day goes on. :electric:


Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2012
Reaction score
Everything in this update is perfectly believable. Robin attending high school. Piggy falling into the role of main domestic. The further plans for both teenage frog and bride-to-be. I applaud thee and eagerly look forward to reading whatever's next.
Believably, thy name is Gina!

BTW: What kind of girls are Lindsey and Mallory from that famous Thanksgiving dinner that took place earlier?

Oh, and I may or may not be here later... Currently enjoying a grand thunderstorm today on All Souls Day. We'll see if I still has electrickery as the day goes on. :electric:
Um...you know what? I totally don't remember on Lindsey and Mallory. I think I had an idea and...gone now. They may not be back. Don't know...

Well, hey you be careful then! Enjoy the hols and candles! Get the candles!

The Count

Staff member
Jul 12, 2002
Reaction score
Eh, is okay, I'm just genuinely curious whenever new characters get mentioned. Candles she says. *Has a set up from the 13 Nights that ended just yesterday. Is off to keep reading vonderful fics.


Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2012
Reaction score
The updates continue! After months and months of just sitting on this, the muse kicked into high gear to give you this next section. If you're just turning in (or, like me, have totally forgotten what the heck this things was about), here's your obligatory summary!

SUMMARY - Scooter Grosse had just made the life changing decision to propose to girlfriend, Amanda Cosgrove. With the diva's help, our gofer got a ring and during the big Thanksgiving dinner, popped the question to a resounding yes. However, happiness wasn't gonna continue for the couple, as Amanda's bridal party all bailed and their church flooded.

Never let it be said Muppets don't take care of their own, with Scooter's groomsmen coming to the rescue and Miss Piggy saving the day. When we last left, Scooter's best man - Kermit the Frog - had arranged a five day filled adventure for his younger assistant, starting with the California Railroad museum and ending with a day and a half of LEGO fun at LEGOland. While the boys did their thing, Amanda's 'gay of honor' Scottie 2 Hottie had arrived to start the bachelorette party.

Piggy, as hostess with the mostest, put up the party at the house, while simultaneously looking after Robin the Frog, Kermit's nephew. Our story picks up at the start of the bachelorette party.

Wednesday morning began early – around 6am – but most of the house was already awake, despite their late night shenanigans. The group had already been packed and were just putting suitcases into Scottie’s rented Honda Santa Fe, as Robin continued his routine of getting ready for school. Despite her assertion that she was never up this early, it was clear to the house guests that Piggy routinely was up to see her nephew off to school, even when Kermit was there.

For said teen, the excitement that was coming up in the week was, well, exciting. He’d only mentioned it briefly to his aunt, but he had managed to gather his courage and asked Becky Jo to accompany him on Thursday to the wedding, which she had agreed to; unlike Robin, the turtle would have to attend a few of her morning classes before being able to go – a caveat from her parents – but she had shyly admitted that she looked forward to not only going with him, but spending time with him outside of school.

Piggy wasn’t sure how she felt on the matter – oh, of course she thought it just adorable that Robbie was going for his first girlfriend and Rebecca Jo seemed like a nice girl, but the diva was feeling the same way she had at Thanksgiving when Scooter had proposed to Amanda; that feeling of not being wanted anymore, as another was taking her place. She hadn’t had these feelings beforehand, though she was hard-pressed to admit they had started right around the time Scooter had shown his interest in the pool hall manager. Worse, the diva couldn’t help it; she had totally tried to separate her feelings, chalk them up to just friendly concern, but even Kermit had seen through that.

While they acted like protective friends and guardians, deep down the couple shared the same deeper feelings for both the teenage frog and young stage manager. They had, in their many years together, thrown around the topic of children and – married or not – the idea had been and still was appealing to both and certainly, they weren’t mired in a lack of trying, but for whatever reason – whether purpose or accidental – it wasn’t happening and they were starting to think that perhaps that portion of their relationship just wasn’t to be.

But if they had had children, neither of them could ask for better sons than Scooter and Robin. And it was starting to become increasingly clear that others took notice of the parental signs the couple had towards them and instead of anyone being worried, they had responded in ways that backed up that notion. Amanda had certainly seen that the deep affection went both ways between her fiancée and the power couple, but she had been surprised to see that the same situation played out towards the younger frog.

With an early start, Robin would be taking the bus to school that morning, but would have Rowlf pick him up in the afternoon. As far as Amanda knew, that was the entire plan for the day, other than their drive up to San Francisco; her gay of honor had been very tight lipped as to what he had planned for the group, only saying he’d ‘make the experience enjoyable for all of them’. That started a round conversation that still had the red head blushing, even hours later.

“Got money for lunch?” Piggy was asking, as Robin cleared his bowl of cereal from the table, along with the coffee mugs the adults had been drinking.

“Yep, yep,” the teen replied, washing said dishes and putting them in the drying rack. “Uncle Rowlf’s picking me up?”

“Affirmative,” his aunt nodded. Coming around to stand in front of him, she brushed some imaginary dirt from his shoulder, before looking him directly in the eye. He had hit a recent growth spurt, so now he was slightly taller than his uncle and almost eye level with Piggy. “Keep an eye on things for me while I’m gone and Moi will see you Thursday. Be good and stay out of trouble or else…”

“There will be trouble,” Robin finished, nodding his understanding. “I got it, Aunt Piggy.”

“Alright then.” Delivering a kiss to his cheek, she grabbed one last bag while heading towards the door. “Lock up when you leave and don’t miss the bus!”

Once everyone was in and buckled up, Scottie hit the gas and pulled out the driveway and onto the streets of Beverly Hills. A quick beep had the occupants looking around until Piggy realized it was the sound of her phone, the sign that someone had texted her.

Robbie: You forgot to tell me you loved me. I know you do, I mean how could you not, but it’s always nice to hear.

Smirking at the message, Piggy quickly hit the option to call the recipient, getting a “Vote for Robbie” in response.

“I love you, Robbie, my heart, my love, my sole reason for living.”

“I’m sure I can’t be the only reason for you to live,” came his chuckle.

“Yeah,” she quipped. “Your uncle’s up there somewhere. But have I satisfied your morning requirements in a timely and loving manner?”

“10 out of 10!”

“Then I leave you in the dog’s capable hands,” she said. “You have food there, right? If not, call me and I’ll send Rowlfie some money.”

“We’ll be fine, Aunt Piggy.”

“I swear, if I hear the two of you ate nothing but beef jerky and chips for two days…”

“Hides, tarred and feathered,” Robin interrupted, making his way up the steps of the bus. “I promise I won’t starve and I won’t eat beef jerky for two days straight. I am going to hang up now cause I’m on the bus and headed for school, like the good little frog I am.”

“Moi is detecting a heavy amount of sass in that statement,” she retorted. “But I’ll let you go. Have a good day at school.”

“I will,” the frog replied. “Text me and Uncle Kermit when you get there.”

“Yes darling.”

“Love you.”

“And I you, sweetheart.” Piggy hung up, taking a deep breath to calm herself slightly. She wasn’t sure what it was, but having the young frog declare his love for her so openly and repeatedly sometimes caused her emotions to flare and her heart to swell.

“So I’m just gonna throw it out there,” Scottie said, interrupting the diva’s moment. “But you and Kermit should really consider adopting.”

Camilla piped up, stating that they had already adopted two boys, causing the backseat to giggle and then coo when they could see the blush rise on Piggy’s face. They had of course always teased about her and Kermit being a piece of paper away from being officially married, as well as the prospect of having little baby figs, pogs, and froglets one day, but this was the first time that they had acknowledged – out loud and at least, with one of them around – that they were as good as any parent Scooter and Robin could ask for.

And somehow, that made her heart swell even more.


The drive from Beverly Hills to San Francisco was a little under six hours, though the bridal party managed to arrive in about five thanks to traffic being slow, with most people at school or work. The drive, much like that of the groomsmen, was filled with songs, stories, and laughter as the group continued on. Once in San Fran, Amanda could contain her curiosity no longer and had to ask, “Alright, Scottie 2 Hottie, where are you taking us?”

“My darling Manda Panda,” he replied, throwing a look her way. “Do you not trust me to deliver you an awesome experience?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.”

“Harsh, lovey,” he said. “But if you must know, we are coming up on our first stop of the Scottie 2 Hottie San Fran-tastic tour and I only have one thing to ask you ladies. Would you like Italian or seafood for lunch?”

The group were unanimous in picking seafood, especially when it was clear that Scottie was driving them across the bay and down the pier. “Welcome ladies,” he continued, driving down The Embarcadero. “To the San Francisco Bay, which is there to your right. You’ll of course notice the ferries coming to and fro as they head off to their northern destinations. To your right, you’ll also see the uninhabited Treasure Island, which is connected to our Naval training base and the US Coast Guard.

“As we approach our next destination, you’ll see the Hornblower cruise line, which is not named for Horatio sadly. You’ll also see the Exploratorium coming up on the right; I did think about going there, but I felt we didn’t have enough time. Next time.”

The driving tour continued until the Santa Fe pulled into the parking lot of one of the waterfront restaurants. “And here we are!” the driver announced. “Ladies, welcome to Pier 23, one of the best seaside restaurants in the city and our lunching experience before our actual trip begins.”

Getting out of the car, the girls were extremely impressed with the scenery – they had a perfect view of the Bay, with its ferries and boats going back and forth from the pier. Out in the distance to their right, they could see the outline of the Coast Guard facility, as well as some of the naval training units that sat out at sea. It was the sight to their left however that held interest, to Janice at least, as she was the first to spot it.

“Hey,” she said, as they started towards the restaurant. “If this is San Fran Bay, is that what I think it is?” Turning to their left, she pointed at what looked like a building high on a mountain island off into the distance.

Scottie smiled and nodded. “Good eye,” he said. “That, my lovelies, is where this party gets started. That distant island is our next stop after lunch.”

“What is it?” Piggy asked, intrigued.

“That, my dear, is Alcatraz Island.”

The Count

Staff member
Jul 12, 2002
Reaction score
Uncle Deadly voice: Ah, an update. How delightful.

You're bringing back some fond memories of my family's vacation to Cali and San Fran from about thirty years ago. Has it been that long? :sigh:
If you're going to dine in San Fran, seafood is a must. Ima rully wanting to try their famous chappino with some sourdough bread. At least I has some octopus tentacle meat that mom can make into sammies here. And though I love octopus meat, I will never do what they did in that episode of Chef vs. City, it makes me shudder every single time I think of it.

Heh, Scottie named "Gay of Honor", reminds me of my sister's best friend, The term might get bandied about around in our family lunchtime convos, where we generally kid around with each other. That just made me think of something regarding my second brother's girlfriend's status that made me chuckle.

Now that the muse has taken effect, I hope to read this story finished. In other words, post more when possible. Ima off to my own projects. :batty: :scary: :jim:


Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2012
Reaction score
Goooood morning, Mups! Here is our continuation of day 1 for our bachelorette party. We're finally winding down on 2Ball!

Lunch was of course a lovely affair, with fresh seafood from the bay while actually being able to sit by the waterfront as they ate, watching as the boats came and went. Though it was a sunny day with just a slight breeze, the sea air managed to cool the temperature from the 81 of the day to a nice 77 if the quintet had to guess. Scott was prepared of course, telling his companions to bring light jackets or sweatshirts, especially for this first leg of the trip.

After lunch, the group headed back to the car, though only to grab jackets for their Alcatraz trip. The ladies of the Muppet couldn’t help but smirk at seeing Amanda pull out a slightly battered green jacket before putting it on; seeing their knowing smirks, Amanda replied, “I’m just borrowing it” though the blush she tried to contain was clear. It had been decided that they would walk down the boardwalk to the cruise gate, their tickets already being purchased beforehand, which allowed them to thankfully skip the long lines that were starting to form outside.

Conversation continued from lunch, with Amanda admitting that she had never been on a boat before and this was the first time she’d actually been to sea. Janice, who grew up in Long Beach, regaled them with the times she and her family had headed out to the beach every summer and that she had even been a bit of a surfer back in the day, though she was quick to admit she didn’t think she had the same stuff she had then. As they made their way towards the line for the cruise, they stopped to admire the miniature scale model of the island, detailing just how massive and imposing it truly was.

From there, Piggy and Amanda had begun a conversation about the infamous 1962 escape made by three prisoners, the only time in which a successful escape had been made. However, as in with the real case, the outcome split the two ladies – Amanda was of the opinion that the prisoners had actually been able to make it to the bay from The Rock, even with a crudely made water raft, citing a recent documentary that proposed that it would have been possible. Piggy was adamant that the distance between the prison and land – excluding the new attractions such as their cruise and restaurants – was far too great for anyone to have survived.

The conversation was tabled as the quintet were able to get on board the boat, deciding to stay on the first floor deck to get closer views. It was a perfect time for pictures, with everyone taking at least two with each other – including selfies – in order to also get the backdrop of the ocean behind them. Both Kermit and Scooter responded immediately to images that were texted to them, with Gonzo replying about fifteen minutes later due to some breakfast event that the boys didn’t seem to be offering up any time soon.

As the boat started off, the overhead announcements began, describing what to expect while on the island; their captain then mentioned a few of the different paths that could be taken on the island, with the quintet opting for the longest, which went around the entire island and would give them terrific spots for pictures. As they traveled, Piggy and Amanda once again took up their previous conversation about prisoners escaping, which somehow started a conversation on the famous prisoners of Alcatraz.

Both Scottie, Janice, and Camilla looked at each other, fascinated by the fact that two people could easily start a conversation about prison, then infamous prisoners, murder, and then jump back to their previous conversation about prison escapes. “So,” Scottie said, leaning over to the two. “I bet you were wondering why the heck we were headed to Alcatraz, especially as part of a bridal party.”

Janice giggled. “I was,” she said, shaking her head in mirth. “But now…to be honest, I almost thought you were doing this for Miss P. Boss Frog thinks she has an unhealthy obsession with murder and death.”

Camilla chimed in that at least the diva never took the next step, unlike Gonzo, who would and had literally - and figuratively - laughed in the face of death and continued to go back for more. He was a little more toned down now, but back in his younger days the chicken had been convinced he was either going to get himself killed or arrested; thankfully, it was more the latter than the former.

Arriving at the island still held the ominous feeling that many on board assumed had been felt by prisoners arriving there for the first time. Three stories of solid concrete beckoned to them, with four main blocks that housed 9ft by 5ft by 7ft cells that held the prisoners; while the grounds were lovely to look at now, they hadn’t always been as such, with only the sea to bring any visual joy. The quintet, like some of their fellow visitors, went the long way around to view the island, enjoying the scenery of the city off in the distance and the quiet that the island now gave.

Once inside, the tour group was given their own audio recordings, taken from both guards and prisoners, as they acted as tour guides for the prison.

It was an interesting insight into one of the most famous prisons, considering its reputation for the being the ‘toughest prison in America’ at one point in time. Fascinating still was a look at the ways prisons were run in an age before reformation and prisoner humanity, when some of the biggest and most dangerous prisoners were housed here, an age where the biggest names in law enforcement had sent many of these men to these cells.

It was late in the afternoon when the quintet finally left The Rock, heading back aboard the ferry and to the docks of San Francisco Bay. Amanda couldn’t image what Scott had planned next – she had always wanted to see the inside of Alcatraz, seemingly fascinated with infamous crimes and criminals. She knew that was partially responsible for why some of her boyfriends decided to break up with her; she just enjoyed learning about all parts of history, including the way crimes and justice were conducted.

It was something she had been frightened to admit to Scooter, even after they had started living together, but her fiancée had been more than impressed with some of the things she knew. It hadn’t been a turn off at all, quite the opposite actually, as Scooter had always been attracted to her intelligence, no matter what the knowledge was.

It made her love him even more.

Scottie had ushered the girls into the car before starting it and heading off to their next destination.

“Ladies,” he began. “I’m thinking of dropping off our luggage, getting settled at our hotel and then catching a movie.”

“Catching a movie?” Janice asked, smirking. “Are the movies different in San Fran?”

Scottie chuckled. “Oh,” he said. “You think I mean a normal theater? Oh honey, what kind of bachelorette party would this be?”

“What kind of theater are you taking us to?” Amanda asked, nervously. While she knew wedding parties could get out of control, she was really hoping this wasn’t one of those.

“And do you need to confiscate our phones?” quipped Piggy.

“Naughty girls,” Scottie slyly gasped. “I clearly meant we’d be going to one of the premiere theaters in the city. Are your minds always in the gutter and do your husbands know?”

Janice snorted. “There’s only one married woman here and it’s Cami. Or Piggy, if you don’t count the license.”

Piggy chuckled in response, though she couldn’t exactly hide the blush that was growing on her face. She wanted to set the record straight, but she also didn’t want to take this important moment away from the young couple.

The drive from the bay to their hotel took about twenty minutes, where Scottie continued as tour guide for the group, pointing out different landmarks as they passed. Their destination was that of the Parker Guest House hotel, a quaint bed and breakfast that was situated close the famous Castro district of the city. Scottie had once again gone all out, getting the group two deluxe king sized rooms, split between the five. Scottie and Amanda took one, while Piggy, Janice, and Camilla took the other; the gay of honor had even made sure to get a rollaway bed for the extra person.

Their next destination was a quick 10-minute walk down the street, with the weather much warmer in the city proper than it had been down by the bay. Any worry about what type of theater was quickly replaced when the group approached the vicinity of the classic Castro Theatre, the city’s home for popular film festivals, cult movies, and black & white film screenings.

“Well ladies,” Scottie announced, turning to his charges. “What movie would you like to see today? We’ve got Dr. Strangelove or the Spy Who Loved Me.”

“Let’s let the bride to be pick,” Piggy replied. “It’s her party after all.”

Amanda grinned. “Well,” she said. “You certainly can’t go wrong with Peter Sellers…”


Another two hours later, the group found themselves back at their B&B, getting dressed for dinner. Scottie had been very tight lipped about their last stop of the day, only stating that they would be needing a cab to get to and from their destination. He alluded that they would not only be having dinner there, but there would be a show to enjoy while they did. It was a surprise that no one could possibly anticipate or guess, only that Scottie Coulter had something up his sleeves.

Around six thirty, Scottie deemed them Hotties 5000 and worthy to go to their engagement. A quick call to Uber had the quintet headed out towards Market Street before going down Collingwood Street, before going slightly past 19th and stopping at a bustling dinner club called The Dill Pickle.

“Ladies,” Scottie announced, as the group began to file out of the rental car. “Welcome to the best kept secret in all of San Francisco, The Dill Pickle, or as I call it, The Dill. Owned and operated by one Mister Dillin Pickrell, good friend to yours truly, The Dill will be the last stop on today’s San Frantastic tour. However, never let it be said that a night with Scottie 2 Hottie doesn’t end in a fun time had by all. This way to the egress.”

The club itself was wide enough to hold at least a hundred people, with a bar off to the left and a medium stage at the front. A hostess booth stood at the front, ready to seat and take reservations for those coming in for dinner or any show that was being presented. The group approached, with Scottie giving his name for their reservation. “Is that the magnificent Scottie 2 Hottie I see?”

Grinning, Scottie opened his arms to receive the newcomer. Dressed in a stylish white ball gown, Amanda immediately recognized the person, even with the glamorous red hair that streamed down her back. “Even as a woman, you’re gorgeous,” she huffed, though she chuckled at his surprised look.

“Darling Amanda,” replied the queen, kissing both cheeks of the fellow red head.

“My lovies,” Scottie said, sweeping his hand towards the diva. “May I introduce the one and only, Lucky Day.”

Seeing fellow divas, Lucky Day curtsied as best as he could with the gown he wore. “I am graced with the highest honor,” he gushed. “This is more like my lucky day.” Turning to Amanda, he said, “I heard the most awful rumor that you were getting married.”

Poking him in the ample chest, she smirked. “It’s not awful, nor a rumor.”

“In fact,” Scottie replied. “This is our bachelorette party, so of course we had to come here.”

Emitting a small squeal, Lucky clapped his hands quickly. “Then you shall be our guest of honor,” he said, directing the group towards the front of the club, nearest the stage. Waving to one of the waiters, Lucky continued with, “Anything you want, divas. On the house.”


“I refuse to hear one word against it, Coulter,” Lucky interrupted. “You’re my friend, Mandy’s my friend, and I’m graced by the three divas of the Muppets. I assure you, this is on. The. House. Marky -” Turning to the newly arrived waiter, he continued with, “Special guests here, so full awesome treatment. Everything on the house.”

“Lucky…” sighed Amanda.

“Ignore all protests,” Lucky continued, as though he didn’t hear her. “Best food, best drinks, nothing but the best.”

“You got it, Hoss,” Marky replied, ignoring the glance he got from the diva, and passing out menus to the group. “Happy Hour is still in effect and there’s the list of what’s on tap tonight. I’ll give you a few to decide.”

“Well dears,” Scottie said, grabbing a menu. “Let the party begin.”


The hard hitting guitar intro to Machete Kills blared from the living room as Kermit made his way into the kitchen. He and the guys were still hanging out at Gonzo’s, relaxing from their return to the city, ending their five-day trip with a few beers, snacks, and ridiculous movies. This had been Gonzo’s suggestion, one that had been enthusiastically endorsed by Robin, who had come over with Rowlf a bit ago.

Kermit normally wouldn’t have let his young nephew watch something that was rated R, but the frog had to consider that one, his nephew wasn’t a child anymore and two, he was watching it with a number of adults. And of course three, this had clearly turned into an extended guys’ night out. A quick check-in with his nephew had resulted in him just having him and the pup pianist come over and join. It was actually pretty nice, spending this time with his best friends and family, something that they often did but usually on a more professional level.

Sometimes it was easy to get caught up in the average workday and forget that the people he worked with were also his greatest friends, so having this rest bit from the rigors of Hollywood was a welcomed event.

As promised earlier, Piggy had sent both him and Robin a note that they had arrived safely at their destination, with a flurry of images coming in from their ride to Alcatraz Island and through the city of San Francisco. Kermit was happy that his girl was able to get out of town, especially with the group she had gone along with. Though they had no shortage of people they could hang out with, Piggy hadn’t necessarily bonded with the group the way he had – he and Rowlf had been fast friends since meeting each other and their long years of working together made it very easy to recruit him to join the Muppets overall; he and Fozzie had meshed almost immediately as well and while Gonzo had initially been a rival for the pig’s affections, he and the weirdo had struck an easy friendship as well.

The only people Piggy had gelled with immediately had been him, though she had easily gotten along with Rowlf from the get go. Despite her outgoing and star personality, the diva was strangely private and actually did tend to keep to herself. The years that the group had been together had made her soften slightly and Kermit was thankful that she seemed to have some camaraderie with the show chicken and Mayhem guitarist. That group seemed to have grown to include both Amanda and Scottie, so it was nice to see Piggy having her own set of friends that she didn’t need to share with Kermit.

Not that the frog thought they couldn’t or didn’t share the same friends, however Kermit knew that Piggy always carried the feeling that no one would have given her the time of day if not for him, regardless of how many times he countered that she had done enough to show that they were just as behind her as they were with him.

While it was nice for the two of them to spend time with other people, it didn’t mean Kermit didn’t want to speak to her. Though getting random pictures was nice, it was even better when he could talk to his girl and know for sure that she was okay. Once a movie choice had been made and the guys had started to settle down, Kermit grabbed his phone – probably the one time he actually managed to have it with him – and made his way to the kitchen to give his girlfriend a ring.

Piggy normally answered his calls within a ring or two, unless of course she was mad at him for some reason, so when the fourth ring came, the frog couldn’t help but be a little worried. When ring number five came, Kermit almost hung up and tried calling again, but he relaxed when she answered on the sixth ring. It was clear she and the others were out somewhere, if the music and noise in the background was any indication.


“Hey darlin’,” he said, a slight smile coming to his face. “Just wanted to hi…where are you?”

“Aw!” she cooed, sounding a little breathless. “That is so sweet!” It was notable that she took a moment to speak to someone because he clearly heard her say, “My frog called me to say hi to me!” To Kermit, she said, “You are the bestest frog ever!”

“I know this,” he chuckled. He could hear it in her voice that she may have had one too many and while none of them were heavy drinkers, there were – and had been – several occasions in which their alcoholic intake was greater than they would normally choose. He just hoped there was a designated driver in the bunch.

“It sounds like you’re having a wonderful time,” he continued. “Just how much have you had to drink, baby?”

“What makes you think I’ve been drinking, baby?”

“You mean you haven’t?”

The cute way she giggled told him that she very much had been even before she admitted it. “Oh no, I have,” she said. “But I only had this many…”

“Just be careful, okay?” he said, his voice gentle. He knew they were responsible, but it always bared repeating. “I don’t want you getting sick, so make sure you’re drinking water, alright?”

“He’s taking care of me when he’s not even here,” he heard her say, obviously addressing whatever person or group she was talking to. “Kermie, Imma marry you.”

“That’s the plan.”

“No, no, no,” she protested, either not liking the response or hearing something completely different. “I mean, I’m gonna marry you.”

Thinking of his recent Christmas present to her, the frog couldn’t stop the smile that spread on his face. “I certainly hope so,” he answered.

“Of course!” she declared and Kermit could almost see the way she’d move her arm to demonstrate there was no other statement to make. “You’re my frog and I love you and you’re no one’s frog but mine. You’re gonna carry my children one day.”

Kermit tried to muffle the startled laugh that wanted to escape. Piggy would most likely die of embarrassment the next morning, but Kermit couldn’t help but admit that he loved a loopy diva sometimes. Normally so tight fisted when it came to sharing things with him and others, alcohol and medication – respectively – could loosen the diva’s tongue to where she would sometimes just blurt what was on her mind.

It wasn’t to say that Piggy didn’t find it difficult to tell him when he was wrong – if anything, she excelled in that department – and she certainly could wear her heart on her sleeve at times, there were some moments that the diva held close to her for whatever reason.

“Only if medical science gets that far, so you may want to reverse that,” he stated. He’d kiss her if he could and there was a definite chance he would do so when he saw her again.

Seeing that he had been joined in the kitchen by the groom, Kermit asked, “Hey darlin’, is Amanda with you?”

“She’s on stage.”

“Stage?” he asked, throwing a confused look towards Scooter. “What stage? And doing what?”

Piggy giggled again. “Imma show you!” she announced, before prompting hanging up.

“What was that about?” the stage manager asked.

“I’m not exactly sure,” Kermit began, looking at his phone. “I can tell you Piggy at least has had a few drinks. Quite possibly more than a few.”

“You think everyone has too?”

The frog shrugged. “They are celebrating,” he said. “I wouldn’t worry though, they’re all responsible, so at most I hope we get some sort of explanation tomorrow morning.”

“The two of you are missing a great movie,” replied Rowlf the Dog, who appeared to toss a few empty beer bottles into the trash and grab a few more.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Scooter said, shaking his head and heading back into the living room.

“What’re you conspiring about in here?”

Kermit snorted, taking one of the offered bottles the pianist handed to him. “Is that what you all think whenever Scooter and I hold meetings together?”


Waving his phone, Kermit said, “Just checking on the bridal party. They seem to be having a good time, if Piggy’s intoxication level is anything to go by.”

Rowlf chuckled. “As long as she isn’t talking out of school, I think we’re fine.” Taking a pull on his own bottle, Rowlf leaned over to say, “I’ll give her a call tomorrow if you want. Let her know about the status of everything.”

“No, I’ll do it,” Kermit replied, shaking his head. “But so far so good?”

“Everything’s right on schedule,” the pianist replied. “The place looks amazing, though I would expect nothing less from her royal highness.”

“Piggy’s got style,” the frog agreed. “And that will never be in dispute. What about our venue?”

“Also amazing,” Rowlf said. “The boys put a lot of work into it, you’ll hardly recognize it.”

“Well, that’s precisely the point. I want the place to look as close to a venue as possible. They deserve it.”

“And you’ve got it,” Rowlf said, grinning. Delivering a friendly jab to the frog’s shoulder, he continued with, “You’ve done a great job, for king and country. The kid couldn’t ask for a better father of the groom.”

“Best man,” Kermit corrected, though his face heated up at the compliment. It had gone unspoken, but apparently not unnoticed just how much he and Piggy adored Scooter, even if the latter’s feelings seemed more apparent than the power couple’s. Everything the two of them had done – from the bachelor party, to stepping in as part of the bridal party, to creating a church for the ceremony, and even their wedding gift – had been because they loved the younger Muppet more than they probably ought to.

“That too.”

The Count

Staff member
Jul 12, 2002
Reaction score
Yay, update!

*Reading through the portion of San Fran in the morsel.
Ah, memories, almost thirty years since that family trip to Cali and yet there are certain things about it I'll always remember.

You makea me hungry for some chapino stew and a fresh loaf of sour dough. Good thing I happens to love seafood.

The femforce-five got ferried to downtown SFO via Uber?
:rolleyes: I loves the Ubers!

Machete Kills... Starring that guy what got his own private cell in another impressively famous prison, Gulag 38B in Siberia. :fanatic:

Nice that Rowlf and Robin joined the rest of the guys at Gonzo's apartment. Just move the eggshells and nesting straw off to the side and there's enough room for everybody.

Mandy on stage? This must be posted as part of the next segment! And if Piggy's already tipsy, well, the others can't be far behind.

Excellent, thanks muchly for this and I look forward to the continuing story of the pool heiress and her nerdly nuptials.


Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2012
Reaction score
Holy Saturday updates, Batman! Yes, yes, I am giving you an update. I am seriously sorry for the lack of them, especially when I've had half of this chapter written for months and have only today sat down and had the ideas come forth.

In case it has been WAY too long, oblig summary for you: Scooter Grosse and Amanda Cosgrove have gotten engaged, but they can't celebrate yet. A snafu with the bridesmaids and a flood at their church have sent the couple into a panic. Luckily, their bridal party is there to help out. Kermit, as best man, has brought Scooter and the rest home before his big day, while Scottie Coulter leads the bride and her Axis of Evil through San Francisco.

When we last left our bride and friends, they had been having a night out in the famous Castro district after coming back from the infamous Alcatraz Island and prison. What sights and sounds does the gay of honor have in store for the morning after? And what exactly are the rest of the Muppets hiding from our soon to be wedded couple?

New chapter begins in 3....2....1!

The sun, Piggy decided, was way too bright.

A new morning dawned in the city of San Francisco, though Piggy was not in the mind to truly enjoy it. Fuzzy memories were somewhere in her mind, though they were all hazy upon inspection. She thought she had talked to Kermit, somewhere before or maybe during a duet with Misty Collins…or was it Destiny? And had they been singing an Elton John song or Lady Gaga?

She couldn’t remember and she was fairly sure that trying to do so was making her head hurt even more than it already was.

Sitting up slightly in bed, she noticed she was the only one there, with no sounds coming from any other part of their room. Turning to look at the night stand to her left, she noticed a full glass of water and a note that came from none other than Janice.

Hey Miss P!

Here is some water for you! You should probably drink it. Depending on when you get this, we’ve just left to have breakfast or something that will settle in our stomachs. Scottie promised us aspirin – last night, maybe? – if we had breakfast together, so come on down!


Even seeing the word breakfast was enough to have her stomach rolling, but she knew she would need something, even if it was orange juice and a greasy egg. Reaching for her phone, she noticed that there was a text message from Kermit waiting for her, as well as pictures or videos that had been backed up sometime the night before. Not wanting to revisit for the time being, the diva hauled herself out of bed and headed for the shower.


The Parker Guesthouse had an aptly titled sun room where guests could enjoy breakfast and other small social events and which happened to overlook their beautiful gardens. Taking up most of the half bench/half table sat the rest of the Coulter party, who were ecstatic to have the diva grace their presence, even if most of them felt exactly as well as she did. Taking the offered seat next to Camilla, Piggy let out a deep breath.

“I feel horrible.”

“That’s the sign of having a ****** good time,” Scottie chuckled. “And you were delightfully drunk.”

Piggy couldn’t help the smirk. “Well now, I’m horrifically hungover,” she said, smiling gratefully at their waitress who was sitting down coffee mugs and coffee for all of them. The familiar strings of Kermit’s ringtone sounded in the little area, prompting Piggy to pick it up, least it grate on her already tempered headache.

“Yes darling?”

“How ya feelin’, tiger?” came the amused greeting.

“Like my brain is in a vice and I licked a skunk’s fanny,” she retorted. “Other than that, it’s a bright, sunny day.”

“That good, huh?” Kermit said, his voice turning sympathetic. While he never tried to pester her when she was out having fun, knowing that she had been drinking while doing so – even with other people – always caused him to try and keep tabs on her. He was a worrywart by nature and no amount of age would ever stop that, especially in regards to Piggy.

“Didn’t drink any water, did you?”

“I may have,” she sighed, drinking a sip from her coffee. “Possibly. I literally and figuratively do not recall.”

Again, Kermit chuckled. “Well,” he began. “Given what you ladies and Scottie were up to last night, I’m not surprised.”

That was an interesting piece of the puzzle, that was also quite concerning as well. Piggy was not a heavy drinker, however she could admit that sometimes they – as in everyone – could sometimes let loose and threw caution to the wind. But the diva prided herself on being able to hold her alcohol, only Rowlf and Floyd could actually drink her under the table.

“What do you mean by that?”

Whatever answer Kermit was ready to give was cut short by Amanda’s question of, “Piggy, did you send a video of me to Scooter last night?”

“Um…” To her recollection, the answer to that was no, but she would be lying if she could actually remember. “Kermit,” she asked. “Did I send you guys any videos last night?”

“You sent many videos of many things last night,” Kermit replied, a slight smile on his face. “Including one where you declared your undying love to me and that if you had to choose between myself and Betty White, I would win.”

That had been the nicest and funniest video he’d receive. Piggy had apparently gone crazy with video tapping just about everything that happened past their conversation last night. Of course, only some of them actually showed what was happening – most were videos of the floor, the table, the chair, or other people in the club they were in; Kermit chalked it up to the fact that Piggy – who was the narrator in these – had gotten easily distracted by her companions. Her narrations went from trying to describe what was happening to conversations with her tablemates to ordering food or drinks.

How she had gotten on a Betty White kick, he wasn’t sure - though he suspected some random conversation about the Golden Girls had started it – but almost immediately, he had gotten a text about it, followed by her video confession, followed by a phone call all within fifteen minutes.

“Um…” the diva started. “Why…why did I bring up Betty White?”

“I’m not sure,” the frog said, shrugging. “But it started with a text stating you might be in love in her, then you made that video stating that you loved me forever. That was followed up by a phone call in which you explained, and I quote, ‘We should have her on the show, Bernie. But you know what? What if her presence comes between us? She’s like a Tootsie roll, with their chocolatey chew. Tootsie roll, I think I’m in love with you’ And that’s when you started singing the Tootsie roll jingle.”

“And you didn’t think to stop me?”

“I did!” he protested. “After your lovey rendition of the Golden Girls theme, which I think you managed to get your table and half of the club to sing. It was very endearing.”

Piggy took a deep breath. She prided herself on her public appearance and control and heaven help her if there had been a reporter there or worse, if anyone else managed to get a hold of those. “And Amanda?” she huffed.

“Just a few videos of her singing on stage,” the frog said. He’d have to smooth over her ego once she got home; while as fun as it looked, he could tell she was highly embarrassed and concerned that her behavior would come back and bit her. “She’s actually a very good singer, did you know that? Not as good your Tootsie roll theme though, but…”

“Stop trying to cheer me up,” she huffed, though she had a slight smile on her face. “Things alright over there?”

“Yes dear,” he said, chuckling at the irritated growl he heard. “Things are dandy. Rowlf and Robin came over here and we watched some movies. Oh, Robin would like me to inform you that he hasn’t touch one beef jerky stick, even when they tried to corner him on his way to school.”

“He gets that cheek from you.”

“He gets that cheek from his father,” came the retort.

“Who is your brother,” Piggy fired back. “Runs in the family.”

“Seriously though,” he whispered, though still highly amused. “Are you alright?”

“I will be,” she sighed. “Once Moi has several cups of coffee and eggs. Or pizza. Something that will make my stomach shut up and not turn over.”

“Electrolytes, sweet pea,” Kermit said.

“We will pick up some Gatorade, I promise.”

Piggy continued the conversation for another minute before she let the frog go in favor of ordering breakfast. Within a few moments of their waiter walking away however, an alert came in to her phone, notifying her of another text from Kermit. Pulling her notifications and tapping on the alert for text messages, she was able to the one she missed, as well as the newest one he had just sent.

Kermie: I love you more than Betty White. And yes, we should definitely consider her as a guest. Drink water, sweet pea!

Kermie: Meant to give you an update on our gift. Rowlf and Robin went over yesterday and everything’s a go. On both fronts. Just head over to the studio tomorrow.

Piggy Lee: Best. Husband. Ever!

Kermie: Not yet. :wink: but yes. I totally am. Electrolytes!

Piggy Lee: Yes dear.

“Wow,” Amanda sighed, shaking her head and putting her phone away. “Next time we go drinking, one of you needs to keep me away from the stage.”

“And miss performances like your rendition of Milkshake?” Janice laughed. “What’re you doing on Sundays? We’re always hunting for talent.”

“It’s one thing to embarrass myself in front of people I kinda know,” the redhead huffed. “It’s a completely different beast doing it on national television. No thanks. It’s bad enough Scooter said he would treasure my shout out to him.”

“Hey,” Piggy countered. “It’s no small feat fitting the words to your own thing. Especially on the fly.”

“And drunk,” Scottie added. “How did you sing it? Oh! My milkshake brings all the geeks to yard. They’re like, it’s faster than cores.

That started the others to join in before Amanda laughed for them to stop, embarrassed, but still amused at the moment. She wasn’t a drinker by nature, however it had been a special occasion and it’s hard to stop when your empty glass seems to still be filled every time you look away. It certainly didn’t help that Lucky was comping them drinks all night, along with food; she was sure that they had spent well over a hundred dollars, not to mention pretty much had the run of the place if her impromptu sing-a-long was any indication.

The group enjoyed breakfast, with Scottie giving out little hints as to what their last day in San Francisco would hold. He didn’t tell anyone where they were going exactly, only that their next stop was going to be fun, but educational and that their last stop would be fun and mysterious. To anyone else, starting a bridal party at one of the greatest and infamous prisons in the world seemed odd and even weird, but Scottie had known Amanda since high school and he knew the types of things she would enjoy.

“Alright, host with the most,” Piggy said, nodding to the waiter as he topped off her coffee. “When’re we leaving?”

“Right after breakfast,” the blonde replied. “Get all packed up, we’ll load up, and be on our way. We should be back in lovely Beverly Hills by nightfall, give or take a few hours.”

“And you’re not telling us where we’re going,” Amanda said, giving her longtime friend a look.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

Settling up – with Camilla insisting that she wanted to pay for a good time had by all – the quintet headed back to their rooms to pack, ensuring that they had everything and weren’t leaving anything behind. By the time they left, it was nearly a quarter past nine and while Scottie wasn’t rushing them out the door, he did have an urgency to be on the way, as he wanted to avoid any crowds. The girls assumed he was talking about traffic, so it wasn’t until they arrived at their destination a little before ten that they understood.

The California Academy of Sciences was San Francisco’s premiere planetarium and museum, with a large wall aquarium and a living roof that helped to bring in sunlight to some of the underground exhibits. Amanda, being the lover of science that she was, had literally bounced in excitement upon seeing the large red entrance sign. “Janice, you may want to move,” Scottie joked. “Or little miss Mandy is gonna run you over.”

“No, I’m not,” Amanda whined, though it was clear she wanted to get out of the car and get inside.

“That’ll teach you for sitting in the middle,” the diva joked, tossing a look over her shoulder.

After teasing the bride for a few more minutes, the quintet finally left the car, heading up the steps towards the entrance and entering the museum. During the school year, the museum was expected to have several different field trips happening, but the group had actually lucked out by coming on Wednesday and during the morning, meaning they had the whole place nearly to themselves.

That would hopefully get them through the main floor at least.

The museum had several, including the living roof that patrons could visit. Scottie knew they would have a few hours here, especially when the initial plan was to buy tickets for the planetarium show, Incoming. “Alright ladies,” Scottie replied, seeing the way the four were looking around. “Scottie 2 Hottie is letting you explore, but we should totally meet up again before lunch. It’ll take an hour to our next place, so sync your watches for like 11:30.”

He could see Amanda wanted to whine about that, an hour and a half wasn’t nearly enough to explore everything, but they did need to return that night. Sighing in acknowledgement, Amanda reluctantly tried to pinpoint a worthy exhibit. “Okay,” she said. “I am totally going to the planetarium.”

“Which works out for me,” Scottie replied. “Cause I was totally gonna buy tickets for the Incoming show.”

“We have like…totally got to see the rain forest,” Janice added.

“Vous realizes that we’ll need to come back at some point,” Piggy said.

“And what better excuse to have?” the blonde retorted. “Besides seeing me, of course.”


Almost two hours later saw the group leaving the planetarium and heading back on the road down the I-280 towards San Jose. Closed lipped as he was, Scottie wouldn’t say anything about their next and last destination, which gave way to speculation. Janice thought they could be heading to the beach, while Camilla figured they were heading towards Mexico, causing Piggy to turn and look at her. She couldn’t help but mention that her husband had come up with the same exact thought when Kermit had directed Fozzie to drive to LEGOland. The Mayhem guitarist joked that the two were now officially spending too much time together, which prompted the show chicken to retort that Kermit spoke French on occasion.

“Well, I’m sure it’s not the language he excels in,” Scottie quipped, causing a surprise giggle to come from his navigating diva.

“That goes without saying.”

As with the groomsmen, the car ride to their last destination was full of laughter, jokes, and smiles, dirving past the scenery of the roadway. The drive was similar to the rote that would take them back towards Beverly Hills, however it became apparent they weren’t headed back to Beverly Hills, but towards the city of San Jose. None of the other passengers, save Scottie, knew of anything within San Jose but they weren’t heading to San Jose; in fact, Scottie pulled off onto South Winchester Blvd.

“Oh my god,” Janice whispered, scooting forward in her seat and peering out the front window. “I know where we are. I know where we’re going! You are, like the best gay of honor ever!”

“Shouldn’t that be my line?” Amanda questioned, also moving forward. Her movements woke up Camilla, who had been snuggled in asleep next to her. “And where are we going?”

Turning in excitement, Janice asked, “What’s the best possible house you could ever visit? With winding staircases to no where and doors that lead to walls?”

It only took a minute before the red head’s eyes widen. “Holy mystery Mondays, Batman!”

“Where’re we?” Piggy asked, also waking up from a nap.

“Like, the most mysterious house in the world,” Janice piped up. “You’re looking at the Winchester Mystery House. Sarah Winchester married the son of Oliver Winchester, the lt. governor of Connecticut and manufacturer of the Winchester repeating rifle. They were pretty happy for a few years, but then their infant daughter died suddenly, which was then followed by the death of her husband. So consumed with grief, Mrs. Winchester went to a spiritualist to see if she could speak to her husband one last time.

“Instead, the spiritualist told her that all the bad things that had happened to her – the deaths of her husband and child – were the results of the spirits of those who were killed by Winchester rifles and that she was most likely the next victim. But there was, like, an alternative and that was to move out west and construct a house for those spirits. And as long as construction never stopped, Mrs. Winchester would be spared from any torment. So…for over three decades, she just kept building on the house, adding rooms, stairways, doors, you name it, but like, the spiritualist didn’t say any of the construction had to make sense. So…”

“You get literal stairways to heaven,” Mandy added. “Or doors that lead straight down, to your death that is.” Turning to Scottie as he pulled into the parking lot, she said, “You are the greatest gay of honor in the history of…maids of honor!”

“I know this,” Scottie replied. “So should we pay for a tour or just get Janice here show us around?”

“Depends,” Piggy chuckled. “Do we have to pay you, Janice?”

“Like, my payment can be love and energy,” the guitarist laughed. “But I am never opposed to a twenty.”

The group left the car and decided to get the tour, though it was near spot on to what Janice had told them in the car. The mansion itself was a large Victorian, with English wallpaper and African mahogany panels, plus a well-kept lawn and hedges outside. And while the main sitting room gave the air of elegant parties and intelligent after dinner conversation, it was not the reason travelers – including their party – went there.

As the tour guide mentioned, the number thirteen was placed everywhere and in everything in the house. There were thirteen ceiling panels in each room, thirteen windows, and thirteen panels in them; thirteen steps to mislead and misdirect not only spirts, but those who came to view the home. Amanda couldn’t help herself – she was in literal heaven. She had always wanted to see the Winchester Mystery House and the fact that Scottie knew her well enough to book a tour was a testament of her correct decision to have him next to her when she got married.

Speaking of getting married, Amanda of course had been sending text and pictures to Scooter all morning long, hoping that these new adventures would put out the madness of the night before. Like a trooper, her husband to be told her nothing could erase her performance for him, however he did add that he wanted to return to some of their locations, just the two of them and really take in the experience. If she hadn’t been in love with him already, she could certainly fall for him again.

The tour was about an hour, with the last portion allowing guests to peruse the house themselves, with a strict warning that they stay with their friends and not venture off by themselves. There was an additional warning to be wary of the doors on the second floor, as they were known to open out into the morning air and if one wasn’t careful, they could easily fall right out of the house.

Just as Alcatraz got Piggy and Amanda into a discussion about prisons and prisoners, the Winchester house began a conversation between Janice and Amanda about spirits, séances, and the world beyond ours. The Mayhem guitarist was very much into spiritualism, believing that there was a place people went after death and that death sometimes wasn’t the end for some. While Piggy and Camilla would argue on some points, they did appreciate the blonde’s outlook on life – that one day we all get reunited with those who have left us.

The sun was still high in the sky when the group left, heading back out onto the I-280 and turning into the I-101 towards Beverly Hills. It had been a wonderful two days and as much as Amanda had loved every minute of it, she couldn’t wait until tomorrow. She and Scooter hadn’t seen each other for five days and she still wouldn’t see him until she walked down the aisle tomorrow afternoon. It still seemed too long, but after tomorrow, she would be Mrs. Andrew Grosse and he would be Mr. Amanda Cosgrove; well, they hadn’t actually discussed that last part, but she was sure he wouldn’t be adversed to it.

It would take a few hours to get back to Beverly Hills, but Amanda couldn’t be wish they could get there quicker. Pulling out her phone, she sent a text message to her fiancée, telling him they were on their way back and that she couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Almost instantly he replied, telling her he loved her and couldn’t wait to marry her. Amanda settled in for the drive, closing her eyes and thinking about tomorrow.

Stay tuned cause somebody's getting married! And we solve two mysteries in one place!

The Count

Staff member
Jul 12, 2002
Reaction score
*Hands over pan of caramel brownies to WMG for finally updating this after a half-year hiatus.
:smile:: This fic was on hiatus?! That sounds painful.

The various vidclips sent by Piggy and Mandy to their respective others... Yeah, I'm pretty much embarrassed aboot all the crap I sent out due to my naivity with that Superpoke thing on FB. I'm rully wanting to delete it all and post an apology to be truly done with that, probably ask my second brother's GF.

I think I've read about the Winchester Manor... Though I prefer the Narlans charm of the Gracie Mansion, thing is they've not got a full accounting of all their 999 Happy Haunts.

Looking forward to getting Mandy and Scooter together again again for the pending ceremony, whenever that gets posted. Thanks. :jim: