Hello. I am Seymour Philip Hoffman. I was asked by a representative from The Institute Of The Snowthers to host this year's Sixth Somewhat-Annual Muppet Central Forum Awards, because apparently you guys couldn't afford bigger name celebs like Steve Carell or Ricky Gervais. I have a reputation of crashing award ceremonies. In fact, just last year, I stole the Oscar from my more talented twin brother Philip Seymour Hoffman. I could just see the sour look in his eyes as he sat in the auditorium next to Dustin Hoffman on his right, and a salami sandwich on his left. In spite of my reputation, I was willing to clean up my act on behalf of muppet fans the world over for the honor of hosting your little ceremony here. However, I failed my screening process and had 4-F stamped on my forehead. And now, I have seaked revenge. I have hijacked your D'Snowth's account, and am holding hostage by having him hogtied to an electric chair, while I print out pictures of the girl he is in love with, and promptly ripping them to shreds, thus, whenever he cries or screams, he is lit up like a fricken Christmas tree. I will set him free unless my demands are met. And I am not asking for much. All I want is *Holds up pinky finger to mouth* one hundred, million, billion, trillion, gazillion, shmidly-diddly-doo-fuhjillion... yen.