The Scoop of the Century

[PuppyLuver]

Thanks. *hugs back* I needed that.

 

[PuppyLuver]

PuppyLuver Studios presents

The Scoop of the Century

Chapter 7: Into the Labyrinth

You remind me of the babe.

What babe?

Okay, I’ll quit while I’m ahead. XD

Um... who wants muffins?

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“Oh, god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. We’re all gonna die. We’re all gonna die!"

The Orb Retrievers had made it to the next world. Everyone was on edge from their close call, but Jess had definitely come out worse than any of them. She had been heavily panicking for at least a half hour. “Why are you spazzing so bad?" Web asked, back in her normal bird form. “We made it out of there alive, at least. It could’ve been worse!"

“I didn’t think it was real...” Jess murmured. “I thought it was like campfire stories... just something that guy made up to give people a nice, healthy scare...” No one knew what she was talking about, except maybe the readers of this story. But they would not be able to properly explain it, nor would I, so it would have to remain a mystery until the proper time.

In any case, the Orb Retrievers had reached their final destination, so to speak. They were just outside the Labyrinth. Dimentio was busy scanning the outside walls for the entrance. “Okay, I know it’s here somewhere," he muttered to himself. He ran his hand along the cracks of the brick wall, looking for something. Soon, his finger ran across a sort of runic inscription on an oddly colored brick. “Bingo!" He pressed the inscription, causing the brick to sink into the wall. A bodiless voice spoke. “Whoa, hold it!” the voice exclaimed. “Not just ANYBODY can come through this entrance! Crazy Redd has to make sure you’re on the level with our group, meaning you have to tell me the secret password! When I say ‘Even robbers...’” The voice paused, waiting for an answer.

“‘Have safes’," Dimentio replied. This made all the bricks of that portion of the wall move, opening a doorway into the Labyrinth. He made his way through the newly opened passage. “Well, are you coming or staying?" he asked everyone. They all made their way in after him, though Jess was grumbling about the stupid fox that sold her a fake painting. After they were all in, the doorway closed back up.

Meanwhile, Fozzie had pulled Misty away from the others(but not too far away). “Misty," he said. “In case we get separated in here... there’s something I wanna tell you.”

“What is it?" asked Misty.

Fozzie took in a deep breath. “Okay, so this man is making a brick wall.” Apparently, what he wanted to tell her was a joke. Go figure. “He runs out of bricks half-way through, see? And he goes over to his friend, who sells bricks. His friend tells him he can give him a lot of bricks for free, but they’re all pink. The man thinks, whatever, the color doesn’t matter, I just need to get this wall finished. So he finishes the wall with all the pink bricks and he has one left. He doesn’t know what to do with the last pink brick, so he just throws it.”

Misty was confused. “I don’t get it," she said. “Where’s the funny part?"

Fozzie smiled. “This one’s a two-parter," he replied. “When we get through all of this, I’ll tell you the second part. Okay, Misty?"

”Okay!"

So they began to make their way through the Labyrinth. Thanks to Dimentio’s expertise/obsession, they all made it through the first bit okay. Suddenly, something bad happened. Stardust collapsed for no reason. “Oh my gosh!" Shooting Star screamed. “Is he all right?"

Dimentio rushed over to his Sableye, a strange look of fear in his eyes. Jess recognized that look. She had seen it every time she had been separated from her mother for long periods of time or when she got hurt. Parental panic.

“No...” Dimentio moaned. “He’s suffering from his world having been destroyed...”

“What?"

“Anyone can survive in another world for as long as their lifespan will allow, as long as their world of origin is intact," Dimentio explained solemnly. “However, if a world is destroyed, all living essence originating from that world will vanish. Even if some inhabitants escape, they won’t survive for more than a few days at the most. They will simply cease to exist. Not dead, not alive. Nothing more than a lifeless rock.” He snapped his fingers, sending Stardust to Dimension D for some rest. The group pressed onward, not saying anything else for a long time.

“You know," Misty said after a while, “he didn’t have to put it so bluntly.”

“That’s Dimentio for you," Jess sighed, not noticing that her hair had turned a slight burgundy red...

“Uh-huh.” Web looked around. “The plants around here are very strange-looking," she said, “and also somewhat beautiful...”

Suddenly, Mimi screamed. “Eeek! Where’d everyone else go?" The only people in the area were Web, Misty, Mimi and Jess. Already, they had been separated form the main group. “I’m scared," Mimi said softly.

“It’s gonna be okay, Mimi," Jess told her. “We just hafta keep our hope close and our wits about us.” She thought for a bit, then took off her hat, revealing a plastic bowl and a piece of Styrofoam with a paperclip jammed in the middle. “And I have my own homemade compass! Anyone got any water?"

Soon, with a little bit of magic from the Water Orb, they were able to put Jess’s paperclip compass to work. The compass found the magnetic north of the Labyrinth, and Mimi was able to get a good view of where the center was by standing on Web’s head. They went in that direction as much as they could, making turns only when necessary. This worked for a while, but soon, around the time their feet started to hurt...

“Okay... we have a problem.” The magnetized end of the paperclip suddenly swerved away from the direction it had been pointing in and pointed itself straight at Jess. Jess turned around while holding it, but the compass continued to point straight at her. “Crap," she muttered. Then, to see if it was truly broken, she told Mimi to hold it for a while. As soon as the compass was passed off, the needle started to spin uncontrollably. “It’s broken!" Mimi shouted. Jess started to cry. “But... but... it was genius! My 8th grade history teacher said so himself! I got an A+ for that! Waaah! WAAAAAAAHHH!"

“Oh, are you gonna cry? Are ya gonna cry like a little baby? Waaah! Waaah!"

“Wh-who said that?"

The four girls were standing in front of what looked like a statue of a Hindu god, and not a very polite Hindu god, as it was scratching its rear end with one of its many arms. “Look," the statue said, “crybabies never make it through the Labyrinth. Only those who know what they’re doing can make it through. AND YOU KIDS DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU KNOW DIDDLY-SQUAT!"

“Actually, I’m over 18," Web said. “I’m technically not a kid.”

“Whatever.” The statue coughed harshly, then spit at the ground. “There’s a door right behind me. It leads toward the center of the Labyrinth, which I guess is where you’re headed. Problem is, I ain’t movin’, not unless each of you can solve one of my patented riddles.” The girls agreed to each attempt a riddle. “Alright, then. Up first, the little green girl.”

“Me?" Mimi asked uncertainly. “I dunno, I’ve never been good at riddles...”

The statue began. “Here it comes, little girl. Are you ready?"

“I guess...”

“Good. Here’s your riddle. First think of a person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies. Next, tell me what’s always the last thing to mend, the middle of middle and the end of the end? And finally, give me the sound often heard during the search for a hard-to-find word. Now string me together and answer me this, which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?”

Jess scoffed. “No fair, she gets an easy one!"

“An... easy one?" Misty asked. “I didn’t understand a word of it.”

“It should be easy for her, anyway," Jess told her. “If she doesn’t get this, I’m seriously gonna reconsider putting in a good word for her in the Secret Society of Shapeshifters. Oops! I wasn’t supposed to let that secret out!"

Meanwhile, Mimi was still trying to figure out her riddle. “Hmm, it all adds up to a creature that’s totally unkissable... Well, no one would wanna kiss my true form...” Suddenly, her eyes brightened. “I got it! It’s a spider! A spider!"

“Hmph, smart kid," the statue said. Mimi jumped for joy. “Next, the crybaby. I’m talkin’ to you, Miss Secret Society of Shapeshifters!"

“Drat, he heard!" Jess walked up, ready to receive her riddle.

“All righty, here goes. What object is so fragile, even saying its name can break it?”

“Silence.”

“Yep.”

Jess laughed to herself. “I read that one in the school newspaper!" she bragged.

“Up next is the redhead," the statue said. Misty stepped forward. “What is the one thing that the more you take away from it, the bigger it gets?”

Misty thought hard. Memories flashed before her, one in particular being the instance when Zoot dropped Shirley, his lucky garbanzo bean, down a cicada exit hole in the back yard. He was so desperate to retrieve Shirley, he practically begged Bunsen to lend him a new digging machine the good doctor had recently invented. Zoot dug up the back yard with the efficiency and vigor of the most determined terrier dog, each day the whole and the piles of dirt growing bigger... “I got it!" she cried. “A hole!"

“Heh, looks like I’m up against my match here!" The statue turned to face Web. “Now it’s your turn, birdie.” Web gulped. The statue took a deep breath, signifying this would be a doozy. “Long ago, a horrible criminal was facing execution. The executioner offered him a chance to get out of his ordeal with a test. The criminal was to say a statement. If the executioner believed the statement to be true, the criminal would be hanged. If the statement was believed false, the criminal would be beheaded. If the executioner could not tell if the statement was true or false, the criminal would be set free. What would be best for the criminal to say so he could be released?”

Web didn’t know what to say. She was no good at riddles, that was what Errol was best at. But she was in no position to give up. She had to at least try. Suddenly, she figured it out. “The criminal said... that the executioner would... cut off his head! That way, if the executioner said it was true, he’s hang him, making it false! If the executioner said it was false, he’d behead him, making it true!"

“Lucky me," the statue said proudly. “I haven’t seen a group of such clever young people since who-knows-how-long. I hope we can meet again someday.” The statue smiled, and was slowly lifted into the skies, revealing the door. “Awesome!" Jess exclaimed, her hair now a cranberry red. “We rock! We rock so hard! Hi-five, guys!" They hi-fived and went through the door.

“Wow, now that we got past that, this Labyrinth seems much easier!" Web said.

“I know!" Mimi said. “We’re doing great!"

“Yeah!" Misty agreed. “This is a piece of cake!"

At that exact moment, the ground opened underneath the girls, dropping them into the darkness below.

 

[The Count]

Wow! An update! And at the Labyrinth no less. *Loves the GOF riddle reference. *Wonders why you couldn't have thrown in the classic bout man in there too. All good riddles. So how's about this one.
What question can you never answer "yes" to?
Hint: It's Bert's usual plague.

BTW: What's up with Jes's hair changing colors? Is that part of the homeworld being consumed by the Nothing from Never-Ending Story II?
Post more! And if you could, nudge Maddie to update hers too.

 

[PuppyLuver]

Yay! I used the sphinx riddle as a coy reference of some sort, the same reason I gave Mimi a Spinarak in the second chapter. ... I have no idea what the "classic bout man" is, sorry. ^^;

That riddle... I don't know that. *is thrown into the Gorge of Eternal Peril* AAAAHHH!

No, it's not being consumed by this Nothing you speak of. I've never seen any part of the Never-Ending Story saga(though I did see Homestar's Never-Ending Soda). Since my character's a shapeshifter, her hair color could be seen as something similar to an energy gauge. When it's the normal dark brown color, she's in peak condition(at least, for her). As it gets lighter, it's a sign that she's not doing so good. It's related to Stardust's collapse early in this chapter...

Maddie's told me she's been having problems with her account. It's acting like she never fully activated it. Something screwy in the system, maybe...?

 

[The Count]

Replies...

1 The classic Sphinx riddle, posed by the Theban Sphinx ( a female Sphinx with head of a woman, body of a lion/lioness, and wings to fly):
What creature is it that walks on all fours in the morning, on two in the middle of the day, and on three at night?
Man; all fours in the morning of its life when it is a baby, two in the afternoon when it has grown to walk upright, and on all three at night when it is old and needs a walking stick.
2 Figured her hair changing was linked to Stardust's condition, that's what I sort of refered to.
3 The Nothing... Never-Ending Story... You must rent those movies!
4 Yes, that's because Maddie's account is tied to an aol.com account. There was an upgrade made to the boards, and a thread posted in Feedback... All aol.com members have to change their email addresses to a different system like yahoo.com or gmail.ccom. She needs to change her addy, then update her profile info, and all will be okay-dokay for her to post again.

Thanks... Post more soonish.

 

[PuppyLuver]

Ohhh. I see.

I really should rent it sometime, it sounds good... That doesn't mean I'll say no to some Never-Ending Soda, though. XD

I'll tell her!

 

[PuppyLuver]

NOTICE!

I've noticed that I've really let this story grow dust/mold/other signs of stagnation all over it. I'm changing that. Expect a new chapter sometime before Christmas, at best.

 

[The Count]

*Smile. Good, we needed an update. And you'll note this, along with other works of wonderful fiction are in the library index thread... A handy one-stop place to find most fave fics.

 

[PuppyLuver]

PuppyLuver Studios presents

The Scoop of the Century

Chapter 8: Piece of Cake!

Augh, no! Mirror room! I hate mirror rooms!

At least, I hate mirror rooms in video games.

Before you ask about Misty’s first line in this chapter, no, I have never seen Fight Club. I’m just continuing that oh-so-overused joke.

Dang! I really need to update more often.

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“Web! Where are you, Web?”

“Yo, Misty! If you can hear us, give us a shout-out!”

“Mimi!” “Lil miss! Where’d yeh go?”

“Are you out there, Jess?”

Cries similar to these cried out from the outer parts of the Labyrinth. The group had been split, which was not good at all. It was always best for a large group to stay together in the Labyrinth, but sometimes these things just can’t be helped. Well, I could bring the group back together real quick, but that would make for a really crappy story. Anyways, four of the group’s members had found themselves in a dark underground pit...

“Ugh, my head...” Jess muttered. “Who had the bright idea to drop us down here...?” Mimi, always the tattletale, pointed at Misty. Jess sighed. “Okay, Misty,” she said, “first rule of the Labyrinth...”

“Don’t talk about the Labyrinth?”

“No. Don’t get cocky. Once you think it’s getting really easy... WHAM! Something unexpected and really, really bad happens. You learn to see these things coming after you’ve seen the movie a few dozen times...”

Mimi tilted her head like a confused puppy. “Wait, does that mean you’re an obsessed Bowie fan, too?” she asked.

Jess scoffed. “Heck no!” she protested. “I’m a MuppetNut. Huge difference.”

“That’s great,” Web said, “but do you know where we are?” They all looked around. There was seemingly nothing in the room but the darkness surrounding them. And not the warm kind of darkness, like the bedroom of a scared child’s parents. It was the creepy kind of darkness, the kind you imagine hideous beasts crawling out of or the kind in which you could easily stub your toe on something because your visibility is limited. Suddenly, two bright lights shone in their direction, temporarily blinding them. “Alright,” said a voice accompanying the lights, “who got cocky? Who’s the one who said something was a piece of c-a-k-letter-that-begins-the-word-elephant?”

Mimi, always the tattletale, pointed at Misty again. “Hey!” shouted Misty. “That’s getting out of hand!” As the girls’ eyes adjusted to the sudden bright lights, they saw the lights were Dimentio’s glowing eyes. The rest of Dimentio was assumed to be there. “Misty...” Dimentio sighed. “Don’t you know the first rule of the Labyrinth?”

“Yeah, I know, don’t get cocky,” Misty said in a somewhat irritated tone.

“Actually, it’s ‘don’t talk about the Labyrinth’, but ‘don’t get cocky’ is another good one,” Dimentio replied. He looked around. “Wow. When it comes to oubliettes, Jareth has really outdone himself with this one...” He soon focused on one particular part of the wall, as if it had some significance. “Aha!” he exclaimed. He drew a rectangular shape on the wall with his hand, which then glowed and turned into a door. The five of them went through the door very hastily.

As they made their way through the underground tunnels, Web developed a burning curiosity about the seemingly evil jester. If Dimentio was so evil, why did he seem to care about them? Was he just hiding his feelings about the rest of the group, like Paul from the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl anime? She decided to ask him. As they came to a turn in the tunnel, she approached Dimentio, who was easy to make out because his eyes were still lit up to guide their way. “Uh, Dimentio?” Web asked. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just asked one, but I can handle another,” Dimentio replied.

“Well, it’s just... everyone says you’re so evil, yet you came to look for us...” She couldn’t seem to find the right words. “Maybe... maybe you’re not so bad as everyone thinks?”

Dimentio laughed. “I didn’t come looking,” he said. “I knew exactly where you were! You can hardly call that coming to look for you. Of course, I didn’t know exactly who fell into the oubliette, I just knew someone did.” He looked around for another entryway. “Besides, I couldn’t just leave you in a nasty hole to rot...”

“You couldn’t...?” Maybe he does care... Web thought to herself.

“Of course not!” he replied. “You’re holding the Water Orb, you know. Can’t let that little bugger get away, now can we?”

Or maybe not. She shook her head in disbelief.

“Hey guys,” Misty said suddenly. “Look up ahead... I think I see myself in that room!”

She was half right. The room up ahead was a maze with walls completely made out of reflective glass. “Daah, crap,” Jess muttered. “It’s a mirror room. The bane of all videogame lovers.” She shrugged her shoulders, getting herself loosened in preparation for what she was about to do. “Okay, here I go. Sneaky maneuver coming right up.” All of a sudden, Jess began to change. She seemed to become more like smoke than a human girl, though her physique was changing to that of a full-grown woman. Her eyes darkened until they became pure black, her hair (which had by this point become the same color as every member of the Weasley family) lengthening and becoming the same color as her face, which was a sandy color. Her neck down was a dark gray color, smoky wisps near where her feet should be. “Alright!” Jess exclaimed, sounding more like a female version of the anime representation of Darkrai than herself. “I haven’t used Shade in a while, time to brush up on my ghost-like charms!” She walked straight through the mirror, giggling.

Dimentio scoffed angrily. “Cheater!” He turned to the other three. “Alright, for those of you who can’t shapeshift into a ghost-lady and walk through walls, follow me.”

“Wait a minute!” Misty shouted. “Why should we follow you? Who’s to say that you weren’t just being nice earlier because Jess was around? You could be leading us to our deaths! Or worse!”

“Hmm, let me think about that. What would I have to gain by betraying you?” Dimentio said sarcastically. “Oh, I know. Absolutely diddly-squat. Now come on, let’s go.” He led them down the left path, using his ability to light his eyes as a guide as to where they should go by checking reflections.

------------------

“Oh... what should I put now...?” a teenage girl sitting at her computer moaned. She sat in her Wii logo print shorts and 1-up shirt and pondered the outcome of the story. “Should I detail how they get through the maze? Maybe... cut to another group of characters...?” This was one of the most difficult decisions she had had to make recently. She had already set herself a deadline and she wanted to meet—no, exceed it. “Ah, screw this,” she finally mumbled. She decided to go ahead and get the mini-group to the end of the maze.

------------------

“Wow, that was quicker than I thought it would be!” Web said, surprised. They had finally gotten through the maze and had entered a forest-like area. Nearby, Jess was sitting in a lawn chair(one suspected she had transformed it from a log or something) drinking some sort of drink out of a blue-lidded Pokémon cup with a straw. Her hair was now an orange-blonde. “What took you guys so long?” she asked, sipping at her drink.

“We decided not to cheat,” Dimentio replied. “By the way, I like what you’ve done with your hair. It’s very eye-catching.”

Jess waggled her finger at him. “Butt-kissery will get you nowhere, Ziggy Crapforbrains,” she said tauntingly.

“Uh, Jess... I don’t think he meant it like that... your hair does look different...”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Jess looked in one of the mirrors from the maze... and screamed. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! What’s going on? I’m not a blonde! Have I been out in the sun too long? What’s happening to meeeeeee?”

“Maybe it’s the same thing that’s been happening to Stardust...?” Web suggested. Suddenly, a noise rang out through the trees. A sort of rhythmic, clicking noise. It was almost as if someone was trying to start a beat for a song... “What’s that sound...?”

Dimentio looked like he was going to be sick. “Oh no, it’s these crackpots...” he moaned. “Let’s just get out of here before—” Unfortunately, the “before” came sooner than he thought. A large, humanoid form with brilliant red fur around its neck and waist jumped from the thicket. It had a reptilian face and a long tail with a red tuft at the end. Four creatures similar to the first also appeared from behind the trees, all of them laughing madly for no apparent reason.

“Fireys!” Jess exclaimed. “Dorky McBowienut’s right, we should get out of here. Let’s use him as a meat shield so we can get past ‘em!”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Dimentio shouted. It was then that the Fireys spotted them. “Hey, look!” the lead Firey exclaimed. “It’s that purple guy!”

“I thought he’d never be back!” another one said happily.

“Oh crap.”

The Fireys made their way towards Dimentio. One of them knocked his head off and they started playing a game of soccer, their own heads occasionally falling off their necks and getting confused with one another. Meanwhile, another one of the Fireys had taking a liking to Web... or rather, was trying to take her head off as well. “Hey! Hey!” he said. “Her head don’t come off!”

“OF COURSE IT DOESN’T!” Web shouted, flailing her arms in an attempt to knock him off of her. Mimi had gathered more of her Rubees and Misty had found another beating stick(this time named Chihuahua). Jess was taking on another form, this time one of a woman with snow-white skin and hair, pointed ears and a blue outfit designed for colder weather. She blew away four of the Fireys with a blast of icy wind. Then she turned to the one holding Dimentio’s head. “Aw, man,” the Firey said. “That’s cold.”

“That’s the point,” Jess replied, freezing the Firey from head to toe and causing him to drop Dimentio’s head. She laughed. “Oh yeah! I’m so awesome!”

Soon, Dimentio’s body had found his head and placed it back where it belonged. “Thank you,” Dimentio said, “but I could’ve handled it myself. You needn’t have bothered.”

“Yeah, sure you did,” Jess laughed. “What were you gonna do, nibble their fingers off?”

“As a matter of fact, I was.”

They kept moving. As they approached a particularly wall, Jess started to fall behind. “Guys, wait up...” she said weakly. “I need to rest... it’s too hot...”

“What are you talking about?” Mimi asked. “It’s, like, 50 degrees! It’s not that hot, is it?”

“The form she’s in at the moment must be really sensitive to heat...” Web thought aloud. At that moment, Jess collapsed, instantly changing back to her normal self. “What the...?” She tried changing back into her ice-woman form, but was only able to hold it for about five seconds. The second time she tried, she didn’t even change her hair color(which was still blonde form earlier). “What... what’s happening to me?” she cried. “I can’t even morph anymore?”

They didn’t have any time to think about the situation, for at that moment a long rope dropped form the top of the wall. “Grab it!” a voice said. They did, and when they did, the rope was pulled by what felt like eleven people. When they reached the top, they realized the voice had belonged to Kikit. Apparently, the Electric Mayhem and Errol had been passing overhead. “Web!” Errol cried. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Web said. “Come on, let’s get going!”

They started walking along the top of the wall. As they did, the wall started to take on a slight downward incline. The incline became steeper and steeper, the group picking up speed as they continued downward. Eventually, in classic comedy style, one of them tripped and knocked everyone else over and they all rolled down the hill, running into the rest of the Orb Retrievers along the way. “That was... anticlimactic...” Miss Piggy moaned.

“Everyone, look...” Dimentio directed their attention to the looming gate before them. “We’re here.”

 

[The Count]

Yaey! Updateishness!

Oh, is that what Darkrigh would be like? *Swoons over Jess's ghost lady form. Shade huh? Would've tossed a Shadow Ball instead. Ice lady... Did she use Blizzard or Ice Beam? Ju have Wii? *Would love to have vision back to play the new addition of what used to be my gaming addiction... Mega Man 9! *Flies in disappearing saucer so as to snatch Jes away and glomp her. Now please... Post more?

*Leaves the Pharoah Shot equipped, lets it grow, has the sunball hovering above, then fires it off upwards as a great firework display.