PuppyLuver Studios presents
The Scoop of the Century
Epilogue
Yep, this is the end. I actually finished a story that I started. I’m so happy. I love you guys.
Wait! Don’t reply just yet! I’ve got a credits reel! Wait until that’s up, okay? Thank you.
I actually had half of this done before the previous two chapters were even thought up. Isn’t that hilarious? XD
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“The mysterious case of the ‘Hensonville Goblins’ has finally been solved. 40-year-old David Robert Jones confessed to the various acts of wanton destruction of public property, claiming to have multiple personality disorder.”
“I am so sorry for everything my other self did... I... I had no idea. He’s done some bad things before, but never... I swear, if I had known, I would’ve stopped him—er, myself—from doing it.”
“Jones was tried in court and was found not guilty due to temporary insanity. This is Web the Swallow, reporting live for Channel Five News.”
The TV was shut off. The news manager of Channel Five News(an old vulture) had reviewed the story Web and Errol had covered. “I’m proud of you kids,” he said. “Not only did you exceed my expectations, you also made it seem as if you were hard-core news professionals.” He stood up to shake their hands... wings... whatever... Gonzo... “Congrats, Web, Errol. You’ve done good.”
“Thank you, sir,” Web replied. Of course, the old vulture had no idea of the truth behind the story. The so-called “David Robert Jones” was really Dimentio in his human form. His lawyer had been Jareth, also in disguise. More than likely, the judge, jury and witnesses had been mind-controlled to clear the case. Hey, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.
The old vulture sat back down. “This next assignment probably won’t be as exciting,” he said. He rummaged around in his desk drawer and pulled something out. They were two all-access backstage passes to the next performance of The Muppet Show. “I wanna know how Kermit and his buds are doin’. Y’know, for the entertainment spot.” He winked. “Enjoy yourselves, kids. You earned it.”
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“Okay, Electric Mayhem on in five! Mayhem on in five!” Kermit called backstage. “Pepe, could you leave Jess alone for just one minute tonight?”
Pepe, a Spanish king prawn with a habit of flirting with any girl that came near him, had insisted on staying by Jess’s side for the whole of the show, much to the teenage shapeshifter’s annoyance. “Oh, señorita, jou are so lovely, okay,” he said to her. “Jour soft hair is like drizzling chocolate. Let’s do dinner sometime, okay? I know the best restaurant in town. Just remember, when I start singing like Ethel Merman, that’s our signal to run out the back, okay.”
“Look, shorty,” Jess replied irritably, “if you don’t stop with your lame pick-up lines, I’m gonna break out Mama’s recipe for shrimp tempura. And that’s not a threat, it’s a promise.”
“Okay... I see jou need some time to think it over,” he said as she stormed off. “Call me, okay!” He walked off to get ready for his number(which was on after the Mayhem), having the severely distorted notion that Jess was head over heels for him. “Hehe, she loves me, okay...”
Around that time, Web and Errol entered the Muppet Theater via the back way. Web made her way to where Kermit was working, lightly tapping him on the shoulder. “Not now, not now,” Kermit said, not paying attention to who was tapping him. “I’m a little busy at the moment.”
“Kermit, it’s us!” Web told him. “Me and Errol! We came to see tonight’s show.”
Kermit looked up and noticed who was tapping on his shoulder. “Oh! You made it!” he exclaimed happily. “How are you two?”
“We’re fine,” Errol said. “Thankfully, our boss bought the cover story for the ‘vandalizations’.” He winked. The twosome made their way to a spot where they could see the show clearly. At the moment, the Electric Mayhem were performing “Nutbush City Limits”, and they were doing a pretty good job of it. When the number ended, everyone watching stood and applauded.
“Absolutely not!” a familiar voice cried from the dressing rooms. “I refuse to perform anything with that thing! And especially not in this ridiculous get-up!” Web and Errol turned to see something special. Jess had somehow gotten Dimentio in a leopard-print outfit with high-heeled boots, complete with matching tail and cat ears. The two news birds also saw Mimi, O’Chunks and Nastasia peeking out of the cantina, laughing at Dimentio’s ridiculous outfit.
“Oh, come on,” Jess said, giggling. “If you’re gonna be here, the least you can do is make yourself useful. Stardust isn’t complaining.”
“Of course he’s not complaining! Stardust gets to be Amigo, the star! He doesn’t have to dress up as the one who’s always mistaken for a woman.”
“There you go, that makes Rio the perfect character for you.” Jess grinned from ear to ear. “And I forgot to mention... if you don’t go through with the number, we’ll get to find out what happens to Buddha of Suburbia when it’s places in the microwave. On high heat.” This immediately got Dimentio to shut up.
As the Mayhem came backstage, Fozzie pulled Misty aside. “What is it?” she asked.
“Remember right before we went in the Labyrinth and I told you the first part of a two-part joke?” Fozzie asked. “And how I’d tell you the second part when we got out?”
“Sure.”
“Well, here goes.” He cleared his throat and began part two. “This man was in an airplane with his dog. The man, he lights a cigar. The stewardess comes by and says ‘Sir, there’s no smoking on this plane.’ ‘Fair enough,’ the guy says. So he opens the window, and this was back when you could actually open the windows of an airplane, and tosses the cigar out. Naturally, the dog thinks it’s a stick and jumps out after it.”
“Oh my!”
“Yeah, yeah, and later these cops are looking around down on the ground and they see the dog. It’s dead, of course, but it has something in its mouth. What do you think was in the dog’s mouth?”
“The cigar?”
“A pink brick.”
Misty had never laughed so hard in her life. That joke was definitely worth the wait.
Later, Dimentio was shoved onstage for the next number. Stardust and Pepe were already there. “I should get paid for putting up with this crap...” he moaned. The music started as Pepe began to sing.
She's into superstitions, black cats and voodoo dolls
I feel a premonition that girl's gonna make me fall
She's into new sensations, new kicks in the candle light
She's got a new addiction for every day and night
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain
Like a bullet to your brain (come on!)
Upside, inside out she's livin' la vida loca
She'll push and pull you down, livin' la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha
She will wear you out livin' la vida loca (come on!)
Livin' la vida loca (come on!)
She's livin' la vida loca
Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel
She took my heart and she took my money
She must've slipped me a sleeping pill
She never drinks the water and makes you order French Champagne
Once you've had a taste of her you'll never be the same
Yeah, she'll make you go insane
Upside, inside out she's livin' la vida loca
She'll push and pull you down, livin' la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha
She will wear you out livin' la vida loca (come on!)
Livin' la vida loca (come on!)
She's livin' la vida loca
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain
Like a bullet to your brain (come on!)
Upside, inside out she's livin' la vida loca
She'll push and pull you down, livin' la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha
She will wear you out livin' la vida loca (come on!)
Livin' la vida loca (come on!)
She's livin' la vida loca
The applause was nearly deafening. “Thank you, thank you, gracias!” Pepe cried. He threw an index card into the audience. “Ladies, my number’s on that. Call me later, okay?”
Meanwhile, Mimi was getting ready for the closing number. She was wearing a pink long-sleeved jacket with a white shirt underneath, along with a blue skirt and black shorts, both lined at the bottom with white lace. “Do I look pretty, Nastasia?” she asked.
“Yeah, you look great,” Nastasia replied. “You’ll do wonderful out there.”
“But what if they don’t like me?”
“They will. And don’t forget, I’ll be out there too. Everyone will.”
Mimi smiled. She went out onstage, waiting for Kermit to introduce the closing number.
“And now,” Kermit addressed the audience, “we come to the end of yet another show—”
“Hope it’s the last one!” a voice shouted up from the balcony. Like clockwork, Statler and Waldorf were doing what they did best.
“Will you two cut that out?” Kermit shouted. “Really, if you don’t like the show, why do you bother coming?”
“We have nothing better to do,” Waldorf said.
“If we did, we sure wouldn’t be here!” Statler chimed in. They both laughed.
Kermit did his trademark “scrunchy-face”. “Anyway,” he continued, “we bring this particular show, which is not in any way the last one, to a close with this little beauty of a number. It starts off with a recently discovered performer, but everyone will be in on it by the end. Now here it is, DREAMS DREAMS.” He jumped behind the curtains real quick before they opened. Mimi was standing there, holding the microphone. As the instrumental opening for the song began, she felt the butterflies in her stomach. What if she messed up? What if she forgot the words? She turned to see Nastasia giving her a thumbs-up. That was all the encouragement she needed. Mimi began to sing right on her cue.
“In a dream I could see you are not far away
Anytime, anyplace, I can see your face
You are that special one that I've been waiting for
And I hope you're looking for someone like me”
“In my dreams,” Nastasia joined in, “I can hear you call on me
In the night, everything's so sweet
In your eyes, I feel there's so much inside” The two sang together.
“In the nights, dream delight
I want to see you standing there
In the nights, dream delight
I've found someone who really cares
In the nights, dream delight
I want to see you smile again
In the nights, dream delight
You're the one I've waited for”
Another instrumental bit, then little Robin sang the next verse. “In a dream we can do everything we want to
There's nowhere I'd rather be but here with you
The stars above light the way only for you and I
I'm so glad I've found the one that I've been looking for”
“Keep the dream,” Kermit sang, “of the one you're hoping for
Love can come through an open door
Just be strong and you're sure to find
The one, the one, the one, the one” Then everyone joined in.
In the nights, dream delight
I want to see you standing there
In the nights, dream delight
I've found someone who really cares
In the nights, dream delight
I want to see you smile again
In the nights, dream delight
You're the one I've waited for
In the nights, dream delight
I want to see you standing there
In the nights... I've found someone who really cares
In the nights... I want to see you smile again
In the nights... you're the one I waited for
In the night... delight
You and me, we could be together forever
In the nights... delight
Baby, baby, baby, oh woh, yeah, yeah
In the nights, dream delight
I found someone, I found my love in the night
In that dream with you girl
You're the one I waited for
I dream, I dream, I dream, I dream, and you know...
And so the show ended with uproarious applause. The performance of DREAMS DREAMS brought down the house. And with the show coming to a close, so does our story. But don’t be sad. All good stories must come to an end eventually, and there will always be beginnings to new, better stories just around the corner.
We may part for now, but only because this story has ended. Just as sure as all fish swim and most birds fly, we will meet again. I may have new stories for you, or you may have a story you wish to share with me. One thing’s for sure, the cycle of storytelling and the conclusions of stories told will continue till the end of time.
~THE END~