PuppyLuver Studios presents
The Scoop of the Century
Chapter 6: Spirits in the Bluegrass
SHAMELESS SELF-INSERT IN THIS CHAPTER. FWAHAHA.
I wonder what would happen if I threw a hotdog at one of you guys...
Would you eat it?
There’s really no Chestnut City in Kentucky. I just don’t want to say my real town’s name.
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“Aww, you’re leaving already?”
It was morning, and the Orb Retrievers had gotten up bright and early to leave for the next world. The citizens of Free Country were sad to see them go, but they knew the group had a job to do. “Sorry, but we have to go now,” Kermit said. “We still have to meet Dimentio’s friend.”
“Yes, and she doesn’t like to be kept waiting so long,” Dimentio told them.
“Alright then,” Shooting Star said. “But me and Homestar are coming with you.”
“We awe?” Homestar asked. Shooting Star lightly kicked him in the knee. “Oh yeah, we awe! We’we coming too!”
“Are you sure?” Web asked the running siblings. “It could be dangerous...”
“Of course! Can’t let you guys have all the fun, now can we? Plus, I haven’t been able to get Homestar out of the house since we bought NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams.”
So it was decided. Two more members had been added to the already large number of Orb Retrievers. Everyone said their goodbyes and when they were done, Dimentio warped the group to the next world.
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The Orb Retrievers arrived at the beginning of a long road. Everyone in the group had been changed to their human forms again, though without the drastic outfit change. Stardust, Homestar and Shooting Star hadn’t had a human form before, and they were busy examining various aspects of their new forms. Stardust repeatedly removed and replaced his jewel-shaped tinted glasses. Homestar was marveling over the thick appendages at his sides(arms) and Shooting Star was holding locks of her pink hair in her fingers, which were now tipped in platinum blonde. “So, where are we now?” Errol finally asked.
“We’re just outside the town of Chestnut City in the state of Kentucky,” Dimentio replied. Nastasia shrieked as a long, pink slimy thing brushed against her cheek. “Ah, I see Nasty has met some of the locals!”
“Moo,” said the cow that was licking Nastasia’s face.
“Ugh, gross! No telling where that tongue’s been!” Nastasia wiped her face. Two more cows made their way to the fence line, now interested in the newcomers. “Yeah, so this person lives on a farm?”
“No,” Dimentio said, pointing to a house in front of them. “She lives there.” The house had one floor and looked reasonably well taken care of. There was a flowerbed in front, though as it was cold outside, the flowers were not in bloom yet. There was an average-sized backyard with an old swing set. Barking could be heard from behind the house. “Oh, shut up, you stupid mutt!” Dimentio shouted in response to the barking. The group then made their way to the house. Dimentio knocked on the door. They waited. A crash could be heard from inside, then heavy footsteps that sounded hurried. Something heavy through itself against the door.
“WHO DARES DISTURB MY PEACE?” a booming voice from inside shouted.
“It’s Dimentio,” the jester replied. “Open up!”
“HA!” the voice laughed. “IF YOU REALLY ARE DIMENTIO, THEN YOU’D KNOW THE SECRET PASSWORD!”
“What secret password? I don’t recall anything about a secret password!”
“I... COULD HAVE MADE IT UP WHILE YOU WERE GONE!”
“Then how would I know it?”
“... Good point.” Two clicks could be heard beyond the door, possibly signifying that whoever was behind it was unlocking it. The door opened and a teenage girl with brown hair and glasses came into view. “Hey, Dimmie!” the girl exclaimed. “Sorry about that whole password dealie. There’s been some creeps roaming the street lately and I wanted to make sure it was really you.”
Mimi rushed up to the girl and hugged her around the waist. “Jess!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t know we were gonna visit you on our trip!”
“Hey, Mimi! Long time, no see!”
“Everyone who hasn’t met her already, this is Jess,” Dimentio said. “She’s the author of this stor—” He got slapped in the face. “I mean, she’s got the Spirit Orb for us.”
“Why don’t you guys come in?” Jess asked. “No point in standing out in the cold forever.” The entire group made their way into Jess’s warm house. The radio was on, playing Tiny Dancer by Elton John. This caused Dimentio great mental torment, so Jess cranked the volume up as high as it would go. “I like to torture him,” she said.
“So I see,” Web replied. She looked around. The house seemed so... ordinary. There was a couch in the living room in front of a TV and a kitchen farther in. There was a half-eaten chocolate cake on the table. Dr Teeth was making his way towards the cake, though Nurse Tongues was doing her best to hold him back.
“Yo, Teeth!” Jess shouted. “Step away from the cake!”
“Ah, nuts.”
“Um, where exactly is the Orb that’s supposed to be here, anyway?” Web asked. “I mean, no offense, but your house seems so normal.”
Jess’s smile suddenly broadened, giving everyone the freaky impression of a female brunette Dimentio. “I thought you’d never ask.” She went down the hall, but peeked around the wall for a little while. “If anyone wants to see something cool, follow me,” she told the group. They all followed her to her bedroom, which was a far cry from the rest of the house. Whereas the rest of the house had off-white painted walls, her room was painted in pink and purple. Clothes were strewn about the floor. There was another TV in her room, though this one was smaller and had a long, thin bar on top. Looking at the shelf beside the TV would provide the answer to the bar: a Nintendo Wii sat in its fancy stand on the shelf closest to eye level. The bed was, simply put, taken over by Pokémon, as evidenced by the Pikachu and Jigglypuff pillows, the Pokémon pillowcases and the Pokémon bedspread. Various posters adorned the pink and purple walls, mostly featuring Pokémon and other video games, though one had a group of multiple breeds of puppies. There was a Pikachu “Got Milk?” advertisement on the door that looked like it had been ripped right from a magazine and down below, a caricature of Jess playing Donkey Kong. “Okay guys, watch this,” Jess said. She placed her hand on the section of wall between her bedroom door and her closet door, under the light switch. She closed her eyes tightly in concentration. Soon, the wall began to change into a more fluid-like form; eventually a section of it literally melted onto the floor. Behind the part that had melted away, an orchid-colored sphere lay. Inside was a lilac pinpoint of light spinning around, closely being followed by a deep purple pinpoint that seemed to absorb light.
“The Spirit Orb!” someone exclaimed. Dimentio picked it up, smiling. Everyone(except for Count Bleck’s former minions) stared at Jess in awe. “How... how did you do that?” Web asked.
“Molecular manipulation,” Jess stated proudly. “It’s my special ability. I can rearrange the structure of objects on a subatomic level, though it’s easier when I just do it to myself. So, in a sense, I’m a shapeshifter with a little extra.”
“Thank you, Jess,” Dimentio said, patting Jess on the head. “For this, I take back... thirteen percent of anything bad I’ve ever said to you.”
Since getting this Orb had been so easy(and Jess had complained that she was lonely), the group decided to stick around for a bit. Homestar and Shooting Star decided to play NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams in 2-player mode, with Homestar as NiGHTS and Shooting Star as Reala. Jess was watching Misty play WarioWare: Touched!. She had lent Misty her collectable Dialga DS stylus, since the Pepper daughter had lost her own stylus. “While you kiddies play games,” Dimentio said, “I’ll be catching up on my reading.” He pulled a copy of Return to Labyrinth volume 2 out of thin air and opened it. However, it was soon snatched out of his grasp by O’Chunks’ meaty hands.
“Gwar har har! And yeh always say yer the mature one!” O’Chunks laughed, holding the graphic novel above Dimentio’s head. “This be a comic book! A children’s book!”
But as always, Dimentio had a smart remark to come back with. “Well then, I guess it’s too advanced for the likes of you,” he said, snatching the book back.
“Whatcha sayin’?” O’Chunks shouted. “That I ain’t smarter than a wee child?”
“No,” Dimentio replied, smiling. “What I am saying to you is that you are the kind of club-toting, raw-meat-eating, Me-Tarzan-You-Jane-ing big bald bubblehead that can only count to ten if he's barefoot or wearing sandals.” Jess cracked up at this, though O’Chunks just stared in confusion. Suddenly, there was a loud noise. A loud, crunching, that-does-NOT-sound-good noise. “Oh man,” Stardust said, in plain English. “This is just like what happened back in Pastoria City before it got eaten...”
“You mean the Pokémon world’s gone? That explains why my Pokémon games haven’t worked...”
“We have to get out of here,” Dimentio said. “NOW.”
The Orb Retrievers didn’t waste any time. They all ran as quick as they could towards the front door, bumping into each other repeatedly. Jess had to double back to get her hat, but they all made it out of the house in time. This time, however, they could clearly see what was causing the destruction. In the midst of the black nothingness that was slowly seeping into this world were a pair of black, soulless eyes and a glowing red jewel.
Can you feel the sunshine?
Does it brighten up your day...?
“Oh my gosh,” Jess said in a low whisper, her eyes widened in fear. “It... it can’t be... not...”
They had all been transported to the next world seconds before the darkness crept to where they were standing.
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