The Scoop of the Century

[The Count]

Yay! Update! Poodle, no! Orbs of 5... Go get 'em Kermit! And I love this... More must post you!

 

[PuppyLuver]

I will most likely post more soon... I am on such a roll with this story now! I'm halfway(if not more) done with chapter 4 already! 8D

I wonder if anyone really gets the reference of Poodle the Beating Stick...

 

[PuppyLuver]

PuppyLuver Studios presents

The Scoop of the Century

Chapter 4: The Underground

Now the fun really begins!

If you don’t like Pokémon, I suggest you either not read this chapter or get over it.

The Pokémon Sableye really does eat rocks and such. No lie. I got this from Bulbapedia.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll outright tell you the species name of each important Pokémon that comes along.

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“So, what’s the plan, man?”

“I’ve already stated the plan ten times. We discover where the Earth and Wind Orbs are located, retrieve the Spirit Orb from the person keeping it for me, take the Fire Orb from Jareth and I’ll figure out something from there.”

“Why don’t we go get the Spirit Orb first?”

“Because then giving it to her to hide it would serve no purpose! I trust she can keep it hidden from any potential thieves.”

“Her? Who is she? Is she your girlfriend?”

“Luna has the Spirit Orb? Cool. I liked Luna when I met her.”

“No, Luna does not have it. Besides, she’s no longer my girlfriend.”

“What, you dumped her or she dumped you?”

“We got married in January. She’s my wife now.”

“Oh.”

Everyone in the Muppet Boarding House was discussing how to find the Orbs that Dimentio had mentioned. The only problem was, most of the ones there were Muppets, who are seemingly genetically programmed to always imply the “wing it” strategy when trying to save the day. Four of the group were former villains(not so sure about Dimentio counting as a “former” villain), who hadn’t had much experience saving anything. Just then, someone’s cellphone rang. The ringtone sounded suspiciously like David Bowie’s “Modern Love”. “Sorry, that’s mine,” Dimentio muttered, pulling out a purple-n-yellow flip phone. “I have to take this.” He left the room to converse with the caller.

“So now what?” Gonzo, the resident weirdo, asked.

“Um, I guess we just wait until we find one of the Orbs,” Nastasia replied.

“We could get Orbulon,” Zoot suggested, much to the amusement of Fozzie Bear(“Orbulon... Orbs... Ahh! Fun-ny!”). It wasn’t long, however, before Dimentio returned to the room they were planning in.

“Good news, everyone!” he exclaimed. “One of my acquaintances in another world has located an Orb. If we leave now, we can get that Orb by lunchtime!”

This pleased many of them(especially Dr Teeth, who liked getting his meals on time). So they prepared to leave. It was difficult deciding who should come to retrieve the Orb and who should stay at the boarding house. Those who would cause distractions easily(such as Crazy Harry and Lew Zealand) were banned from going first and foremost. Then there were those who would lower morale of the Orb Retrievers, as they had named themselves(such as Statler and Waldorf). There were also a select few who declined on their own accord(such as The Swedish Chef and Sam the Eagle, the latter deciding it would be more patriotic to defend the home front). Eventually, the group was narrowed down to the following: Kermit, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, the entire Electric Mayhem counting Misty and the Fer Sure Four, Rowlf the Dog, Bunsen and Beaker, Rizzo the Rat, Web, Errol, Mimi, Nastasia, O’Chunks and, of course, Dimentio. Granted, this was still a large group that would attract attention, but it was the best they could do.

“So how are we getting there?” Misty asked. “The Mayhem bus?”

“No way, no how!” Dr Teeth exclaimed. “Ain’t no way we’re all gonna fit in there!”

“The good doctor’s right,” Dimentio added. “O’Chunks would take up half the volume of the bus as it is. No, it looks like the only way is a direct teleport.”

Web stared at Dimentio. “Can you do that?” she asked.

The Bowie freak smiled broadly. “Of course!” he exclaimed with pride. “I once transported the entire Koopa Troop all the way from Castle Bleck to the Bitlands! Trust me, that’s a very long distance to transport a few hundred dim-witted soldiers. The dimension we’re seeking isn’t that far, plus there’s less of us.”

“If you know what you’re doing...”

“I always do.” Dimentio then snapped his fingers and in an instant, they all vanished from Bronson Lane.

------------------

“Here we are! Glorious Pastoria City, home of the Great Marsh, Sinnoh’s answer to the Safari Zone of Kanto. A marvelous place if you don’t mind getting a little wet!”

They had arrived at their destination. Pastoria City was a bit damp; other than that, it was beautiful. It was a seaside city, two boats being parked in the water near the shoreline. None of the citizens of the city had seemed to notice that a bunch of strange creatures had appeared out of thin air, which was good. Web and Errol looked around at the group to see that everyone, themselves included, had changed in appearance. First of all, they were no longer frogs and bears and whatevers anymore. They were all human. Well, except for Gonzo, but he could pass off as a perfectly normal human if not for the pointed ears and the lack of pupils in his now-icy blue eyes, lack of nose and lack of two fingers on each hand. Secondly, their outfits had changed slightly, most of them sporting a similar motif on their apparel. Each of them had at least one red and white sphere with a button in the middle. “Where the heck did you send us?” Errol shouted.

“I told you,” Dimentio said coolly. “This is Pastoria City. We’re in the Pokémon world, lamebrain. Honestly, have you never picked up a Nintendo DS? Have you never even played a Game Boy Advance or the archaic Game Boy Color?”

“Pokémon world?” Mimi exclaimed. “That means...” She threw one of her spheres into the air and it opened, revealing the same spider-like creature from the video game she had been playing last night. “Charlotte! Buddy!” Mimi hugged the spider-creature, apparently named Charlotte. Charlotte is a Spinarak, by the way.

While those in the group who were familiar to the Pokémon universe brought out their Pokémon, Dimentio stared at Nastasia’s midriff, which for some reason was exposed in this world. “Yeah, what’s the matter, Dimentio?” Nastasia asked him. “Are you admiring my figure?”

“Yes,” he said plainly. Then he laughed and playfully slapped Nastasia on the back. “You should be proud of yourself, Nasty! Men like women with a little meat on their bones!” This prompted a kick in the face, courtesy of Nastasia.

“You keep that up and you’ll spend the rest of your life under the impression that you’re a six-year-old girl, ‘kay?”

“Aww, you would do that?”

“I’ll have Mimi braid your hair. It’s certainly long enough in this world.”

It was true. Dimentio’s human incarnation had waist-length hair held back in a ponytail and colored like his mask, which had translated itself in this world as the colors of his skin. Web laughed. Then, as she released the Pokémon occupying the sphere, called a Pokéball, she was holding, she asked, “So where’s the person who told you to come here?”

“Well, he’s not a person per se,” Dimentio replied, watching a Swellow(a fairly large swallow-like Pokémon) emerge from Web’s Pokéball. “He’s over there.” He pointed to a short, purple Pokémon, its skin embedded with jewels. “Stardust!” Dimentio cried. “We’re here!”

The purple Pokémon, a Sableye, turned its head at these words. Its right eye was a pale blue jewel. but its left eye was a disgusting shade of brown and had a huge crack in the center. As soon as it noticed Dimentio’s presence, it rushed over to greet him. “Hey, buddy,” it said in a strange language that could only truly be understood by other Pokémon. “What took ya so long?”

“Hello, Stardust. Good to see you.” Dimentio picked up the Sableye and hugged it. “Everyone, this is Stardust, my Sableye.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Stardust said to the group. They all said hello back. He turned to Dimentio. “So, you said to tell you if I found anything weirder than usual.”

“Yes,” Dimentio replied. “Could you tell me now?”

“I don’t give out important info without my snack.”

Dimentio sighed. “Alright,” he muttered. He reached into the bag that had mysteriously appeared at his side when they first arrived to this world. After digging around for a few second, Dimentio pulled a sparkling purple crystal out of the bag.

Stardust looked at the crystal with an expression of both delight and hunger. “Amethyst!” he exclaimed. “My favorite! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” Dimentio tossed the amethyst to Stardust, who ate it greedily. Some of the Muppets-now-humans in the group stared in puzzlement, though Dimentio would later explain that Sableyes were lithovores, meaning they ate rocks and minerals. “Okay!” Stardust exclaimed after devouring the amethyst. “Now, about the Orb. I had it... but I hid it. I hid it in the Underground.”

“The Underground?” Dimentio exclaimed. “You mean you hid a powerful magical object where just any buffoon could pick it up?”

“What’s the Underground?” Kermit asked. “Sorry, but I really haven’t played any Pokémon games.”

“The Underground is a not-so-secret tunnel network beneath Sinnoh. People go there to dig for treasure or to make their own Secret Base,” Gonzo explained. Everyone stared at him. “What? I can’t help it that I like Pokémon!”

“Yeah... that pretty much sums it up,” Nastasia said. “But it’s hard to find anything you leave in there unless you know exactly where you left it.”

“But I do know where I left it!” Stardust exclaimed. He grabbed the bag Dimentio was carrying and pulled out a map. On one side was a map to the world they were in, but on the reverse was a seemingly crudely-drawn map of a network of tunnels, marked randomly with keys as to where certain points of the tunnels could be accessed from above ground. Stardust pointed a purple claw to the letter “J” on the map, which was keyed as “Pastoria City Entrance”. “I buried it in the left-hand dead end near the Pastoria entrance!” he said proudly.

“Well, if you’re sure...” Dimentio pulled a shovel out of his bag, along with a pickaxe and a mallet. “Looks like we dig.”

------------------

A few minutes of digging later, the group pushed through the surface and dropped down into the Underground. It was quite different from the surface; whereas Pastoria City was sunny and green, the Underground was dark and dank, yet seemingly teeming with life, even if the life it was teeming with was a little on the seedy side. “All right, everyone, here’s how this is going to work,” Dimentio told them. He thrust a number of pickaxes and mallets onto the ground. “We all know we’re going after the Orb, but there are a plethora of other kinds of objects buried in these walls. Anything you find, you keep. That means Spheres, Plates, fossils, evolution stones, anything. Though if you’re willing to part with any Prism Spheres you collect, could I have them? I’m running a bit low.”

“Um... what are Spheres?” Web asked.

“Currency of the Underground,” Nastasia told her.

“Oh.”

And so the excavation began. The process was a bit slow going, as Stardust kept eating the rocks instead of actually digging, and a few of the girls regularly complained about broken nails. Once or twice a section of the tunnel wall collapsed, though an Underground Merchant nearby explained that this was a common occurrence and was nothing to worry about. After about an hour, the group was starting to get discouraged. “This be POINTLESS!” O’Chunks shouted, throwing down the mallet he was using. “There ain’t nothin’ here!”

“O’Chunks is right,” whined Miss Piggy. “We would have found it by now.”

Stardust panicked. “B-but... I know I left it here! I’m sure of it!”

“All that’s here is a mess o’ dirt!” O’Chunks punched the wall in anger, knocking down a number of loose dirt clods. One of the larger dirt clods bounced on Stardust’s head, then landed on the ground and began to spin wildly.

“Is that... normal for this world?” asked Kermit, the green hair of his human form speckled with dirt.

“No...” Dimentio replied. “Even in Sinnoh, lumps of soil don’t just spin on their own...”

The spinning dirt clod started to glow, rounding itself out and shedding its soil camouflage. When it stopped spinning, it was no longer a meager lump of moist soil, but instead it was a golden-colored glass orb, with miniature boulders suspended inside. They had found the Earth Orb.

Stardust, at the revelation that he was proven to not be a complete idiot, grinned happily in a manner that, if he painted his face white and his eyes black, you could easily mistake him for Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas. “See, I told you it was here! I never lie! ... Well, hardly.”

Web laughed in delight and picked up the Earth Orb. She held up both the Orbs they had in one hand. “Hooray! We have two of the Elemental Orbs!” she exclaimed.

Dimentio noticed her “victory pose”. “Hey, careful with those--!” But it was a tad too late. The Water and Earth Orbs, upon direct contact, created a torrent of extremely runny mud, which swept them all out of the tunnel and, due to high pressure, pushed them through the surface. The citizens of Pastoria City then notified the city’s waste management authorities, under the impression that the sewage system had malfunctioned. After surfacing, Dimentio shook the loose mud out of his hair and shouted at Web. “THOSE THINGS ARE UNSTABLE!” he yelled. “If you don’t take care with what you do with the Orbs, it could be even worse than what we’re up against!” At this point, Mimi raised her hand to ask a question. Dimentio sighed, then said, “Yes, Mimi, what is it?”

“What exactly are we up against?” she asked.

“Good question,” replied Dimentio. “I’m not entirely sure myself. All I know is that there’s a force similar to the Void that’s, for a lack of a better description, eating universes. The other day, I transported to the former location of Perim and... there was nothing.” He sighed. “To think, Major Tom and Kid Chaor’s eternal playground is no more... Oh well. If we succeed in this, that world and any others that have been destroyed will be restored, like the Sammer Kingdom after the Void was dissolved!”

“So... worlds have already been destroyed?”

“Uh, yes. Were you not listening?” At this point, Dimentio’s cellphone rang again. After taking the call, he turned to the group with a smile. “Good news, everyone! Another Orb has been found! We’re pretty lucky with this, it seems.”

“Yeah,” Nastasia muttered, wiping mud off her face. “Lucky and mucky.”

“I heard that.” Dimentio picked up the two Orbs they had, which had been separated after the “muddy geyser” incident. “Since the Orbs are so unstable, I think it would make sense that they aren’t kept by one person. Web and Errol, you keep the Water Orb, as you found it first.” He tossed the Water Orb to Errol, who caught it. “Chunks-for-brains can keep the Earth Orb, as its rocky interior matches his hard head.” He threw the Earth Orb to O’Chunks, who nearly dropped it. “Now that that’s taken care of... onward! To the next universe and the next Orb!” With that, they disappeared.

It’s a good thing they left when they did, otherwise they would have fallen prey to the rest of Sinnoh’s fate. Soon after they left, the entire landscape of Pastoria City and beyond were dissolved into black nothingness. All that could be seen afterward was a pair of black, soulless eyes and a glowing red jewel. All that was heard was a song...

Can you feel the sunshine?

Does it brighten up your day...?

 

[The Count]

Yay! Cinno! Earth Orb! Oh, I love this... BTW: Stardust, that's a Bowie reference? Of course it is... It goes with the boatload of Ziggy cards the Hallmark Channel/Company owe Hillary for cutting off her town hall meeting at the last second.

Chaotic... Gone? And Cinno too? Nooooo!
Wonder where the next dimension will be. If it's to be Althea or Domino City/Duel Academy Island, LMK as I can help you with those franchises.

Post more please!

 

[PuppyLuver]

Yes, Stardust is a Bowie reference. In the Pokemon world, Dimentio has all his Pokemon nicknamed in a way that references David bowie(except for his Spiritomb, named Void). Stardust's eye is broken due to a nasty encounter with a Seviper. Maddie'll get that one.

Sadly, Chaotic is the only 4Kids TV universe that will even be mentioned in this story. I just wanted to sneak in the Bowie reference that is Tom Majors. XD

To anyone who's ever played Sonic R... you should be getting a clue as to who(or what) is the main antagonist in this story.

 

[The Count]

Thanks. *Weeps. Though I'm not familiar with that rivalry, I do know that Zangoose and Seviper have been hunting each other for generations.

BTW: There's a Yin-Yang-Yo/Muppets in DB mode fic brewing in me mind... Not sure when that one'll come to life though as I'm booked for a major chunk of the year already.

 

[ZootyCutie]

All right! ^_^ Nice one, Jess!

 

[PuppyLuver]

Thanks!

 

[PuppyLuver]

PuppyLuver Studios presents

The Scoop of the Century

Chapter 5: A Storm Is Brewing

I was listening to the Windy Valley BGMs from Sonic Adventure for inspiration. It makes sense!

Bubs’ basement doubles as a very effective storm shelter.

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The Orb Retrievers had arrived at their destination. They were in the middle of a field, with green grass and blue skies and some hills in the background. Those in the group who were not originally human(which was most of them) were returned to their original forms, though they looked more stylized. “Well, here we are,” Dimentio said. “Free Country, USA. Home to the biggest idiot in all the known universes... besides O’Chunks, of course.”

“HEY!”

“I’m just telling it like it is,” Dimentio replied. He looked around. “That’s odd, he should be here...”

“Who should be here?” Web asked.

“Strong Sad. He said he found one of the Orbs, but...” At that point, something appeared from under Dimentio’s cloak. It was small and purple, with jeweled eyes. “Stardust!” the jester exclaimed. “What are you doing under there?”

Stardust jumped down to the ground. “What’s it look like, Dimentio? I’m coming with you guys!”

“No way! It’s too dangerous!” Dimentio shouted. “I’m sending you back right now!”

“Eh heh heh, problem with that...” Stardust muttered. “As you guys were leaving, Sinnoh... well, for lack of a better word, Sinnoh was eaten. You try to send me back and I’ll probably evaporate or something.”

“Wh-what?” Dimentio shouted, alarmed. He sighed. “That means whatever’s out there must have claimed the Pokémon world as the next in its line of destruction...”

“So that means I’m coming with you?”

“..... Oh, all right. But only because I can’t send you back.”

“Yay!” Stardust jumped onto Dimentio’s head in delight. “I just noticed something,” he said. “Your head is fatter in this world.”

“That’s good to know.”

Suddenly, the skies darkened. The world they were in wasn’t about to be destroyed(it would kill the purpose of this whole chapter), but it still wasn’t a good sign. A breeze started blowing, then gradually grew stronger until it was a full-fledged wind. “What’s going on?” someone screamed over the roaring winds. Their question was about to be answered. In the distance, a cone-shaped cloud spiraled downward, touching the ground. It sped towards them, pulling up various objects in its path. The strongest tornado in a long time had just touched down on Free Country soil.

“Holy crap!” “RUN!” “Augh, we’re all gonna die!” “EEEK!” “I don’t want to go to Oz!” “MOMMY!”

They all ran as fast as they could away from the tornado. You know, it’s really not the best idea to run from a tornado, but when you’re panicking, you don’t think straight. So they ran. They ran so far away-ay. Soon, a familiar red brick building came into view. Outside of it, waving frantically, was an overweight blue-faced man with mismatched eyes and large teeth, wearing an orange shirt, gray pants and a green belt. “This way!” the man shouted, waving his orange flipper-arms. “The storm shelter’s over here!” The group made their way to the building, which turned out to be Bubs’ Concession Stand. Bubs had been the man directing them to his concession stand, and helped them all make their way into the storm shelter, which was actually his basement.

“Thanks, Bubs,” Kermit told the shady entrepreneur. “But why were you out in that storm?”

“Knew you were coming,” Bubs replied. Already in the storm shelter were all the citizens of Free Country, USA: the Runner siblings(Homestar and Shooting Star), the Brothers Strong, Marzipan, Coach Z, Pom Pom, The Cheat, his girlfriend Snowflake, The King of Town and his servants, and Homsar. At that point, there was a loud crunching sound above them. “There goes the concession stand,” Bubs sighed.

“So what’s the deal with the tornado?” Fozzie asked. “Last time we were here, Free Country didn’t seem like Tornado Country to me.”

“I think I should be the one to explain it,” Strong Sad told him. He cleared his throat. “Well, a few hours ago, I was walking home from my toga-yoga class when I noticed something strange out of the corner of my eye. It was a green glass ball, about the size of an orange. I said to myself, ‘This must be one of those Orbs that Dimentio said to keep an eye out for.’ So I took it home and called Dimmie here. I was planning on keeping it in my room, safe and sound, but someone had to take it so he could play marbles.”

“Hey, man, it wasn’t just any game of marbles!” Strong Bad defended himself. “It was EXTREME MARBLES!”

“Let me guess,” Dimentio said in monotone. “It was the Wind Orb, and that’s what’s causing the tornado.”

“Exactly.”

Meanwhile, Kermit was doing a headcount of everyone, to make sure they had made it into the shelter safely. “Okay, I know Stardust is here because he’s biting my head... Fozzie’s here, Dimentio’s here, Piggy, Gonzo, Bunsen, Beaker...”

“I’m here, sweetie!” “I’m here, too!” “Present!” “Me-oh!”

“Electric Mayhem, Rowlf, Rizzo, Web, Errol...”

“We’re all present and accounted for!” “Fer sure!” “I’m here, Kermit!” “Hey, Bubs has cheese down here!” “I’m here.” “Me too.”

“Mimi, O’Chunks, Nastasia...”

“We’re here!” “Yeh—wait... WHERE’S MISS NASTASIA?”

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Meanwhile, in the center of the cyclone, Nastasia was plastered to the side of Bubs’ Concession Stand due to the force of the heavy winds. She opened her eyes. Everything was blurry, and this wasn’t due to the fact that the winds had begun picking up speed. Her glasses... where were her glasses? Something small and orange spun past. Without thinking, Nastasia pushed herself away from the battered concession stand and made her way through the air to grab it. It turned out to be her glasses, so she put them on. Now being able to see more clearly, she looked up and saw a sphere-shaped green glow above her. “That must be the Orb!” she exclaimed to herself. “If I could just get to it...”

Nastasia knew what she had to do. She weaved this way and that, using the direction of the wind to keep herself afloat. She was so close to it. She reached...

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Back in the basement/storm shelter, Shooting Star tried to raise the group’s morale by performing her rendition of Styx’s Mr Roboto. Many times. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. “Why so glum, chums?” she asked.

“I wonder if Nastasia’s okay,” Web said.

“Forget it, bird brain,” Strong Bad told her. “Haven’t you ever seen Twister? No one could survive winds like that.” This earned him a slap in the face from Shooting Star. “Ow! Don’t do that!”

In the back part of the basement, Homestar was playing a video game. It involved some sort of purple/pink/yellow jester-type person flying around immense landscapes. He was singing a song while he was playing, too. “In the nights, dweam delight, I want to see you standing thewe...”

Not everyone was in such high spirits at this time, however. Mimi and O’Chunks had been trying to make their way out of the storm shelter, with little success. Coach Z had taken to trying to eat his own leg. Even Kermit was getting a little antsy. Suddenly, the winds outside stopped. Something very heavy dropped above their heads, then a voice was heard. “Um, you can come out now, ‘kay?”

Everyone perked up at the sound of the voice. “Nassy!” Mimi shouted. They all made their way back to the surface. By some strange stroke of luck, Bubs’ Concession Stand had been dropped back to the exact spot where it once stood, with mostly everything still intact. The tornado had disappeared, and Nastasia was holding a green, glass ball, seemingly carrying a miniature tornado inside. The Wind Orb.

“Whoa...” Shooting Star gasped. “That little glass ball made the tornado?”

“Apparently so,” Nastasia replied, “because the tornado stopped when I grabbed it.”

“How’d you make it out okay?”

“Well, I used the cyclone’s wind to get me closer to the Orb. When I caught it, I just started flying on my own somehow... yeah.”

Another Orb found, the group decided to call it a day. They went to the Strong house and played video games until they fell asleep.

 

[ZootyCutie]

Once again, great chapter, Jess! 8D