So . . . I think my dad may die soon.
He's been in and out of both hospitals and nursing homes since the latter half of the summer due to his breathing problems worsening, and it seems like throughout this whole time, his condition has only fluxuated: he'll get better for a little while, but then he'll take a turn for the worse, then he'll improve a little again, then he'll take another turn for the worse. For the past three years, he's basically battled COPD, emphesyma, and a brief bout of cancer as well, I don't know if it all has finally just caught up with him or what (part of it seems to be he just didn't seem to have a desire to basically rebuild himself and his strength at the same time).
As of today, my mom visited him in his new hospital room, and it turns out his caretaking staff wants to start putting him on morphine, which . . . I know is basically one of the next steps in basically helping somebody in that condition ease into a more peaceful, eventually death.
I really don't know what to think right now. Honestly, growing up with my parents has very much been like growing up with the Costanzas or the Barones, a lot of sitcom-esque bickering and spats, sometimes it's been too much for me to bear, and theirs has only continued into my adulthood as well. Still, he's my dad, and I love him in spite of the fact that's never exactly been an upstanding kind of guy.