The New New Quote Thread

[D'Snowth]

A little ego stroke. . . .

ME: Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Steve.
STEVE D'MONSTER: (Under his breath) I'd rather bite the hand that gets shoved up my *** all the time.

 

[Pig'sSaysAdios]

A little ego stroke. . . .

ME: Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Steve.
STEVE D'MONSTER: (Under his breath) I'd rather bite the hand that gets shoved up my *** all the time.

Hehehe

 

[D'Snowth]

BARRY: How about a suicide pact?
VANESSA: How would we do it?
BARRY: I'll sting you, you step on me.
VANESSA: That just kills you twice.
BARRY: Oh yeah.

 

[D'Snowth]

JIMMY KIMMEL: Do you know what HBO stands for?
KID: (Awkward pause) Uhh . . . Hairy . . . Broadcasting . . . Orientation?
JIMMY KIMMEL: So close! So close!

 

[cjd874]

Matt: T-E-R-R-A-N-O-P-H-O-B-I-A!
Sarah: That is INCORRECT!
(The buzzer sounds and everybody goes nuts.)
Damien: It starts with P, you dingus!

----- Smosh Pit, "Spelling Bee-Kini Wax #3"

 

[Froggy Fool]

"Sometimes you don't believe that something horrible really happened until you see it for yourself." - @Pig's Laundry

 

[cjd874]

Student quotes from elementary school band lessons:
#1.
Me: So there are seven letters on the music alphabet: A through G. There is no such thing as a note called Q, or W, or Z.
5th grade trombone student: Not yet, there isn't!
#2.
Me: Dr. Selfridge is a band teacher who makes YouTube videos for beginning band students like you guys!
4th grade clarinet student: (raises hand) Is he rich?
#3.
5th grade clarinet student: I think you'd be good at being a principal of a music academy!
Me: Thank you, but I'm happy being a teacher right now. Maybe in the future, though.
Student: Can you make sure that I get in for free?

 

[CBPuppets]

Brandon: "You've done an excellent job raising and training your Pokémon, but you allow your emotions to betray you on the battlefield! We will battle again one day when you've learned to control them."
--Pokemon Episode A Pyramiding Rage--

 

[MuppetSpot]

Steve: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

The robot guy: Oh gosh, some kids really hate peanut butter, don’t they.

 

[CBPuppets]

Prof. Oak: "There was a simple reason you were expelled, your work shows zero respect for Pokémon! Without respect, your theories will doom to failure time after time."
--Mastermind of Mirage Pokemon