Toady--where did I put those application forms? <opens all desk drawers, sifts through the file cabinets, looks under desk calendar> *sigh* I know I had them right before I sat down...oh! <stands, and finds application in desk chair> Aha! Ah, well--so much for the princess and the pea, I suppose.
Toady: Ma'am--we're getting calls from parents wishing to change homerooms.
Don't be ridiculous, Toady. We don't have any parents in home rooms, only students.
Toady: <looks confused> No, I mean, um, the parents are calling because they're unhappy with the home rooms their students have been assigned.
*SIGHS* Oh, heavens-to-Bertram, it's the same story every year. Parents want their child to get so-and-so because they had so-and-so, or because an older sibling had so-and-so or because Mr. and Mrs Muckety-Muck's child is in so-and-so's room. Don't they understand that assigning home rooms is a delicate, complicated, precise undertaking?
Toady: I thought we just threw darts at the chart.
Don't be impudent. The darts are magical, of course, and you have to do it on a full moon (which is particularly hard, I might add, on our school librarian, who happens to be a werewolf).
Toady: <shifting uncomfortably from flippered foot to flippered foot> Um, what should I tell them to do. <Receives long, pointed stare from the Headmistress> Um, I don't think I can tell them to--oh! Maybe we could send out a general post explaining our policy?
Surely you don't think that will work?
Toady: No, but by the time they sort through all the legalese, school will have started and it will be a moot point.
Hmmm. I have to say, I like it. It's sneaky, and just obvious enough to seem clever. <eyes Toady thoughtfully> You know, you make a pretty good assistant, for a toad.
Toady: <waggles eyebrows enticingly> If you think I'm a good toad, you ought to see what sort of prince I make.
Not buying it, dear. You were never a prince. But if you're good this year, maybe we'll consider an upgrade, hm?
Toady: <philosophically> Haven't got much to lose, have I? *sigh* I'll just send out a parents bulletin by the next post.