"The Moppet Family - Same Family, New Thread..."

[Beauregard]

Mrs Moppet Senior: *to camera* I'll strike you with a post... *looks Marian up and down* Well, she's a scrawny little thing. Tight, but homely. *steps closer to Jack* I'm experienced. *to Father* Basement. Now.

Father: We don't hav-

Mrs Moppet Senior: *rolls eyes* I don't have time for this. *to Jack* Though I always have time for that.

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: ...*stares at Mrs. M. Senior* *gulp* I have... a... dragon... child...

 

[Beauregard]

Mrs Moppet Senior: I know you have a dragon, sweetcakes, I've seen it. Don't call me child, I'm older than your mother.

Father: When did we develop a basement?

Mrs Moppet Senior: Of heaven forfend, boy! Where did you suppose the secret bunker was kept? In a tree house?

Father: We had a tree house?

Mrs Moppet Senior: *icey glare* After you.

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: We have a tree house? ...Wait, no! We don't! Mrs. M., stay AWAY from me and that tree house at the same time! *hides under a pillow*

 

[Beauregard]

Mrs Moppet Senior: *re pillow* Hold that thought. *pushes sofa back and yanks up the edge of the carpet, snapping nails out of the floorboards*

Father: If you must destroy something, start with the kitchen we already--

Mrs Moppet Senior: Must I shoot you to shut you up? *to Jack, with ranchy eyebrow movement* You can shoot me up anytime.

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: ...I'll call Don Canolli... he owes me a favor... I'll tell him to bring the really big gun.

 

[Beauregard]

Mrs Moppet Senior: Oh, so your boss is going to join us? Sounds delicious.

Father: Huh...*notices a handle in the floorboards, and lifts it, pulling open a trapdoor which leads to an ancient underground basement bunker* Why don't I remember this place...

Mrs Moppet Senior: Perhaps because it's a brand new set the writer's just came up with, honey.

Father: ...we'll discuss that later.

Mrs Moppet Senior: Fine. Fine. *lights up a cigarette* Because the last time you saw it, was in your future, and my past.

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: ...HUH?
Coffee Kid: *runs up to Jack* Mister Bandit, mister Bandit, it's just the plot exposition, don't worry.
Jack: ...Who are you?
Coffee Kid: I'm the coffee kid.
Jack: Oh. ...Well get me some coffee!
Coffee Kid: Yessir mister Bandit, right away mister Bandit! *runs off*
Jack: So, I repeat, HUH?

 

[Beauregard]

Father: My fut-

Mrs Moppet Senior: *lipcurl* Your foot?

Father: Your pas-

Mrs Moppet Senior: My as-what? Stop dribbling, and find a torch of some description.

Father: Yes, mum. *hurries to drawer and scrabbles for a flashlight* Here.

Mrs Moppet Senior: *flicks it on and jumps down into the basement, landing with a squelch* So, Jacky boy, are you coming into the dark with me or staying up there babysitting your dragon by yourself?

Father: *carefully climbs down behind his mother* You need to tell me what's going on.

Mrs Moppet Senior: In good time.

(OOC: Yes, there is a plot! Working something out with Christy for a return, hopefully she's explained to Count. Will fill people in as needed. Feel free to continue destroying the house for that plot, and apparently a baby is due soon? Stay turned!)

 

[The Count]

And so the Prawn is thoroughly confused. Good, cause the rest of us are just as in the dark as Bo and his mummie. Tune in next time for "Digging in the Dark is a Gas, Baby Can You Dig it?" or "Cigareetes and Whiskey and Wild Wild Women will Drive You Crazy, They'll Drive you to Death."