The Fourth Semi-Annual Official Muppet Central Forum Awards Ceremony

[The Count]

*Mystical music fills the hall, flowing from the glowing golden pipe... Singing: I said 1, 2, play me do, let me sound as sweet as you. Play me wide, play me long, let me be your song!
All: Hail Cantus!
Cantus: Hail Muppet Central! Tidings to you all. As the life of a minstrel takes us everywhere and then nowhere, we all welcome the chance to return to the somewhere we used to know. And in that respect, the somewhere is that which where you also have to leave sometimes. But if you listen to your heart, you will find that that somewhere is always where you are. Indeed, listening is the first step and the last step. So listen to me... As I declare as a Fraggle, it is good to return, even for the briefest of instances. So in honor of the Return to the Insanity, we give this nice trophy to a James "Jamie" Caroll... Though some of you call him frogboy4.
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d172/nickguy505/Awards/insanityreturn.png


Cantus: Now that one less trophy remains, we are one trophy closer to happiness. *Plays his golden pipes again as he wends offstage to the music pit awaiting intermission after the next prize to be named.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Squeekee! Congrats on the noob award!

 

[Luke]

Congrats to Greg (News), Beau (Muffining), and Kev (Moderating) for their awards and great work in their specialist areas, lol, and of course to all the other award winners. I will listen with interest to the Muppetcast to get the full rundown.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

-Gasps- -Runs to do a late speech-

I am grateful for this newbie award.
I am thankful that I'm everyone's favorite newb. -tears-

OHOHOHOHO!
-Cries-

IN HONOR OF THIS!

-Rips off her clothes, revealing a red plastic suit-

HIT IT!

Dun dun dun...

CRAZY! I JUST CAN'T SLEEP!
I'M SO EXCITED!
I'M IN TOO DEEP!

OOOOO!
CRAAZZYYY!

BUT IT FEELS ALRIGHT!
BABY KEEPS ME LOVIN'!
KEEPS ME UP ALL NIGH-

-Falls off the stage once more-


Bunsen:
Dreadful.

Dr. Van Neuter:
MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!

Beaker:
(Faints)

---

Claudia:
(Rips off her plastic suit, revealing a tux)

Bunsen:
Just how much are you wearing?

Claudia:
Alot...

 

[The Count]

Um... About that Luke, you'll just have to tune in and judge for yourself.

Moving onwards... I'd like to invite a special guest for the last award of the first half of our show.
Ladies and gentlemen...
The Jim Henson Muppet walks cooly up to the stage and clears his throat.

Jim: Hello everybody. First, let me thank everyone who has made this a great place for Muppets and Muppet fans all over the world to come and talk and generally feel welcome. That's what my friend Jim would have wanted. So I've been asked to hand out the MC Lifetime Achievement award. This one goes out to a very special person... Without whom we wouldn't be here today. It's because of this person's dedication and hard work that this place is "The" premiere Muppet fansite. And the winner is...
*Prolonged drumroll from Animal, who's tense and restlessly waiting to cut loose...
Mr. Phillip Chapman.
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d172/nickguy505/Awards/lifetimeachievementaward.png

We all want to say congratulations on two important 10-milestones: ushering in over 10000 members past the doors of your great online community, and your website/town's tenth anniversary. Here's wishing many more happy events come your way in the coming years.

All clap and applaud as the curtains go down, lights turn on, and intermission sign tells everybody it's time to party for a while at least before the second half of the ceremony begins.

 

[D'Snowth]

*Yawns* Oh, what a great night's sleep I had!

What ho? I won ANOTHER award this year? Whooaaaaaaaaaa! I can't believe it! For best thread killer? Awesome!

First of all, I want to thank God, and I'd also like to tell Him to forget about what Kathy Griffin said for she knew not what she did... well, actually she did, but she'll be burning in h e l l anyway for it, so...

Next, I want to thank my dear, dear friend MrsPepper for establishing her own T*K*O unit after the 3976th was already taken, and you didn't want the 3977th, so you created the half! *Gives MrsPepper a hug to tight, I almost break her ribcage* Oops, sorry, but hey, you DID win "Most Huggable"! *Gives Peppi a smaller hug*

Because of MrsPepper's guidance, my thread killing abilities have extended into actual FORUM killing abilities! So, thanks to all, and to all a good... uh morning?

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony leaps onto the stage, and grabs a microphone.

Well...just because it's intermission doesn't mean the fun has to stop, right? I'm gonna do a little song for you now, with the help of my three backup singers...(looks off, into wings) Come on out, girls, don't be shy!

Grudgingly, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo and Gypsy, from MST3K enter from the wings. They are wearing women's wigs, and don't look too happy to be up here. They crowd around an extra microphone.

Now this song...this song is dedicated to all of you out there, who have ever misinterpreted the lyrics to a song. Now who hasn't, huh? I think that's something we all have in common.

Anyway...I'm not sure what the actual title of this song is, but it's commonly called "Burning Rubber Tires," because...well, just because. It was featured in the classic MST3K episode, Pod People, an E.T. meets Alf meets The Partridge Family...thingie...movie! Yes, I'm sorry, it's a movie. Kinda got lost there...

So, without further to do...I give you..."Burning Rubber Tires!"

Tony loosens his tux tie, then turns to his three "female" backup singers.

All right, let's do it! You come in late again, girls, you're outta here! All right? From the top!

A cheesy backing track, upbeat and poppy, is heard over the sound system. Tony begins a strange, awkward dance as he sings...

With a pickled mind,
We kick the whipple beer,
Steady as a goat,
We're flying over trout!

Get on down the highway
At the speed of light,
All I want to feel now is
The wind in my eyes!

Sack of monkeys in my pocket,
My sister's ready to go!

Tony, Crow & Tom: Hear the engines roar now!

Gypsy (a beat behind) Hear the engines roar now!

Tony, Crow & Tom: Idiot control now!

Gypsy: Idiot control now!

Tony, Crow & Tom: Hideous control now!

Gypsy: Hideous control now!

Tony, Crow & Tom: Nitty on the road now!

Gypsy: Nitty on the road now!

Tony, Crow & Tom:

Midi in control,
Wheels on fire,
Burning rubber tires!

Gypsy: Rubber tires!

Tony, Crow and Tom: Near each other rolls now!

Gypsy: Near...now!

Tony, Crow & Tom: He really lets me go now!

Gypsy: He...let...go...

Tony, Crow & Tom: Needy inches bow down!

Gypsy: Bow down!

Tony, Crow & Tom: Pity and a poor boy!

Gypsy: Poor boy!

Tony, Crow & Tom:

Hear the X's roll,
Peas on fire,
Burning rubber tires!

Gypsy: Tires!

The song comes to an end.

Crow: What do you think, Tony?

Tony (smiles cheesily, and gives an "okay" sign with his fingers) It stinks!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Congradulations Claudia! *hugs her* Hey Kyle, congradulations! *shakes his hand* I'm goin' ta get a snapple. Anyone want anything?

 

[The Count]

*Waves hands off in the air after Tony's song. Eeeeeeh...
Isn't Gypsy a girl anyway?
*Animal's eyebrow goes up.
Wha? *Chases after Gypsy. Wo-man! Wo-man!
*Instrumental version of Can You Picture That? starts to play as the concession stand opens up for business.

*We'll get to the second half of the show later today folks, so feel free to mingle.

 

[D'Snowth]

Um, in case anyone didn't notice, I just made my speech.