The dark day of Valentines Day is upon us...

[Drtooth]

I dunno. "People have it worse than you," is a lame way to put things in perspective. There's a difference between being thankful with what you have and being in a bad state in the first place.

The message sounds to me like, "Some guy cut your leg off with a rusty hacksaw? Some people aren't even BORN with legs! Go die in a fire!" It's cold comfort to say "Hey! Someone has it worse than me" when you're pretty bad off yourself. We have to respect that there are lonely people who get very depressed around holidays, and when the whole point of the holiday is to spend it with someone, that's like a fart in the face. This isn't exactly complaining that you have to eat Lima beans when kids are starving in some country. Loneliness is loneliness and it's bad on every angle.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I dunno. "People have it worse than you," is a lame way to put things in perspective.

But it's true. There's always someone else who would love to be in your situation. See if you put it that way it doesn't sound as harsh, lol.

 

[Drtooth]

Of course, I'd like to see the unemployed person facing the reality of having his entire family out on the street wondering where their next meal is going to come from that feels like a complete failure who doesn't take a swing at someone that says "At least you're not starving in Africa."

There will always be a bigger sob story, and making it a contest don't quite put something in perspective. If you're in a bad situation, help and sympathy are far better than being reminded that there are crappy places where people are born into terrible situations. Telling people to ST*U when their down is actually quite harmful if anything.

As long as the situation is terrible, that is.

 

[CensoredAlso]

If you're in a bad situation, help and sympathy are far better than being reminded that there are crappy places where people are born into terrible situations.

I just don't entirely agree; it depends on the help you mean. Too much sympathy only gives the person permission to keep feeling sorry for themselves (I've experienced this myself). You're essentially saying "Yeah, things really are that bad. You should be upset" which doesn't really help people move forward (again in my experience).

Sometimes you do have to be a little harsh to get through to someone. That can be help too. It's not being mean, it's just knowing how human beings respond to things.

 

[Drtooth]

It depends on the situation. Sometimes being harsh is good, sometimes it's a MAJOR setback that could damage a relationship and or push someone even closer into despair.

We have this culture where no one likes to help someone in a bad situation unless it alleviates them from guilt and makes them feel better about themselves for helping. Any bad situation can be overcome with the right guidance. Someone can't find a job? Call in a few favors (that's the only way to get a freaking job now anyway) and help them get one. A friend in a bad relationship/no relationship? Think of someone to fix them up with. Happened to my sister. She was in a really bad relationship with someone she had a bad relationship with prior (even though she IGNORED the entire family telling her to stay away from him after they broke up the first time... let's say that guy had some SERIOUS mental issues). Her friends found someone at their college that was perfect for her and now she's not only in a healthy relationship, she's engaged.

The reason you suck speech is something easily annoyed jerks will assault you with. There's two reactions. The "Oh yeah, you're right! I have to pull my crap together" reaction, or the "I'm doing the best I can, I need someone to help me, but everyone loves to screw me over" reaction. I've been in terrible situations before, and NO ONE wanted to give me any help and I've struggled to try to make the situation better and failed at it on my own. Seriously... think of a bullying victim that's a social pariah who becomes afraid to leave home and seriously considers suicide because nothing looks like it's going to get better. Would you rather say "I'm going to sure you get the justice you deserve" or "Boo Freaking Hoo! Baby gonna cry? You're not in a country with an oppressive regime?"

The thing is, as much as harsh truth bringers love waggling their fingers in a Brainy Smurf sort of way, they're people who usually have it far better than anyone else and think they're better because what they think they're saying is smart, rather than tactless, trolly, and completely unsympathetic. I've known these people and while there is a grain of truth, there's also a huge helping of "OMG! Shut up! Unless you're perfectly mellow with everything and agree with everything I say, you have no right to say anything. Bottle those feelings up like good little emotionally stunted people."

 

[CensoredAlso]

Seriously... think of a bullying victim that's a social pariah who becomes afraid to leave home and seriously considers suicide because nothing looks like it's going to get better. Would you rather say "I'm going to sure you get the justice you deserve" or "Boo Freaking Hoo! Baby gonna cry? You're not in a country with an oppressive regime?"

Well I don't know about name calling at people but you know what? Justice doesn't always come the instant we need it. That's why we have to learn to be resilant no matter what happens. To do otherwise would be to let the bullies win.

I'm just saying sometimes help doesn't come in the most pleasant of packages, but that doesn't make it wrong. Barney the Dinosaur says"Aw, feel better" and I will probably keep crying. Oscar the Grouch tells me to stop bothering him and move on and I might do just that, lol.

The thing is, as much as harsh truth bringers love waggling their fingers in a Brainy Smurf sort of way, they're people who usually have it far better than anyone else

More like they're just as bad off as you and deal with it by coming off as superior.

 

[D'Snowth]

Hmm... I guess more people are adopting this kind of mindset... apparently, a new survey suggests that if there's one thing that Americans want Congress to do to try to fix our nation's deficit and economic crisis, it's... to stop sending aid to poor and poverty-stricken nations.

Yeah, other countries already hate us as it is, this'll definitely help us grow in popularity.

 

[Drtooth]

I just bought some of those Necco conversation hearts...

Holy Crap! What the heck did they do to them? They taste good!

 

[D'Snowth]

Are those those nasty little sweettart-like heart-shaped candies that have those little messages on them like, "Be Mine" and "Drink Pepsi" and stuff?

 

[Drtooth]

The very same. The Necco ones are the official ones, BTW. They replaced icky white with blue raspberry and completely upped the flavors. Now they're slightly better than Sweetarts. Still a far cry from anything half as good as Easter candy. But now this stuff that you're basically compelled to eat seasonally is actually worth eating.