The corny joke thread

[D'Snowth]

Why is it wrong to say “pi r square”?
Who ever heard of square pie? Everyone knows pie are round!

 

[Mary Louise]

Do you know why blondes don't like M&M's?

They hate peeling off the shells.

Another blonde buys a bag of M&M's, and an hour later returns them to the store.
"These are defective! They all say "W"!"

Okay, how about this one?

Why did the blonde wear dark glasses?

With all the dumb-blonde jokes around, she didn’t want to be recognized.

 

[meepmuppaphones]

Here's a few from my brother (who makes lots of corny jokes)

1.What kind of construction tool is edible?

A Ham-mer!

2. Why does too much thinking ruin your brain?

Sooner or later it'll step on a MIND-field!

3. What do you do to a tree to make it not know the answer to a riddle?

Stump it!

WOCKA WOCKA!

 

[Karamazova]

Did you hear the one about the pregnant comedian?

she had a pun in the oven!

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

 

[Sgt Floyd]

What happened when the butcher backed into his meet grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

O_e

So wrong yet so funny

 

[Karamazova]

oh lord, did I really spell "meat" as "meet"?

*forever embarassed*

Um. New Joke:

How did the farmer grow a lot of tomoatos?

He was outstanding in his field.

 

[Misskermie]

A girl walks into the living room, to ask her boyfriend if he wants a tuna fish sandwich, what did he say?

Why would anyone tune a fish?

A squirrel drags another squirrel to an evergreen, and says, tell me a joke, then grabs a jar of syrup It came from the tree. The other squirrel says, why you got a jar of syrup?

I;m a sap for tree jokes.

 

[TheWoodringman]

A guy goes door-to-door looking for work.
Some guy pays him 50 bucks to paint his porch, guy comes back in an hour and says "I'm finished! But I think you should know something! Your car is a Ferrari, not a porch!"
Aaah!
WOCKA! WOCKA!

 

[Misskermie]

What do you get when a T-Rex exercises too much?

A Dino-Sore


What does a frog eat in paris?


French Flies



Why did the store close at 2 o' clock?


It was twos day

 

[Mary Louise]

What’s the best way to cure acid indigestion?

Stop drinking acid!