The corny joke thread

[fuzzygobo]

Lighten up they are jokes I never stated he was dumb. It could of been anyone's name in front of the jokes. Now go enjoy The Delta Force.

You wanna drive Chuck Norris crazy? Tell him to go to his round house and sit in the corner!

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Why did the elephant wear a striped shirt?

Because it didn't want to be spotted! Wocka, wocka, wocka!

 

[Bannanasketch]

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks. Ahhhh, Wocka, Wocka!

 

[fuzzygobo]

Do you know why blondes don't like M&M's?

They hate peeling off the shells.

Another blonde buys a bag of M&M's, and an hour later returns them to the store.
"These are defective! They all say "W"!"

 

[Mary Louise]

Okay, for this joke, it helps to be familiar with this Sesame Street Sketch:

[Harvey Kneeslapper is giggling while jumping on a pogo stick. Fat Blue is watching.]

Fat Blue: Say, that pogo stick looks like fun!

Harvey: Ahhh, sure is! Wanna try?

Fat Blue: Oh, I’d love to!

Harvey: What’s that?

Fat Blue: I say, I’d love to!

Harvey: Oh! All right. Here!

[Slaps the number 2 on Fat Blue’s chest.]

Harvey: There’s 2! A’HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[Harvey laughs like mad as he bounces away on the pogo stick, with Fat Blue giving angry chase.]

And now for the joke!

Q: Why didn’t Harvey pull this trick on anyone else?

A: He had only one 2.

 

[Teheheman]

Realizing I told the Dr joke already, here's another one.
Guy goes into a Doctors office and the Dr says
"You don't have very long to live"
Guy says "How long do I have left?"
Dr says 10
Guy says "10 what? 10 days? 10 weeks?"
Dr says 10, 9, 8, 7, pay your bill, 6, cash only, 5

Daniel

 

[fuzzygobo]

Did you hear about the blind skunk that fell in love with a fart?

 

[Misskermie]

Did you hear about the blind skunk that fell in love with a fart?

Nope... But I have two jokes.

What happened to the frog who was mad at himself?




He Ker-mitted suicide.




What path do crazy people take in the woods?





The physco path.



Wocka Wocka Wocka!!!

 

[HeyButtahfly]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tara.
Tara who?


(Cue music): "Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-dee- ay, Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-dee- ay..."

 

[Mary Louise]

Why is it wrong to say “pi r square”?
Who ever heard of square pie? Everyone knows pie are round!