The corny joke thread

[Pork]

What starts with T, ends with T and has T in it?













A Teapot


*I'm a teapot, I'm a teapot, I'm a teapot*

 

[ngreen522]

In the days of primitive tribes and grass huts, there was one tribe which was very warlike. They won many battles, and took control of many other tribes. One of their customs was to take the most prized posession of the enemy's chief.
After a particularly fierce battle, they defeated a rich tribe whose king had a prized solid gold throne.
They seized the throne, and put it in the loft of their cheif's house. Unfortunately, the throne was much too heavy to be kept in the loft of a grass house, and it fell right through the ceiling, onto the cheif, killing him instantly.

This my friends, is the reason we have the old adage of self critique: ... People Who Live in Grass Houses Shouldn't Stow Thrones!

 

[ngreen522]

Two nuns are driving down a road at night when a vampire jumps out onto the road, so one nun says to the other "Sister, show him your cross!" so the other nun rolls down the window and shouts "GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID VAMPIRE !"

 

[ngreen522]

Did anyone else hear about the Energizer Bunny being arrested last month?

... I heard he was charged with battery!

 

[Oscarfan]

Knock-knock

Who's There?

Little Old Lady.

Little Old Lady Who?

I Didn't know you could yodel!

I don't, but know a little old lady who.

Thank you! All be here all week! *gunshot* Uh, 'Til Friday? *BOOM* Rest of today? *shotgun cock* Uh, so long! *runs away*

 

[ngreen522]

Thank you! All be here all week! *gunshot* Uh, 'Til Friday? *BOOM* Rest of today? *shotgun cock* Uh, so long! *runs away*

and ma' tomatoes are right behind ya

 

[Ilikemuppets]

Did anyone else hear about the Energizer Bunny being arrested last month?

... I heard he was charged with battery!

Ha! That one actually made me laugh!

 

[muppet maniac]

If dogs told jokes...

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Ruff!"

"Ruff who?"

"Ruff!"

(this came from Whose Line is it Anyway, just so you know)

 

[Oscarfan]

Booooooooooooooo! Get a job!

 

[Ilikemuppets]

Booooooooooooooo! Get a job!

Now that funny! Ha!