The corny joke thread

[lael]

Okay, a guy with a carrot in his nose, an apple on his head & stalks of cellery sticking out of his ears went in to see the doctor.

The doctor said, "First off, you're not eating right."

 

[abiraniriba]

bad cop joke

A man is walking down the street carrying a desk. He has a wastebasket attached to his leg and adesk lamp coming out of his head.

A cop walks up to him and says, "Sorry, but I'm going to have to arrest you for impersonating an office Sir."

 

[MartyMuppets]

Okay, a guy with a carrot in his nose, an apple on his head & stalks of cellery sticking out of his ears went in to see the doctor.

The doctor said, "First off, you're not eating right."

Speaking of not eating right Another guy goes to see another doctor. Says to him "I've been eating lots of green vegetables like you told me to, but it's been making my tummy awfully sore."

The doctor asks him what sort of green vegetables is he eating and the man replies, "Green carrots, green potatoes, green tomatoes."

 

[Ruben]

Okay, a guy with a carrot in his nose, an apple on his head & stalks of cellery sticking out of his ears went in to see the doctor.

The doctor said, "First off, you're not eating right."

ok heres a doctor and a blonde joke in one.

a blonde goes into the doctors office with second degree burns on both ears, the doc' says to her, "what happened?"
"well" says the blonde, "I was doing the ironing when the phone rang, and I picked up the iron by mistake",
"Ok" says the doctor, "that explains one ear, but what about the other one?" "oh, well they called back."

 

[abiraniriba]

Key not working right

The n key on my computer has come loose nnnn there it goes I got it back in. I know this is not a joke but the situation is kind of funny.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Customer: Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?

Waiter: Looks like the back-stroke, sir.

Customer: Yeah, but this is a five-star restaurant. He could at least be wearing a pair of swimming trunks!

 

[ZootyCutie]

Here's one that gets me every time!

A man was going door to door looking for work. He meets this one guy who offers him $50 to paint his porch. The man comes back in an hour and says, "I'm finished! But I would like to say, your car is a Ferrari, not a Porsche!"

 

[lael]

What do you call a broken boom-a-rang
.a stick! hee hee.

HA! I LOVE IT! HA HA HA!

 

[lael]

What do you get when you cross a stream & a brook?














~ Wet feet. *hangs head in shame, giggles & shakes head*

 

[lael]

My nephew told these two to me today.




What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.




HAHAHA!




What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.





What's round and ill tempered?

A vicious circle.


EK! they're getting worse! HA HA HA!