Ladies and gentlemen, it's the top 100 Muppets by Lisa and Prawnie! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
50. Johnny Fiama and Sal Minella (Muppets Tonight)
P - HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' PUTTIN' JOHNNY FIAMA AT NUMBER 50, HUH?
L - This is Prawnie channelling Sal, apparently, which in theory means that I should channel Johnny, but I just don't do a good Johnny. So I'll see if I can snap him back to himself by saying that this is one of those slots that just sort of has to be shared, because the two characters just sort of belong together.
P - I'd give up my slot for Johnny Fiama any day of the week!
L - ...I don't think it worked. Anyway, the point is, we've got Johnny Fiama, who thinks he's all that, and Sal, the rug.
P - Just make sure you wipe your feet.
L - On the rug?
P - Only if you're Johnny Fiama.
L - Because Sal is INSANELY loyal to Johnny Fiama. Sold his motorcycle just to buy Johnny a gold record player, for crying out loud... And then called Kermit his best friend, but that's beside the point.
P - It was a MOPED! Not a motorcycle! Geez, monkeys can't drive motorcycles...
L - Oh please, a moped is really just a mini-motorcycle. The point is, Sal and Johnny are an AWESOME comedy duo.
P - Johnny does most of the work. He's my best pal in the whole world, he's knows what he's doin', and best of all, he loves his ma!
L - ...Yeah... that. So, Sal continuously bends over backwards for Johnny, sometimes more literally than other times...
P - I've been to the center of the Earth and bacak for Johnny! And I'd do it again too! And again three!
L - And Johnny just sort of orders Sal around and doesn't give him a lick of thanks.
P - That's not true! I get a banana a week! Just like my contract states!
L - ...Yeah. Now that's interesting. Anyway, what I was hoping we'd point out here, which is difficult to do, since it's about a game that I've never played, and Prawnie's channelling Sal... Um- geez, I don't even remember what game it was...
P - *blink* Which game? Muppet Party Cruise or Muppet Race Mania?
L - How should I know? I've never played either of 'em!
P - Well do you care to elaborate on what you were hoping we'd point out?
L - Oh, sorry, of course. It was something about when a character would win or lose, they would "talk to" the person playing them, and if the person was playing Johnny, you'd see Johnny and Sal, but if the person was playing Sal, you'd just see Sal.
P - *blink* Well, after you won a race as Johnny in Muppet Race Mania Johnny would say, "I won! I won! I've gotta tell Sal-- Sal!" "Yeah, Johnny?" "I won, Sal! I won!" "That's great Johnny!" "I won!"
L - Mm. I see. So, although Johnny doesn't show much respect for Sal, he does NEED the monkey.
P - Duh, everyone needs a monkey.
L - Yeah, too bad they're not allowed in dorms... But anyway, my impression is that Johnny isn't as essential to Sal as Sal is to Johnny.
P - This is true. In The Muppet Show Live, Johnny had no speaking parts, but Sal was in the Paul Williams Sing-Along for the last three songs. Probably just because Brian wanted to be a part of it, and didn't want to do Dr. Phil van Neuter, but still...
L - Mm-hm. Which makes you wonder why Sal sticks with a guy who pushes him around to no end.
P - It's for the sauce.
L - ...Oh. Okay. Case closed, then!
49. Hoots the Owl (Sesame Street)
P - The hip owl with a sax in his wings! He's a real HOOT! Ahahahaha!
L - Ahhh, wocka wocka! <ahem> Yeah, Hoots is AWESOME. I absolutely adore it when he sings, you know?
P - SHA! Kevin has SUCH a great singing voice. Actually, a great all around everything when it comes to performing, but still...
L - Mm-hm! So out of curiosity, which of his songs is your favorite?
P - Oh, that's easy. "It Takes a Street", definitely.
L - Exactly what I was going to say. As a matter of fact, it's stuck in my head at the moment. Not that I'm complaining about that.
P - Hehehe. Well, to please the readers, "Put Down the Duckie" is a VERY close second. And for all of you who don't have either of those songs, send me a PM and I'll be happy to send you the songs!
L - And I do love it when he sings, "It Feels Good When You Sing a Song." Although I think that might've been a one time thing?...
P - Well, he sang it last season with John Legend, but who knows.
L - <Shrug> I liked it. I like his laugh, too. It's such an exceptionally happy laugh!
P - Kevin is GREAT with laughs! Elmo's, for instance has a million dollar laugh. Litterally. *points to Tickle Me Elmo*
L - Oy! <giggles> To tell you the truth, I like Hoots' laugh better than Elmo's, but I don't exactly foresee any Tickle Me Hoots dolls on the market, so...
P - That would be so hardcore.
L - I would SO buy it. ...If I didn't feel like a broke college student. But then I'd just ask for it for my birthday or something.
P - Yes, of course. ...Anymore we can say about Hoots?
L - Well I seem to recall a postponed Hoots discussion in regards to Follow That Bird...?
P - Oh yeah! He was there! He didn't sound like him, but he looked like him.
L - Around the conference table of the Feathered Friends. Was he the one who suggested that Big Bird looked happy?
P - Yes!
L - I thought so! So that's kind of like a hint that, hey, this guy understands Sesame Street. Because he actually lives there.
P - Yes, but not until he picked up his new voice and happy laugh.
L - So he got over his cold and cheered up! And thank GOODNESS for that happy laugh!
P - Yes, totally.
48. Fat Blue/Mr. Johnson (Sesame Street)
P - Why me? Why is it always me?
L - WAITER!
P - I don't want any doors! Just lose the doors!
L - I just want to read "War and Peace" in peace...
P - ...That's all I got.
L - Pity. The soup's cold, it's missing letters, I just need a spoon, I don't WANT the tomato surprise, go away and let me have my lunch...
P - ...Thank you. Oh, and his mommy lives in Chicago.
L - Really?
P - Yup!
L - How do you know?
P - He told me so himself.
L - Well- clearly. But when?
P - When Grover and Elmo delivered him a singing telegram.
L - And is she on the North Side or the South Side? Or is she actually in a suburb, and just claiming to live in Chicago for easy directional reference?
P - I... don't know.
L - ...Pity. Anyway, Fat Blue was originally performed by Jim, wasn't he?
P - *blink* No idea. But Jerry makes him fantastic.
L - Agreed. Thought he was originally Jim's, but I'm not sure. I AM sure that someone will probably clear that up after we post, but until then, we'll rave regardless.
P - Oh, totally. Wanna place bets on who'll straighten us out?
L - Did I mention yet that I'm a broke college student?
P - Oh yeah. ...Never mind.
L - Anyway, Fat Blue, a.k.a. Mr. Johnson, seems to ALWAYS end up as Grover's customer, be it in a restaurant- as it typically is- on a reality show, or in the park with Grover on his day off as a singer and writer of songs... And I'm sure there's probably more situations...
P - And as a customer for Grover the travelling wig salesmen. I love it.
L - Ah, there we go. I knew I was missing something. I pity the guy, but I do wonder why he keeps going to the same restaurant...
P - The food must be REALLY good.
L - You would never guess, for as often as he seems to have troubles with his order.
P - But he does always end up getting SOMETHING, so it must be good.
L - I suppose. But even when he avoids the restaurant, he runs into Grover somehow.
P - Very true. I think Grover just really, really likes him.
L - I think Grover really, really likes just about everybody, but we'll get to him later.
P - Much... anyway!
L - Yes! Have we more to say of Fat Blue?
P - He's fat... and he's blue.
L - And he wears a suit.
P - And never seems to get his way.
L - No wonder he's so rarely happy.
P - Go figure.
47. Pops (The Muppet Show and The Great Muppet Caper)
L - <sleeps>
P - A, cash, B, credit card, C, sneak out in the middle of the night!
L - <wakes up> Wha? Oh. Who are you?
P - I'm supposed to be the guest star.
L - You'd better run while you've got the chance, then!
P - Darn, and me without my tennis shoes.
L - <giggles> Pops, I believe, is meant to be a foil to Statler and Waldorf.
P - Why? Because he actually likes some of the acts?
L - And he's a pretty nice guy, really, and he's backstage, as opposed to in the audience.
P - He is a very nice guy. But he can't manage a hotel worth a darn. That place was a wreck.
L - What's to say he was the manager? He just worked the front desk. ...Or, slept on it.
P - I wonder who the manger was... anyway, why do you think they gave Pops such a big role?
L - So that he could be seen while people still remembered who he was?
P - Ah. That would be a reasonable explanation.
L - It would indeed. I do try.
P - I know you do.
L - Oh good. At least someone does.
P - What can I say? I'm your half.
L - And a very good half, at that!
P - Well thank you. Shall we get this list back on track now?
L - Might as well.
46. Uncle "Travelling" Matt Fraggle (Fraggle Rock)
P - The other daaaaaaaaaaay!
L - Every day, the world begins again... Sunny skies or rain... Come and follow me...
P - That is MY song.
L - Sorry.
P - I LOVE MATT!
L - ME TOO!
P - He's just sooooo funny.
L - He's all clumsy and completely clueless about Outer Space. It's WONDERFUL!
P - Some of my favorite episodes are actually when he comes back to the Rock.
L - I can't say I've seen any of those. Care to share?
P - Umm... he... comes back to the Rock? Hehe, in one episode we discovered that he wears a toupe.
L - Well I should think so, after that episode with the sheep shears...
P - Ah ha! Forgot about that! Hehe, it all seems logical now.
L - Ah, glorious logic. I hate it sometimes. But anyway, Matt is awesome.
P - Sha! I love that he's the only connection the Fraggles have to Outer Space, and he makes it so... not... what it really is in his postcards, so they're left thinking it's nuts.
L - Well, from their perspective, it IS nuts! I mean honestly, supposing OUR only connection with the Fraggles was a single weekly postcard from one human being?
P - Like Brian Henson?
L - ...Um... sure? Maybe?
P - That would be so cool... Can I go get the mail now?
L - No, we've gotta finish this list, remember?
P - But Brian Henson sent me a postcard!
L - Prawnie? That was a hypothetical situation.
P - Since when?
L - Since about... eight lines ago.
P - Oh. ...Well now I'm just upset. ...What character were we on?
L - Uncle Travelling Matt, of course!
P - Of course!
L - He really is a brave Fraggle, especially since he percieves our world to be so much more threatening than it really is.
P - Well, I dunno, he hasn't even SEEN the threatening stuff yet.
L - Exactly. He's scared of the things that are NOT threatening.
P - Mmhm. So... he's a wimp.
L - No, he just doesn't know enough about our world to know that those things aren't threatening.
P - I'm confused now... can we move on?
L - Yes, we can.
45. Elmo (Sesame Street)
L - IT WAS HIS IDEA! DON'T LOOK AT ME!
P - YES! Elmo DOES rank high on a list that I am a part of. Don't panic.
L - <Giggles!> He does have reasoning. I'll let him explain.
P - Thank you. Now, people, listen to me, I don't care what you may think about Elmo, I need you to hear me out. Or... read me out, but anyway! Elmo has kept the greatest, longest running, most original children's television show of all time going EXTREMELY strong. Elmo is probably one of the major reasons Sesame Street still holds as much power and push today as it did back in the seventies and eighties. Elmo has saved Sesame Street, albeit taken over it. And besides, Kevin Clash is one of the most amazing human beings I know of. He's a great man, with an incredible talent, and he's saved Sesame Street. *steps off Vic's soap box*
L - Well said. Now, aside from all that, Elmo does have some good qualities. I mean, come on- nobody gets that popular without ANY good traits... I hope...
P - Hehe, I agree with you. He's extremely cute, and undeniably huggable.
L - Mm-hm. And if you've ever read "My Life as a Furry Red Monster," you really see just how well-meaning he is. But I have to say that there is one Elmo moment that I hold in very high respect.
P - Please tell!
L - I've never actually seen it, but I've heard it. Elmo sings "Just One Person." As wonderful as that is, that's not the moment. The moment is right AFTER he sings it, when he says, just as sincerely as any little red monster could ever say anything, "Elmo believes in you." Gets me every single time I listen to it.
P - "And Elmo loves you too. Bye!" YES! Oh that is awesome.
L - It IS! It is SO hard to hold any kind of grudge against him when you hear him say that. It's ADORABLE! And so sweet, and so heartfelt, and so... Oh, I dunno. It's great. Oh, and Elmo is on every recording I've ever heard of a song called "Songs," which I also adore, so he gets kudos for that, too.
P - I think there are only two recordings of "Songs."
L - Yes, well, Elmo is on both of them, so... Oh, and he sang "One Fine Face" with Ernie.
P - He also sang "Sing After Me" with Ernie, and did a few sketches with Kermit back in the eighties.
L - Mm-hm! So really, he's done some very cute, adorable, wonderful things, and should be respected accordingly.
P - I agree. And I'd like to come out as being a closet Elmo fan. I give up. He's a great character, and I respect him, and love him. And I would hug him anytime I had the chance.
L - ...And that distinguishes him from every single Muppet in the world... how?
P - *blink* *shrug* I don't know if I'd hug Uncle Deadly, he seems spikey.
L - ...Somehow, I don't think that would stop you... Did I mention yet that I used to be able to do a really good Elmo voice?
P - No! You didn't! I didn't even know that! Huh... Go figure. Oh, and about Elmo's World... it could be better, but I'm not going to complain right now. I can't believe we made it through this whole thing without mentioning my fan-fic.
L - <Giggles> And if we haven't... Turn on Sesame Street, folks.
P - Indeed.
44. The Muppet Newsman (The Muppet Show)
L - Here is a Muppet News Flash!
P - Breaking news! The Muppet Newsman tips the charts at number forty-four! Details at- *chart tipped on top of Prawn*
L - The Newsman is one of the most abused Muppets. End of story. Except, not end of story, because there's so much more to say!
P - Hehehe! If we left you at that, we may be considered... mean people, which, by no stretch of the imagination are we. ...Or... something like that. Anyway, in the realms of physical humor (or humour, for those of you who spell it that way... weirdos... the lot of you!), no one does it like the Newsman.
L - With the help of all the random stories he gets, which LOOOOVE to abuse him...
P - Please, I have NEVER done any sort of thing like that! I've never dropped a high school on him, or a ton of penguins on him, or anything else.
L - I never turned the lights out on him with his entire crew going on strike, either.
P - Should we get off this subject since some of our readers don't double as fan-fic readers?
L - Yes, probably.
P - My favorite is when the Newsman had a cow dropped on him.
L - Ooh, I don't think I've seen that one! But my personal favorite I think has to be, "It has been reported just moments ago that a large, heavy object has been dropped from the ceiling! Further developments will-"
P - Hehehe! Yes, that's a great one too. Actually, all of them are. I'll give you three guesses who performed him at TMS Live and on Muppet Party Cruise.
L - Oy... I'm no good at these... Um...
P - *plays Jeopardy theme*
L - ...Um... Bill?
P - Two more guesses.
L - Curses. Um... Brian?
P - Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!
L - Ooh, yay! What do I win?
P - ...One free guess.
L - ...Nice.
P - We have a 100% crowd pleasing rate. ...Or maybe that's crowd leaving rate... anyway...
L - Question! Do you like the Newsman with or without the glasses?
P - With. That way I don't misplace the ones that go with my action figure of him.
L - ...<grumbles about the Prawn having too much Muppet merchandise> INteresting reason. Personally, I think the glasses give him more definition as a character.
P - You got that off the Muppet Morsels, didn't you?
L - ...No? Not intentionally, anyway.
P - Oh. Good for you, then!
L - Oh why thank you!
P - Oh, anytime. Are we done here?
L - No, not yet.
P - *rolls eye* Go on.
L - <throws golf balls at Newsman> Looks like hail! Okay, NOW we're done.
P - I put up with this everyday folks.
L - Whenever you sign on, anyway...
P - Yes, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. NOW can we move on?
L - Yes dear.
43. Link Hogthrob (The Muppet Show)
P - Who's your tailor? I looooove that outfit!
L - Ah, yes, Link. Let's see, what can we say about him... He's not too humble, not too bright, not too respectful of Miss Piggy...
P - Hehehe! Oh I LOVE him so much. He's such a good outlet of... everything unlikeable but it makes him terribly likeable.
L - Especially because he's so confident. He doesn't necessarily have any right to be, but he is!
P - He's just SO funny! He's everything Jim wasn't, but he was still Jim.
L - Indeed. I love his voice.
P - I think it was either Brian or Jane that said Jim used Link's voice when cutting the Thanksgiving turkey.
L - I'm pretty sure it was Brian.
P - Any idea where/when he said that?
L - ...For some reason, I think it was one of the introductions... But um... I really have no clue at all.
P - Oh okay. So anyway, LINK!
L - I love when he sang to the piglet.
P - SONNY BOY! Oh that song is SOOOO awesome! (I have it if anyone wants it.)
L - "Or, if you REALLY persevere... You might grow up and become a football."
P - Hahaha! YES! Link just has so much character and... I love him! He's so much fun to make fun of.
L - I wonder if he puts that on his resume. "Most attractive butt of any joke..."
P - HAHAHA! Oh I would! I know I try to refrain from talking fan-fic in here... but after writing "Muppet High" I absolutely despised Link. But then I
brought him back in "Men Are Pigs" and fell in love with his character.
L - Yeah, I sometimes feel like Link gets overlooked in fanfic sometimes. He really is a quite likable character.
P - Yes, as much as he's disliked by most of the Muppets, he's really very loveable.
L - Especially with that voice. Did I mention that I love his voice yet?
P - You did, yes. I love his voice too, it's so whiny and adorably hillarious.
L - And it's trying so hard to be suave.
P - Speaking of which, I love his hair.
L - Me too!
P - He's so... awesome.
L - Yes. He is. He hasn't been around much lately, though.
P - No... he was in Muppet Party Cruise, voiced by Steve.
L - Mm. How'd he sound?
P - Pretty good. A little too whiny though.
L - Mm. Well... Maybe he'll come back, in time. You never know.
P - Oh I certainly hope he does.
L - Me too. I don't think he's the highest priority at the moment, but... Like I said, you never know.
P - *nods* So shall we move on?
L - I guess so!
42. Polly Lobster and Clueless Morgan (Muppet Treasure Island and Muppets Tonight!)
P - What was that song that just happened?
L - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
P - You know, the one that went, "Cabin Fever, ah! That."
L - Can't you see, John? You've gotta get us outta here now- Clueless is startin' to go crackers!
P - Folks, I'd like to point out that Lisa told me what to say for that last part, as if I didn't know...
L - Force of habit. I could go on and continue reciting the movie, but I'd rather say that I STILL think that Mad Monty should be included with these two.
P - But they were only a duo on Muppets Tonight! So I only consider them a duo.
L - Yes, well, that's just LOVELY, for those of us who have SEEN Muppets Tonight! I see them as the main pirate trio of Muppet Treasure Island.
P - You see 'em your way, I see 'em mine! Let's call the whole group great!
L - Isn't that the point of the list, more or less?
P - Yes. More or less. Anyway! Clueless was really Bill's breakout character, and BOY did he break out!
L - Really? What'd he break?
P - Out.
L - I think we're drifting into the wrong show.
P - I like Kevin Clash.
L - So I've heard.
P - I wish Polly and Clueless would come back, they're such a comedic duo, and they've got great character.
L - ...My dear goodness!
P - You can see why it didn't get past being a vision.
L - Mm-hm. I don't think we've said enough about Clueless.
P - He's HILLARIOUS!
L - He's kinda sweet, too. "Well- I for one feel better about myself! Yeah. And I believe that I have learned a VALUABLE lesson."
P - Hehehe! Yes! I love the part where he says "Oh, oh, okay, okay, I'm dead!" to Jim. And I know you'll correct me on that line right about... now.
L - "Okay I give! Uncle! Um... I'm dead." And then he falls over, and Jim rolls his eyes and jumps into another part of the swordfight, and we cut to- ...<ahem> Sorry. I'll restrain myself.
P - Sheesh, can we please move on?
L - Probably should.
41. Red Fraggle (Fraggle Rock)
P - WHOOPIE! *ahem* Sorry.
L - Dance your cares away! <clap clap> Worries for ANOTHER day, oh LET the music play! <clap clap> Down at Fraggle Rock! ...<ahem> See, I told you it's reflex...
P - Red is just so... spunky!
L - VERY spunky! Very full of life and energetic and competitive and WHEEEE!
P - And I believe she holds the distinct honor of being the only Karen Prell character represented on our list.
L - Did I mention that I used Red in my final paper in an AP English class?
P - I... don't think so?
L - Ooh! Hang on, I'll see if I can find the excerpt...
P - Hang on to what?
L - Nothing. I found it!
P - Well tell de people!
L - Puppeteer Karen Prell says that, when she started performing on the television show Fraggle Rock, she was not confident with her character of Red Fraggle until an episode in which Red tries to be another character, Mokey. The episode highlighted all of Red and Mokey’s differences, including their hair- Mokey, a calm, mature, and artistic character, wore her hair down, so that it was mostly stationary. Red, a spunky, energetic, competitive character, wore her hair in two large pigtails that seemed to bounce with her every move. ("New Interviews with Fraggle Rock Creators and Puppeteers")
P - Well good for you for using her like that! I've used the Sesame characters on countless occasions, but that's beside the point. Red rocks!
L - Fraggle Rock?
P - Wocka. Wocka.
L - Hey, you set it up...
P - And you knocked it right down. You're bowling a perfect game tonight, hon.
L - Oh, thanks darling!
P - May we stop here so I can go to bed?
L - For now, I suppose.
P - Farewell, my people! You've been great! And don't forget, for any and all songs talked about in today's installment, send a private message to theprawncracker with your e-mail address and the requested song! Thank you, and good night! Back to you, Lisa!
L - Oh thank you. Um... Basically, what he said! Except without the song thing, because I get all my songs from Prawnie, so... Yeah. More to come at some random point! Good night!
P - Prawn out!
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